A/N: Twilight belongs to SM!

I'm sorry for the long wait, but I've got my groove back, and I'm grateful for all the encouraging words you guys left me! Hope this was worth the wait, please r/r and leave some love!

Thank u to Misty!

JPOV

I shivered against her. My body was on fire with the kiss. Since all the tubing was out, I could move closer. I didn't care about the pain of my condition, only the feeling of her. It went on forever, as she snuggled closer, sighing in her throat.

Before it got out of hand, I pulled back. I might have been able to fight the pain of rubbing against her, but I knew sex was out of the question for a few days until my hips were back to good.

"Bella, don't do things based off of me. Please. I don't want to lose you."

She sighed, leaning back. "I just know you deserve a second chance at fatherhood if you ever get that far. With me, things stop right here. I'll never be able to have a baby. I don't want to go all the way with you and have it taken from me, because you realize you want a baby of your own, not adopted."

"I'd never do that to you."

"I believe you, Jasper. But emotions run high with our lives, and things may change."

I shook my head, refusing to think that she was trying to leave based on something that may never happen.

"If I couldn't have any babies, would you leave me?"

"Never!" She was adamant instantly, shaking her head hard. I smiled at her, giving her a light kiss.

"Then how come you assume I would like you."

"I'm not. I just don't think my heart could handle it. I was glad to be rid of Troy, but I would wither away without you."

I looked down, understanding just how deep her emotions ran. She really did love me. I was shocked. Someone like me was hard to love, yet she did it without any questions.

"Let's eat something, Jasper. Are you hungry?"

I nodded, even though I didn't want too. My stomach was growling, it was so empty. Not to mention was body was beginning to ache from the therapy they'd done on my arm.

I gave them props for the try though. I was gaining more feeling in certain places, and could actually move all 5 fingers. When I started I only had feeling in my thumb. Not bad for just a few days.

Bella caught my frown, pushing the nurse's button.

"You need something for the pain, Jasper."

"I'm fine." I didn't like how she watched me and knew what I was feeling all the time. She could read my face and emotions. I was used to hiding them from everyone including Rosalie. Yet, with her, it was impossible, even when I tried.

The nurse came in and Bella instructed her what I needed. At first I thought there would be a fight between the two.

"The nurses handle his medicine, Miss. Swan. He's not suppose to have anything for another hour."

I opened my mouth to say something when Bella jumped up.

"I'm telling you now, he needs something for the pain, either you give it too him, or I'll call his father."

The nurse just stared at Bella, as if she'd gone mad.

Neither made a move, just staring the other down. I didn't wait to see whether or not the nurse would do as told. I picked up the phone, and dialed dad's private beeper.

I left the code for him to come to me immediately, and within seconds he was there.

"What is the problem?" He walked in, watching what was happening between the two of them. When neither spoke, he moved towards me. "Jasper?"

"Bella thinks I need another shot and the nurse is refusing to give it to me, since it's not due for another hour."

He sighed, going over to my monitor. It only took him a few seconds of viewing the numbers before he turned around and looked at the nurse. His face was hard and I knew things were not going to be in her favor.

"Do as Bella instructed."

"But, Dr. Cullen, he's not due for another one for another hour."

"Did I ask for your opinion? I'm his fucking doctor. Do you understand that?"

She swallowed hard, before nodding. "Yes, sir."

"If you had a head on your shoulders, instead of arguing with her, you would have checked his numbers. It's not hard to see everything is elevated due to his pain. He just came out of therapy, and they told me he was beginning some new moves which would increase the swelling and pain. Have you read his paperwork from that today?"

Now she was bright red, and I had to hold back my laughter.

"No, sir."

"Then please explain to me why you took it upon yourself to decide whether or not to give him the extra shot?" He gave her five seconds before continuing. "If you had read his papers, you would have understood the need for another shot. But if for some reason, you did, and still didn't think he should have another one, you could have called me or another doctor."

"Yes, sir."

"Take a break, I think you need to get some fresh air. I'll get his shot. I'll have them rotate you off his rooster."

"But..."

"What? Is there something else you'd like to piss me off about? Another patient in pain before their allotted shot?"

Bella looked like she was about to swallow her tongue, as she held back from speaking. I had to cover my mouth with my hand not to laugh allow.

The nurse stood shell shocked, until his last bite, before fleeing. He sighed, before looking at us.

"Very good catch, Bella. His numbers are higher than I want. He needs to stay calm."

"I should have caught it sooner."

I frowned at the way she was blaming herself. "It wasn't your fault."

She gave me a look, and I shook my head. Dad watched us confused. "It's OK Bella. We caught it now, which is fine. I'll get his shot, have you two eaten yet?"

We shook our head at the same time, and he smiled. "Then order something. The shot will work better with food. Take a nap, Jasper. Those new therapy moves will wear you out faster than you think."

"When can I go home?"

Dad froze, watching me. "I'm not sure yet. Dr. Jared has high hopes for you, but I don't know whether or not I'd like you by yourself just yet."

I glared at my feet. Great, back on suicide watch. "I'm not going to off myself."

"How do you think you got here, Jasper?"

Everything came out before I could stop myself. "I was cutting myself, not trying to off myself! Didn't you notice the healing cuts? I was angry and I didn't think it through, OK? Do you think I'd kill myself in front of Bella, now? Really!"

Dad was floored and Bella looked like she was about to faint. Way to go Jasper, always the life of the fucking party. Great job.

BPOV

I understood his anger towards everyone watching him. After I got out of the hospital, Pops watched me constantly, always calling to make sure everything was OK. While I was in the hospital, those last few weeks, the staff would watch everything I did.

