Deliverance

by Team04Phantom

Part 3 in the Danny's Story Series. The summer is off to a bad start already as the kids face summer school, exposed secrets and a new mayor but Danny has bigger problems. In his third trimester with no support system, how will he provide and protect his daughter? Meanwhile, Sam and Danny's relationship begins to heat up, causing the halfa to wonder: is there still a chance?

14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom.

Warning: This story contains references of rape, male sex, and pedophilia. Sexual content, MPreg and language are a factor in this story. If any of this disturbs you, please do not read.

Chapter 14: Accepting Ownership

I removed the Gauntlet from its home in the wall and sighed in relief that it was still there. I slipped it on my arm and then groaned. I was thankful that Vlad didn't get his hands on the Gauntlet but this means that it's too dangerous to leave unattended anymore. "What am I going to do," I complained.

"You have to keep it with you at all times," Sam said, simply put. I wished it were that easy.

"You'll have to find a way to make it vanish," Tucker replied. "You can take objects with you when you go invisible. Can you make something vanish but you stay visible?"

"I don't know," I said, thinking that's a good idea. I looked at my hand, imagining my arm visible but the Gauntlet invisible. Surprisingly, it did just that. "Cool! Who knew I could discover something about my powers more than a year later?"

"You'll probably learn new things about your powers decades from now," Sam commented. "But I'm uncertain about this. You'd be using your powers every day! Wouldn't that weaken you?"

"What choice do I have," I asked. "Vlad made it clear he wants that Gauntlet and I'm not wanting to test the man. He will eventually find it."

"I'm not suggesting that you leave it here," Sam replied softly. "I just think that maybe your parents' invention could help here. You know, the one we used when you got your powers back."

"The cloaking device," Tucker asked. "It's not really invisible. It's just blended in."

"It's better than Danny using his powers twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five days a year for the rest of his life!"

My eyes widened, "When you put it that way…"

"Let's try it," Sam replied. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"I'm not sure but now that you've said it, anything's game," I retorted. Haven't we learned that when that phrase is used, the worst-case scenario happens!

"I'm sure the worst that can happen will happen with the way you're doing it now," Sam shot back. I sighed, bringing the Gauntlet back into sight and walking over to the workstations. My dad was upstairs working on an invention while Mom was cooking so we had the lab to ourselves. I searched for the cloaking device and when I finally found it, I placed it on the Gauntlet.

"Okay," I said, looking at the device. "Mom said there was multiple ways to activate it." I held up my arm, staring at the device. "I don't want to use the voice activation and I think it's pointless to use the monitor. Taping it might work but there was another way." I was trying to remember. Mom and Dad created this thing years ago. I haven't had a tutorial in at least three years. "Oh! I remember," I declared. I cleared my throat, holding my arm out in front of me and pushing the yellow button on the small invention. I held it until it started blinking blue and red. "Motion activation. Programing," I declared.

The cloaking device let out a beep and I twisted my arm in a quick snap. It beeped again. I did it again. I repeated the procedure for about a dozen times before it said sequence recorded. The blinking ceased, followed by a long whine.

"What was that," Sam asked.

"My parents made it motion active but I couldn't quite figure out the move they had designed to activate the device. Thinking that others may have the same problem, she created it so that the operator could create their own motion activation. I think that's the best way to bring the Gauntlet out. I won't be doing that move unless it's on purpose."

"That could be problematic," Sam agreed. "One minute there's nothing on your arm and then the next there's this giant metal glove."

"Yeah," I said. "Now, to test it out." I twisted my arm again in the same fashion and it reappeared. I called out excitedly.

"What? Did you doubt Mom and Dad's invention," Tucker chuckled.

"No," I replied. "I doubted my ability to understand it." We started laughing. "Actually, I had a real chance to forget how to program it. I remembered you pushed the button and said something but I wasn't for sure those were the words."

"I think this will do fine," Sam replied. "Now, you can claim it."

"No," I retorted. "I'm still just its babysitter. I am not the master of the Reality Gauntlet." That idea scared the hell out of me. The Gauntlet is supposedly a forty-four on its own. I'm an eleven. That would make me a fifty-five.

"Just because you're wearing it doesn't mean it has to affect your powers," Tucker replied. "You control the Gauntlet. It doesn't control you."

"It's more powerful than me," I said softly. "It's the most powerful ghostly object in this world, supposedly. That's a lot to take ownership of."

Sam kissed me softly on the cheek. "You'll do fine."

I looked at my arm with doubt. "It scares me, guys. I don't want to turn out like him. Just because Phantom has gained control doesn't mean that there wasn't a part of him that originally wanted to relinquish that control. I don't know for sure but the Gauntlet probably has enough power to be considered not just a ghostly object, but a physical ghost. There are less inanimate ghosts out there."

"You'll do fine," Sam replied. She turned away from us, taking a seat. "Have you planned on a day for the 'fulfillment of the obligation'?"

"Sometime next week," I replied. "I want to time this perfectly. Mom and Dad have never been dumb but there was a time I could fool them. That time has passed."

"I think that's a good idea," Sam replied. "We can't have them know this was all staged."

"Agreed," Tucker replied. "Did Vlad say anything about what he heard?"

"No," I replied. "Just that he had heard some talk about an attack on Lilly. Maybe I should have asked for more information."

"I just hope he isn't the one orchestrating it," Sam sighed.

I looked at her, "Do you think he would do that?"

"Why wouldn't he," Tucker scoffed.

"He's had countless opportunities to take Lilly," I defended. "Why would he go through so much trouble just to take her?"

"Maybe to throw you off," Sam declared. "Really, Danny, what better way to get Lilly and be off your radar by acting all torn up and trying to find her. All the while, she's locked away on the island."

I sighed. "Of course," I said, lowering my head. "That was probably his plan when he tried to kidnap Mom and I through DALV. Comforting Dad and Jazz because Mom and I died on the way to an event hosted by him."

"I doubt it," Sam said softly. "He did send those monsters after your father and Jazz. He planned to kill them and keep you both. I'm glad you did get away."

I looked away. "Me, too. I couldn't have took any more of that." I fought against the urges to relive those three hours. That day and the thirty-two hours are the only things that still shake me up.

"You're safe," Sam said softly. "I won't ever let him hurt you, Danny."

"I'm more worried about him hurting you two or traumatizing Lilly," I sighed. "You should have heard her, guys. I had never seen her so terrified." I looked in on Lilly, thankful she was sleeping peacefully. "She screamed so terrifyingly."

"Of course she was scared," Tucker said sorrowfully. "Wouldn't you be? I know you was. You ran the first time Vlad came after you. She has been taken to where Vlad is but never has Vlad came for her. She's still uncertain if he'll leave her alone."

I swallowed hard, knowing where that fear came from now. Yes, I do remember that pure terror. I felt it all the way home when the week was over. I feel it now every time I think of him. It's not the same kind of capture but it's just as scary.

Sam took my hand. "It's okay, Danny. I won't let anything happen to my family."

"I'm scared, too," I admitted softly. "I have no control when I'm near him. When he gives me that look or I start having sensations again." I swallowed. "I don't want to be helpless against him. I don't want to lose who I am."

Sam and Tucker nodded softly, slight shock on their faces. I still hated this. To see that look of pain on their faces, knowing that they know there is nothing they can do. It's all up to me and I'm not strong enough to defy it. Why do I have to hurt them if the pain is for nothing?

"It's not for nothing," Tucker replied. "Yeah, it hurts to know there is only so much we can do but we do have a choice. We wouldn't even know you felt that way if you hadn't said anything. I knew you fear going back to Vlad but I had no idea that you feel like you lose who you are when you are with him. Now I have a weapon in my arsenal."

"It's hard to explain," I sighed. "It's hard to understand." I took a breath. "Dani and I discussed it. She and I had that in common. To look at Vlad brings out all sorts of emotions in me. I don't know which one is stronger. I feel like I should be with him. I feel like I should surrender to him. All at the same time." I gasped, the pain threatening to shut me down. I was breathing so hard and my wall that held in my emotions was cracking again. I tried not to cry.

"It's okay," Sam said softly, her own eyes filling with tears.

"I think I need some air," I said softly. "Can you excuse me for a minute?"

"Yeah," Tucker said softly. Sam nodded, her eyes horrorstricken.

I left headquarters, trying to clear my head. I managed to keep the tears at bay and rebuild my wall while I was out. My heart ached and I felt sick but I remained together. The smells inside headquarters told me Sam and Tucker weren't so lucky.

,

That night, I dreamed of Vlad again. Sam and Tucker weren't there so I didn't need to worry about exposing that. I checked on Lilly and went to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and stepped under the water. I wanted to remember that day in the shower on the island. I couldn't, though. The bad memories refused to resurface. I couldn't think of anything but Vlad and the 'good' times we had. I turned off the shower, turning intangible. I wiped the steam away from the mirror and looked at my reflection. I was the ghost of myself. I wasn't the me I had become since I put faith in Mom and Dad getting Lilly back. I was this broken shell again.

I shoved the sink hard, the contents falling off into the floor. I went to my knees, purposely, trying desperately to support the wall of emotions. Two handprints sat where I shoved the sink, broken from the force. I had uprooted it and damaged the wall behind the sink. I put my hands on the basin and pulled myself to my feet, putting on my bottoms. I left the top hanging on the towel rack. I went down the stairs.

I sat down with a cup of coffee and turned on the television. I didn't even care what was on. I mainly watched the light dance on the black wall. I held the cup but I wasn't drinking it. I was so numb, I couldn't feel anything. I wanted to feel something. Anger, sadness, frustration, betrayal; anything. Just not this numbing feeling. I wanted to feel pain. I wanted to feel.

Just to try it, I threw the cup as hard as I could at the floor. The coffee spilled across the room as the cup slammed into the surface. It shattered but I still didn't feel anything. No anger, no regret, no confusion. Just… numb.

I heard a commotion upstairs but I didn't feel anything here either. My action had caused my parents to wake up and think that we were maybe being robbed but so what? "Danny," Mom asked in confusion.

"Yeah," I asked. My voice was simple so there was nothing there either.

"What happened," Mom asked. Her eyes traced the cup. "Did you have an accident?"

"It wasn't an accident," I replied. Who was this voice? What was it saying?

"What happened," she asked again.

"I threw the cup," I said simply. Why am I saying this? Shouldn't I explain? I guess I don't care.

"Why," Mom asked.

"Just to see if I could," I replied. I knew I could. What does that mean?

"Honey," Mom asked softly. "Look at me."

I looked at her and she had a look of concern. "You're not numb," I asked, envious. "Why am I?"

"You're numb," Mom asked. "What do you mean? Is your hands asleep or something?"

"I don't feel them anyway," I replied matter of fact. "I mean emotionally. You're concerned. It must feel good."

"What happened," Mom asked.

"What hasn't happened," I asked but I wasn't avoiding the question. I couldn't feel worry like I know I should. I couldn't feel fear.

"Sweetheart, talk to me," Mom asked.

"I can't break away," I said softly. I would toy with exposure just to experience that fear. Maybe it would work. "He's capturing me. I can't fight him. I'm hurting my friends." Not even worry got through to me. I said the sentence matter of fact. I wasn't even ashamed. "I can't stop this pull."

"What pull," Mom asked, her brow furrowing. I could keep going and risk exposure or I could pull back. It didn't seem to work anyway.

"I'm not afraid," I said softly. "I'm not angry. I'm not excited. I can't feel anything," I said softly. "I just erased your memories a week ago but I'd risk telling you again just to feel something."

"Honey, I'm confused," Mom declared. Now she was frustrated. I wished I could feel that way.

