Author's note: I wrote almost all of the dialogue for this chapter last year after the Season 3 finale. I've just tweaked it here and there, adding a little, subtracting a little. This was always going to happen, just the way it happens, except for one little twist, which I think just adds to the angst.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"Paige."

"Walter."

His whispered name on her lips sent a shiver down his spine. The last place he would have expected to find her was working as a waitress. He thought she would have found another job similar to the one she had at Scorpion. He would have given her a good reference, as would Elia. But she hadn't. She was here, staring at him as he was staring at her.

"I-I can g-go," he suggested, seeing what he thought was dismay on her thinner, beautiful face. A face he thought to never see again. A face which still haunted his dreams every night.

"No. . . No, stay," she murmured. "My shift is over in fifteen minutes." She smoothed down the front of her apron and took a step back.

"Wait," he pleaded, not wanting her to go just yet. He reached out and touched her hand, the old familiar jolt of desire shooting through him, addling his brain until he broke the connection.

A small gasp had escaped her throat, indicating she had been similarly affected by the contact. "Walter. . ."

"Can we. . . Can we talk? Please?"

She didn't reply and he grew certain she was going to turn him down. "Okay," she agreed, and he released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Do you still want to order?" she asked, indicating the notepad in her hand.

"No, this is fine." He picked up the glass of ice water she'd set down in front of him, recalling the first time she'd ever done so. On the day they'd first met. The day he'd fallen in love with her. There were tears shimmering in her eyes and he knew she was remembering it as well.

"Okay. I, uh, I'll be back when my shift's over," she said before turning and walking away. He watched her go, unable to take his eyes off of her until she disappeared around a corner.

Less than twenty minutes later, she approached him, this time carrying her purse and a sweater. "So, you want to talk?"

"Would it be all right if we went somewhere else?" he asked, sliding out of the booth. There were things he needed to say and he didn't think he should say them at her place of work.

"Sure," she said with a shrug. "Where?"

The garage was out. Animosity toward Paige still ran strong through most of its occupants. Kovelski's was also a no-go, since the odds of running into someone they knew there were too high.

"The beach?" he asked after rejecting several other venues. "The one where we. . ."

"Okay," she agreed before he could finish. "Sounds good."

"Separate cars?" When she looked confused, he added, "So you can leave whenever you want."

"All right, I'll meet you there." She gave him a tentative smile before turning away.

Walter watched as she headed back through the kitchen, wondering if she truly was going to be there or if he'd never see her again. Both prospects made him slightly queasy. He took one last sip of the now tepid water before heading toward the exit.

ooooo

She must have beat him to the beach as she didn't see his car in the parking lot. Getting out of her Malibu, Paige slipped off her shoes and socks before walking barefoot out onto the sand. It seemed like a lifetime ago they'd helped Owen, the boy who had been trapped in a sea cave on Christmas Eve. Or when they'd launched Megan's ashes into space a year later; Walter sacrificing fifteen million dollars to give himself closure over her death.

She'd been so full of hope that day. Remembering how Walter had reached for her, crying in her arms as she did her best to comfort him over the loss of his sister. How he'd held her hand as they watched the rocket soar out of sight. Before everything had gotten so muddled and awkward and had gone so horribly wrong.

"Hey." She'd been so lost in her reminiscing, she hadn't heard Walter approach. He glanced nervously at her as he stepped up beside her. His hands were stuffed into his jacket pockets, a blanket draped over one arm.

"Hey," she said, still in a bit of shock he was there with her as they started walking toward the water.

"Wanna sit down?" he asked about fifty feet from the shore.

"Okay." She watched as he spread the blanket onto the sand. When he finished, he held out his hand to her. She stared at it, uncertain whether she should take it. When he'd touched her earlier, at the restaurant. . . Heat had flowed through her like a wildfire before settling into a throbbing ache low in her belly.

She'd thought she'd seen a flare of desire in his eyes, but figured it had to be wishful thinking. He couldn't want her, not after what she'd done. He'd been so disgusted with her a year ago, and rightly so. She'd been disgusted with herself.

When she lifted her her head, he was staring expectantly at her, no trace of revulsion on his thin, handsome face. Her hand trembled as she took his and he helped her lower herself down onto the blanket. As soon as she could, she let go, curling up with her knees against her chest and her arms wrapped around her shins. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as he sat down at least two feet away, crossing his legs and resting his hands on his thighs.

