This chapter was edited and re-posted on 09/08/2012.

Becoming First Mate

What felt like hours went before Nettie finally deemed herself clean, she was shivering as she climbed onto the plank, glad that no one was around to see her without a shirt - probably sleeping off excessive amounts of rum or just waking up to find themselves in a strangers bed. Her clothes and hair was soaked, dripping onto the deck so much it sounded like heavy rain, and she smelled of salt. But it was the best she could do when she needed a very quick bath. Even if her wounds were stinging painfully now.

Jack was waiting for her at the top, and when she stopped a few feet away from him, she bowed her head, not wanting to meet his eye. She already regretting saying such a horrible thing to him. What was she thinking? He probably was going to punish her now.

A hand entered her vision, and she stiffened out of reflex. But the fingers simply touched the part of her arm where her scratches were, which was all now bright red after she practically scrubbed the area raw. "Nettie," Jack said, sounding worried. "My poor Nettie. Are you alright?"

"I'm sorry," Nettie mumbled, ignoring that question. She was never alright. "I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry."

"I know you didn't mean it," Jack said. "I know you, Nettie." He sighed. "I'm sorry that I tried to push you. I should know better then that."

"Um..."

Both Jack and Nettie snapped their heads towards the embarrassed voice. Will was standing in the trap door that lead to the lower deck, a flush across his face at the sight he had walked into - Jack touching Nettie in what looked like an intimate way when she had no shirt on.

But neither one cared about that.

Instantly, Nettie flinched at the sight of Will, and without a second glance at him or her captain raced back into her current room, slamming the door behind her. Yanking the blanket off her bed, she wrapped it around herself and plopped down, sitting against the wall. As far away from the door as possible.

As far away from Will as possible.

"Is Nettie alright?" she heard Will ask.

"No. No she's not," Jack answered simply. "I'll see if I can talk to her."

"We have to meet Gibbs soon," Will reminded him.

"Aye, I remember." A few footsteps later, and there was knocking on the door. "Nettie?" Jack called out. "I'm coming in."

The door opened, and light poured in, illuminating Jack as he stood in the doorway. He looked around briefly before he found her, sighed when he did. But he closed the door behind him, and before Nettie knew it, was sitting by her side; not touching her, but close enough that she could feel his warmth.

"He's not angry with you, Nettie," Jack finally said after a few minutes of silence. "He's not even scared."

Nettie snorted, though it sounded more like a teary sniff. "I doubt that," she muttered. "How could he not be scared of a monster like me?" She pulled the blankets around her, like a cocoon. "I almost killed him."

"But you didn't."

"I almost did though!" Nettie said, her voice cracking as it went an octave higher. She buried her head in drawn up knee's. "I can still feel my hands around his neck, Jack." she said softly. "I can still feel my joy, my disgusting joy."

"And none of it was real, deary. You know that," Jack reminded her.

"Then why does it feel so real?" Nettie asked quietly.

It was something that Jack had no answer for. Lifting her head, Nettie let it rest against the wall, so she could stare at the ceiling. But suddenly she laughed, making Jack jumped slightly. "I think I must likes it!" she said, almost giddy. "Why else would I do it?" She looked at Jack with wide, tear filled eyes that didn't match her wide smile. "What do you think, Jackie? Mm?"

"Nettie..."

"I know, I know," Nettie went on with something that was between a sob and a laugh. "But I can't help it! I'm just so - I don't know what I am," she said with another choked sob, a tear running down her cheek and hitting the blanket that covered her.

"You are Nettie. My Nettie. And that's all that matters, love."

A long minute passed before Nettie spoke again. "... Is Will alright, then?"

"If anything, my love, he's worried." Jack shifted a little closer, waiting for a moment to see if it was alright before he went on. "He's worried about you. Took me a bit to stop him from barging in here and bother you while you were sleeping."

That sounded like a lie to her, but Nettie could never be quite sure with Jack. He could be lying and sound like he was telling the truth, or tell the truth and sound like he was lying. And besides, why would he lie to her?

"... Did I hurt him badly?" Nettie asked after a long minute, ignoring the potential lie. She couldn't remember much besides her hands...

"That's something you'll have to ask him yourself." It was silent for a few more minutes before Jack finally looked to her, his brown eyes filled with concern. "Are you alright, then?"

