A/N: Thank you so much for waiting for this installment. I have started a new job and my boss gave me my first real project with a very tight deadline. We are a sales company and he needed demographics for the entire region that includes all of Texas, Mississippi, Alabama and Florida. Texas alone took me two weeks…lol. We've put that project to bed, so now I have more time to focus on my true joy in life once again. I have finished up through chapter 20 and I'm wrapping my story lines together. Originally this was only to be about 30 chapters, but it may be more since I've have to cut the chapters differently that I planned.

I hope you enjoy this. As usual I own nothing but the mistakes.

Chapter 14

AJ sat in fully sterilized garb watching Lucy sleep. When harm had announed he was Lucy's marrow match everyone gathered breathed a collective sigh of relief. For the first time Lucy would have a chance at making it through the battle they had all fought for so long. Elation was the only word to describe the emotion of the friends and family in that waiting room except when applied to Harm and Mac, and that disturbed AJ. It disturbed him deeply, for the two who should be the most joyful, were very nearly sad.

AJ pondered that inconsistency until a gentle knock broke his concentration. A quick glance showed Lucy was sound asleep so AJ rose and quietly slipped from the room.

"Hi, AJ," Analise greeted with a warm smile. "How's the little one?"

"The same," AJ replied. "She gets her last high dose chemo in the morning and if all goes as planned, she'll get her transplant the next day."

"Great! They found a donor!"Analise beamed, honestly happy at the news.

"Didn't have to look far," AJ replied. "It's Harm."

"Harm? AJ, Harm is the last person that should donate bone marrow," Analise said in shock. "It's far too risky, they'll never let him do it."

"He's doing it, Ana," AJ confirmed. "Signed the papers and all. He's her last chance and he knows it. Besides donor risk is minimal."

"Not for someone with Harm's history," Ana countered. "He's prone to joint inflammation and infection since before I met him. Twice while we were dated he had problems with that and his blood pressure…its dangerous fo r him AJ. It could kill him."

"I'm sure the doctor's know his history and I'm sure…"

Ana spoke again, "Harm knows his risks, but he'd do it anyway. We're both parents, we'd do the same thing. I'm worried for Mac. This could be very rough. Lucy's health will be fragile, she'll be hospitalized at least 30 days for the graft to take and to prevent infection, Harm will at best need some recovery time, and the other two children will need their mother's security. Mac's going to be severly over worked."

"We've gotten then through rough spots before and we'll get them through again," AJ replied firmly. "I appreciate you letting me know about thie kind of chance Harm's taking."

"You can't help when you don't know you're needed, can you?" Ana sighed. "Keep me posted, okay? Let me know if there is anything I can do. Give them my best."

AJ smiled. If Harm and mac were not a perfect match with a long history AJ woul dhave court martialed Harm for letting Ana go. She wasn't only smart and pretty, but she was a truly sweet and honest person who cared about other people. That was sadly a very rare quality.

"I sure will," Aj said. Then, "Ana, Lucy is down for the count. Would you care for a cup of coffee?" he asked.

Ana smiled he face lighting up with genuine happiness, "I would," she agreed nodding her head. "Thank you."

Mac lay awake counting Harm's steady breaths as she lay curled into his side, her arm across his torso with his arm around her shoulders. It had been nearly a year since they had been intimate like this, and even longer since they'd both remembered sharing in the special way. Reglecting back on the previous hours Mac chastised herself for succumbing to the familiar pull of Harms' weyes and body when seeking comfort. He'd offered her woreds, soft whispers of reassurance and security when her sobs had woken him and drew him to her side, but she wanted more, needed more than words could provide. There were so many emotions warring within hier for precedence, Mac was unsure how she should feel.

Once Harm had taken her into his arms all of the old urges came back. Mac buried her face in his chest rubbing her cheek up and down while intermittenly placing butterfly kisses on the sensitive bare skin. The more Harm coaxed her to talk the more responsive Mac became with a voice unique to Harm's ears. When he validated her feeling of fear with understanding she clung to him peppering his flesh with urgent fevered kisses telling him clearly it was his loss she was afraid of at that point.

After returning Mac's passion more out of biological instinct than anything else, harm led her to the bed to join him in trying to sleep, reminding her she probably wouldn't be doing much of that for the next few days since he wouldn't be able to assist her in child care while he was being monitored. That provoked feelings of respect and admiration in mac which she conveyed with long exaggerated kisses while stroking Harm's back as one might do a to a show dog, her touch conveying love and pride, drastically different than her earlier despiration.

Somewhere between intense fear and overwhelming pride was the true source of Mac's feelings. There was no way she could feel emotions so deep without admitting they were fueld by love. When Matthew was born they admitted they never stopping loved each other but had struggled in rebuilding their relationship, both too scared to fully commit just yet. For Mac at least, that barrier was scaled whenHarm returned her affection with touches and kisses of his own leaving them as they wre now, naked, connected, and for the moment, emotionally satisfied.

Mac detected a change in Harm's breathing but didn't move. He knew she was awake though and he spoke quietly."Are you regretting this?"

"No," Mac said honestly. "It was beautiful as always. I'm not regretting it."

"That's what's wrong?" Harm asked. He knew her too well.

"I…We went backwards instead of forward," Mac sighed. "We…I didn't talk about what I felt, I…You had to pull it out of me and even then I didn't talk. I should have but I didn't."

