Chapter 14

The jetlag was so important that at noon in Khabarovsk, but two o'clock in the morning in New York, Sam ordered a nap for everyone. The operation was almost ready to launch, so it could start in the evening. Kestrel was eager to go on the field again, and he welcomed the siesta in order to rest and be perfectly ready at 6 pm. He slept peacefully during four hours, then knocked on Alpha's door. She hardly ever slept, being insomniac. But this time she slept an hour, a record.

_ You really were tired, then, he said.

_ I suppose so, she said, rubbing her eyes. Yesterday events, for sure.

_ Ready for tonight?

_ Yes. But it won't be easy.

_ It's never easy.

_ Yes, you're right.

He sat on the bed next to her, concern in his eyes.

_ You don't have to do it, you know?

She caught his glance and stared at him. He was nervous, a very unusual expression on his face. She had never seen him so anxious before a mission. And he had stopped shaving, the three-day stubble made him look even more serious.

_ What do you mean? she asked, puzzled.

_ I mean you're not a professionnal like me or Sam or Briggs. Do you really want to be an ops like us and do the mission?

_ Interesting, she commented, and he could see the anger boiling in her eyes. If I remember correctly, you taught me how to be an operative, to shoot with a gun, everything. You were quite happy to have me at your side against Voron! Why this sudden change of mind? Because we are now with Fourth Echelon you would prefer have one of them with you rather than me? Have you ever trusted me?

She shouted the last words, then, without waiting for an answer, left the cabin, slamming the door so violently that the entire row of cabins shook. Kestrel, rooted to the spot, was first too stunned to react. Then he realized what she had interpreted upon his words, and rage erupted in him. He opened the door, shot out in the corridor and accidentally shoved Sam and Briggs, who had come to see what was the problem. He ran past them without an apology and sprinted towards the cargo hold, knowing that in her state, Alpha would take it out on her guns, scrubbing and polishing them until they gleamed. He ran past Grim who look astonished to see him in this state, past Kobin who let out a scream and hastily retreated in the kitchen, and reached the door of the cargo hold. He slammed it open, only to find the ramp down. Alpha lad left the plane.

Sam found him ten minutes later seated on the floor of the cargo hold next to his gear, looking outside at the airport.

_ What happened? he asked gently.

_ I made a mistake, Kestrel whispered, a world of sorrow in his voice. She'll never forgive me.

_ Tell me.

Sam sat next to him and, without pushing him, waited for the answer. He had heard Alpha's shout, seen Kestrel's seething expression, and knew that something bad had happened between them, but he had to know what and why. Not out of curiosity, but because he gave them a mission, and he had to know if they were still a team and could do the job. But would Kestrel tell him? he dimly wondered.

At last Kestrel cleared his throat and started:

_ You know I want to protect her. She is perfectly able to go on any mission like a trained operative, but I don't like it. I just asked her if that was what she really wanted, to be an ops like us and do the mission.

He sighed heavily, his voice trembling slightly.

_ She took it as a lack of trust from me. All I care about is her safety, but she misunderstood me. And now she's gone, and I don't know if she will come back.

Sam surveyed him carefully. He was shaken, bewildered of her reaction and terrified at the fact that she could disappear and never come back. She clearly meant a lot to him.

_ I should have told her, Kestrel added miserably.

_ It seems we have the same problem, Sam stated calmly. It's not easy working with the woman we love, especially in our domain, where high risks are at stake. If we don't come back alive, if we get them killed...

His voice trailed off. His greatest fear, and Kestrel's too apparently. How could they live with that thought?

_ But it is their choice, Sam continued. Grim, thank God, isn't on the field, and what happened yesterday will be her last mission like that, I'll make sure of that. But Alpha chose to be with you, and you trained her. She can defend herself, Briggs can tell.

Kestrel had a half-smirk. Sam carried on:

_ And you did a great job together, against Voron and the Engineers. We need you both against Meggido. She is a great hacker, but you helped her becoming someone else, and we need her in this way too. I won't be on the field much longer, you know. You'll have to step up and take my place.