Shrugging, Nettie looked to the floor and at her toes, which were poking out from underneath the blankets. "When have I ever been alright?" she muttered, just loud enough that it took Jack a moment to understand.

Frowning, Jack did the best thing he could do at the moment. He wrapped his arm around Nettie's shoulders and pulled her closer to him. Out of reflex more then anything, Nettie rested her head on his shoulder and let on of her hands out of the blankets so she could cling to her captain. She sniffled, blinking back the rest of the tears that wanted to roll down her cheeks. She hadn't done this in awhile, and Nettie suddenly felt much younger.

Minutes later, Nettie squirmed in embarrassment when Jack - clearly not caring about being embarrassed - gave her a peck on the top of her head. He chuckled kindly before asking, "Better?"

In response, Nettie shrugged. She wasn't really sure.

"Ready to talk with young William, then?"

At that, Nettie paled and shook her head. "No," she said tried to say firmly, but instead it came out rather weakly.

"You know you can't avoid him forever, Nettie, dear," Jack said with a sigh.

"A little longer would be nice though," Nettie muttered.

"Nettie..."

"Please, don't force me, Jack." Nettie looked up at him, her silver-blue eyes pleading. "Please?"

"I won't unless I have to, love," Jack said truthfully. "But you do need to talk to him, savvy?"

"Savvy," Nettie repeated.

"Jack! Gibbs is down here at the docks!" both Jack and Nettie heard Will call out.

"Coming!" Jack shouted back. He stood, stretching out with a wince. It was these moments Nettie remembered that he was much older then her, though she wasn't sure by how much. Jack seemed determined never to tell her his real age, despite how many times she guessed. Said captain looked down at her. "Coming, love?" he asked, holding out a hand.

"...Alright." Taking his hand, Nettie let herself be hauled to her feet, the blanket falling off her and pulling around her feet. "I guess its best that I meet your crew, aye?"

"Our crew," corrected Jack, "First-mate Nettie."

Quick as lightning, Nettie drew back her hand. "I'm not your first-mate, Jack," she said with a shake of her head. "You know that."

"But -"

"I won't be pirate, Jack." Nettie looked away. "I won't."

"Love -"

"I'll meet you on deck, Jack." Turning away, Nettie started going through the trunk that was in the room, looking for something to wear and ignoring her captain. Jack gave her a sad look before he left without a word, leaving her to change.

When Nettie was sure that Jack was gone, she let go of her bottom lip, which she had bit harshly in order to keep quiet. "I'm sorry, Jack," she whispered. "But I just can't."

"Feast your eyes, Cap'n! All of them, faithful hands before the mast, every man worth his salt." Gibbs looked to him with a grin. "And crazy to boot." he said, leaning in to whisper the last part.

Jack looked over the row of men in front of him. There were a variety of men there - old men, dirty men, boys, even a midget, but no one that looked like they'd be half-decent at crewing a ship.

'Well, appearances can be deceiving,' thought Jack, and he couldn't help but glance at his Nettie, who was sitting at the edge of the dock. There hadn't been any clothes in the captains quarters that fit her, so she had been forced to wear something else - something she found in the cargo of the ship - until she could go into town and get more clothes.

A dress.

Even after traveling with her for a little more then four years, Jack had never seen Nettie in a dress. Even with her hair falling around her face instead of the usual pulled up style that most woman wore, she still rather looked lovely. It was a bright blue dress that was trimmed with gold, both colors went well with her inky hair. Jack couldn't stop glancing at her, and he almost growled when he noticed some of the other men - including Will - glancing at her as well, even staring!

Of course, Nettie didn't notice the attention she was getting. She was picking at the sleeves, making sure not to look at Will or Jack. Sometimes, she would kick at the water with her bare feet and mumble to herself. Once, Jack thought heard her mutter to herself about 'ripping the dress apart', but wasn't quite sure.

"Cap'n?" Gibbs waved a hand in front of his face. "Jack?"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Jack waved the hand away. "Please do not disturb me, Mr. Gibbs, while I look at these gentlemen," he said with a nod as he went back to looking at the men. Turning on his heel, he marched down the line, looking each of them carefully.

"So this is your able-bodied crew?" asked Will with a raised eyebrow. He was trying to look smug, standing tall with his arms crossed. He was failing through, each time he chanced a glance at Nettie, and he got a strange look on his face.

