Teen Titans: Never Alone

First: Let me just say OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU ALL! ...well, all of you who don't apparently like slashy angst and thus don't read the other story I've been working on, which is totally cool, except for the fact that that story is awesome and... yeah. But I did miss you guys who don't review there! Sorry I spent so long not writing this story... Aren't you spoiled now? Two updates in two days? Wow!

Second: Stop being distracted by frivolous authors notes and just read! xP

Chapter 14: Embrace

Well, now… this is awkward…

Well, maybe awkward wasn't the right word… but it was definitely uncomfortable, sitting in silence in the room adjacent to the hospital ward, where Starfire and Cyborg were trying to calm down the manic Boy Wonder. Beast Boy shifted uneasily, rubbing the back of his head, periodically glancing at the girl next to him, not sure what to say, or even whether or not he should say anything.

Raven hadn't moved a muscle since she'd first sat down on the floor. Her eyes were closed like she was meditating, but she wasn't floating like she ordinarily would. She cradled her injured arm to her chest, and though it was mostly hidden by the folds of her cloak, Beast Boy could see a glimpse of the damage done - the purpling skin, lumps where lumps shouldn't be. It twisted his stomach, made him feel sick. He couldn't believe Robin had done that to her – with one hand, no less. It just didn't seem possible, even now. How could the Titan leader injure one of his own teammates? One of his own friends? Was he really that crazy…?

A cry from the next room pricked his ears, and he shot to his feet, out of habit more than anything. A Titan, through and through, quick to attention, ready to fight, his heart hammering inside his chest. He realized with a jolt that it'd been Cyborg that had cried out this time, like he was hurt. Had Robin attacked him now, too?

Robin's shouts began to filter in from the other room. "Are you afraid now?" he hollered "Don't you get it? I'm not safe! I'm unstable! I hurt her!"

Beast Boy had almost reached the door when a soft voice rooted him to the spot. "Don't, Beast Boy. Just let them handle it." He turned where he was, glancing over his shoulder at the small figure on the floor, obscured by her purple cape.

"But…" he began, then stopped. But what? What would he do? What could he do that Starfire or Cyborg couldn't do perfectly fine on their own? He looked back at the door, still able to hear voices on the other side, lower now, barely audible. He swallowed hard, turning back to the female Titan in the room with him. The need to do something, anything, was overpowering.

Raven had opened her eyes, looking at him as though to say "sit down." Beast Boy watched her a long moment, lost in silent awe. She was so calm, so collected, even with her arm so completely broken. He knew if he'd been in her place, he would've been swearing and whining so badly everyone in the Tower would've been sick of him.

He caught a glance of her arm again, his stomach twisting once more inside his rib cage as he slowly made his way back over to her, sitting beside her, glancing up at her with worried eyes just as she let her own fall closed again. He merely watched, with that same awestruck gaze, thinking over the whole night, the whole week, everything that had happened. How messed up everything was, between all of this with Robin… and then Malchior…

"May I help you?" she suddenly asked, peeking through one lid with an air of annoyance, as though able to sense him watching her – or maybe she actually did sense it, he realized with a leap of his stomach.

"I just…" he glanced at her arm again. It looked like it was only getting more swollen, and it looked painful. "Let me just put that in a splint or something."

"I'm good."

"Come on. It'd give me something to do…"

"You really think that in order to cure your restlessness, I should let you mess with my broken arm?"

Beast Boy couldn't hide the stung look from his face. "Come on, I'm not that… um… what's the word? Uncapable…?"

"Incompetent?"

"Yeah, that o—" he froze, and felt his stomach plummet through the floor to the basement. He frowned, and hunched his shoulders. "You picked that word out way too quickly."

"I read a lot of books… vocabulary is something I'm good at…"

Beast Boy just scowled, and glanced away. The room lapsed into uncomfortable silence, Beast Boy sulking quietly. He jutted his lower jaw out, mulling everything over in his head again. With a strike of determination, he shot to his feet, heading over to one of the cabinets along the walls and rummaging through them.

"What are you doing?"

"Showing you I'm not incompetitive."

"…incompetent."

"Yeah, that." He managed to find some ace bandages, and after a moment contemplating how important it was or how easily it could be fixed, he pried away a thin shelf from one of the cupboards, turning into a bear so he could easily snap it into two forearm-length pieces.

"Please, Beast Boy…"

"Just humor me," Beast Boy grumbled as he shifted back to human form, cradling his scavenged items in his arms as he made his way toward her. She frowned darkly, still clutching her arm.

"I said I wouldn't let anyone help me until Robin tells us what's happening."

"Robin's not here. He doesn't have to know. And it's not like I'm fixing it completely. Cyborg's the one who does stuff like that. I'm merely providing some basic first aid."

