The Fortune of Sakura of the (Regular-Color)Sand
A/N: There's now a poll on my profile concerning the rating; please go check it out!
Regardless of how the poll ends, THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M for more sexual humor. Nothing worse than the previous chapter. I'm a perv. (Don't let this affect your vote, however. I can write fluff as well as the next girl.)
I really regret not watching the episodes of Shippuuden with Sasori in them before writing his chapter. It would have helped tremendously. (All I remember of him from the manga is that he and Sakura fight for about nine million chapters without any conclusion in sight.) And oh my god. His parents! I don't usually cry during deaths in anime, but I bawled.
— —
It was a very life-like representation, Yukari mused as they began the next day. He's really got a talent when it comes to-
All right, that's information enough from you, Sakura muttered, opening her eyes. Her husband for the day was tan, dark, and handsome, with muscular features and chocolate-brown hair. Sakura smiled. Quite a catch...
Aren't you in the least bit concerned that you don't recognize him? Yukari asked.
Well, I would have been, but the last person that I recognized off the bat was Ino... it usually doesn't end up well for me. On the other hand, I didn't recognize Shino or Sasori, and they turned out fine, so I'm not going to stress about it.
I have the guidebook, if you'd like to know- Yukari said as Sakura leaned over to kiss her sleeping husband.
Psh, guidebook. As long as he's not a puppet, I'm fine with whoever this is. Her lips brushed against his forehead, and she pulled back suddenly.
Something wrong?
His skin... feels...
Dead and puppet-like? Yukari cackled.
No... like... Sakura leaned over once more to kiss him, brushing her hands against his cheeks as she did so. Sure enough, the skin began to crumble.
"Sand...?" she whispered, brushing the grainy substance away. Her hands hit against something more solid, like wood. She was about to unearth whatever it was when she heard the all-too-familiar clicking of puppet joints and four unnaturally long and thin arms wrapped around her, pinning her to the grinning, sandy puppet she had originally mistaken for a handsome man.
Yukari, I HATE puppet masters, Sakura growled to her guide as the puppet picked her up began to make its way out of the bedroom. She struggled, but it was more of a token gesture; escaping from an enemy who can't feel pain was all but impossible.
Can I tell you who it is, now? Yukari asked.
Yes, fine, sighed Sakura, giving up on escaping from her husband's little toy.
Kankuro. You know, your first guy's brother.
And I thought Gaara was the only creep in their family. What happened to Nat?
Who?
The woman he was married to back when Gaara and I were together. Remember? They had a bunch of kids and they'd been dating since they were twelve or something obscene like that.
Oh, her. Nah, they broke up years ago.
But... The puppet tried to carry her through a partially-opened door and banged her thigh against the doorframe. "Ouch!"
Kankuro, or at least the man the puppet had been imitating, stood next to the door, smiling. "Oh, sorry, Sakura." He flicked his wrist and the puppet set her down and flew over to a chair in the corner to sit. "Just thought I would be a little different today." He grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss, but Sakura wasn't having any of it. She pushed him away and took a deep breath, preparing to harangue him.
"Different! Are you crazy?"
"I thought you like surprises," Kankuro said along with Yukari.
"In what universe is that a romantic surprise?!" Sakura shrieked.
"Crow loves you, Sakura," her husband crooned, apparently trying to be seductive.
"Oh, really? The puppet loves me?" Sakura evaded Kankuro as he tried to wrap his arm around her again. "Have you been taking your pills like we talked about?"
But he's not on any pills, Yukari said uncertainly.
It was sarcasm, Yukari. You're not the only one who's capable of it, you know.
"Don't be mean to Crow, Sakura, he's saved my life many, many times. And, well... you know what I want for our anniversary, my dear flower..." Kankuro winked at her, and Sakura felt a distinctive sinking feeling.
Yukari? What does Kankuro want for our anniversary?
Well... Yukari burst into hysterical laughter. He, uh... hahaha, oh, wow, Sakura you sure can pick 'em.