"Hey," I said, a small smile on my lips. "Wish. I wish I had a million bucks." Nothing. "I wished I was the only person in the world." No fear. "I wished I were dead." I couldn't generate the fear that Desiree would hear. I smiled but it was one of wishful thinking. It wasn't even real. There was certainly no happiness.

"Danny," Mom declared. "You never say wish. What is wrong with you?"

"I want to feel," I said softly. "I want to experience something. I don't care. I'd take anticipation of being with him again. Just let me feel something."

"Being with who," Mom asked.

"I might regret that when I feel again," I said softly. "I'll clean up the mess."

"Damn the mess," Mom declared. I watched her reaction with envy. "You are scaring me."

"What's it feel like," I asked softly. "I should feel that way. I'm destroying everything I've ever worked hard for but I'm not scared. I'd like to know what it feels like."

Mom's eyes filled with tears. "Baby, please, let me help you."

"I don't think that's possible," I sighed. There was no anticipation or apprehension. Just a realization that I was on my own.

I stood up and went to the kitchen, getting the bucket and mop. I filled the bucket with a little water and went to clean up the mess. I picked up the glass first and then I mopped the floor. I had a large area to clean but I didn't feel the dread. I felt nothing.

,

I picked up Lilly gently and put her in the body sling I had for her. I put it on and made sure she was fine. I didn't feel concern for her, I just knew she should be safe. I flew to my house in Elemerton.

I don't know why I wanted to come here. I just did. I hadn't been here in a very long time. The house was covered in dust and everything was as we left it. This house didn't represent good times with Vlad because we've had some bad times here too, but it did represent what could have been. A small house with a large yard. It would have been perfect to raise Lilly here. I wonder what would have been? If I had changed one thing. Vlad asked me to tell my family and then I had that dream. Say I didn't change my mind about Vlad? Say I had changed my mind about them? I had chosen Vlad. I didn't choose them. What if I had left and we had lived here?

Would we be happy still? Would I not know this crushing numbness? Would I be pregnant with Eddie and Jacob still, finally about to give Vlad the sons of his dreams? Would Lilly be happy around Vlad instead of screaming in pure terror? In my dream, she loved Vlad. She was one of the few who defended him no matter what. Megan was the next one. I don't know if I'd have Megan or Jacob and Edward. Would we only have Lilly because she would be enough?

I walked into our bedroom and sat down on our bed. All the nights we spent in this bed. Every time we made love. Vlad knew everything there was to know about my body. Even at the party last night, he still knew me better than most knew me. To say Vlad wasn't concerned about me would be a lie. To say Vlad didn't value my happiness over anything else would be one, too.

I walked into the nursery and took Lilly out of the sling. I sat down in the rocker, rocking her gently. That was the one thing I didn't get in my room. I couldn't bring myself to rock her anywhere but where I imagined it. This was going to be where she would stay. I would have went to school, leaving Lilly with Vlad. Vlad could have protected her. I wouldn't have to make up some fabrication about Dora and Sidney being Lilly's parents to protect her.

I imagined it for the first time. Vlad walking in the door, me rocking Lilly. She wouldn't be so advanced because she would have had the chance to be a child. She'd be innocent and small still. Vlad would stroke her hair, smiling at me. I'd give him a kiss while I continued to rock our daughter.

Are you hungry, he'd ask me. My eyes filled with tears and I know I had found something the law would want me to feel. I kept it up.

Yeah, I'd say. I have been around Vlad for more than a year now. I feel normally now. I got hungry and the frequent meals were unnecessary. I got hungry on my own. Why don't you go get dressed and we'll go out today? A date night, maybe?

With Lilly or hire a babysitter, he'd ask me. I'd crack a smile.

Can you get Skulker, I'd ask mischievously. He gave me grief today at school. Sticking him with babysitting duties is the perfect revenge.

I'll call him right away. Vlad would give me that cheeky grin.

We would go out to dinner; maybe a picnic under the stars. I'd wear a sweater because I would feel the chill just a little bit. I wouldn't be so numb. I wouldn't be so conflicted. I wouldn't be a part of my family anymore so there would be no need to hide from them. Vlad and Lilly would be my only family. It'd be hard but it would be nothing like how I feel now. I wouldn't have this tugging feeling. This need to be with Vlad but the want to be with Sam.

I cried as I rocked Lilly. It could never be like that again. I've told Sam and Tucker about Lilly and Vlad. My parents can't handle my ghost hunting. I love Sam and I now know she loves me. I don't trust Vlad with my heart. It could never be the same again.

I had a choice and I made that choice. This is now the consequences of that choice. I have to deal with those consequences.

,

I packed Lilly to Vlad's office and it was exactly as I remembered it. All of his personal effects were gone but the furniture was still there. I remembered when I found that picture of me that I still don't know how he got and the image of my ultrasound. I held Lilly with one hand and traced the top of his desk with my other hand. I shuttered a breath.

When I came upstairs, I found Sam and Tucker there. I should have been surprised but I didn't feel anything. "What are you guys doing here," I asked.

"Your mom called us," Sam said, worriedly. "Danny, where are we?"

"This is the house that I bought for Vlad and I," I said softly. "I came here to think."

"You bought a house for Vlad," Tucker asked in shock.

"After his house in Wisconsin blew up, he wanted to move to be closer to me. Vlad was looking for an apartment so I bought this house," I replied.

"Are you okay," Sam asked. "Your mom said you were acting strange."

"I'm just numb," I replied softly. "That ghost law is preventing me from feeling anything but emotions that make me want to run to Vlad."

"Oh," Sam said, a little surprised. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," I replied. "The only thing I've felt is what I don't want to feel. I'm just trying to deal with this one thing at a time."

"That's a good idea," Tucker replied. "Did something happen? Why are you up this late?"

"I had a dream of Vlad," I admitted even though I didn't want to. I had planned to be over this by the time we got together. However, Mom ruined that plan. I still couldn't feel anything, though.

"What are you going to do," Sam asked me.

"I don't know," I sighed. I wished I could feel something besides these emotions. I can't even feel angry at Vlad because it wants us back together. I have to feel this longing in my heart.

"What did you think would happen here," Sam asked another question.

"I'm not sure," I replied. "I thought maybe it would bring up some emotions but then again, it doesn't feel right. I just wanted to clear my head."

"So you came to a place that would only intensify the need to be with him," Tucker asked incredulously. I hung my head.

"Tuck," Sam scolded. "There's nothing wrong with it, Danny. You can do what you want."

"I don't know," I sighed. "Did I make a mistake? I can't tell. I wished I could feel something about this."

"You're hurting," Sam said softly. "Try anything you can to help ease that pain."

"Anything but giving in," Tucker cut in. "You have to stay above this."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "But I think Danny knows that."

"I don't know," I admitted softly. "I've considered some radical things to try."

"Radical," Tucker asked in shock. "What kind of radical things?"

"Making wishes. Pushing close to exposure with Mom. I even considered something I had tried a long time ago." I paused as the memory resurfaced. The rush of pain I felt. However, though I may not be able to feel the insanity of that idea, I still know a crazy idea when I think of it.

"You're damn right that was an insane idea," Tucker declared in shock. "Danny! Don't you ever do that!"

"What," Sam asked, panicked. "What was he thinking?"

I decided to answer this. I need to prove that I'm not hiding anymore. "When I tried to hurt myself last year, the sensation sent feeling through my senses. I considered cutting myself again to see if I could feel it." I sighed. "Or at least try to feel the regret."

"Danny," Sam asked in horror. "Why would you want to hurt yourself?"

"I didn't," I replied. "I just wanted that feeling. I decided against it immediately. I couldn't feel that feeling that I had decided wrong but I know a stupid idea when I think of it."

"At least you backed out," Tucker sighed. "Don't you ever do that!"

What would it have done anyway? I never have been able to feel touch. I just want to feel some kind of emotion. A thought of my daughter growing up without me. I looked to Sam. I should be speaking this aloud. "I think I made a mistake. I shouldn't have thought of it. I just thought it might have spurred something in me."

"Just promise me you won't hurt yourself," Sam begged. She rubbed Lilly's sleeping form. "If not for us, for her."

"I won't," I said, trying to give her a smile. I could barely feel it on my face. I know it must not have worked.

"Let's go home," Tucker said softly. "You don't need to be around this."

"Just give me a moment," I said, looking to the back. So many memories in this house. I walked back to Lilly's nursery. I sat down in my rocker again but I don't know if I was soothing her or myself. I remember when these walls were blue. He accepted he was having a daughter so well. I was afraid he'd take it hard but as soon as he heard her, things changed. He was psyched for a baby girl.

"Are you having regrets," Sam asked, her voice breaking.

I looked to her but the look of pain and fear didn't affect me like I wanted it to. I should have been trying to console her. Tell her that I was still certain about our future. "We're not all right, Sam," I said softly. "I still love you but I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to break your heart and I promised I wouldn't ever do that."

"All you have to do is try," Sam said, her eyes filling with tears. "If you try to avoid the feelings, I promise you I will hold on. I don't care how much it hurts me. I still want you, Danny and I will fight for you. I just need you to promise you'll fight for me, too."

"I'm fighting, Sam," I said softly. "I'm just afraid… well, I should be afraid that what I'm fighting for is to hurt you more. Why would I want to hurt you?"

"We need to go," Tucker said, his voice weak. "This environment isn't good for you."

"Okay," I said softly. I stood up, rubbing my hand on the rocker. I took one last look at the room as I tried to close this chapter on my life. Maybe that's why I came. To try to move on with my life.

,

Mom was really worried about me when we made it home. Lilly was still sound asleep in the sling when I came in. I told her I was sorry I made her worry but it wasn't true. I knew I'd be sorry but for the moment, I just wasn't. I went to school but this numbness continued. After I went after a ghost in third block, I found myself on the roof of the school with my phone to my ear. I couldn't explain it and I don't remember calling anyone. Whoever answers this phone isn't going to be the only one who doesn't know who's calling.

"Hello," I heard his voice. My heart caught in throat when I actually felt something. Why did I call him?

"Vlad," I asked even though I didn't know what I was doing. Am I dreaming? Did I not really wake up this morning? This is the sort of thing that happens in my dreams.

"Daniel," Vlad asked as surprised as I was. Am I really dreaming? I wouldn't call him willingly.

"Are you busy," I asked softly.

"For you, never," Vlad declared. "Where do you want me to meet you? Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Hold up," I said, my voice more firm than it has been since I woke up last night. "This isn't what you think it is. I just need to see you. Can you meet me at the house?"

"In Elemerton," Vlad declared in shock. "What made you think of that place?"

"I'll explain everything when we get there," I said. "Just… please, Vlad. I'm begging you. I'm vulnerable. I need you to take it easy on me."

"Of course," Vlad said. "I swear, I will not hurt you."

"I'm counting on you," I said. "Meet me there in a minute, okay?"

"Okay," Vlad said. I hung up. I flew to the house and I could feel his presence. He beat me here. "Hi, Daniel," Vlad said slowly.

Seeing him caused all sorts of emotions in me. I wasn't strong enough to be doing this now. Why was I doing it? "Don't touch me," I said, holding out my hand. "I just want to talk."

"Anything you want, it's yours," Vlad said softly. This can't be happening.

"I was thinking we could maybe sell the house," I said softly. "It's not being used. Someone could make this a home."

"It's our home," Vlad said softly, his voice threatening to break.

"We don't have a home anymore, Vlad," I said softly. "We're not together and we never will be. It's time we both moved on."

"I can't," Vlad said, clearing his throat. "I know it isn't right but I can't walk away from this, Daniel. I'm trying to give you your space but I can't just walk away from what we have."

"We don't have it anymore, Vlad," I said softly. I didn't want to hurt him but I don't know why. He's done nothing but hurt me and he's still doing it. Why do I care?

