One

Chapter 14

Rick couldn't stop himself and truth be told, he didn't want anyone to stop him. He leaned in and reached across to cup Kate's face in his hands. He tried to pour his heart out in an effort to help her. "Please don't cry. It's all over now. You're safe here."

"Everything," Kate said yet again.

He used his thumbs to brush away some of her tears. "You remember the shooting?" Rick questioned; she nodded. "Do you remember what I told you?" Had she heard that he loved her?

Kate shook her head. "Don't, Castle." She wasn't worth anyone loving her. She was a mess.

Rick used his thumbs again to brush away some of her tears. "It's too late for that, Kate. You can't stop me now. I AM going to help you and I AM going to love you. My heart knows what it wants."

Ignoring the cold water, he leaned close enough to bush his lips across hers. This time he didn't fail notice that she chased his lips for a moment after he stopped. He took his hands away and carded his fingers gently through her hair. "What do you remember while you were held?" Just how bad was it and what could he do to fix it?

Kate's tears came back with a vengeance. "Everything. He…he gave me shots. At first he said they were antibiotics for my chest." She moved her hand under the ice to touch her gunshot wound. "But it always hurt, even after the first few shots. Then I begged him for the shots. That was when he made me pay for the shots. He made me…he made me… God, Castle!" Kate couldn't stop from remembering or from the crying turn into body shaking sobs.

Rick went back to holding her face. "I don't care what he had you do. It doesn't change what I feel or how much I care." He kissed her forehead and brushed some of her tears away.

"He made me…made me suck his cock." Kate looked at Castle, pleading for him to take the memory away. "I can still taste his…" Rick didn't want to hear that part and didn't want her to remember or dwell on it so he leaned down and kissed her and kept kissing her.

"Don't think about it, Kate. We're going to make new memories to cover over the old ones. Good memories, just us." Rick so wanted a future and good memories with her when he was old and gray.

"Promise?" Kate wanted something she could hang onto. She loved him and if she couldn't get rid of him…

"Castle." Kate was ready but was interrupted when Rick kissed her again.

"You remembered when I told you that I loved you, so maybe you'll remember this time, too. I love you, Kate, more than I've ever loved anyone. Well maybe save for Alexis…maybe." He got her to laugh at him and then became quite worried when her laughing turned into a severe coughing episode.

"Lanie…LANIE!" Her coughing wasn't stopping.

Lanie pushed Castle out of the way and didn't care that it actually rolled him on the bathroom floor. "Bring the temperature probe!" Lanie called out. She took it from Susan to determine the temperature of the tub.

"Bring the injection; she's ready. It'll pass, Kate, just try and breathe." Lanie reached into the ice to take hold of her, doing her best to try and ignore the cold. "Just breathe, Kate." Lanie crooned as Susan arrived with the syringe and injected her. Kate calmed down and closed her eyes just like last time.

Lanie got up, pulling Castle away and back into the bedroom, leaving Susan to watch Kate. It was time for a serious talk.

"We're fighting a lot here, Castle. Her addiction is bad enough, but we think the infection in her gunshot wound has spread. We're pretty sure it's reached her lungs. What we don't know is if it's reached her heart." Lanie hated telling him but if he was going to help Kate fight to stay alive, he needed to know what he was up against. "She's vulnerable at the moment, so don't piss her off. She needs a reason to live. What's been done to her is affecting her." Lanie decided to risk it. She took a deep breath. "Kate's already asked me to kill her." Lanie was fast but not fast enough. Castle's legs gave out and he landed on the floor with a thud.

Lanie knelt down to his level. "She needs a reason to live, Rick. We need for her to fight. All the medicine in the world can't stop a person from just shutting down and dying if they want to."

Rick couldn't believe it. Kate had always been a fighter. Had it really been that bad? He grabbed Lanie's shoulders and unaware he was doing it, squeezed tightly. "What do you need? An x-ray machine? I'll get one. More monitoring equipment? I'll find whatever you need. Another nurse, I'll find one." He just needed to know what and he would move heaven and Earth to get it.

"An x-ray machine would be nice." Lanie wasn't going to pass up having one. "Susan and I are enough for now and we have what we need most."

"But you have a job, Lanie. You can't just stop working. …I'll pay you for your time." Anything it took, anything.

Lanie smiled at him. "I'm taking time off for a family emergency. I was only granted three weeks, so we'll see after that."

Rick pulled himself back together. If Kate needed a reason to live he would give her one; having him fall apart again wasn't going to help. He stood up and Lanie came with him.

"Kate needs a reason and I'll give her one. I may need to leave the house for a little while. I'm not sure where I'm going to get an x-ray machine, but I'll find one." He'd made his decision. "And there's something else I need to find."

"We'll be fine. You should thank Alexis; that young woman has done a lot." Lanie had always been impressed with her, even more so now.