Your potion picks them! Sakura snapped once again. And spit it out already!
Hmm... What's the best way to word this for your sensitive little ears? Yukari thought wickedly. He'd like... well, for–
Yukari... Sakura thought testily.
He was hoping that Crow over there could get in on some of the bedroom action.
WHAT? Sakura gagged inwardly. He wants– What the hell is wrong with him?
Puppet masters are kinky, what can I say?
Sakura shook her head violently to clear out images Yukari had planted there and focused on Kankuro once more. "How about a box of chocolates or something?"
"Please? It's perfectly safe; I can take all the weapons out of him in no time-,"
"No wonder Nat left you," Sakura said. Kankuro looked at her blankly.
"Who?"
Sakura, that was years ago, I doubt he still remembers her.
He had six kids with her!
Different reality; I'd like to point out that you've also been married to his brother... as well as Sasuke's brother, two of Sasuke's brother's friends, your teacher, your teacher's rival, your teacher's rival's student, your best girl friend, and the rest of the world.
You shut up.
That's what a psychic guide does. Helps you with your options for the future.
Help? By going for snack cakes without telling me? Sakura thought sarcastically.
"So," Kankuro got sick of waiting for an answer to his question and decided to simply change the subject. "Wanna run down to the market and get some food?"
— —
When Sakura pictured a desert marketplace, the word bazaar was always what came to mind. Everyone knew that desert towns didn't have proper street vendors like they had in Konoha; they had odd open stalls, hung with sandy cloth to keep out the sun, they sold all kinds of exotic (and sometimes disgusting) goods, they were crowded, filled with people from all parts of the world, all haggling and shouting in different languages. It was a dangerous, exciting, foreign place. Granted, Sakura had never been to a desert marketplace... but she knew. That was simply How It Was.
So she was mildly disappointed by the tameness of the open-air market Kankuro lead her to for fresh fruit. Yes, it was very sandy, as per her imagination, and yes, the people were dressed differently from a Konoha citizen, but for the most part they wore the standard desert garb; a long dark robe and a beige wrap. It was no more crowded than a typical morning in Konoha, and she didn't hear one foreign tongue haggling. Not so much as an accent. Granted, there were a few camels for sale, and some of the foods would have been considered exotic in Konoha, but the stalls were not exactly teeming with strange and wondrous riches from the furthest corners of the earth.
Well, duh, Sakura. This is a shinobi village, not a merchant city. With the security you have to go through to get here, not to mention it's purposefully located in a difficult-to-reach area, it's simply not a conductive location for a trading center. There are plenty of port towns along Wind's coast; if you want shopping, try one of them.
Wow... you sure know a lot about this stuff.
I own a traveling fortuneteller's hut, darling. This kind of info is my bread and butter.
It's just weird to hear you sounding smart, I guess.
Excuse me?
"Sakura, do these oranges look ripe to you?"
Sakura picked up an orange from the cart Kankuro was standing over. "Yeah, I'd say so..."
"Oh, good... let's pick up about four, and then..." Kankuro stopped mid-sentence and turned the next cart. "Is it fig season already?" he gasped, picking up one of the delicate little fruits. "Awesome! Here, let's get half a pound of these and some lamb and we'll have something cheap, easy, and fresh for dinner."
Figs? Lamb? Cheap and easy? Sakura thought to Yukari. Does he have any idea how much lamb costs? And I've never even SEEN a fresh fig before, a whole half-pound of them must be...
Sakura, you're in a completely different region; lamb and figs are easier to come by than a lot of other foods.
Oh... yeah. Still!
"I don't know the first thing about cooking with figs," Sakura said. "I do rice balls."
Kankuro laughed and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her close to him. "I know, I know... you're such a Leaf..."
"But I can't just whip up something with lamb-,"
"Sakura, Sakura, Sakura," Kankuro kissed her, and it only took a second for Sakura to get over the embarrassment of this public display of affection. "No matter how many times you ask, I'm not going to teach you, because I absolutely will not have you slaving away over a hot stove every night."