"It's still there, Danny," Vlad said. I felt a pang go through my heart. He called me Danny again. "I see it in your eyes. You're on autopilot. You don't know what you're doing. Don't hurt yourself anymore, sweetheart. You don't have to go through this alone."

"I'm not," I said, my throat choking up. "Sam and Tucker…"

"They're controlling you," Vlad returned urgently. "They think they know what's best for you but they don't! We've both screwed up before and I know I'm mostly to blame but don't let them take this from us. Don't let them destroy our family."

"What family, Vlad," I asked, the tears coming on. "Lilly is terrified of you. Our twins are dead. I'm scared of you. I'm scared of myself. Tell me! What do we have to save?"

"Our twins," Vlad asked, confused. I sunk to my knees, a combination of guilt for having told him that way and grief.

"When you impregnated me after Lilly," I said, shamefully. "I'm so sorry, Vlad. I shouldn't have told you this way. I miscarried our sons."

"Danny," Vlad said, the heartbreak showing on his face. He knelt beside of me but didn't touch me. "How did you find out," Vlad asked, his breathing ragged.

"Grandma and Grandpa Simmons have them," I said, taking a deep breath. "They told me about them."

"Was it when you took your powers away," Vlad asked, looking at me.

"I think," I said softly. "One showed up at one time and the other showed up some time later. I'm not sure what it was, Vlad."

"It's okay," Vlad said softly. "We can get through this. You just have to ask me."

"Why would I do that, Vlad," I asked him, looking in his blue eyes. "Why would I ask to come back to you when I know all it will do is hurt me?"

"I won't hurt you," Vlad declared. His voice was begging more than angry.

"I've heard it before," I said softly. "What can you do to make me believe?"

"I can't do that," Vlad said softly. "This is what love is, Daniel. You have faith in something that should be impossible. Our history says I should hurt you. We should say that isn't how it has to be."

"I can't trust you, Vlad. That's what love is. I should be able to trust you. You've stung me too many times."

"Our love is like honey, Daniel. We have to go through the bees to get to it. Sometimes, we're going to get stung. We need to learn how to deal with the stings."

"We've already tried that," I said, shaking my head. "We have killed the bees, Vlad, and now there is no more honey. All we can do is move onto a new beehive."

"But no other beehive will produce honey like ours will," Vlad said, looking into my eyes. He was losing his battle with the tears. "If we give up, we will lose that honey."

"We already have," I said, my tears threating to drop. "It's gone, Vlad. Why can't you see that?"

"Because I've seen things I thought was gone come back," Vlad said passionately. "I've seen you come back to me when I thought you were dead. I saw you walk through my door when I was convinced I had lost you. I see you awakening humanity in me, Daniel. I've saw you pull through an impossible delivery and hold our daughter. I've seen you."

"I want to be enough," I cried. He was making this so difficult. "I wished our love was enough but it's not. We've proven again and again that we can't make this work. If we gave it another chance, all it will do is prove it again. I love you, Vlad. Damnit, I still love you but I can't keep doing this to myself. I'm ready to move on with my life."

"You're making a mistake," Vlad said, heartbroken. "I can't stop you. I know, though, that you are throwing away everything we have worked for."

"Maybe so," I said, trying not to choke, "but we are throwing away our lives when we try to make it work."

"Can you wait to sell the house," Vlad asked. "I want to make sure you know what you're giving away."

"Okay," I said softly. Vlad stood up, helping me to my feet. He was cautious where he put his hands. Finally, he stroked my face gently. I closed my eyes, feeling the sensation.

"I love you, Daniel. I can't change that fact. I'm sorry you can't understand that."

"I love you, too, Vlad," I said, choking. "I'm sorry I can't make it work."

I pulled away from his touch, leaving the house. I didn't make it far before I fell out of the sky, collapsing into a fit of tears on the ground. Even in ghost mode, I gasped and struggled to not choke. I wasn't breathing but the sadness had gripped me. I wanted to fly back to him and beg him to forgive me but I couldn't. I couldn't give in to those impulses. So instead, I cried there until I couldn't see straight.

,

The numbness continued for days. I wanted to feel so guilty for putting this burden on my friends, especially Sam. Sam spent every night with me but she coddled me more like a child than helped me cope like a lover. Tucker started talking with Val so he disappeared for a couple days. I hoped someone could be happy. I know I was being unfair to Sam. Why she stuck around I don't know. She must really care for me. No one else would put up with this for a three-month old relationship.

I had wanted to do the rouse but I couldn't bring myself to feel comfortable. It needed to go off without a hitch but I couldn't feel the need for this to be successful. So we kept Lilly in the spotlight for a little while longer. Having my parents was a godsend because I was raising Lilly on autopilot. I had no strong desires to help me protect her. I would have to have Mom remind me to check the temperature of her bath water and things like that because I couldn't feel worry. I tried to remember everything but the feelings that usually helped me stay on course just wasn't there. I couldn't produce the feelings.

Saturday, I decided I had spent enough time contemplating it. I needed to sell that house. I called Vlad and told him if there was anything he wanted, he better get it. Later that day, I took Lilly to see if there was anything I wanted. I picked the wrong time to go.

A little after we made it there, Vlad showed up. Lilly started to scream when Vlad teleported in. I know why she was scared but I couldn't produce the feeling to care. Before the logical side of me could stop the numb me, I was yelling at Lilly. "Shut up, Lilly." Something akin to regret went through me but not before Vlad had something to say.

"Daniel, how dare you," Vlad declared. My emotion for shock went through me. "She's scared. The least you can do is comfort her."

"She's scared because of you," I tried to retort. I had my own feelings. They were no more than logic and past experience but it was the best I could produce.

"I know that but you screaming at her isn't helping," Vlad retorted. "I promise you, Lilly, I will not take you. I'm just here to get a few things before Mommy sells our house."

"Please," Lilly cried. "I just don't want to go."

"I promise," Vlad said soothingly. "My little Tiger-Lilly. You're safe."

"You hurt Daddy," Lilly cried. "He's not himself."

"I know," Vlad said softly. "Mommy is just confused right now. She'll come to her senses."

"I'm not a girl," I said but it wasn't in anger. Just my own version of anger.

"You need to get a grip," Vlad declared. "Put her in her crib. Now."

I wanted to disobey but I ran on autopilot anymore. I placed her in the crib and followed him into our old room. "Vlad, I don't want a lecture."

"Then don't yell at our daughter when she needs your comfort," Vlad declared. "You need to find a way to stop this, Daniel. There's a limit and you crossed it. The Danny I know would have never done that."

"I'm not the Danny I used to be," I said softly.

Vlad stood up, storming towards the front of the room. I thought he was going to storm out but he returned to the bed, jabbing something in my side. I screamed out as my powers flooded away. "Then you need to take a break."

"What," I asked, breathless. Confusion, worry, suspicion and relief went through me. "I feel."

"You're not a ghost anymore," Vlad said softly. "You're human."

I looked deep inside, trying to power up but nothing happened. "I'm normal."

"For three hours," Vlad said softly. "After that, you go back to the way we are."

"Why is this here," I asked, confused.

"I use it sometimes," Vlad admitted, looking away. "That's why I don't want you to sell the house, okay. I take my powers away and I stay here for three hours. It helps."

"Why do you do that," I asked.

"Go apologize to our daughter," Vlad retorted. Mentioning Lilly brought on a wave of guilt.

"Lilly," I cried. I ran out of the room.

,

I didn't see Vlad for the rest of the day. I found the Plasmius Maxmius on the dresser in our room but he was gone when I returned. Only a note was left.

Put this on the top shelf.

I felt so much better after I had my powers removed. After my powers came back, the feeling remained. I went home and I got to hold Sam for the first time and comforted her. Sam was a mess because she was terrified she was losing me. I didn't know how long this would last but I had a clue that it wouldn't last long. Vlad hadn't been back for two weeks and he had used the Plasmius Maxmius several times. I have a feeling the feeling will only last a few days.

Sunday I went to the house to see if he'd show up. I realized, though, that was be a bad idea. So I set up these cameras so I could watch from a distance. Monday and Tuesday he stayed away. On Wednesday, however, he showed up.

I watched him go into the bedroom and take down the Plasmius Maxmius. He shocked himself and walked to the kitchen without even a yelp. Vlad sat down at the table with a tall bottle after stopping at the fridge. He popped the lid off and took a drink out of the bottle.

"Oh, no," I said, fearfully. He was drinking… powerless? What the hell was he thinking? As the full bottle turned into an empty one, I found it increasingly difficult to watch. When he pulled out a second one, I turned it off.

We were at headquarters so I walked away from my monitor and sought out Sam and Tucker. Jazz was once again wrapped up in texting Joseph so she wasn't here. I sat down on the couch where my friends were, what I had just seen on my mind. I didn't know what to make of it.

"What's going on," Tucker asked. "How did you see that?"

"I decided to sell the house," I said softly, staring at the wall. I was partially in shock. "I called Vlad and told him if there was anything he wanted out of the house, he'd better get it. Later that day, I went back to see if there was anything there I wanted. I had Lilly with me and Vlad showed up."

"Oh, no," Tucker said, horrified.

I hadn't explained this to them and I know I should have. I felt guilty. "Lilly started screaming when Vlad teleported in but I was still numb at the time." I held my head down in shame. "I screamed at her. She needed me to comfort her and I screamed at her. Vlad lost it. He dragged me to our bedroom and powered me down with the Plasmius Maxmius." Sam's expression went from one of horror and anger to one of confusion. "That's why I can feel emotions again. I guess it threw off the ghost law or something."

"Did Vlad touch you," Sam asked, confused.

"No," I replied. "He told me to go apologize to our daughter and when I came back, he was gone. He had told me he used the Plasmius Maxmius sometimes so I was curious. I set up some cameras in our house and I've been checking them periodically for the last few days. Vlad came in today." I shook my head, confused as hell. "He told me he took away his powers but guys, he's drinking. He's drinking powerless."

"That makes no sense," Sam said, confused. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know," I said, a little shaken up. I hated to admit it, but I was concerned. Now with my head clear, I wasn't dwelling on what could have been. I know I made the right decision and that Sam is who I belonged with but that doesn't mean that I still don't care for the man. He's Lilly's father and I used to love him. I think Sam understands.

"You don't have to ask for my permission, you know," Sam said softly. "You can go talk to him."

"I'm not asking for permission," I cracked a smile. "I don't know what to do. I certainly don't want to go anywhere near him. I mean… our systems are used to being able to take extreme conditions but believe me, when we don't have our powers and something happens, it messes us up ten times more than it would if we were normal. If Vlad's drinking, I don't want anyone near him right now." I shuttered a breath, "Especially me."

"Oh," Tucker said, understandingly. He turned to Sam. "Danny's afraid that Vlad could maybe hurt him again. Go back to his ways." I listened in amazement. I didn't fully understand why I didn't want to go there especially. I just knew it frightened me. "It's kind of a subconscious thought," he added, looking to me. "Danny didn't truly understand it. I just read the subconscious aspect of it."

"Wait a minute," Sam declared. "You understood what he said before Danny truly understood what he said!" She looked to me in shock, "Can he read subconscious thoughts now, too?"

"I guess," I cried, equally as shocked. We knew Tucker could read a thought train but it was always a conscious one, even if he made us forget it by throwing our train off. Now he can understand things that we don't truly understand ourselves.

"No wonder Vlad didn't stand a chance," Sam said in horror. "Who could compete with that?"

"Yeah," I declared, looking to Tucker. "How did you manage to make Vlad gag when he went after Sam?"

"I read his thoughts about him wanting to choke Sam so I placed up… I call it a mirror. He tries to use mind control on his victim but he doesn't realize he's looking at himself. It's kind of hard to explain."