_ You offer us a job?

Kestrel sounded amazed, and Sam was a little surprised at his own words too, but he knew that it would be the right thing to do. Kestrel deserved a second chance, after his ordeals with Voron, and was a gifted operative, he had perused his file.

_ Why not? Would you bury the hatchet and join Fourth Echelon officially?

Kestrel visibly thought about it, and finally said gloomily:

_ I'd be glad and honored. Unfortunately I'm not American, and neither is Alpha. That I know.

_ That can be arranged.

_ But I don't know if she even will come back, Kestrel admitted with a groan. She took her gear and weapons.

_ What?

_ Yes, I don't know why, but I have a bad suspicion. Maybe she started the operation, to prove to us, and especially to me, that she really wants to do it.

_ But it's crazy!

Sam was alarmed. A team of two was the best plan to terminate Park Li-Song, and it wouldn't have been some walk in the park, but one against at least fifty guards?

_ We must do something!

_ There's nothing we can do, said Kestrel, putting his face in his hands. She will have deactivated every connexion to her if she doesn't want to be bothered by us. We'll be blind, deaf and dumb. Sadly, I know exactly how she proceeds.

_ We can join her in the facility. We have to do something!

Sam couldn't stay idle, he just couldn't. But Kestrel didn't move and answered him, his voice muffled by his hands.

_ We can't. You cannot interfere in a current operation, you know it, even more when you cannot communicate with the ops on the field. Too dangerous for everybody.

Sam didn't like it, but Kestrel was right. If Alpha had really launched the operation, there was nothing they could do except wait for her return. They stayed for a few minutes in silence, watching the sunlight fade and the airport start to glow. Then Sam got up and held out his hand.

_ Come on, Kestrel. Let's see what we can do to help her. We'll ask Charlie. He's a hacker too, he'll give us info.

Kestrel said nothing but accepted the hand and got up.

_ She'll succeed, he said unexpectedly. She's the best.

_ Oh dear, Sam sighed. And she left because she thought you didn't trust her? When she comes back, I'll kick her butt for thinking such a stupid thing. And I'll kick yours for not telling her what you feel about her.

_ Careful, Sam, Kestrel warned with a sad smile. Confessed anything to some lady in the control room recently?

_ Shut up, Kestrel, Sam growled.

They bumped their fists, like old buddies, and made their way to the control room.

For an hour Charlie tried everything, but nothing worked. It looked like Alpha had wiped the company's building and herself off the face of the planet. She really was the best hacker in the world. In the end, Grim suggested a temporary hacking of some GPS satellites to see on the ground, and this time he succeeded. On the console and the screens, the images showed the building with a lot of dead guards around. Flashing lights inside revealed that Alpha was still alive and fighting. They watched for what seemed like hours, but only fifteen minutes passed until the lights disappeared. They waited during ten more minutes, peering at every inch of screen, then saw a lonely sihouette emerge from the building, holding what looked like a tablet computer.

_ It's her! Kestrel shouted loudly, looking immensely relieved, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

_ You sure? asked Briggs.

As if to answer, the silhouette suddenly looked upwards, straight towards the satellite, and made some signs with its hands. Kestrel smiled, his eyes very bright.

_ She said: "Nice work, Charlie, but the NASA satellite was safe. Kestrel, you bastard, I bring you a present."

_ What present? Grim wondered, also looking relieved.

_ We have this competition running, he explained. When on the field, we take something from the chief enemy, usually a weapon or a specific piece of cloth. And the one who brings it back is treated with a fancy dinner by the other. And I can tell you I cook quite often.

_ Looks like you'll cook us a great dinner, then, Sam said, amused. Poor Kobin, he'll have a heart attack when he sees you. And, he whispered in Kestrel's ear, looks like she's coming back after all.

_ Yes.

Kestrel was ridiculously happy. He still had to apologize, but at least she was coming back to him. And she was alive. That was all that mattered.

_ Shit, Charlie was complaining. I never thought about the NASA satellite.

Everybody laughed.