Kankuro cooks, Yukari explained.
Really? Sakura asked.
"You stick to your special occasion hamburgers," he said, tweaking her nose a little as he released her. "I'll never be able to make them as well as you, anyway."
Hell, Yukari, a guy who likes to make lamb for me... maybe it's worth gettin' it on with the puppet.
I'd say. Any sure-fire singles ad has the phrases 'tall, dark, and handsome' and 'enjoys cooking for two'.
Sakura smiled. "All right... I can live with that. We should pick up some bread while we're out here."
"Always, dear."
— —
It was not such a bad life, Sakura thought to herself as she and Kankuro sat on their roof, peeling oranges for each other and munching on freshly-baked bread. She could overlook the puppet kink... it wasn't like she ever actually agreed to do it or anything.
"Hmm... Sakura, I'm so lucky to have you," Kankuro whispered as he popped an orange section into her mouth. "I remember, when... after that attack, when I was in the hospital, I could barely stay conscious, and all I could think was that I had failed, that Gaara was going to die, and I was going to die, and Temari wouldn't even be home until it was too late... I was so miserable... but you showed up. I hardly remember, just that there was this compelling, reassuring presence... and pain, but I knew I was going to be alright... and then you brought Gaara back to us, as well."
Yukari? Sakura inquired as Kankuro gazed at her, his dark eyes distant but somehow looking straight at her.
You two hooked up after some Akatsuki attacked Sand and snagged Gaara, and they needed to send in reinforcements from Leaf. Kankuro here got hurt and you patched him up.
Oh... well, that makes sense.
"I thought that I wasn't going to live long enough to say goodbye to my sister... I never thought that I'd be alive to sit on the roof on nice mornings and have breakfast with an angel like you."
Sakura blushed. "Angel is definitely one I don't hear much."
Kankuro smiled at her; Kankuro smiled almost constantly. Not like Sai, who smiled like it was a painful duty, but because he was always amused by something. "You're not the sweet, innocent, motherly angel most people want. You're my kind of angel... the kind who sweeps in and yells at you and then fixes your mess and hugs you."
Sakura smiled back at him as he placed his hand over hers against the ceiling ledge they were using as a table. "Oh, Kankuro... I love you, too. I'm not going to have sex with your puppet for you-," Kankuro's face fell, confirming Sakura's suspicion that his little heartfelt confession had an ulterior purpose. "But I still love you."
"Aw, come on, Sakura, it'll be good, I promise."
Tell him he needs to get to work, Yukari said.
"Shouldn't you be going to work right about now?" Sakura asked.
"I almost forgot..." Kankuro smiled and began to clean up the remnants of breakfast. "I'd be fired in a minute if I didn't have you..."
Yukari, what does Kankuro do?
Gaara got him a cushy government job on the Suna board.
"I'll leave you and Crow alone to get to know each other better," Kankuro said slyly, climbing down the ladder that lead back into their house.
"Like hell you are!" Sakura snapped, following him. "I'm going with you!"
You do realize that Crow's not going to move without Kankuro around, right?
I don't care, Sakura informed her, grabbing her purse off the hall rack.
— —
"Well, look who decided to show up to work today," a young Sand ninja quipped to his partner as Kankuro and Sakura through the hallway of the Kazekage's office.
"And look who decided to show up with him," the other one smirked, growling suggestively at Sakura. Kankuro twitched his arm protectively, but Sakura held him back before he could make an actual movement.
"What's your name, tiger?" she asked the offender, wrapping an arm around his neck and smiling wickedly at him.
"Uh... Jirou, Miss," he stammered, not sure if he was incredibly lucky, or just the opposite. He kept eyeing Kankuro apprehensively. Sakura used her free arm to turn his head so he was looking at her.