My eyes were wide. "No kidding. I had no idea you could do that." I stuttered, "That anyone could do that!"

"Vlad was shocked too but he was mostly confused," Tucker smirked. "He doesn't know about us becoming halfas, after all."

"Just be careful," I said, looking to Tucker seriously. "Vlad isn't dumb, after all."

"No, he's not dumb but he's never went up against someone like me," Tucker smirked. I shuttered. I haven't been up against someone like Tuck.

"So, what are you going to do about Vlad? Do you know," Sam asked me now that there was nothing more we could do about Tuck.

"I need to talk to him… sober. If I can't get him to stop drinking powerless, I'm just going to keep the house. I won't risk him drinking in public."

"Yeah. No telling what kind of trouble he'd get himself into," Sam said, kind of freaked out.

"Why didn't you tell us how you got your feeling back," Tucker asked.

I took a breath. "I didn't understand it… I still don't. I think it lasts five days but I'm not sure. Vlad has been back two weeks now and he said he's used it before. I'm thinking he's used it two times."

"This week and last week," Sam asked, not buying it. "I'd bet he's used it three times. He wouldn't be able to go that first week."

I sighed. "I don't know. I'd hate to think he's drove himself to drinking." I knew Vlad was crazy but this is beyond crazy. To think what just being around him and having those shots of Jim Beam did to me. To not have any powers and do that… he's beyond wasted.

"So is that why you got drunk last week," Tucker asked. "You were around Vlad."

"That's my theory," I said softly. "I cannot imagine what he's like right now."

"We have a way to check," Tucker said softly.

I looked away sharply. Maybe I should have put that another way. "I don't want to imagine what he's like right now," I said, broken. It hurt more than I wanted to admit. It even hurt to think that it hurt. I don't even want to imagine what it's doing to Sam.

"Sam's not as hurt as you think she is," Tucker said softly. I couldn't bring myself to look at them. "He's afraid he's hurting you. You have to tell him."

"Okay," Sam said softly. "Danny, you don't have to feel ashamed. It's okay to hurt for Vlad. You're not betraying me, sweetheart."

"It's not right," I said, swallowing. "You might think I love him or something."

"I know you do," Sam said softly. "But I also know you love me more. It's okay to feel something for Vlad. He's the father of your children, Danny. You cannot hate him."

I laughed softly through the tears. "You're giving me permission to love him but ordering me not to hate him. Sam, you're more than I deserve."

"I don't think I am," Sam said softly. My shirt wrinkled and I looked up. Sam had wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned against me. "I think we deserve each other. We've both been through so much. We deserve a little happiness in our lives."

"Where is your happiness," I asked, feeling the guilt pile on. "Last week, you were babysitting me more than you were my girlfriend. I put you through so much. Why do you stay?"

"I'm not the only one who puts up with what should be too much," Sam said softly. "Why do you fight to be with me when it is so much easier to go back to Vlad?"

I smiled softly at her. "Because I love you. That's how I feel. You're who I want to be with. I don't choose Vlad. My powers choose Vlad."

"Well, for me, you just can't know how it feels to be loved by you," Sam said softly. Tucker shifted uneasily and we laughed.

"Are you okay, Tuck," I asked, chuckling.

"I just don't believe she means the mental satisfaction she gets from being your girl," Tucker said uneasily. We laughed again.

"It's more than physical," Sam said softly. "It's almost spiritual. Like I didn't know I was alive until the Disasteroid. Even before we really became a couple, my life changed. I've found who I belong to."

"Belong with," I corrected. "I don't own you and you don't own me. We belong with each other."

Tucker grunted, coming to his feet. "I'm out of here!" We smiled at him as he left.

"I don't just mean when we make love," Sam said to me, seriously. "Our sex is amazing, yes, but you do something to me for just being near you. I know what magnetism is. I feel it to you."

She meant it as a compliment or maybe as a reference but it shocked me. She is becoming a halfa. Could she be drawn to me the same way I am drawn to Vlad? Could it work that way? Could I be anchored to one ghost while another one is anchored to me? Could magnetism be felt by the one the other is drawn to? Does Vlad feel magnetism?

"Danny," Sam asked, a look of panic crossing her face. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure," I said softly, swallowing a lump in my throat. "What do you mean you feel magnetism to me?"

"Oh, Danny," Sam said, not finding it troubling. "I'm just saying that I need you. In a love fashion, not in a pull."

"You wouldn't know," I said, my voice actually breaking. Could the last three months have all been a lie? "Sam, if you feel that you can't pull away from me, tell me. That's the only sign that it's there. It can happen subtly but trying to pull away is impossible."

"Danny, I'm not drawn to you because of our powers," Sam declared. "I loved you before I got ghost powers!"

"But how much," I asked, feeling the pain lay on. This was a feeling I didn't want to feel. I wished I were numb again.

"I can't believe this," Sam declared. "I wished I had never said it!" She stood up, stalking away from me. I closed my eyes, a few tears slipping down my face. I could lose everything now. I could have never had it to begin with.

Tucker stormed into the room. "What happened?"

"Tuck, I'm scared," I said, looking to him. "I think Sam's under magnetism."

"What," Tucker declared, incredulously. "That's insane, Danny! You didn't tell her that, did you?"

"Why wouldn't I," I asked, confused and a little bit angry. "If she doesn't feel that way, she deserves to know. I wished I had known."

"Okay, one, stop saying wish. Two, Sam isn't under magnetism. Three, you need to go apologize to her. You are about to screw up the only thing in your life that is not messed up!"

"But what if it isn't real," I asked, my heart breaking. "She's still my friend, Tuck. I can't put her through this kind of pain."

"Then get off your ass and go talk to her," Tucker retorted. "Damn it, Danny, she is walking away! When she comes back, she will be your friend, not your girlfriend. You have to stop that!"

"Maybe that's what's for the best," I said softly. "If she can walk away, then it does mean she was in control."

"But it will be too late," Tucker cried. "Do you not know what you are losing? Do you not understand that Sam is walking out of your life? You have to do something, Danny! Sam will not come back. She's been hurt too many times, Danny. If she thinks you're not willing to fight for her, she's not going to put herself through anything more!"

"You don't mean since we got together, do you," I asked, swallowing hard.

"No! I mean since she fell in love with you. Watching you lust after Paulina. Being near you but unable to mutter the words 'I love you'. To feel that you could never love her! Danny, those are what hurts Sam. She will not go through that again. You better catch her or she's gone."

"Sam," I cried, running after her. I guess I understood why Vlad kept chasing me. Maybe Vlad isn't under magnetism. I just am. "Sam, please, wait," I called, taking to the air. I phased through the elevator and stopped in front of her before she reached the door. "Please, don't go."

"I'm not going to argue with you, Danny," Sam snorted. "If you think I'm under magnetism, watch me!"

"Please," I pleaded. "I need you more than anything. I'm sorry I ever upset you. I don't know. Maybe magnetism isn't as bad as I thought it was. It's a natural phenomenon in the Ghost Zone. If I can keep you in love with me, maybe it's not so bad. I know I loved Vlad while I was under it. But, please, don't go."

"Why are you so upset," Sam asked, wrinkling her forehead. "I'm just proving to you I'm not under magnetism."

"I don't care," I said urgently. "I just don't want you to go."

"You want proof," Sam declared. "Here's proof." She sidestepped me, going for the door.

"No, wait," I cried. She opened the door and walked out. "Don't leave me!"

Sam stopped. "Leave you," she asked, turning around. "What are you talking about? I'm just making a point here."

"But Tucker," I said, breathless. "He said you were done. That you wouldn't be coming back."

Tucker started laughing and I snapped my head in his direction. "That's how you lie," he started laughing. "Oh, man, that was good!"

"You dirty little rat," I declared, the panic turning to frustration. "You made me believe Sam was leaving," I declared incredulously.

"I just thought I'd have some fun," Tucker laughed. "I can't believe you bought it." He wiped his eyes, laughing some more. "Like Sam would leave you for that!"

"I can't believe you did that," Sam declared. "What did he say?"

"He said you wouldn't put up with that kind of pain anymore," I said, turning to her. "That if I was willing to fight for you, you'd stay but if I was pulling away, you would be gone and you'd only be my friend."

"I should have convinced Sam that Danny wouldn't believe her until she'd been gone a few hours," Tucker added, his laughter subsiding. "That would have been even better."

"Tucker," Sam declared. "That wasn't funny!"

"Oh, man, it so was," Tucker laughed. "The panic on Danny's face when you opened that door. He so believed you were leaving!"

"If you think that was funny, you're going to die laughing here," I said, floating beside the elevator. I fired a low-energy beam from my finger at his feet. Tucker jumped back.

"Hey, now," Tucker cried.

"You're not laughing," I teased. "You look pretty panicked to me." I shot another one.

"Cut it out," Tucker cried out, a little fearfully.

"What's the matter, it not funny now," I asked him.

"Don't make me make you," Tucker cried out, jumping back from my third beam. They were harmless. I used them to zap bugs sometimes when they were attracted to my glow at night. It might give him some red marks but it wouldn't even break the skin.

"Not so funny, huh," I asked, stopping what I was doing. I crossed my arms.

"You're despicable," Tucker playfully scorned.

"So are you," I chuckled back. "So, you're not leaving."

"Never," Sam said softly. "Well, unless you ask me to. I'm certainly not letting some fear you have that I don't feel this way destroy what we have. I just thought that you'd understand if I walked out of here that I feel this way."

"I don't care anymore," I said softly. "It's not something I can control. I need you more than I can live without you. If you are under magnetism, all I have to do is make sure you don't fall out from underneath it. You'll never know the difference."

Sam stepped to the end of the elevator and held her hand out. I took it, pulling her close to me. "This is how I feel," she whispered to me. "If that's how you want to feel, then I won't try to change your mind but I promise you, this is how I feel."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. It scared the hell out of me that she didn't really feel this way but I need her more than I need to protect her. It's not right. It's selfish. I just have to have her. I won't be me if I don't.

Tucker started laughing but his laughter was fading away. "That was awesome!"

,

I stood outside of the house for the last ten minutes before his powers would come back. I wanted to make sure he didn't slip out but I wouldn't dare go in there with him drunk. I had my mind trained on him but it was nothing like the mind I knew so well. Vlad wasn't himself. I couldn't stand to go in there with him like this. I would wait here until I felt that mind return.

Finally, I felt Vlad's mind snap back. Because I was trained on his thoughts, I sensed a flood of pain flood through him. It made me breathless. Vlad didn't want to feel this. He was at his ropes end and those three hours were the only relief he could give himself. I couldn't believe it. He's finally found a pain he don't like.

I walked in the door slowly. Vlad was throwing the empty bottles in the trash. He had only drank three and I was grateful. He had downed his first bottle in the first twenty minutes. I was afraid that was going to be a pattern.

Vlad's head snapped up and he stared at me in shock. "This is a first," Vlad said, in shock. "You usually walk out when I sober up."

"I'm not a hallucination," I said softly. "We need to talk."

"What the hell do you have to say to me," Vlad retorted. He threw the last bottle in the trash and it shattered, causing me to flinch. He was violent even though he was sober. "Go ahead and tell me how your life is perfect and you're where you belong! Tell me how you love that bitch more than me and Lilly will be her child. Go ahead, Daniel! I'm already down. You might as well kick me!"

"I don't want to hurt you," I said softly, swallowing hard.

"Well, it's too damn late for that," Vlad retorted. He plopped down in the chair but shoved the table. "Just go away, Daniel. I'm sure you can talk to me later. Now's not a good time."

"I think now is the perfect time," I said softly. I pushed the table back to where it was and took a seat beside of him. "I saw what you did. I want to know why."

"Because that's the only time you come back to me," Vlad retorted. "That's the only place I'm happy! I'm sorry it doesn't match your perfect world."