Resisting the urge to jump Will - how dare he look at his Nettie - he turned to one of the men, an older men with a blue parrot on his shoulder. "You, sailor!"

"Cotton, sir," Gibbs supplied.

"Mr. Cotton," Jack leaned forward, "do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?" he asked with a slur.

There was silence, and Jack frowned. "Mr. Cotton!" he shouted. Maybe the man didn't hear him? "Answer, man!"

"He's a mute, sir," Gibbs interjected. "Poor devil had his tongue cut out." Cotton opened his mouth to affirm this fact, and Jack winced slightly, running his own tongue across his teeth, just to make sure it was there. "So he trained the parrot to talk for him." He frowned. "No one's yet figured how."

A little embarrassed, Jack turned to the bird. "Mr. Cotton's... err... parrot. Same question."

The bird gave a very loud squawk. "Wind in the sails, wind in the sails!" it screeched.

Jack gave Gibbs a questioning look.

"We figure that means yes," said the older man with a shrug.

"Of course it does." With a smirk, Jack turned back to Will. "Satisfied?"

Will shrugged. "Well, you've proven they're mad."

"And what's the benefit for us?" a heavily accented, rather high voice called from the dock's end.

At that familiar voice, Jack gave a tiny start. Even Nettie looked up from the water, looking at the crew carefully now. With a frown, he started down the line, marching slowly and carefully till he reached the end of the line, standing in front of a young boy. Or someone who looked like one.

Lifting a hand, he took the brim of hat and slowly lifted the hat off. His frown turned into a smirk as he watched long, dark brown hair fall out and tumble down the back of the sailor, who gave him a glare that could rival his Nettie's and with a scowl that spelled trouble for him. "Anamaria," he said, smiling at the dark-skinned woman in front of him.

'SLAP!'

With wides eyes, Jack felt his head snap to the side, and one of his hands went to his cheek as it started to throb painfully. He bit back a curse. Really, how many times was he going to get slapped in Tortuga? Was everyone he meet going to slap him for something?

"Let me guess, I suppose you didn't deserve that one either," Will said in a tone that Jack didn't like, it sounded far too amused.

"No," snapped out Jack - he was really getting tired of this kid. "That one I deserved."

"Anamaria!" With a large smile that Jack hadn't seen in awhile, Nettie raced passed him, a blue and black blur with arms held out wide in greeting. Surprising to everyone except Jack, Anamaria - who had just slapped Captain Jack Sparrow - held out her own arms, and let the young girl almost tackle her to the ground before wrapping her arms around her.

"Hello, little Nettie," said Anamaria sweetly, stroking the hair of them smaller girl, who's was a head shorter then her. "How are you, deary?"

Still smiling - how could that she-devil do what he couldn't - Nettie gave a small shrug. "Alright, I guess. What about you? What are you doing here? I didn't know you had returned to Tortuga. "

"Just for some business." Anamaria loosened her grip on the younger girl, just slightly, and turned towards Jack, her eyes hard again and the scowl on her face returning. "I' because of you. You bloody bastard! You stole my boat!" she snapped.

"Well, actually," Jack started, but he didn't get very far before he was slapped again, his head snapping to the side again. Watching Anamaria with, eyes wide, he began slurring excuses frantically. "Borrowed - borrowed without permission, but with every intention of returning it to you!"

"But you didn't!" Anamaria screeched. "What happened to my boat?"

At that, Nettie winced. "Um, Ana?" When the older woman looked down at her, she squirmed. "It kind of ... sank."

Anamaria's eyes narrowed. "Sank?" she asked, her voice going a pitch higher. "Sank?"

"It wasn't Jack's fault though," Nettie said before Anamaria could slap him again. "It was an old boat, Ana, remember that."

"So... you stole my boat, and then you sank it?" said Anamaria, her volume increasing with every word as she got ready to slap him again.

"You'll get another one!" Jack said frantically, trying not to get slapped again.

"Yes, I will!" Anamaria did not look happy, even with her arms wrapped around Nettie.

"A better one," Will interjected.

"A better one!" Jack repeated, forgetting for a moment that Will was not one of his favorite people.

"That one," said Will, pointing out to the docks.