"Ah, Jirou... Did you know that I'm a medic? I have a very advanced knowledge of the human anatomy..." The young man looked at her, uncertain of where she was going with this, but hopeful. Sakura lowered her voice to a growl. "And that means that I know how to pluck your eyes right out of your head before you can so much as twitch. And, Jirou, that's not the only thing that I know how to hurt. So no more hitting on married women now, mmkay?"
"O-okay, Ma'am."
Sakura patted his cheek and released him. "See you boys around."
Kankuro was grinning as he kissed her on the cheek and led her down the hall. Behind them, Sakura could hear Jirou's friend laughing at him.
Kankuro stopped at a pair of heavy wooden doors and pulled them open to reveal a meeting already in progress. A round table full of serious-looking men turned to face them.
"Oh, look who decided to show up," Gaara, decked out in his official Kazekage robes, drawled. Kankuro smiled bashfully as he took the one remaining seat.
"Sorry I'm so late, guys-,"
"No you're not," a man Sakura almost recognized interrupted him.
Yukari?
His name's Baki, he's Kankuro's old teacher... Gaara has also set him up with a cushy government job... man, talk about nepotism.
"Now shut up," Baki continued. Sakura noticed that Gaara's lips twitched like he was biting back a grin. "We're trying to run a village here. Kazekage-sama, you were saying?"
Gaara nodded once and picked up the paper in front of him. "We were discussing changing the curriculum of the academy to include basic medical jutsu, so that more-," Gaara suddenly looked up and noticed that nobody but Kankuro, Baki, and Sakura were paying attention to him. The rest of the council were staring at Sakura, who was still standing in the doorway, unsure where to go next.
"Sakura? Do you want to sit down?" Gaara asked. At least four men immediately sprang to their feet to offer her their chairs.
I feel so... attractive, Sakura thought to Yukari.
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that you have real nice legs and you're wearing real short shorts... I don't think they're typical desert attire.
No kidding... I don't even want to tell you where I've got sand from wearing this outfit on the street.
And these gentlemen also aren't used to having a village leader with breasts big enough to warrant their own zip code, so they might not be as good at staring furtively.
Gaara glared warningly at the men standing and stretched out his hand. A chair came scooting out of the shadows at the edge of the room, pushed by a small flurry of sand, and settled next to Kankuro. Sakura noticed, as she sat down, that there were, in fact, several spare chairs piled against the wall in case of extra attendees. She also noticed that the men were very quick to return to their chairs and act as thought they were paying rapt attention to the agendas in front of them.
"Ahem," Gaara cleared his throat once more, and this time everybody turned to him immediately. "As I was saying, we want to start teaching basic medical jutsu at the elementary level, along with other basic techniques, so that no squad will be without any medical training, and also to save the hospital some time when it comes to training new medics. Sakura, I was wondering if you had prepared that list of basics yet."
Sakura looked from him to Kankuro to the other council members. "I, well, not-,"
Kankuro raised his hand. "Oh, I forgot to ask her."
Gaara turned to Sakura without comment. "Sakura, allow me to rephrase; since you're going to be in charge of the new medical program, could you please come up with a list of basic techniques that schoolchildren will be able to master? And also, since you're here, do you mind taking notes for your husband? He's got a memory like a sieve."
"Only because I'm so used to repressing childhood memories, brother," Kankuro said as Sakura dutifully retrieved a pen from her purse.
Gaara flashed Kankuro a grin, the kind that had made Sakura break into a cold sweat when she was married to him. Kankuro took the expression as a normal, human one, however, and grinned right back in return. Baki smiled a little, as well, but the other councillors seemed to have the same nervous reaction as Sakura did. It made Sakura feel a little more at ease to not be the only one uncomfortable.
The meeting was standard enough. Sakura entertained herself by doodling notes to Kankuro on the paper and by imagining Naruto in Gaara's position. She wasn't sure if the idea of her blond teammate leading a meeting about running an entire village was comical or scary. A little of both, she decided.
— —
Sakura and Kankuro waiting behind for Gaara after the council was adjourned.