"Yeah." Rick hung his head. He had forced a lot onto Alexis and he felt bad about that.

"If this is you feeling bad about how you acted, you deserve it. You put her through hell, Castle." Lanie hoped he knew what an ass he'd been – to his own daughter!

"I've already apologized. I'll do it again on my knees if I have to. Have you seen her?" He could do that first before leaving to find the other two things.

"Not since Susan found her out on the beach when she went to talk to her about getting the ice, but that was hours ago."

Rick set his resolve. "I'll find her, an x-ray machine, and a reason for Kate to fight to live. I can do that."

"Go get 'em, Castle. I'm going back to Kate. As soon as she out and wrapped up I'm going to bed so we can start taking turns." Lanie moved toward his bedroom.

Rick couldn't find Alexis and his mother hadn't seen her. Still he had errands to run and he didn't know how long it would take him or how far he needed to go. Possibly all the way back to New York.

: {o} : {:O:} : {o} :

Kate was still in the tub, turning blue again when Rick showed up at the bedroom door a few hours later. "Where do you want it?" He stepped aside and showed Lanie and Susan what he had.

Lanie pointed at it. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Meet the Medlink SR-130 portable x-ray machine. I couldn't find one to rent so I bought one and had it delivered. They said just roll it to where you want it, set it up, plug it in, and you're in business. The box contains fifty pieces of film for you to use to get the x-rays." Rick was proud of himself. In addition, the unit had only cost him just under $17,000, not including delivery. He had feared it would cost him an arm and a leg and that he would have to have it installed in his bedroom. He would have been willing do that but this had saved him the time and hassle.

"Kate's still in the tub; she's scheduled to come out in…" Lanie checked her watch. "Two hours. Then we'll wrap her back up. We might be able to get her to eat something after that."

"BROTH! I'm on it." Rick left them with the x-ray machine and headed for the kitchen. He hadn't started anything though he had bought what he would need while he was out.

: {o} : {:O:} : {o} :

Rick was watching his broth simmer. His mother showed up and sat down. "How you doing, my boy?"

He'd been holding it together until just now. "She's hurting, Mother. What the son of a bitch holding her had her do…" Rick shook his head. "She was forced to beg for her heroin and do something to get it." He wasn't going to explain to his mother that she had to give her captor a blow job to get her fix.

"She's here now, Richard. You need to be careful and don't screw this up. You need to learn from last time. You two really have to start talking instead of guessing what the other is thinking." Martha had said it all before but he just wouldn't hear her.

"I know, Mother. I, ah, got her something." He fished it out of his pocket and placed it on the counter in front of her.

"Is this…?" Martha had wanted them to talk but was this too much too soon? She picked up the little box and opened it. "Oh, my! It's beautiful, Richard. Katherine will love it. Provided she's ready for it. Are you ready for it?" These two simply knew how to dance.

Love springs eternal with this diamond lotus flower engagement ring, a Forevermark exclusive. This ring features a 0.44 carat G-H color, SI1 clarity round brilliant diamond set in prongs atop pavé diamonds set in a lotus flower form. Pavé diamonds continue on the polished band. Total pavé diamond weight 0.16cts. Center stone sold separately.

The center stone Rick chose was a 1.90 Carat VVS2 Excellent cut round diamond.

Martha was impressed. "Where did you find it?"

"London Jewelers in East Hampton. It was the best I could find on such short notice. Do you…do you think she will like it?" He was still very nervous about it. After all, they hadn't really even dated, at least not officially. Sure they had done a lot of things together but neither of them had called any of that a date.

"She'll love it if she's ready for it. That you love her isn't a secret, but does she love you? This could be simply an embarrassment for her. Say she says yes; is it her saying yes, or the drugs?" Martha wanted her son to be sure.

Rick stopped watching his broth simmer and looked at his mother. "She's hurting and Lanie says that she's already asked her to kill her. She needs to fight to live. To have a reason to live. Even if she doesn't now, that doesn't mean she can't later." Given the way they had treated each other, the Kate he knew would say no. But maybe this Kate was different.

"I'm asking her, Mother. I just need to figure out when." He knew she wanted it to be romantic, to be memorable. Which gave him an idea. After turning down the heat on the broth he went in search of his phone.

: {o} : {:O:} : {o} :

The sixteen different bouquets were set to be delivered and fill the master bedroom with color and the scent of fresh flowers.

Kate was still in the tub, but would be out soon. He carefully carried her bowl of broth up the stairs just in time to find Susan finishing wrapping her up in the electric blankets.

When he got closer that was when he noticed. SHE WAS BLUE! At least her face was. She was clearly cold but how did she get that blue?

"She's all yours, Castle. Don't screw this up. I'm going to bed. If either of you need anything Susan will be here." Lanie patted his arm on the way out. She didn't question him about the broth. He had been told.