"Maybe if you just took your powers away," I asked, my eyes filling with tears. "Like you showed me."

"You took your powers away so you wouldn't have to remember me," Vlad retorted. "I take my powers away so I don't have to remember you walking out."

"You really do love me, don't you," I asked, swallowing. "It's not magnetism. It's real."

"That's how you got trapped in it to begin with," Vlad sighed. "Magnetism doesn't take hold until one person activates it. If I hadn't fallen in love with you, we would have never been together."

I nodded, painfully. It was better when I believed Vlad was just lying to himself. Now I know I'm causing him this pain.

"Why are you here," Vlad asked, looking at me. "I'm usually the one who comes to you."

"I wanted to talk to you about your problem," I said softly. Vlad laughed out bitterly.

"My problem is you," Vlad declared. "You have no idea what I've been through! This need to have you but you reject me. It's a pain I can't take. It's a pain I'm desperate to part with." He laid his head on the table, crying. "I just can't." I put my hand on his hand but Vlad snapped to me. "Don't touch me," he screamed. "I don't want your pity."

"I just want to help," I declared, urgently. "I can't stand to see you like this."

"Then come back when you've been gone for a while," Vlad said, looking to me. "Because it's been too soon since you disappeared."

"You mean when you were drunk," I said, nodding. "That wasn't me, Vlad."

"I don't want to know that," Vlad retorted. "I'm okay with how things are."

"What about Lilly," I asked, fighting tears. "Think of her."

"I finished rocking her a few hours ago," Vlad said, a few tears slipping out. "That's too fresh too."

"We can get through to her," I said, shedding a few tears. "I just need to convince her that you're not going to take her back."

"I want you to come back," Vlad said, looking to me. Tears streamed down his face. I went to wipe them away but I remembered his outburst and controlled myself. I wiped my own instead. "I miss how we used to be."

"I guess I do too," I said softly. "I can't change how I feel, Vlad, no more than you can. I woke up from magnetism. I can't change that fact."

"Woke up," Vlad chuckled bitterly. "You make it sound so bad."

I looked away. I would have said if he could come out from under it too, he'd understand but that was before I knew the truth. How do I deal with this? How do I handle knowing Vlad really loves me? How do I cope with the knowledge that Vlad will never get over this? "You could move on, you know," I said softly.

"Please," Vlad declared. "I've had countless people before and I never felt a thing. You are one of a kind. I could never find another like you."

"You don't have to find another like me," I said softly. "Just someone you could love and take care of. Someone to fill the void. I swear to you, Sam is not another you. She can't quite fit where you did."

"You haven't replaced me," Vlad asked, a smile on his face.

"I could never replace you, Vlad," I said sadly. "I wonder what could have been, too, but I'm afraid that it's over. I think you were right. When I chose not to tell my family about us, I set out to destroy our relationship. It was unintentional but if I wanted to save our relationship, I should have left with you."

"We can still do that, you know," Vlad said softly, looking at me. "Just live on the island. Lilly, you and I. That's all we need."

"That's not enough," I smiled sadly. "I made my choice that day. I can't take it back. We're living the consequences of that action."

Vlad reached across the table and took my hand. The feeling captured me and I shuttered a whimper. "Just for tonight," Vlad said softly. "Be my Danny."

"I'm with Sam, Vlad," I said, my eyes filling with tears. "I couldn't betray her that way."

"She doesn't have to know," Vlad pleaded.

"I would know," I said, shedding the tears. Vlad wiped them away, stoking my face. There was no ghost law influencing me. I was crushed beneath that burden. I would overcome this. I would move on with my life. What does Vlad have? An invention and a bottle of booze. It wasn't fair. I closed my eyes, shedding a few tears. I stroked Vlad's face with my hand, moving in. God, what am I doing?

I kissed him, crying harder. I couldn't get Sam's face out of my mind. I was betraying her more than I wanted to. The worst part, she would know what was happening. She would know I was doing this willingly too. Would she leave me for this? I came on top of Vlad and he wrapped his arms around me. He was confused but he was desperate, too; he wasn't going to question this. I felt nauseas but I continued to kiss him.

Vlad picked me up and put me on the table. It seemed to fit because this was a fling. I had refused to make love on our table but I didn't mind fucking on it. I wouldn't do it in our bed. Those days are behind us. I forced the unease away so I could focus on Vlad. I started undoing his coat, pulling it from his shoulders. I choked but I went for his shirt. Not even his taste made it worth this. I was hurting Sam therefore I was hurting myself. I could never make this up to Sam, though.

Vlad pulled my shirt over my head and the momentary stop of our kiss caused me to cry harder. Vlad came back in but I couldn't stop the tears. Vlad knew I wasn't really wanting to do this but he never offered to stop. He pushed me back on the table, coming on top of me. He unbuttoned my jeans, pushing them down. I fumbled with his belt and slacks. I couldn't focus. I couldn't breathe.

My underwear came off and Vlad turned me over. I started hyperventilating but Vlad never stopped. It was the strangest phenomenon. I have been raped by Vlad, a pain that nothing can compare to… except, when we crossed that line of no return, the pain I felt was different. It was sharp and concentrated; aimed straight for my heart. The last time sex with Vlad was painful, the pain was in back and went straight to my head. This time, the pain was unbearable in my heart.

I screamed out but I curbed it in as much as I could. The sex itself wasn't painful but I didn't find it enjoyable. I gasped in a few gulps of air and continued to cry. This was going to cost me more than I wanted to pay. Sam would never forgive me. After Vlad had his release, I hung my head. I was ashamed of what I did.

"You started out having sex on a table," a voice cut above my turmoil. "Now you've finished having sex on a table." I looked up to see Sam and Tucker clouded by my tears. "Now get the hell out of here!"

Vlad and I had yet to part but I couldn't feel embarrassed. The pain and shame of what I did dwarfed any embarrassment this brought. Vlad and I finally broke apart and Vlad brought me to my feet, stark naked. "Thank you," Vlad said softly. "I don't know what changed your mind but I understand this was the only time."

"Out," Sam declared in anger. She pointed her hand to the door. Vlad pulled on his pants and left with his coat and shirt in his hand. Tucker followed him out while Sam handed me my pants. I took them, not meeting her gaze. I pulled my pants on, not bothering with the underwear. I sat back down on the table but broke down in tears. Sam pulled out a chair. "You don't have to explain anything to me."

"What is there to explain," I said breathless. I covered my face.

"I felt it, Danny," Sam said softly.

"I know you know we had sex," I said, taking a breath. The little control I got slipped out of my hands again and I went back to crying. I know I have lost her.

"I'm not mad at you," Sam said softly. I looked to her in surprise. "I told you I felt it. I meant why you did it. You gave him some peace. I don't like it but I understand why you did it. Just don't do it again, please. It hurts."

I looked away from her, the tears falling again. How do I—why does she—? "Why do you put up with me," I asked her, my heart breaking. "How did I find someone like you?"

"I told you," Sam said softly. "You do something to me. You're worth fighting for. This isn't easy and I understand that. I'll fight for you until the end, Danny. Until I'm obliterated or you are. Until our energies are no longer there. Until we are no more."

"How does someone like you exist," I asked, my eyes filling with tears. "You put up with my crap, you are patient, you are understanding—to the point that not even I would understand—and you love me. How did I get so lucky?"

Sam smiled softly. "I don't see it that way. I think I'm the lucky one. I could never find someone like you again. I won't even try. I'm not patient. I'm not even understanding. If you didn't mean so much to me, I would have left. I know that I could never find this again, though. I know to hold onto a good thing when I have it."

"I'm so—," I started to say I'm sorry but it wasn't enough. I couldn't apologize for this. "There are no words to describe how I feel right now, Sam. I would have liked to be stronger so I wouldn't have done that. I wasn't strong enough, Sam. I couldn't—."

"It's okay," Sam said softly. "I understand. I experienced it right there with you, Danny. That's how we got here so fast. I thought he was going to push you but when we made it here, I felt your realization that you should give him something. Tucker wanted to stop it when it first began but I got him to understand."

"You were here from the beginning," I asked, swallowing hard.

"We were outside," Sam nodded softly. "I know you didn't want to do that but that part of you that loves him was too big to ignore. Vlad does have nothing, Danny. You were right. We have each other. I'm the lucky one that he screwed up. It gave me the chance to nab you."

"Are you okay, Danny," Tucker asked when he walked in. I looked to him. "He's gone."

"I'm sorry you had to see that," I said softly. I wasn't all right but I didn't have the right to say that. Sam was the one who deserved to be in pain. I acted on my own choices.

"I don't see why you'd want to do that," Tucker wrinkled his nose up. He shuttered disgustedly.

I smiled softly but I couldn't pull it off. I thought Vlad looked good. Sam looked better to me but to say Vlad wasn't handsome wasn't true.

If that's how you feel, Tucker shuttered. I'd say Sam looked one hundred percent better.

"Vlad's the only man I ever see," I pointed out. I was surprised how strong my voice was. I think I was coming out of this sorrow and depression.

"You mean you don't find any other men attractive," Sam toyed, a small smile pulling on her lips.

"No," I said pointedly. "Only Vlad."

Sam smiled at me. "Let's go home. Jazz has Lilly."

"Good," I smiled softly. We left the house.

,

I just felt so dirty. It felt so weird. After I was raped, I didn't have this impulse. I hear most people feel this way when they're raped but here I am, controlling the impulse to scrub my skin off. I would catch myself rubbing a piece of skin more times than necessary and I would have to stop myself. I haven't reached the point to where I'm scrubbing myself but I wanted to. I wanted to wash him away.

Sam had stuck around while Tuck took Lilly home with him. Sam stepped in the shower with me, taking my hand with the cloth. "It's okay," she said softly. She gently rubbed my shoulder down with the soapy cloth. She leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and rubbing the cloth down my front. "You don't have to be ashamed."

"I'm not exactly," I said softly. "I can't understand, this, though. Doesn't most people scrub themselves after rape?"

"You didn't," Sam asked, intrigued. "I scrubbed until I bled," she said softly. "I wanted to wash any signs of the C-crew away."

"I didn't," I said, holding my head down. "The first time I took a shower after I was raped, I didn't do anything. Then I took one with Vlad and didn't do anything. Even when I got back home, I didn't scrub or anything."

"I'm glad," she said softly. "You don't need to clean yourself here, either. I'll replace everything he covered." She kissed my shoulder. I turned towards her, wrapping my arms around her. She threw her arms over my neck, the washcloth still in her hand. Her lips touched mine and this felt right. She fit. We were two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly. Nothing Vlad and I done quite compares. However, our love was something completely different from the love that Vlad and I had.

Vlad understood me better. Sam can read me like Vlad could but Vlad could tell what was wrong with me from a distance. I love Sam more than words can say but she can't quite reach how Vlad touched me. I don't know if it has something to do with the different sex, but the way Vlad made me feel isn't the way Sam makes me feel. When I'm with her, I get this indescribable sense of euphoria but with Vlad, I couldn't contain it. When it was willing, I wanted the world to hear.

Then I think about when it wasn't willing. I wanted no one to hear but I screamed louder. A different kind of scream.

Maybe that's what killed our love. I couldn't get over the rape. I want to say that I never revisit those times and it's only the thirty-two hours and DALV that affect me but I know differently. I've buried it so deeply I can't feel it. It's impossible. I don't want to dig that up, though. I tried so hard to bury it. Even though I can mention it now, I don't want to. I like where it's at. I can go into a world it never happened. I can go to a world where the rape doesn't bother me and those two horrible events are pushed from my mind.

"Are you okay," Sam asked me softly. We were kissing a few moments ago but I guess she became concerned.