"Sakura, could I see your notes quickly?" he asked. Sakura looked over at Kankuro, and both of them looked down at the colorful margin scribbles her notes were covered in.
"Uh... what do you need them for?" Sakura asked cautiously.
"I want to see what you two kept giggling over," Gaara said with another of his creepy grins. "Nobody ever passes notes to me in meetings anymore." A tiny mote of sand snatched the paper away and took it to Gaara.
"Well, if you'd save me a seat next to you, maybe someone would," Kankuro said.
Gaara's eyes darted past the caricatures of the various councillors and the picture of Sand defeating Grass's army of flying monkeys. "No... I'm trying to be more dignified, anyway... I just miss being a brat once in a while." He handed the paper back. "Temari's at home working on that mission report that she was supposed to have done two weeks ago. Would you like to join us for lunch?"
"Should you be going home for lunch, Kazekage-sama?" Kankuro asked.
"I'm taking my paperwork home for the afternoon," Gaara sighed, pointing at a giant briefcase next to his chair. A swirl of sand picked it up and carried it behind him as he walked into the hall. "But if I spend another hour in this office I'm going to kill someone."
"Like your little posse of fangirls?" Kankuro asked. Gaara gave him a "don't remind me" look.
"Just Matsuri and her friends... Amaya can stay. She knows how to make coffee. And punch people. Also she's quiet."
Yukari? Who the hell are they talking about?
Well, Gaara's the Kazekage and he's dark and brooding. He's bound to pick up a few fans around the village. Not unlike Sa- well, other boys I know of that don't have much else going for them.
Well, good. At least I'm not breaking his heart, like poor Lee when I married Gai.
I don't remember him being all that upset...
Sakura groaned to herself. I know, but I'm trying to repress that whole day. Leave me alone and let me come up with my own fantasy version.
Fair enough.
— —
"So..." Kankuro scooped up a spoonful of chicken salad. "You invited us over here to help you clean out the leftovers?"
"Just as planned," Temari said absently from her seat at the table, where she was eating with one hand and writing up a lengthy mission report with the other. She took a slightly-stale potato chip from the bowl next to her and ate it without looking up. "We have trouble being bachelors without you around to cook for us, Kan-kun."
They were back in the mansion of a house that Sakura had spent lost in, back when she and Gaara had been married (it seemed like such a long time ago...). Yukari had informed her that Temari and Gaara lived there alone, and the guidebook didn't report that they had any problems with occupying such a large house on their own. This didn't surprise Sakura; the Sand Siblings were the type who needed their personal space in bulk.
"You two should move back in with us," Temari continued. "It's not like this place isn't big enough."
"It's meant to house the Kazekage's entire family plus a legion of servants and any visiting dignitaries," Gaara said, unaware that this had nothing to do with the conversation. He, too, was signing papers while he ate, although he was taking more care not to get any mustard on his papers than Temari was. "Of course, that was back when the Kazekage's family consisted of more than just a sister who's always off on missions."
"You could set her up with a sweet government job," Sakura offered, "like you did for Kankuro and Baki."
Temari shuddered dramatically. "Sakura, don't you even bring that up again. I already had to talk him out of making me the Secretary of Economic Development or something equally dreary when he first got the job. If I wanted to be a bureaucrat, I'd have gone out for Kazekage when Dad died and at least have some power while I was at it. No thank you."
"See what I put up with now that you're gone, Nii-san?" Gaara asked Kankuro pitifully. "All I want is for her to be happy-,"
"And I am, Gaar-gaar. I'd be even happier if Kankuro and Sakura would move back in with us," she added, grinning at her brothers.
"Good Lord, Temari, if you two hate cooking that badly, why don't you hire a maid?"
"Because then I wouldn't be able to walk around in my bra," Temari said simply.
"No, Temari, they can't move back in," Gaara said. "Kankuro is an excellent cook, but it's not worth waking up in the middle of the night to the sounds of Sakura-on-puppet action through the walls."