I couldn't take a bath, because I might have tried to drown myself. Wasn't allowed to shave my legs without something watching, in case I slit my wrists.

It was an evil feeling being watched like an animal. With Jasper's anger towards people after his wife and twins, making him feeling like a caged animal didn't help.

He had been doing wonderfully, and now he was back to square one.

I moved close to the end of his bed, pleading, "Jasper, no one is saying you'll kill yourself. We just want to make sure you're stable enough to send home, I can't care for you more than I already am. I'm not trained to be a nurse."

He relaxed, looking towards his dad.

Pops nodded, "She's right, Jasper. You need a few more days, and than you'll be able to go home. If Bella wants to go with you, than you might go home faster."

Jasper looked towards me, waiting. I smiled, "Of course, I'll go with you."

At once, Jasper relaxed. "Fine."

"Get something to eat, and I'll get your shot." He left without another word, and I did as he said. I called the cook and ordered for both of us.

Jasper was still upset, fidgeting in the bed. I went over, and got in beside him. At once he was calm, pulling me closer. I rested my head against his shoulder and sighed.

"Can I ask you a question?" He nodded instantly. "What is the scar on your neck from?"

His whole body seem to harden. I knew I shouldn't have asked, I should have waited until Dr. Jared was with us, to see whether or not it was right for me to ask this early.

But I was dying to know what had happen, especially if my father had seen him do it.

I was going to let it go, when he started talking.

"You're the first person I've ever talked with about it."

"You don't have to Jasper. I shouldn't have been nosy. It wasn't right, and it wasn't my place. Just forget it, OK? I don't want to hurt you anymore."

He shook his head, watching me. I was shocked when a faint smile appeared on his face. "I'm glad to talk about it, can you believe that? The good old Doc is rubbing off on me. She always said that when I felt like talking, just start talking, didn't matter to who. I'm glad it's you, Bella."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded, "Very. If we're going to be honest with one another, than I need to be open as well."

"You don't have too."

"I want too."

"Alright."

I relaxed and waited for him to talk. If he wanted to, he could. I wasn't going to force him or stay after it.

"After I found them," He swallowed twice, blinking back tears. My heart squeezed hard in my chest, making it hard to breathe. I was causing him more pain by bringing up the past than I should have. "I really had a hard time believing it, you know? I mean, walking in on something like that, it's unreal. You don't think it's possible. Kinda like a movie. You're waiting for someone to yell, 'cut', real loud. But when nothing happens, and it finally hits you that it's real, it's staggering."

He blinked, and I wiped away the tear in his eye. I earned a smile and kiss from him, making me melt. I held him closer, hoping to help with the memories.

"She did things to herself and to them, that make me shiver to this day. As messed up as I am, with cutting myself, I don't think I could go that far, you know? I mean...hell, I don't know how to say this. It's something you'd have to see to understand. But I don't want you ever to see that. Ever."

"I wouldn't do that to you."

He shook his head, "It's not me, Bella. I've come to live with the pictures in my head. They haunt me, but I'm not shocked by it anymore. I know what they look like, I was there. It's just a matter of surviving the movie that plays in my head. No matter how many times I see it, I will always want to change what happen. There are questions that I want to ask, that I need to ask, but I'm scared of what the answers will do to me."

"Then don't."

He laughed softly, "Baby, I wish it were that simple. But it isn't. They drive me crazy. Wanting to know."

"What?"

He went silent, and I kicked myself, once again opening my big mouth.

"Like were they alive when she killed them?"

My mouth fell open, I was in complete shock. I had assumed from what people had said that they were, and that they had died when she killed herself. But now... I had to wonder what exactly he had seen. How could she have killed them before herself?

It couldn't have been possible.

"I don't understand." I shook my head, because I wasn't lying. I didn't.

He smiled reassuringly at me. "She killed herself after she killed them, Bella."

"That's... I don't... how... what the..." I just sat with my mouth open like a fish. It was too much. How could anyone do that to their infant?

"I've always wanted a little boy, did you know that?"

His next question had me crying for him. He was staring straight ahead, eyes on the wall.

"That was the hardest thing about it. As pregnant as she was, we had wanted to wait to find out what they were. To make it a surprise."

"Couldn't they tell somehow, after wards?"

"I wouldn't let them do that to them." His eyes came back to me, cold from the memory. "She'd done enough to them already. I refused to let anyone else cut them up."

Cut them up?

I started breathing hard, by the pictures in my head. It had been building, too much, too soon. All at once I felt the black dots floating before me, as I gasped.

Jasper was speaking to me, but I couldn't understand him.

JPOV

I felt her go limp in my arms, and I knew I had spoke to much. But she had a right asking about my throat, and I couldn't talk about what I had done, unless I spoke about why I had done it.

I was beginning to feel nothing but hate towards Rosalie. She had been an evil person, sucking anything good from anyone around her, including me.

Days ago I blamed myself, and I still did, but I was beginning to understand that she had been at fault as well, more than me, it seemed.

Everyone had tried to lend a hand to her, tried to take care of her, helped when she wanted it. Yet she had refused, wanting to do everything by herself, so it was done the way she wanted. She kept people at a distance, to ensure no one would notice anything about her behavior changing, mainly me.

When it had happened, I will be honest, and say it blind sided me. I hadn't seen it coming at all. She had been happy about the baby, when she told me in the hospital. When we found out it was twins, she had been over the moon, as I was.

But when she had killed them the way she did, I knew she didn't have the ability to love, only to control. She had been able to control the way they died, and the way she died.

It was her ultimate display of power.

I know that was a hard one, but the next will be even worst!

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