A light breeze ruffled the curls on the top of his head, curls which had become a lot more unruly since she'd seen him last. He must have ditched the t-shirts he'd worn when they'd been together in favor of the button-down shirts and ties he'd once worn. His tie had been loosened and the top two buttons of his light blue shirt had been undone. She could see the neck of his white undershirt peeking out. Sadly she wondered if he had also reverted back to the low-EQ robot he'd been when they'd met.

His gaze was pointed toward the ocean, apparently fixated on the waves lapping at the sand. For someone who'd been so eager to talk, he sure seemed to be at a loss for words. Realizing she would have to get the ball rolling, she took a deep breath.

"I had sex with another woman," he blurted out before she could even open her mouth. Her jaw dropped along with her stomach and a sharp ache formed around her heart. Her vision began to blur. Oh, God. The thought of him. . .with someone else. . . She'd been his first, and she'd wanted to be his last, his only. She blinked back her tears, her hypocrisy making her sick with shame.

"Who?" She didn't care if it was none of her business, she needed to know. Praying it hadn't been Linda or worse yet, that computer scientist. . .Gloria Gorgeous or whatever her name had been.

"Her name was Florence," he said, still staring out at sea. "Is Florence. Florence Tipton. Remember the vacant building adjacent to the garage?" She nodded, wondering what on earth it had to do with him sleeping with this Flo woman. "Anyway, she, uh, rented it about six months ago. She was, is, a chemist and she was using it a lab and she didn't like the noise we were making and we didn't even know she'd moved in and. . ."

He must have realized he was rambling because he paused, inhaling sharply. "She helped us out on a few cases and. . . Cabe and Toby thought she and I were compatible and I should ask her out." Running his hand over the back of his neck, he continued. "She had pleasantly symmetrical features, was of above average intelligence, we had similar interests. . . So I did. Ask her out," he added as if he were clarifying it for her.

"Did they think you should sleep with her too," she asked harshly, fury threatening to explode inside her. He'd been vulnerable, was still vulnerable. To force him into a relationship before he was ready. . . She saw the shrink's meddling fingers all over this. If she ever saw Toby again, she was gonna rip him a new one.

"No," he confessed somewhat sheepishly, only confirming her suspicions he'd been coerced into going out with this woman. "She indicated she desired intercourse after our third date. I wasn't really attracted to her. But I was curious. I wanted to see if. . .um. . . So. . .so, I, uh, did. . . I had sex with her."

She couldn't tell if he was gloating, deliberately trying to hurt her as she'd hurt him, or if he truly had no idea his every word felt like he was stabbing her in the heart with a dull knife.

"Walter, you don't need. . ." she started to interrupt him, not knowing how much more she could take. He went on as if he hadn't heard her.

"It was not one of my better experiments. The outcome was unfavorable. I, uh. . I couldn't respond to her physically until. . .until I imagined she was you." He chuckled mirthlessly. "She was less than thrilled when I called her by your name at a critical juncture."

"Oh, God." Paige didn't know whether to laugh or cry, although she was leaning heavily toward crying. The way he had whispered her name when he came, so full of awe, so full of love. . . It usually sent her over the edge, even if she'd already orgasmed. That he'd said it. . .while with someone else. . . The tears which had been threatening began to spill.

He still had his eyes trained forward, watching a young family playing in the surf near the water's edge. "She made it clear she never wanted to see me again," he continued. "She, uh, packed up her lab and moved away about a couple of weeks later. They stopped pestering me about dating after that."

"Oh, God, Walter. I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything until you hear me out," he said as he scrambled to his feet before getting back down on his knees in front of her, his dark brown eyes boring into hers. "I-I still love you. I will always love you."

"Walter. . ." Oh, God, she never imagined she'd ever hear those words from him again. But then she had never expected to ever see him again. And it made her shiver with fear, wondering what else he had to say.

"P-Please, hear me out," he cut in. "I had an epiphany after. . . After what happened with, uh. . . After my unsuccessful foray into dating. I-I tried to call y-you, but your number was no longer in service, so. . . I went to your condo. Someone else was living there."

"I moved and changed my number," she said briskly. "I-I didn't think I'd ever hear from you again." She couldn't tell him the real reason, that she didn't want to hear from Tim again. But he was smart, and by the way he nodded, he'd already guessed why.