"Just thinking," I sighed. "Trying to understand my feelings."

"Talk to me," Sam said softly. "I promise I won't judge."

"It's not natural for me, Sam," I sighed, turning away from her. "To openly hurt you is so foreign to me."

"Don't lock us out again, please, Danny," Sam said, her voice breaking. I looked back to her to see her fighting tears. "I can't describe to you the peace your truthfulness brings. I know it hurts but believe me, I really do enjoy hearing your confessions."

I sighed, "That's because you believe you have to share my burdens."

"That's because I want to share your burdens," Sam replied. "You have to admit it helps."

"On one side it does," I sighed. "Then I see you guys' faces. It's not right."

"Talk to me," Sam asked again.

"Just comparing our love to this love," I sighed. Why do I do this? The pain crossed her face and I turned away.

"Hey," Sam said, wrapping her arms around me. "What comparison?"

"It's nothing," I sighed. Sam sighed.

"If only I could get you to see the pain that I go through when you lock us out," Sam sighed.

"I do see the pain," I turned to her. "It's less than being truthful."

"I love you, Danny," Sam whispered. "I want to help. I want to be more to you than a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes, what you need is beyond what I can give you. It's going to hurt. I can handle it, though."

"Maybe it's never been about what you guys can handle," I finally spoke aloud. "Maybe it's been about what I can't handle." I took a breath. "I'm just speculating, here. I've always felt I was trying to protect you. But maybe it's deeper." I chuckled out, the pain on the surface. "I'm becoming Jazz!"

Sam looked to me in a quick snap, "How long has it been since you've been to a therapy session?"

"A therapy session," I asked, surprised. "God," I huffed out. "Before Lilly's birth."

"That's what's wrong with you," Sam retorted. "Danny, why did you stop going?"

"I was depressed," I sighed. When I said it, I hung my head. It wasn't a big revealer, I just knew it sounded stupid and Sam was going to capitalize on that. "I know, that's even more reason to go to see Dr. Richardson. But I just couldn't. Going back to the clinic meant facing that I didn't have Lilly with me. I couldn't face them. Now, I don't know how to."

"We're going tomorrow," Sam said, absolutely no room for negotiation in her voice. I went to object but she cut me off. "Ut, no! I'm putting my foot down. You were doing better when you were going to the clinic. You will be going back!"

"How do I face them, Sam," I asked, hanging my head. Sam cut the water off, grabbing a towel from the rack.

"The same way you always face a difficult task," Sam replied. She handed me the towel but I shook my head. I turned myself intangible, allowing the water to roll off me. Sam stared at me in shock. "Wow," she said simply.

"Have I never done that in front of you," I asked with a chuckle.

"I saw when you and Tucker were covered in that milk," Sam replied. "But I've never seen you do it just for a shower."

"I'm too lazy to towel-dry," I chuckled. "I do it time to time."

"Well, I can't wait to do it myself," Sam smiled. She stepped out of the shower, wrapping the towel around her. I touched her shoulder, turning her intangible and we phased into my bedroom. We started to dress.

"Will you go with me," I asked, sighing. "I really don't want to do this alone."

"Of course," Sam smiled at me. "You just want me or do you want Tucker to come too?"

"Tuck can tag along," I replied. "I just want someone to go along. I need to have Lilly checked out anyway."

Sam finally finished dressing. She walked into my arms, "I'll go with you. You won't have to do this alone."

"Thanks," I sighed. "Let's get some sleep."

,

I was a nervous wreck. Right after school, we had decided to go to the clinic. We hadn't gone on patrol yesterday so we had agreed to not miss that. Sam had my hand while Tucker had Lilly but none of us had taken a step towards the entrance. Honestly, I was surprised the law hadn't been called by now.

"Ready," Tucker asked me encouragingly.

"As ready as I can be," I sighed. "She's going to kill me!"

"Just remember," Sam gave me a soft smile. "You're not in this alone."

"I know," I smiled back at her. I took a deep breath, looking to the clinic. "Here goes everything."

I took the first step and Sam and Tucker fell in behind me. There was no need to hide myself now. Hell, I was the supplier of the clinic now. When I took control of the building, I also took control of the duties. Every employee receives income and my office pays for the equipment. There was no need to hide now. The worst was over.

I wished that were true.

Sam followed me to the window but Tucker took Lilly to the waiting section. "Hello," Sam smiled as she waited for the receptionist to look at us. She worked here when I was last here, too. She would know me.

"Name please," the receptionist asked.

"Danny and Lilly Fenton," Sam replied. The receptionist snapped in our direction.

"Danny," she cried. I didn't know her name but everyone here knew me. "You're okay!"

"Yeah," I said, a little hesitantly. "I was reluctant to come back for a while."

"Dr. Reynolds is with a patient right now, sweetie, but you'll go back as soon as she's finished up."

"You don't have to send me back immediately," I replied softly. "I'll wait."

"I want to keep my job," she replied, still in the friendly voice. I chuckled as I walked back to where Tuck and Lilly was.

"And no last names," I informed Sam. I sighed, "Though I don't know why. It's not like they don't know who I am."

"What did you go by before," Sam asked, taking a seat.

"Just Danny," I replied. I chuckled, "Actually, I signed in the first time under Daniel. I considered a fake name."

Sam softly chuckled, rolling her eyes. I relaxed as she picked up a magazine. Tucker was playing on his PDA while Lilly was trying to play along with him. Tucker was picking with Lilly, showing her the 'proper' way to do it. I watched the two play in fondness.

"Get your butt back here," I heard a voice declare. I looked up and she looked like she could tear me to shreds. I tried to lighten the mood by putting my hand on my chest and mouthing 'me?'. She gave me a harder stare. Well, she's pissed.

"Come on, guys," I spoke up. I led them back, Dr. Reynolds stomping the entire way.

"I can't believe you," she declared. She threw her hand to the examination table. I floated up as she dug out something from under the cabinet. "I thought you had died," she declared. "I didn't hear from you. You never showed up! I just saw the ghost boy around town. I thought you died during delivery!"

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "Vlad took Lilly. I got her back two weeks ago. I wasn't myself."

Her expression changed. "Of course not," she said, softly. "I'm sorry. I thought she had been with you." She put a baby weight-station on the counter. "Can I have her," she asked Tucker.

"Here you go," Tucker said softly. He handed Lilly over.

"Hey there, baby girl," Dr. Reynolds replied softly. "This is the first time I've seen you." I covered my face as she talked to her in a baby voice. "You're so pretty."

"Thank you," I heard Lilly reply. Sam and Tucker let out loud laughs.

"She can talk," Dr. Reynolds's voice said in surprise.

"She's taught herself how to do a lot of stuff," I said, removing my hand. "She's very mature."

"I can see that," she replied, her eyes wide. "Okay," she said in a normal voice, "I think I can talk to you in a normal voice. Is that right?"

"Sure," Lilly replied. "Whatever makes you feel most comfortable?"

"Okay," she smiled. "I'm going to put you down on this, okay. It's going to weigh you."

"I know what it does," Lilly replied. "They had one on the island."

"What happened on the island," she asked Lilly as she put her on the scale.

"Daddy gave birth to me but he was really weak. I was powerful enough to heal him but I wasn't powerful enough to restore his strength. Vlad locked Daddy down and took me to another portion of the island. When Daddy escaped, Vlad removed Daddy from the island. I didn't see him for a long time."

"Did Vlad hurt you," Dr. Reynolds asked.

"No," Lilly said softly. "At least not physically. He was very patient and he always touched me with my permission. He tried to form a relationship but all I wanted was my daddy. Vlad stopped coming around after that and I had to learn how to do these things. The people on the island couldn't read my mind and I don't know how to project my thoughts. I didn't like it when they'd try to guess what was wrong. I'd be crying because I wanted out of my crib and they'd stick a bottle in my mouth."

"Vlad just abandoned her," Dr. Reynolds declared furious.

I coughed, shaking my head no. "I'll explain later," I said softly.

"Okay," she said softly. She started a chart on Lilly. "Were these people nice to you, Lilly?"

"Yeah," Lilly replied. Dr. Reynolds put on a baby blood pressure monitor. "They did the best they could. I really wanted to go home."

"I bet Daddy must have gave you a million kisses, huh," Dr. Reynolds said with a smile.

"He might have if I hadn't shocked him," she laughed. "I was fussing with one of the workers when someone suddenly ripped me out of her arms. I didn't take the time to check who was there and I sent a shock out, bringing the reunion to a screeching halt. Daddy has been great, though. Everyone has."

"How did your parents react," Dr. Reynolds asked me softly.

I took a deep breath, "I haven't told them."

"What," she declared. "You've had her for two weeks, though."

"They believe she's the daughter of a ghost couple who is under the protection of Team Phantom. I couldn't tell them I was Danny Phantom."

"But you were so for doing it," she asked, confused.

"Some things came up," I sighed. I didn't want to go back there. Right now, the magnetism took priority over everything else.

"Well, Lilly, I think you're in good health," Dr. Reynolds replied in a cheery voice.

"Of course," she smiled. "I've got the best care!"

"Now, to talk to Daddy." She turned to me. "I want to know what happened after you lost Lilly."

I took a breath. "Why? You're going to assign me to Richardson anyway."

"You became depressed," she said, no questioning at all.

"Yeah," I said, looking to her. "I'm a mess. I can't lie. A lot has happened in the last two weeks and at times, it's overwhelming."

"Okay," she said softly. "I'm assigning you to at least two sessions a week and giving Elaine the power to decide on more." I nodded. "What about physically? I know you've been suffering mentally, but what about your health?"

"I'm doing fine," I replied. "I'm not exhausted. I'm eating well. I'm not pregnant! I can't think of a time I've felt better." Sam and Tucker chuckled when I said that I'm not pregnant.

"Have you been checking your vitals," she asked me.

"They're my normal," I replied. "My vitals are actually lower than when I was pregnant."

"They would be elevated during your gestational period," she replied. She began to take my vitals. After a battery of tests she pulled out a needle.

"You can't jab him with that," Sam replied in shock. I took a breath. They weren't there when she removed that Ectoranium from my body. The clinic is amazing at innovation.

"I've done it before," Dr. Reynolds replied in a calm voice. "Nothing has happened, has it?"

"No," I replied. "They have never seen you perform these kinds of tests on me before, that's all."

"Oh," she nodded with a smile.

"They're pretty good with that needle," I smiled at Sam and Tucker. Tuck had Lilly in his arms again. "I broke the first three but they learned how to do it right."

"You have to take it incredibly slow," Dr. Reynolds replied softly. "The normal speeds we put a needle into someone's arm is too fast." She examined my arm as she talked, "The first thing to do is to find the vein. When you have it," she added in exclamation, "you put the tip of the needle on his arm. Ever so gently, you begin to insert the needle."

"Wait," I cried. She was going too fast. She slowed down, a nervous chuckle accompanying her.

"That would have been embarrassing," she chuckled. Dr. Reynolds went back to doing it painfully slow. I have considered just giving them Ectoranium needles but I'm afraid of her reaction. "How do you do it at home?"

"Mom and Dad have special needles for this job," I added in a breath.

"They're coated in Ectoranium," Sam replied. I released an aggravated sigh.

"What," she called, losing focus. The needle broke. "Why on Earth would you allow Ectoranium to touch you willingly?"

"At first, I didn't have a choice and then when I found out the way you guys do it, I still needed to do it in my ghost form, so I didn't try to change anything. Now, we discovered a way to do it painlessly. I guess since I'll be coming back here, I'll bring a box and show you how to use it."

"Absolutely not," she cried. "We'll be handling the blood work from now on!"

"It's not like you think," Tucker replied softly, balancing Lilly. "We coat the needle in something called ecto-softener now and it protects the ghosts from the Ectoranium while allowing them to have the operation."

