A/N: Heya y'all! Last fic of the week! We made it! Sorry you've all sat through really stupid and cracky fics for the latter half of this week but that's what my heart was telling me to write. Important message to all the younger readers: Underage drinking is baaaaaad. Don't do it. Seriously. Illegal and bad for you. Still, hope you enjoy the shenanigans of Yang and Ozpin being the biggest morons in existence. C&C greatly appreciated.

Just a few shout-outs as well. I wanna thank leonardchurches on Tumblr for creating and organizing RWBYRSWeek. I wanna thank hanasaku-shijin on Tumblr (momoxtoshiro on FF) for continuing to be a huge inspiration. I wanna thank oldschoolvinny on Tumblr for being insanely supportive of all the participants for RWBYRSWeek and putting out massive fics every day of the week (including Day 7's 4k! fic). Super special awesome thanks, though, goes to Tears of Light on FF, who reads and reviews insane amounts of RWBY fanfiction. Thank you so much for supporting not just me but countless other fic writers. You have no idea how much it means to us. Bless you.

RWBY and its characters are owned by Monty Oum and RoosterTeeth.

Ozpin groaned and rubbed his temples as he looked over the report Glynda had given him. The damages and costs were through the roof. He had plenty of other problems and reckless students did not need to be stacked on top. Reaching under the desk, he took out his newly opened 'special' cream and topped off his mug of coffee with it. As he took a sip, he could feel himself relax a little. It felt good to take edge off a little.

What he hadn't counted on was a certain fiery blonde almost kicking down the door of his office. Almost jumping up from the sound, Ozpin quickly leaned back on his desk and cleared his throat. "Ah, Miss Xiao Long. Glad to see you could come on such short notice."

Yang was not pleased. Glynda had decided to pull her away from her team and lecture her and inform her that she must report to the headmaster immediately. Something about 'egregious amounts of personal property damage'. She had tried to weasel her way out but that Goodwitch was sharp as a knife and followed protocol to a T.

"Yeah, whatever," was her reply, as she plopped down in the seat across the desk from Ozpin, resting her legs on it. He opened his mouth to protest but decided against it. Instead, he passed Yang the documentation he had been handed less than an hour earlier.

"Mind explaining what happened here, exactly?" Ozpin reclined in his chair as Yang's lilac eyes rapidly flicked back and forth, examining the paper with intense scrutiny. There was complete silence in the room for a few seconds.

That was until Yang stood up and incinerated the paper. "I have no idea what you mean, sir," she said with a cheeky smile. Without any proof, there was no way they could get her in trouble for this. "Maybe if you had some proo—"

Yang stopped mid-sentence as a smug Ozpin waved another copy of the documentation, a grin sitting on his face to Yang's surprise. "I'm sorry Mis Xiao Long… Were you saying something?"

Yang clenched her fist and ground her teeth. So the old man wasn't as easy to fool as she had anticipated. However, she relaxed as she found her final move. It was his third strike as she scored a touchdown. I've sunk your battleship.

"Well, I've done nothing wrong," she protested, portraying herself as slightly shaken.

"Miss Xiao Long, it is illegal to break into someone's house as well as to destroy vast amounts of property. I don't think I have to explain this."

"Well, I'm a little fuzzy on some laws…" The pieces were in place and she had the ball. "I mean, isn't it also illegal for a headmaster to be drinking on duty?"

Ozpin tried to stop himself but he found himself staring at his big bottle of 'special' cream: a cream-based liqueur. He had forgotten to stow it away before the blonde had kicked her way into the room. And she was right; he really shouldn't be drinking during school hours. But he hadn't gotten this far in life by getting caught when breaking the rules.

"Yes it is, Miss Xiao Long. Your point?"

"Well, my dad drinks the same brand of liqueur as that bottle you are trying to hide behind your feet."

"Oh, well I'm terribly sorry to disappoint but that is simply what I carry my cream for my coffee in. I hate being wasteful, Miss Xiao Long." Ozpin liked the gumption of this girl; reminded him of a younger him. How odd I'd become the man I used to question.

"Prove it." The cheeky tone was now defiant although the smile remained on her face. He wasn't getting out of this that easily. "Drink it."

Ozpin raised a single eyebrow in response. "This is cream, Miss Xiao Long. I cannot simply—"

Yang gestured to the coffee machine on the wall. "If it is just cream, I'm sure the two of us could down it with coffee fast enough, right, headmaster?" Hook, line, and sinker. Bonus points. Lightning round.

"Okay."

Yang blinked in astonishment. "Wai-Wait, what?!"

Ozpin grabbed a spare mug and handed it to her as he walked over to the coffee machine. "I said okay, Miss Xiao Long. I told you it was cream and that's all it is. If you demand proof, then we shall prove it." He poured himself a new mug full of coffee and Yang one as well, before topping it off with the cream. "Drink up, Miss Xiao Long."

Four hours later, Ozpin regained consciousness and felt an incredible pounding in his head. He hadn't been this hungover since… The thought was interrupted when he realised he was in a tree. A very, very tall tree. The top of it, even. Well, not quite, he realized as he spotted a yellow motorcycle on the very top branch. Looking to his left, he spotted what he recognized as the source of this entire mess: an unconscious but still equally uncomfortable Yang Xiao Long. He groaned softly as he examined his options for getting down and covering up their tracks.

"I'm afraid that isn't exactly an option, sir."

Ozpin's groans grew louder as he recognized the voice while his and Miss Xiao Long's body became enveloped in a purple glow and they slowly descended the tree. Waiting for them at the bottom was a noticeably irritated Glynda Goodwitch.

"My apologies, Glynda."

Those piercing green eyes just continued to bore holes straight down into the depths of his soul. She took a shaky inhale before speaking in the calmest voice she could muster. "Just what happened with you and Miss Xiao Long? No drinking, I presume, as she is a minor…"

"Of course not!" Ozpin did his best to sound hurt at the remark. "She merely got into my special stache of coffee."

There was a moment of silence as Ozpin did his best to alleviate the feeling of those bright glimmering orbs staring down upon him with immense disapproval.

"Glynda, I've made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on this planet…"