Sakura turned red. "Hey, whoa, now-,"
Temari laughed. "True enough, true enough. One of us'll just have to find somebody who can cook and marry them, right, Gaar-gaar?"
"I vote you," Gaara said automatically. "I've got too much paperwork."
"I'll get on that," Temari giggled, winking at Gaara, "No puppeteers, though... I'm not into any of that kinky stuff."
Gaara smiled, and Kankuro turned to Sakura, pouting. "You see what us poor middle siblings have to put up with?" he asked her in a long-suffering voice. "I never get any respect. Well, I'm not going to stick around and put up with this from two loser singles," he said, standing up. "I've got to get home and start dinner..."
Temari and Gaara looked at him, a little like puppies begging for a treat.
"Yeah, dinner..." Kankuro stretched slowly, watching the expressions on his siblings' faces. "Sakura and I picked up some fresh figs this morning... first of the season..."
Sakura could see Temari's mouth watering.
"I really should get that lamb marinading... maybe if you guys are lucky, there'll be leftovers... Come on, Sakura, we should go..."
Gaara cleared his throat. "Actually, Sakura, I need to go over some things with you about the new medical training program. Come up to my office."
"But-," Kankuro looked over at Sakura, who shrugged.
"That's a command from a village superior," Temari said, gloatingly. "You wouldn't want Tsunade-sama to get a bad report about Sakura's conduct here... she might revoke her orders and send her back to Konoha."
"You wouldn't-," Kankuro growled.
"No," Gaara said, "but that doesn't mean I don't need to see her. She'll be home for dinner, don't worry."
"I hate you sometimes, Gaara," Kankuro said.
"You two can have puppet sex later tonight like every other working couple," Gaara countered calmly. "Sakura is technically here under my employ."
Kankuro narrowed his eyes a little. Gaara grinned back. "I love you, big brother," he said innocently.
"I love you, too, Gaara."
Sakura stood up and kissed Kankuro on the cheek, careful to avoid the face paint he had applied so carefully after breakfast. "Don't worry, I'll be home before you know it."
— —
Sakura didn't realize until she was sitting at Gaara's desk, discussing the best way to set up a school to train Suna ninjas in Konoha medical methods, that she hadn't had to go to work with a single other husband... unless you count training with Kakashi, and she was technically on maternity leave at the time. It hadn't struck her as odd until she found herself actually thinking.
"And we'll need some recruits from Konoha to help you-,"
"No, we can't spare the medics just for this," Sakura shook her head. "How about we send a few of yours over to train in Konoha, and then they can come back and help me."
Gaara nodded. "Very well, I'll send a letter to Tsunade and select some new graduates-,"
"Oh, I can do that," Sakura said. "Let's face it, I know more about the type who will be good at it than you, and I also can recommend teachers for them to Tsunade... she's a wreck, she'll mess it up if I don't."
"But you're already doing so much..." Gaara looked pointedly at Sakura's three-page To-Do list as she wrote down "select medic trainees". Sakura shrugged.
Yeah, really, Sakura... you don't have to do this whole thing on your own... Yukari said.
That's the beauty of it, Yukari! Sakura replied happily. This isn't my real life! I'm not going to be here tomorrow! I'm not going to be here past 8:30 tonight! I can agree to do anything they want, but I won't have to do any of it, not really! It's very freeing.
You do sound happy about it.
Yeah... I've been thinking, these past couple of husbands have made me very tense... I need to relax a little. And I know just the way to.
The sun was just starting to set when Gaara decided that they had done more than enough for one day.
"Temari?" he called into the kitchen as he was seeing Sakura to the door.
"WHAT?!" Temari shrieked. She had been working non-stop on her mission report all afternoon, and was getting testy.
"I'm giving you an urgent assignment."
"Really?" Temari's head poked around the kitchen door, smiling. "Does that mean that I get to drop this god-forsaken mission report?"
"For the time being. I need you to see Sakura home for the evening; otherwise she'll probably wander off and die of thirst in the middle of nowhere."