"What one? That one?" Jack said with shock. Will was pointing towards the Interceptor, the ship had worked so hard to steal! He started to protest, but a look from his Nettie silenced that instantly. He huffed before smiling brightly. "Aye, that one!" he said with forced cheerfulness. "What say ye?"

After a long moment of thought, Anamaria grinned. "Aye!"

"Aye!" repeated the crew, cheering.

"Anchors away!" squawked the parrot.

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no," Gibbs turned to Jack, a pleading look on his face, "'tis frightful bad luck to have a woman on board! We can't be bringing her on the ship!"

"Oh really?"

Behind Gibbs, two women crossed their arms in sync, angry looks on their face. Jack tried not to laugh as Gibbs turned and paled. Really, he had brought this on himself. "And so what are you going to do with us on board, mm, Master Gibbs?" asked Anamaria.

"I do hope he figures it out," said Nettie crossly. "I hate to have to kick him off just because he doesn't like women." She said this as she grasped at her favorite knife.

Chuckling now, Jack clapped Gibbs' shoulder. "It'd be far worse not to have 'em," the pirate told him before walking off, leaving Gibbs to two angry women. He knew they wouldn't hurt his former first mate - but sometimes it was fun to see him squirm.

It wasn't much later that Nettie and Anamaria came back on board, talking to each other in hushed tones. The two had meet more then once before - the older woman had sailed with Jack before, and the two woman became quick friends. She hadn't liked the idea of stealing Anamaria's boat, but of course, she couldn't really questioning her captain.

'Even though she's officially my first-mate,' Jack thought to himself. He frowned as he remembered his Nettie's reaction to being his first-mate. He'd have to talk to her about that later. When Anamaria wasn't around. He winced at a long forgotten memory. She tended to be very protective of Nettie, even though she knew almost none of her history. Not like he did.

"Oh, thank you, Ana!" said Nettie suddenly, drawing Jack's attention again. She was grinning happily as she hugged a shirt and trousers to her chest. "I'll go change into them now." Then she raced passed Jack, not even glancing at him, and into the captains quarters.

After realizing what just happened, Jack groaned. He had liked Nettie in the dress.

"Jack."

Turning to the voice, Jack almost winced again when he saw a glaring Anamaria. "Yes?" he said slowly, waiting for the slap that he knew would come.

"What have you done to Nettie?" asked Anamaria, surprisingly calm.

That caused Jack to blink, that wasn't what he expected to hear. "What are you talking about?"

"You heard me, Sparrow," growled Anamaria lowly. "I know that I haven't seen Nettie in awhile, but there's something about her that's changed. So what did you do to her?"

Now that Jack thought about it, the last time Nettie had acted like that was before she meet Anamaria. She had become Nettie by then. It had taken a lot of work for Nettie to change, and now that it had come back, it might take a lot of work to make it all go away again. At it was his fault.

Even though he didn't like to admit, this was his he fault. He had brought Nettie back to Tortuga, where Jack knew she hated to be. It brought back too many memories. Then he had tried to comfort her, and it had backfired when he told her that she'd be his first-mate. Jack still had no idea why. He's have to talk with her about that.

If he were alone, Jack would have groaned at that very thought, but instead, he gave Anamaria a shake of the head. "I don't know what's wrong with her," he lied smoothly. "She seems fine to me."

When Anamaria narrowed her eyes, Jack could instantly tell that she didn't believe him. But she gave a small shrug. "Fine. But, if there is something wrong, you better damn well fix it," she growled again, poking sharply in the chest before marching off.

Sighing, Jack ran a hand over his face. He knew that alright. The problem was, how did he fix it?

A little while later, as the crew was gathering their things and getting ready to set sail, Jack opened the door to the captains room. Inside, Nettie jumped, her hands still at the buttons that would hide her neck from view, but when she realized who it was, she relaxed. "Jack," she said simply. Her dressed was tossed to the side, and Jack felt a little sad that she had taken it off.

Closing the door, Jack took a deep breath. "We need to talk, my Nettie."

"We talked earlier," replied Nettie as she sat on the bed, pulling on her boots. "And I said I would talk to Will when I was ready."

"But now we need to talk about something else." Jack took a step forward, but didn't get to much closer. "Like why don't you want to be my first-mate?"