"I supposed I could have tried harder to track you down, but I figured you went to a lot of trouble to drop off the radar, so I. . . I gave up."

"I'm so sorry," she murmured.

He ran a hand through his windblown curls. "I know now I'm not enough for you, that y-you need more than I'm capable of giving you, both emotionally and physically. So if you need other men to fulfill those. . .n-needs. . . I can live with that. Because I can't live w-without y-you. I just ask you to please be discreet and practice safe sex."

He lifted his eyes to met hers and she could see he meant every word of what he was proposing. His sincerity nearly broke her. She'd done this to him, shattered his heart, wounded his pride, had damaged him so badly he thought he was the one lacking, he was the one to blame for her cheating with Tim. She got up on her knees, reaching out to take his hands in hers.

"Walter, I'm so sorry that I hurt you," she began. "I wish I could take away the pain I put you through, but I know I can't. The damage has been done and I have to live with what I. . .."

Her breath hitched as hot tears scalded her cheeks. "I know I've destroyed any trust you ever had in me." She reached out and caressed his face. "Walter, I still love you, too. I've never stopped. But what you're offering. . ."

She shook her head, dropping her hand. "That's not what I want. And I don't think you do either."

"I don't," he admitted. "But, Paige. . .I'm lost without you. This past year. . ." He stared down at the sand. "It's been the worst year of my life."

"For me too." She sat back on her heels, wiping at her eyes. "I've been seeing a therapist to find out why. . .why I did what I did."

"Oh." He sounded surprised. "And did you. . .did you discover why?"

"I'm afraid to be happy," she said. "Every time in my life I've been happy, something always happened to take it away." She picked at a loose thread on the blanket. "And I was so happy with you. Too happy. I got scared. Scared you'd grow tired of me. Scared you'd want to be with someone more your intellectual equal. Scared you'd abandon me like everyone else did.

"So I tried to tell myself I was dissatisfied. That you weren't romantic enough. The sex was too vanilla. And even though I knew none of that was true, it didn't stop me from self-sabotaging our relationship. It was all my fault. Certainly not yours. Not even his. The blame is all on me. I just hope that someday you can forgive me."

"Paige." He raised his eyes to meet hers. "What you did. . . It did hurt me. I can't pretend it didn't. But you're the love of my life. I'd forgive you anything."

"Oh, God, Walter. . ." She didn't deserve his forgiveness. She didn't deserve him.

"I-I'd like to start again," he said. "Us. For us to start again. If it's something you'd want. . ."

"It's something I want," she replied. "More than anything. Oh, God. . ." She had to turn away, tears leaking from her eyes once again. "I'm so sor. . ."

"Stop," Walter said, holding out his hand. "You've already apologized and I've forgiven you."

She glanced at him. "But will you ever trust me?"

"I. . .I don't know. . ." But he wanted to. Wanted to so badly. But he'd worry about it later. Because right now, he could only think of how much he loved her. "C-Can I hold you," he asked. "Please. . . I-I. . ."

She didn't let him finish as she scooted closer and wrapped her arms around him. He took a deep breath, almost weak with relief that under the layers of grease and sweat, he could still smell her lavender. Her body felt thinner, more fragile, as his hands glided down her spine until they rested at the small of her back. She'd slid her hands across his shoulders to the back of his head, where her fingers entwined themselves in his hair.

"Your hair's longer than before. . ." she murmured as she absently twirled a strand of it.

"I can get it cut," he offered, willing to shave it all off if that was what she wanted.

"No, I like it this way." She raked both hands through it. A shiver passed through him as he thrummed with desire.

"M-May I kiss you?"

"Walter. . ." She pulled away, and he was sure he'd overstepped a boundary. "Walter, you don't have to ask."

"Oh." There was a light in her eyes, the one which had been missing all those months before, and he was nearly overcome with joy. "I love you," he murmured before softly pressing his lips to hers.

What started out as a gentle spark soon burst into a raging inferno. Lust shot through him as their tongues tasted and teased, dancing together in a familiar rhythm. She tugged him closer, grabbing fistfuls of his hair as his hands cupped the curve of her bottom. Without breaking their kiss, Paige slowly sank back onto the blanket, bringing Walter down on top of her.