Rick mouthed the word Blue? to Susan and set his bowl of broth down on the side table. If Kate was going to eat it she needed to be sitting up a little more, but at least she was awake. He put a number of pillows behind her and kissed her softly and quickly. "I made some broth. It's one of my own concoctions." He saw the face she was making.

"Lanie's orders were for it to not have any spices of any kind in it so it's perfectly safe." Rick sat down beside her and picked back up the bowl and spoon. He swirled it through the steaming liquid and lifted it up to Kate's lips. However, she kept her lips firmly closed. Rick, though, had been through this before with Alexis when she was little. "Oh the horror! The injustice that Kate Beckett, homicide detective, won't eat. It's bad for you," he teased and saw Kate smile, which was his opening. In went the spoon followed by several more until finally the broth was gone.

"That wasn't so bad was it?" Rick commented with a wide smile.

"No," Kate agreed, giving him a small smile back. "Castle." She wanted to tell him that he shouldn't love her. Before all this, she was damaged. Now? Now she was broken. She was even beginning to feel the need for another shot. It wasn't just the bliss that it provided, it allowed her to forget and she had a lot she wanted to forget.

It was lost on her lips when Castle kissed her. Kate found herself once again chasing after his lips when he stopped kissing her. "Almost better than the broth," Rick murmured, making Kate smile a little wider.

"Castle." One more attempt was silenced when Rick placed a finger on her lips.

"If this is you trying to tell me not to love you, that you don't think you're worthy after what you've been through, you're wrong. Kate, in my eyes just the fact that you've lived through all that has happened shows me just how much strength you truly have. I told you once that you were extraordinary. Allow me the privilege of loving you. You don't have to love me back the same. You can grow into it."

Kate could feel her tears starting. What she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and kiss him, but her arms were trapped under the warm blankets. "What if I already do?" she asked him softly, shyly.

He was all set to argue when her words finally sunk in. "What?" Rick searched her face.

Kate's lower lip quivered from the fear of what it meant. She wasn't worth it and shouldn't feel what she did. "What if I already do…love you."

Rick's smile beamed as his heart soared. Enough that he reached out to hold her face in both his hands and kissed her. This time when he stopped and she chased after his lips, he kissed her again. "Hold that thought," Rick told her; she was all set to answer that she couldn't lose it if she tried. But before she could, he was up and running out of the room.

Susan took his place and worked to get her to lie down in the bed. "You two are cute together. I don't know many men that would stick around and help you through this." She meant opening his house and his heart to a woman in Kate's position.

"No, me neither." Kate still didn't think she deserved him but she couldn't stop her feelings for him any longer. She just wasn't sure they had much of a future.

"You're not going to give me an injection are you?" Kate could feel the need for one building quickly.

"No, but I do have something for you instead." Susan left her to mix the powder in water and feed her using the cup with a straw.

"That should help." Susan was just finishing when Rick came stumbling back into the bedroom a little out of breath. Susan retreated and gave him her space.

"I know you told me once that you wanted it to be the most thoughtful and beautiful moment in your life and hopefully you will think it is." Rick moved his hand out from behind his back to show her a little black box resting in his palm.

Kate stopped breathing when she saw it and as she watched, Rick got down on both knees next to the bed still holding the box.

"Katherine Houghton Beckett. If you would do me the honor of marrying me. I promise to be by your side and help you through all of this and anything else that comes in the future." He opened the box to show her what was inside.

All Kate saw was the ring and it looked huge to her. It was like nothing like she had ever seen before. It looked like a flower edged with diamonds that had one perfect round stone in the center. She could feel tears rolling down her face and her lips were quivering. This sometimes silly and thoughtful man wanted to marry her.

Kate didn't answer and they were interrupted when Martha showed up at the door. "You've got a delivery, Richard." In walked two men, each carrying a massive floral arrangement. It took a little time for the two of them to carry it all in but after they were done there were fourteen different types of huge floral arrangements scattered all over the room. Tables, chairs, even the floor.

Both of them could smell the flowers since the room was almost filled with them.

Susan was standing in the middle of the room surrounded by all of it. She was smiling broadly and was a little giddy. "Say yes, Kate, or I will." The R.N. saw that Rick was a keeper and if Kate didn't want him she could learn to love him.

"You don't have to say anything. We can wait until your hand is free so it can be on your finger." Rick placed the velvet box on the side table, still open. He leaned down to kiss her and felt her kissing him back and chase after his lips a little. "Go to sleep and get better." He stroked her hair and used a finger to wipe away some of her tears. "Sleep." He kissed her forehead and stood to leave.

Rick smiled at Susan on his way out and closed the door. He would be back, but he needed to make a call first.

Susan went over to Kate, making sure she was comfortable before taking her temperature. Satisfied with everything, she moved over to a chair filled with flowers and moved it to the floor.

Kate lay there staring at the ring. "Yes," she whispered.