"I'll check it out but I think that is nuts," she retorted to me. She grabbed a new needle.

"You'll see there is nothing to worry about," I smiled softly at her. I still hadn't checked Lilly's blood yet because I was afraid of subjecting her to the Ectoranium so I knew where she was coming form. Dr. Reynolds has always treated me as a son. I don't know why she views me with such importance but I understand that love. I glanced at Lilly and she gave me a smile.

We sat down on the couch and Tuck handed me Lilly. I didn't know how much I wanted her until she was in my arms. Thanks, Tuck.

Dr. Richardson looked at us, a look of disapproval on her face. "You're a mess, Danny," she said softly. "I don't even have to evaluate you to know that." She sighed. "Is that your daughter?"

I gave her a funny look. "No. I just like carrying around other five month old girls!"

"I don't need the attitude," she retorted. "What did you name her?"

"Lillian Madeline Fenton but she goes by Lilly," I replied, friendlier.

"Hello, Lilly," Dr. Richardson smiled at Lilly. "You are such a pretty baby."

"Thank you," Lilly replied. Dr. Richardson had the same reaction as Dr. Reynolds but it wasn't as gratifying. Lilly sighed, not finding the gratification here, either. "I had to learn to talk because I was left alone on Vlad's island with only mortals for three months."

"You didn't have her," Dr. Richardson snapped in my direction.

"After I gave birth to her, Vlad took her from me. When I was strong enough to take her back, he teleported me off the island and hid it from me. I just got her back two weeks ago."

"How did that make you feel," Richardson asked me.

"How do you think it made me feel," I retorted. I shouldn't have been so angry at her but she didn't look surprised. I hugged Lilly to me, taking in the calming effect she gave me. "I was bitter, angry, depressed, unfocused and heartbroken. When Vlad created the Masters's Blasters, I hit an all-time height of depression and tried to take my powers away. I nearly killed myself because I stepped back into the portal that gave me my powers."

For once, Sam and Tucker didn't hit me. Lilly hugged me tighter. I kissed her hair. "When Phantom disappeared for a few days," she asked me for clarification. I nodded. "What about you, Lilly? What was you feeling?" I was surprised. I didn't expect her to ask Lilly.

"I don't know," she said, sighing. "Why are you asking me? This is about Daddy."

"Daddy," she asked in surprise. "You call Vlad by his name but Danny Daddy."

"I have my daddy's powers of future dreams," she replied softly. "When I talked to Daddy, I pictured Mommy here. I thought Vlad was Danny, my daddy." She gave me an apologetic look.

"How is your relationship with Vlad. Lilly, you go first."

"I don't have one with him," Lilly replied softly. "I never bonded with him." I squeezed her, biting back tears. Tuck was right. She was still waiting for me and I had given up on her.

"Oh," Richardson sighed. "Okay, Danny. I assume you two are still broken up."

I sighed this time. Her eyes became accusingly. "Yes, we are officially broken up. Sam and I have become involved but the ghost law, Magnetism, has been trying to get me back with him. We've talked several times and we even had sex last night." I hung my head down.

"Vlad has picked up the habit of powering down and drinking," Sam replied softly. "Vlad isn't under magnetism. He truly loves Danny and Danny felt that it was his responsibility to give Vlad at least something for his heartache. Danny didn't want to but Vlad had no problem taking it when Danny offered."

"And you two are together," Richardson asked Sam. "How did that make you feel?"

"Oh, no," Sam retorted. "This is not about me! This is about Danny and Lilly."

"This is about Daddy," Lilly added right after Sam.

"This involves all of you," Dr. Richardson replied softly. "Even Tucker has feelings that impact his mental health. The thing with Danny is your emotions are bound to infect him more than his own. I have to take your reaction into account or I don't know how Danny feels."

"Wow," I said, surprised. "Is that why you didn't mind evaluating Vlad when I asked?"

"That's exactly why," Richardson replied. "I'll be in contact with him soon, too."

"No," Tucker and I responded at once. "Lilly can't stand to be around Vlad!"

I looked to Tucker, surprised to find I was surprised. I don't know why. He's feeling this with me. "Lilly is terrified of Vlad. She's afraid he will take her." Lilly clung to my abdomen.

"Lilly," Richardson said softly, looking to her. "Sweetheart, can you look at me."

"I don't want to see Vlad," she said softly. Her voice choked up and I picked her up in my arms, cradling her.

"I promise you, he will never take you away from me again," I replied fiercely.

"You can't make that promise," Richardson said softly. She was walking towards us. She bent down to Lilly's level which was around my chest. "Listen to me, Lilly. You have to be a part of Vlad's life. He is your father. You remember how it felt to go without Daddy, don't you? And I know you must know how much it hurt for your father to go without you in his life. Vlad must miss you, too. We need to make this balanced."

"Just hold it right there," Sam retorted. "Vlad stole Lilly! He has no right to her."

"Why do you think he's drinking," Richardson looked to Sam softly. "Vlad is a human being too. I got to know him in our therapy sessions. I've never been a fan of their relationship but I know why he needs Danny. Before he met Danny, Vlad was a heartless, emotionless monster. Now, he feels. Whatever pain you think he's in, he's feeling it ten times worst. Vlad has been reawakened and you owe it to yourselves to help him move on."

"But Danny can't deny Vlad," Tucker declared. "If they become closer, they just may reconnect."

"I didn't say it was going to be easy," she replied softly. "I want it to be supervised at first and when Danny feels like he can move on with his life, then you can make it unsupervised." Her eyes fell on Lilly. "But I swear to you, this is something you need to do. We can work on it first if you want to."

"Lilly will not be a part of this," Tucker retorted. "You can psychoanalyze Vlad all you want, but our family is moving on!"

I swallowed hard. "Do you think this isn't affecting Danny? He felt obligated to give Vlad something last night. You are trying to fool yourselves if you think Danny can walk away from Vlad. They have formed a life together that never dissolved. It will follow you through life until it's dissolved."

"This conversation is over," Sam retorted. "I can't believe you would suggest Danny and Lilly willingly interact with Vlad."

"What do you think, Danny," Richardson asked softly, looking to me. "You're awfully quiet."

I looked to Sam and Tucker. Then looked to Lilly. Her expression was so fearful. "I have to do what's best for Lilly," I said, sighing. "I have to agree with Sam and Tucker."

"You know what is best for Lilly," she accused of me, "and it's not this!"

"She's just a child," I defended.

"So were you," she retorted. "You still faced your fears and your doubts. Lilly must do the same thing! She will never be a well-rounded individual until she accepts who her real father is!"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Richardson," I said softly. "I have to do what I see as best. I don't know if it is what's best for her or not, but this is what I think is best for Lilly."

Dr. Richardson sighed disappointedly but everyone in this clinic knows once I put my mind to something, that's what I'll damn well do. I just pray I'm making the right decision here.

,

"Four times a week," I gripped as we walked down the street. Grandma and Grandpa Simmons took Lilly this evening so she could have a play date with the twins. "Can you believe her?"

"She has reason to believe you need the sessions," Sam said softly. "Do you disagree with her?"

"I think four times a week is overkill," I declared. "I'm not that bad!"

"You tried to kill yourself," Tucker retorted. "I think she may be warranted in her decision."

"I didn't try to kill myself," I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "I just nearly killed myself by doing something completely stupid."

"And the difference is what," Sam asked, jumping on Tuck's bandwagon.

"I'm not that bad," I replied with truthfulness. "Once upon a time, I may have been but I am certainly not that bad now."

"Who knows, maybe it will prove helpful," Sam said in hopefulness.

"How," I sighed. "Unless talking with her about why I should let Vlad back in will make me want him less, how does that make me any less screwed?"

"You'll be fine," Tucker said softly. "You can defeat this thing."

"I know I can," I smiled softly at him. "I just wonder what Richardson's thinking. Does she really believe any good could come of this?"

"You're not going to do anything with him," Sam said determinedly. "And I do mean nothing!"

"I'll try," I said, sighing. I still couldn't bring myself to say I'm sorry. I didn't want to be like Vlad when he showed up after Dani.

"You'll do fine," Tucker repeated. "And you'll be fine with this new therapy schedule. We'll help you along the way."

"I just refuse to allow Lilly to go anywhere near Vlad against her wishes," I added. "If she changes her mind, we'll discuss it. I really don't care if she wants to see Vlad. I just won't force her to do anything she doesn't want to."

"I don't think Vlad should have anything to do with Lilly but if that's what she wants, then she should have that right," Sam replied.

"We won't have to worry about that," Tucker said softly. "Lilly will never forgive Vlad for taking her."

,

I came home that night with Lilly on my hip. Grandma and Grandpa had delivered her to Tuck's but I had put my foot down. I've gone long enough with Lilly spending the night with someone else. She was going to spend the night at home tonight. "Daddy, this isn't a good idea," Lilly cried, wiggling in my arms.

"You are staying here tonight," I declared.

"Danny," Mom asked me softly. I looked at her in shock. "What's going on?"

"Mom," I asked, horrified. How much did she hear?

"If you had left me at Uncle Tucker's, this wouldn't be happening," Lilly declared.

"Behave," I told her. "What's up, Mom?" I tried to ask her in a nonchalant voice but it sounded strained even in my ears.

"I haven't seen you since you left for school," Mom declared. "Where were you this afternoon?"

"I went to the clinic," I sighed. "I haven't gone for a while and Sam and Tucker wanted me to have a check-up."

"Oh," Mom sighed disappointedly. She rubbed Lilly's hair softly. "I missed you, baby girl. Where were you this evening?"

"I went with Mr. and Mrs. Simmons," she said in a clear voice. "They brought me to Uncle Tucker but he won't budge," she added in aggravation.

"Well, Uncle Tucker needs his sleep as well," Mom replied softly. She turned to me. "Are you going out tonight?"

"I don't think so," I sighed. I should but I need to be there for Lilly.

"This is my point," Lilly decreed.

"I can watch her while you go out," Mom replied. "It would be my pleasure," she added in hopefulness.

"Is that okay with you," I asked, rubbing Lilly's nose.

"Sure," Lilly cried. "I like hanging out with Mr. and Mrs. Fenton."

"Well, you won't be hanging out," I said sternly. "You are going to be going to bed, young lady."

"Hand her here," Mom said, holding out her arms. I kissed Lilly tenderly and passed her to Mom.

"Behave, okay, Lilly," I told her.

"I will," she said softly. Mom held her tenderly.

"I'll take good care of her," Mom said softly.

I smiled softly, trying to hide my heartbreak. "I know you will." I rubbed Lilly's hair and headed out again. For the most part, I'm doing a lot better. I realize that I had no choice but it still breaks my heart when I see Mom and Dad handling Lilly so well and knowing that they have no idea. It's moments like now that I want to tell them everything.

,

After an uneventful night, Friday started awful early. I got up but Lilly was knocked out from the evening she had with my parents. When I came in last night, Lilly was sleeping in Dad's arms on the couch. She was still dead to the world this morning. I rubbed her hair, thinking over Dr. Richardson's proposal. I remember when it was my heart that was breaking when Vlad was keeping her from me. Do I want to put Vlad through the same thing? I sighed, kissed her cheek and went to continue my morning routine.

After dressing, I joined Mom in the kitchen. She had breakfast waiting on me but I started pushing the food around. Mom sighed. "What's wrong?"

"Something Dr. Richardson suggested last night. When she suggested it, I was against it but now I'm not so sure," I sighed.

"Well, what did she suggest," Mom asked me.

"She said that I should consider letting someone in that I have been trying to lock out," I sighed. I was so certain I would never let Vlad near Lilly yesterday when she proposed it but then I let that sliver of doubt in. Now, I'm really second guessing my decision.