At this, Nettie stiffened. "I don't want to talk about this either," she said firmly before yanking up her boot and standing. But she didn't get very far before Jack grabbed her, his large hand wrapping around his tiny wrist. She winced, and tried pulled her arm away. "Not this again," she tired to say harshly, but it came out in a whimper. "Please."

"You just can't avoid things you don't like, Nettie," Jack told her. "It won't work for very long."

"It's been working till now though," Nettie whispered. "Please, Jack, just let me go."

"No. Not till you give me a reason."

"Let me go!"

"No."

"Jack -"

"A reason, Nettie," Jack pushed.

Emotion crossed Nettie's face - anger. "You don't remember why?"

Jack looked confused. "Why would I ask if I did."

At that, Nettie head snapped back, and hurt surged with even more anger. "Bastard!" She slapped Jack, so hard that his head snapped to the side, but he didn't let go of her wrist. He looked to her, ignoring his stinging cheek, and was surprised to see her eyes glassy.

"Nettie -"

"Fine," Nettie finally snapped. "You want me to remind you why?" she snarled as she tried to pull away again. "Pirates! You want me to work with damn pirates!" The hurt and pain became worse, and tears ran down her cheeks. "You know - I can't - I just can't! What I am now is because of pirates! They kidnapped me, they sold me! They took me away from Nathan and my parents! They took away my life!" she finally shouted. "I-I hate them!"

He knew all that, but he hadn't remembered it. Even though he had just been talking to Will about it last night.

"I've stayed with you because I promised, and I'm friends with Anamaria even though I never thought I could, but don't ask me to do anymore, Jack." Nettie shook head. "I'm a thief, not a pirate. I don't kill for money, only for self defense. I don't steal cause I want to, only because I need to." She looked away from him, and used her free hand to rub her tears away. "Please don't ask me to become what I hate." Nettie - his poor, crying Nettie - forced out tearfully.

How could she forget that she hated pirates so much. Jack was sure that if that had never happened, she would have never stayed with him, even if he was one of the better pirates. She would have continued to avoid, or at least try and avoid, them the rest of her life. Of course, who know what could have happened to his Nettie if he hadn't come. She might have been in a far worse situation.

One where her eyes were blank and empty again.

"Oh, my Nettie." Jack grasped at her other wrist, not to hold her back, but so he could rub his thumbs over the top of her wrists in a comforting way. "I don't want that. And you won't have to be like a normal pirate. I only want you to kill if you need to, I would never want you to stain your lovely hands," he brought a hand up so he could kiss it briefly, "for something like gold. And if you don't want gold, you don't have to have it. The last thing I want you to become is something you hate."

"Then why do you want me as your first-mate if I'm not a normal pirate?" asked Nettie, her cheeks dusted pink from the kiss even while her red eyes showed confusion.

"Because of one simply reason." Jack smiled down at her. "I trust you, my Nettie. I know you'll listen to me, listen to the crew, and order them for me, or on your own, without being cruel. That if something was to happen to me, you would make sure every man and woman would be taken care of."

"Your asking me for a lot," murmured Nettie.

"Could you handle it?" asked Jack carefully.

"I - I don't know." Biting her lip, the young girl - sometimes he forgot how young she was - took a long minute to think. Jack waited in silence, still rubbing the top of her wrists, not wanting to rush Nettie into a decision that she might later regret. But at the same time, he just didn't think he could wait. The thought of have his Nettie beside him as they stood at the ships wheel was all too inviting.

"I-I'll try," Nettie finally forced. "Just least for a little while," she said hurriedly before Jack could get too happy. "Just to see what happens."

Grinning like the cat that caught the canary, Jack pressed a quick kiss to the top of his Nettie's head. "Thank you," he whispered. Then he let go of her wrist only to intertwine one of his hands with hers. "Shall we go meet our new crew, mm?"

Blushing again, Nettie muttered to herself, "Bastard. How do I get in these situations?"

"It's what happens when your in the company of one Captain Jack Sparrow," the said pirate said as he flashed her a smile.

Groaning, Nettie shook her head. "I should have ran when I had the chance."

"Oi!"

Laughing, Nettie freed herself from Jack's grip and left the captain's quarters, probably to see Anamaria again. Leaving Jack alone. He glanced at his now empty hand. It felt strangely cold. Still, he shook away the feeling - no matter how hard it was - and walked out to give his new crew their first orders.