"I like cats."
"I like dogs."
"How can you like dogs? They're all… sweaty and drooly."
"How can you like cats? They're all… furry and clawful."
"At least they don't drool on you!"
"Dogs don't scratch you!"
"Right. Dogs bite you."
"Freaking Doctor. Cats are so much better," Donna whispered to Jack.
"Ahem. I like dogs."
They watched as the Doctor produced a dog from no where."
"This is Sam."
Rose promptly reached down and came up with a cat.
"This is Petal. Fight!"
The cat hissed and clawed the dog, who whimpered and scuttled away.
"Where did they get those?" Jack hissed.
"HA! Beat that!" Rose and Donna both yelled.
"Where could they be?" Martha wondered. Jack, Donna and Martha were stomping along the corridor of the TARDIS, looking for the Doctor and Rose.
"I dunno," Jack replied intelligently.
They stopped as they heard strange grunts.
"Shhh…" Donna muttered and cracked open the door.
The Doctor's coat was on the floor and Rose's legs were inside the pockets… What?
"Bigger on the inside," the Doctor explained. "We're seeing if we can get Rose inside."
"How would you get her out?" Jack asked interestedly.
"We'll cross the bridge when we get to it."
Rose shrieked.
"What was that? There was something furry!"
"Oh, yeah," the Doctor said sheepishly. "That could've possibly, maybe been the rat…"
"Get me the bloody hell of here!"
"Okay, Rose. Calm down. Just yank!"
"Ow!"
"Oops."
Rose and the Doctor were sprawled out on an oversized couch in the library. They were almost alone (Rose had thought she saw Jack lurking amongst the shelves). The Doctor was reading a Japanese philosophy and Rose was re-reading the sixth Harry Potter book.
"Let's play Would You Rather," Rose said, setting her book aside.
"Alright," he said. The Doctor removed what Rose called his sexy specs and turned towards her.
"Would you rather live with someone you loved but they didn't love you or someone who loved you but you didn't love them?"
The Doctor tapped his chin.
"I think with someone I loved but didn't love me. I can never be unhappy when I'm with someone I love."
Rose nodded and they stared into each other's eyes.
Jack, who was in fact lurking in what every one called Jack's Librido, and which seemed to include a lot of erotica and porn, silently snickered. So that was why the Doctor and Rose were always so damn happy.
"Okay. Would you rather get flayed alive or boiled in olive oil?"
Rose pursed her lips.
"Um… Boiled in olive oil."
"Me, too," The Doctor said beaming.
"Would you rather be a lily or a rose?" Rose asked, trying and failing to act nonchalant.
"A rose," the Doctor murmured. Jack's lips twitched.
"Would you rather date a doctor or an accountant?" The Doctor asked, blushing a bit.
"A doctor," Rose said, biting her lip. They smiled at each other. Jack wrapped his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter.
"Would you rather date a blond or a brunette?"
"A blonde. Would you rather eat fish fingers and custard or bananas?"
"Bananas," Rose confirmed. "I like bananas. Bananas are cool. Would you rather wear a bowtie or a normal tie?"
The Doctor frowned.
"A normal tie. Bowties are lame."
Rose looked scandalized.
"Bowties are cool!" The Doctor rolled his eyes. By this time, Jack was rolling around on the floor laughing silently.
Rose went back to Harry Potter, and the Doctor picked up his Japanese philosophy.
were all drinking tea.
He shoved a pile of three books in her hands, spilling her tea.
"JACK!" She screeched. Jack rolled his eyes.
"Freaky Brits," he muttered.
After the tea was cleaned up, Rose picked up the book on top.
"Fifty Shades Of Gray?" she asked incredulously. Jack puffed out his chest.
"They are, like, the best books ever," he said earnestly. Martha blinked. Donna's nostrils flared. The Doctor's lips twitched. Rose's tongue poked out. Martha let loose a tiny noise. Donna's lips quivered. The Doctor shoved his fist in his mouth. Rose snorted. Martha giggled. And then they were all laughing uproariously.
"Oh..my..God," Donna choked. "You're reading Fifty Shades Of Gray!" She exclaimed, dissolving into laughter again.
"What? What?" Jack squawked. "What is it?"
"Jack, m-mum loved that book," Rose said, clutching her sides.
"Jackie?" Jack demanded, looking horrified.
"Yeah," The Doctor said, his face flushed. Jack turned an interesting shade of green.
"I bet," Donna whispered in Jack's ears. "I bet she imagined she was Anastasia."
Jack had now begun to cry.
"No… no," he said brokenly. No one judged him for this. If they had read Fifty Shades Of Gray with Jackie in every, single scene, they would've cried too.