"Is it us," Mom asked softly. I looked to her sharply.

"I'm not locking you out," I declared, surprised. "I mean, yeah, I'm keeping secrets from you but I'm not trying to lock you out. I'm just trying to deal with my decision to erase those memories from you."

"Why don't you try to find a way to allow us to remember again," Mom asked me softly. I grew nauseas, pushing my plate away.

"Because I'm already fighting the urges to return those memories," I sighed. "You don't know how much I miss her. How much I miss that closeness we had."

"I may not remember it as clearly as you do, but I do know how much you miss it. I miss it just as much," Mom said, tears clouding her eyes like mine.

Why? I wanted to scream at her and beg her to tell me why she had to screw this up but I bit back my tongue. It wouldn't be right. She doesn't remember that world. She wouldn't have those answers. I still couldn't help myself. "You had to worry about the wrong thing. You overreacted over the stupidest thing when I could really use your help now."

"It's not too late," Mom said urgently. "I swear, s-she will understand." Mom choked over the pronoun, not quite understanding that there is a difference.

"I know she will understand. I know I could change my mind. But the fact remains that you're not ready. If I return those memories, you will react the same way. You cannot change this reaction. As long as you take it seriously, you will react this way."

"I guess you're right," Mom sighed, surprising me. "As long as I'm breathing, I'll always take it seriously. You are my baby and you always will be."

"I'm sorry it can't work," I said, looking away to control the tears. "You have no idea how sorry I am." I took a shaky breath and stood up. "I'm sorry. I just don't have the patients to force myself to eat. I'll see you later."

"Love you," Mom said softly.

"I love you, too," I said back with a sigh. I didn't doubt loving her. I just go through a period of times that I think maybe I shouldn't. It'd hurt a hell of a lot less.

,

The only place that wasn't seemingly out to get me was school. I had feared the blocks last year but it was turning out to be not so bad. We were still behind for where we needed to be but the teachers Samuels's had hired has been helping with how the students react to a ghost attack. Most of the ghosts who used to attack the school have moved on to new places but herein lies the new problem. New ghosts have targeted the school. And these ghosts are adapting to the ghost hunters.

So instead of having Box Ghost, Lunch Lady, Johnny, Kitty or the Dork of Darkness attacking mostly with a few strange ghosts attacking occasionally, I have a new army attacking the school with the old ghosts attacking the mall or waiting for the evening routines. While the old ghosts are still a nuisance, the newcomers are proving to be dangerous. I have at least three attacks that go undetected but my old score of only one or two a day noticed has long vanished. Now, I'm lucky to get four a day that my peers don't know are on the premises.

We were in second block and we have already had six ghost attacks. So far, all of them have been exposed so if I'm lucky, I'll get two that aren't today. I have gone entire days with every attack known. Second block is English with Mr. Lancer. All my classes are with Sam and Tucker but when the classes swap in two weeks, we will be separated for all but one class. That is going to suck.

Mr. Lancer was droning on about some literature work or another but I was far from listening. I was trying to prevent myself from thinking about the debate around Tuck. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and I could see him looking at me. I pushed the debate as far from my mind as possible.

"What debate," Tucker asked me softly. Sam glanced at us but no one else took notice. Believe me, if they had heard anything, it would have caught their attention. We're not celebrities but we're not invisible anymore. Thank God we're not neon signs anymore, though.

"Don't worry," I whispered. "I'm trying to keep that from you, remember."

"What," Sam asked softly.

"He's debating something but he won't let me see what," Tucker whispered to Sam, leaning towards her. At least he's not using telepathy to take the place of talking. "Ha, ha," Tucker mocked.

"I'm just trying to keep some things private," I said softly. "I'm not trying to lie to you guys anymore. I'm just trying to designate some parts of my life as private."

"Good luck," Sam sighed, reclining in her desk.

"How did you deal with him," I chuckled softly, reclining in my desk as well so I could be next to her.

"I usually abuse him," Sam gave me a smile. "He gets it when I'm beating the living daylights out of him."

"Well, I don't really want to abuse him," I chuckled. "That's you guys' thing."

"Yeah, it is," Sam smiled, now looking at Tucker.

"It's more like her thing," Tucker muttered, reclining as well. "I just have to endure it."

"You're not wrong," Sam chuckled. I tried listening to Mr. Lancer but I just couldn't concentrate. All of my energy was on keeping the debate from Tucker. Although, I just wished I could forget wanting to debate it at all.

I sighed, pulling out my cell phone and hiding it beneath my desk. I sent a text to Mom, asking her how Lilly was. My cell phone was on silent mode so it would not alert anyone else except maybe Sam and Tucker. As Mr. Lancer continued to drone on, I heard my phone vibrate. I flipped it open and pulled it out just far enough to glance at the screen.

She's fine. Pay attention in school!

Just like always. I shut my phone and returned it to my pocket. I wouldn't be able to pay attention, though. There was too much to consider. Besides, a ghost is expected any moment now.

,

It took longer than I expected, but my ghost sense did eventually go off. I took out of Mr. Lancer's class as fast as I could, hoping that I could keep this one a secret. Every attack today has been exposed and I was hoping that this class wouldn't be disrupted again. I ran into a closet and transformed, going after the ghost. Let this be the attack where my luck turns around!

These ghosts don't fool around. They know the competition they face and they're not too concerned with playing. They are nowhere near as bad as my nighttime ghost routines but they aren't the school ghosts of last year. I finally came across the ghost and I was taken by surprise. This one was a girl.

"Hi," I said, taken aback. She gave me a cold stare and I knew this wouldn't be easy. I hate the girl ghosts. Every one of them have given me problems. Why would I think this one would be any different? "Look," I said softly, "I don't want any trouble. What are you after?"

"What do you think," she gave me a scary-looking smile. She's addicted. "What are you after?"

"To protect my town," I said softly. I would like to think that I've learned a lot in the last year and a half since I got my powers. Being obnoxious and loud has only gotten me problems. I have tried taking the gentle approach and then add the muscle.

"I won't harm your town," she said, smiling that same smile. "All I want to do is snack a little. I'll go then."

"I protect more than the property," I added pointedly. Actually, I damage the property more than the ghosts do. At least they can't touch it. I don't hit things unexpectedly anymore but I still need to stop myself somehow. I'm trying to learn to stop falling effortlessly but it's not so easy to do when you're in the moment.

"Then we have a problem," she said, her smile turning into a frown. "Are you going to try to stop me?"

I sighed. "No. I will stop you."

"Ha," she snorted. "You have no idea who you're dealing with!"

I gave her a smile, "Oh, no, sweetheart. You don't know who you're dealing with!"

"We'll see," she smiled back. She looked to one of the classrooms and I could sense the children inside. They weren't exactly children. They were Juniors. "If you know what's best for you, you will back off." She lifted her hand and I reacted. I tackled her but the blast still escaped. Instead of flying through the door, it went through the wall. I heard the screams.

A smoking hole stood in the once in-tact wall. I looked up, partly in anger and partly in fear. I could see the students clambering out of their seats. The ghost kicked me off her and I fell through the floor. Come on, come on. Float up. Finally, I stopped falling and took towards the ceiling of the ninth grade floor. When I made it back in front of her, the warning lights started going off. "Damn!"

"You didn't have to do that," she retorted. "This is your fault."

"I hate you new ghosts," I declared. I put my hands together, firing at her. "No matter how many times I face you, I can't get used to these attacks. Do you know how many attacks I kept hidden last year? Less than how many of you are exposing your attacks this year!"

"You were here last year," she asked me, puzzled. "I just started seeing you around in the last few months."

"You've been around before," I asked, my turn to be puzzled. "This is the first time I've seen you."

"Then you aren't as observant as you thought you were," she smirked. "I'm not the only one attacking right now. Why would only one of us attack? It's my turn to be the distraction while the others feed."

"You haven't," I declared. I sent my mind out to the surrounding areas and I could sense about three ghosts in different pockets of the school. "There's four of you!"

"Very good, child," she smirked. "Now you're getting it."

"Thanks for telling me," I added, far from grateful. I do owe her but she won't be receiving any payment from me.

"Even after you capture me, I'll still win. There are trillions of us. How many are there of you?"

A shot rang out and she went flying away. "Enough," Sam declared. "Bitch!"

"Are you guys okay," I asked, seeing Tucker and Sam running up to me.

"We're fine. I was listening in," Tucker commented. He rested his ectogun on his shoulder. It wasn't very surprising now that I think about it. We were right over top of Mr. Lancer's classroom although we were two floors above it. The English classes were still held with Mr. Lancer and his classroom is on the ninth grade floor.

I put my attention back on the ghost. She came to her feet, barely able to touch something of this world. "Where did you brats come from?"

"We're Team Phantom," Tucker declared. "You got a problem with that!"

"It's only supposed to be the child," she sneered. "You humans were never a part of the equation."

"You miscalculated," Sam retorted. I smiled. "First, we're going to cap your butt and then we'll track down your three friends. I'll give you the opportunity to surrender now, though."

"You won't catch me off guard again, sweetie," she retorted.

"Watch me, honey," Sam snorted. Tucker got his weapon primed as I powered up my hands.

"It's three against one," I smirked. "Are you sure you don't want to take Sam's offer?"

"You're just children," she smirked right back at me. "They're teenagers and you're not even two. What do I have to fear?" We started laughing.

"Don't say we didn't warn you," Tucker chuckled, aiming his weapon. I released my energy at the same time as Sam and Tucker. It wasn't fair. One of us against one of them was unfair. All of us against just one of them was insult to injury.

She dodged my attack and barely turned intangible for Sam's but Tucker caught her by surprise. We used our weapons only to get closer. Once we were upon her, she could try to turn intangible all she wanted. That was our specialty.

One blast after another led us to the physical contact we craved. The ghost thought she'd be cute and turned intangible when Sam went to hit her. The ghost was still wearing the cocky grin when Sam slammed her knee into her core. The grin vanished, needless to say.

"Thought I couldn't hit a ghost, darling," Sam sneered. "Guess again!" Sam and the ghost got into a contest that the ghost was far outmatched for. Tucker and I sat back, allowing Sam to take point. It's not like either of us were willing to get into a competition with a woman. We would, but it wasn't our favorite competitions. I liked the good fighters, male or female, and Tucker enjoyed the physically imposing ones.

After Sam weakened her enough, the ghost looked up tiredly. "I don't understand. You're just a human. I'm certain of it. How could you hit me?"

"How do you touch objects of this world," Sam smirked. She pulled the thermos out. "I hope you enjoyed yourself. Please come again." She captured her. "Not!"

"That's my girl," I smiled. Sam handed me the thermos, a little pep in her walk. I returned it to my human form.

"Did I do good," Sam asked me, a playful look in her eyes.

"Perfect," I smirked. I wrapped my arms around her, giving her a kiss.

Danny, Tucker screamed in my head. I looked up to see a bunch of surprised students. Oh, crap!

"Um," I coughed, trying to calm myself down. Tucker's face still held that absolute terror. How was I going to get out of this mess I was in?

AN: Sorry for the very late update last night and the two-hour late update today. I will try to be more consistent in my updates, I swear.

This chapter is darker than the rest of story. Thank goodness it doesn't last long. If I bummed any of you out earlier, I am sorry. I am quite proud of the work I did with the numbness scene. I don't know about anyone else, but for me, I can feel Danny's pain. That's all I want as a writer. I hope you felt that crushing pain too as you read it. It's important to understand how Danny felt at the time and more importantly, why he done what he did at his and Vlad's house. To understand how Danny felt in that moment is to understand how Danny perceives Vlad's emotions at the house.

Next update will be Tuesday, October 9, 2012. I hope you will return! Drop me a line if you have time.

Team04Phantom