Sakura didn't say anything to this, because it was clear that Gaara was familiar with her sense of direction. But she was also not happy with this, and she told Yukari as much.
I don't want to walk home with Temari.
Why not?
Remember how hostile she was when I was married to Gaara? She barely said two words to me all day. And Temari's real strong... she might kill me and leave me in a back alley.
Oh, I'm sure you'll be fine. She didn't like it when you were married to Gaara because she felt that you were manipulating her fragile little brother to get a soft life as the Kazekage's wife. In this reality, she knows that you work... also, I don't think she's that protective of Kankuro.
Oh... Sakura cooed, Poor little middle sibling...
"Sakura," Temari said as they walked through the darkening streets. "I've got to say, I'm so glad you and Kankuro are together."
"Really?"
"Yeah..." Temari smiled almost... shyly? Temari was smiling shyly? "You two actually... well... you remind me of my parents."
Sakura knew next to nothing about Temari's parents, except that they were dead. "Really?"
"Yeah... I mean, I don't remember Mom very well, but I think they would have acted like you two... you know, if Dad hadn't been crazy and if Mom had remembered to take her medication more regularly."
Sakura stopped in her tracks and blinked at this statement, but Temari was already turning onto the next street.
Kankuro sent Temari home with a Tupperware container full of dinner for her and Gaara, and he and Sakura sat down to a truly mouth-watering meal.
I never thought of Kankuro as the type to cook, Sakura thought as they finished dinner, but I suppose it makes sense... the three of them didn't eat fast food their entire childhood.
Did that taste as delicious as it looked? Yukari asked. Sakura could almost hear her stomach growl.
As a matter of fact, it did.
Heck, I'll date this guy, puppet and all! Yukari said.
Yeah, it's practically worth it. In fact...
"Hey, Kankuro," Sakura leaned across the corner of the table to whisper in his ear. "Are you sure it wouldn't take you long to take all the weapons out of Crow?"
Kankuro's mouth dropped open. "N-not long at all..."
Sakura smiled and brushed on hand through his hair. "Well, how about the three of us celebrate our anniversary a little early?"
What? No! No, Sakura, look, you're a nice girl, but I refuse to sit here and watch while- Look, you have to remember that there are other people sharing this experience, and I am NOT ready for this kind of-,
Kankuro leaned in to kiss her, but she held a finger to his lips to stop him. "One condition."
"Oh no."
"Can I have a massage, first?"
Sakura, I am not okay with-
Yukari, relax. The day will be up long before we get around to anything I don't want to do, and I would do a lot more than this for a massage from someone as good with their hands as a typical puppeteer. And, Yukari, I NEED a good massage.
...They're really good with their hands, huh?
Masters, Yukari. Masters.
Well, that changes everything...
"So," Kankuro brushed her hand aside and kissed her. "Can we take this upstairs?"
Sakura looked at the clock on the wall. Just about eight o'clock... "Sure. Let's."
— —
"Mmm. Mmmmm! Oh, how did I ever get by without you, Kankuro?" Sakura was very pleased with how well her plan was going.
"Wow, Sakura, why are you so tense? Did Temari threaten you again?" Kankuro seemed very pleased with how his evening was going.
"Hmm, no, I'm just- Oh! Oh, don't stop! Aaaah..."
Only Yukari was not pleased. Sakura, I feel like some creepy kind of voyeur, watching you get a massage from inside your mind...
Oh, deal with- OH MY GOD! "Mmm, Kan-ku-ro, you are a MIRACLE WORKER! Oooh..." Yukari, he's doin' this thing with my shoulder blades-,
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!
Your loss. Calm down, it'll be over in-
The massage stopped suddenly.
Right now. FINALLY. Yukari sighed.
Ah, man, and I was just starting to really relax...
— —
A/N: I know Gaara is OOC, before you say anything. I have a wide range of excuses; he's older and his personality is bound to have changed over the years, the chapter isn't about him anyway, and he's so difficult to make in character in any case that it wasn't worth the effort.