"I'm just as guilty, Mac," Harm soothed. "I didn't exactly protest the thing. Besides that though, just because we have to communicate verbally doesn't mean we can't physcially. It is unilateral coummunciat that got us here in the first place."

"I'm just so scared that now that we've finally found each other again, I'm going to lose you. It's not fair. We already lost so much of our dreams and our plans," Mac sighed. "It's just not fair."

"Unfair would be if we lose our daughter," Harm corrected. "Or is something happened to Lucy or DJ. Everybody has challenges and hard times; this is one for these hard times. We can let it beat us and control us or we can use it it to heal our realtionship and make it strong that it's even been. If we don't take this chance for what it is worth, that would be incredibly unfair to everyone."

"I just want this whole thing over," Mac sighed snuggling closer. Harm tightened his arm around her and paced a tender kiss on her forehead. "Thirty six hours, honey."

"Thirty-four hours, nineteen minutes," Mac corrected laughing slightly feeling the tension drain from her body as she allowed herself to succumb to the pull of sleep.

Over the next few days Harm spent nearly every minute he could with Lucy, DJ, or Matthew. He knew it would be a while before he was able to be with his children in the manner he was accustomed to being with them. Mac had convinced him to explain the procedure to DJ and Lucy leaving our the risk to his health of course. Lucy wasn't able to acknowledge her father's words very much, the high dosage of chemo leaving her exhausted, but DJ understood his father's words and expressed excitement that only a preschooler would be able to muster in this situation.

The evening before the procedure, Harm was admitted to the hospital. Mac had visited with him for a while and saw to his comfort in the small bed but left to feed Matthew and relieve Harriet from sitting with Lucy. With Mac occupied, Harm called HQ and requested Mic stop by the hospital after he secured for the day.

Harm had though long and hard about his choice, but in the end he felt that Mic was far enough from the situation to objectively carry out his request without emotional pleas and disclosures. Mic's being the acting XO in Harm's stead was a plus. Just after supper time, Mic arrived at the hospital and greeted Harm.

"It's been awhile since I saw you in the postiion," Mic commented. "I hope it's worth it."

"It's worth it to know we tried if nothing else," Harm replied. "Mic, I asked you to come here because I need you to do some legal work for me. I need the utmost discretion and confidentiality. I do not want Mac, Bud, or anyone to know why you are here and what I asked of you unless it is necessary."

"Harm, I understandbeing in the hospital for anything is a drag but you aren't having brain surgery or something," Mic observed with a trademark Australian chuckle.

"I could, for me this procedure carries a lot of risk and I want to have things mapped out in case there are any problems or complications," Harm explained. "Let's get to work; I don't want Mac to know I'm even thinking of this."

What Harm did not know was at the same time Mac was having a conversation of her own with Harriet. When Harriet had seen Mac approaching Lucy's room she slipped out to speak with her friend about something that had been on her mind since Harm had made his announcment.

Mac smiled when Harriet met her at the door. "How's she doing?"

"We finished reading a book and now she's sleeping again," Harriet replied. "Mac, you have a minute?"

"Since she's sleeping, yeah, what's up?" Mac asked following Harriet to the waiting area.

"What don't we know?" Harriet asked bluntly once they were both seated.

Mac sighed, "I was wondering who'd catch on to this first. I should have guessed it would be another mother, another wife."

"I'm also you best friend," Harriet said firmly. "There is nothing you can't tell me and there is nothing that I'd ever, ever judge you for doing or not doing when it comes to your children. You know what is best and when it comes down to it, you make the right choices."

"Coming from you Harriet, that means more than you could possibly know," Mac smiled, tearfully. "There isn't a minute in this entire thing that I don't second guess myself about the choices I made since I got sick. I think, if I'd told Harm first we'd have trusted more, if I had the hysterectomy like I was told to maybe we could have saved our marriage, and maybe if we saved our marriage we might have noticed something was wrong before it was too late and the lives of two of the most important people in my world were left hanging in the balance. I always wonder about that Harriet."

Harriet set her arm around Mac's shoulders and let her friend cry a few moments before asking, "Two of the most important?" She raised her eyebrow.

"It's dangerous for Harm," Mac sighed. "That's why Dr. Thomas quit, because he insisted on donating even though it's risky. She wouldn't do the procedure and it's only with a lot of reservations that Dr. Jacobson is doing it."

"Dr. Jacobson is a good doctor and Harm is strong," Harriet comforted. "He might have had some problems, but he's recovered from them and is doing fine. I know it's scary, I still fret over Bud and his leg and things but it comes down to this, we can be mothers to our kids, we can't to our husbands. We have to trust their judgement. We can get in their faces, we can stand in front of them, but when it comes to things like this, to our children, we need to stand behind them. At least, when their right."

Mac laughed at that and wiped her eyes. "I feel better now that someone knows Harriet. Harm thinks everything is going to be fine and maybe it will be, but I feel a lot better knowing that someone besides me will be prepared in some way for what might happen tomorrow or in the next days."

Harriet nodded, "Harm's positive, he's also practical. I'm sure if he feels the need to address any of this, he will."

Harriet's words had comforted Mac's fears but she still found sleep difficult that night. Harm managed only by the aid or exhaustion and some light medication, but before he knew it, morning had come bringing with it what he'd waited for since hearing Lucy's diagnosis the past fall, his daughter's chance at life.

Next chapter: The procedure takes place while Mac gets advice from a stranger who has different view of things. We find out how Harm and Lucy have fared.