Raven still looked entirely unconvinced, but suddenly sighed in defeat, carefully releasing her hold on her arm. "Just note that if you mess up and hurt me, you are going to find yourself hurtling through the nearest wall."

"I'll be gentle then," he replied with a nervous smile, reaching out and tenderly taking her injured arm in his hands. He couldn't help but wince a little at seeing the full extent of the damage, and he tried hard to not directly touch the fractured bones. He set to work with the boards, carefully sandwiching her arm between them and with slow, focused movements, began to wrap the bandages around them.

At one point she hissed a little, and he froze, glancing up nervously. "Sorry, did I—"

"No, it's fine…"

Beast Boy just watched her a moment more, half expecting to be thrown through the nearest wall as she'd threatened, and half just wanting to make sure she was alright. She avoided his gaze, staring at his hands as they went back to work. He realized how tired her expression was, how sad even. He swallowed hard, turning his attention back to her arm, lest he mess up somehow.

"Look, Raven, I…" he began, then stopped, as though trying to piece his words together just right. He swallowed, his gaze flickering up to her just a moment before returning to what he was doing. "I'm sorry."

"For what? You weren't the one who broke-"

"No, not this. Malchior." He looked up at her in time to see a flinch of sorrow flash across her face, as though she'd forgotten and the mere mention had brought it all back. That one look almost silenced him, but he found himself still talking. "I'm sorry he… broke your heart."

Raven blinked a few times, and looked right at him. Beast Boy felt his chest seize up. He didn't think he ever saw an expression like that in her face before. He could nearly see her broken heart through her violet eyes. She finally glanced away, once again focusing on his hands bandaging her arm.

"I know it was all a lie," she murmured quietly, almost to herself. "But he was the only person that made me feel like I wasn't... creepy. And don't try to tell me I'm not."

"Okay, fine. You're way creepy…" Beast Boy shot her an apologetic look, shrugging his shoulders a little before continuing on, more seriously. "But that doesn't mean you have to keep yourself locked up in your room."

He paused to tie a knot in the bandages, carefully smoothing them and setting her hand gently down on her knee. "You think you're alone, Raven. But you're not."

She didn't respond, her gaze far away as his words churned over inside her head. Beast Boy watched her carefully, and for a moment, wondered if maybe he'd said the wrong thing.

But suddenly, he found his weight doubled, a corner of wood pressing into his back as her arms wrapped around his neck in a hug. His brain flashed a "Does Not Compute" error, his arms splayed absurdly behind her as her grip tightened. He could practically sense all of the emotions pouring from her, could almost feel her heart beating against his chest… and that thought alone made him blush. Once his mind seemed to restart, his hands fumbled stupidly for her shoulders, gripping her and prying her away clumsily. She settled back on her heels, looking up at him with a strange expression, somewhere between touched and embarrassed. Beast Boy felt his cheeks burning, and he opened his mouth, hoping words would form that didn't make him sound like idiot.

But he didn't have a chance to say anything, the moment suddenly broken by a strangled yell through the door behind them. They both turned in unison, eyes wide at the door as they heard the sounds of struggling, Starfire and Cyborg shouting Robin's name over the boy's sudden shrieking.

"Don't touch them! Don't hurt them! Slade, please! Please stop!"

"Calm down, Robin! He's not here, nothing's going to happen!"

"Please Robin! Listen to us!"

Beast Boy hadn't noticed himself getting to his feet, hadn't realized he'd placed himself between Raven and the door, as though Robin would suddenly leap out and try to attack her again. He watched the door with breathless vigilance. The sounds coming from the door, from Robin, made the hairs all along his spine stand on end, like a frightened cat.

What the hell is going on…? he wondered, a cold drop of sweat dribbling uncomfortably past his ear as the shrieks began to whither and wane, becoming more like dying moans. Robin, what the hell has happened to you, man…?

As the Tower settled back into troubled silence, he turned to look at Raven. The girl looked just as unsettled as he felt, her face the palest he'd ever seen it. Her violet gaze flickered to meet his, and he could see the worry in her eyes, the uncertainty. It only served to escalate own dread.

After what felt like hours of waiting, the door finally snapped open, Cyborg sauntering in, looking stern and serious.

And before the door closed behind him, the changeling managed to catch a glimpse of the room beyond. The sight of Robin's head sticking out of a stark white straitjacket… fastened to the bed with straps, crying weakly with Starfire sitting beside him, trying to comfort him…

…good God, he was crying…

The doors slammed closed, hiding the scene from view. Beast Boy blinked a few times, and before he realized it, his own voice was breaking the silence. "What the hell happened…?"

He turned to Cyborg, and was mortified to see the deep incision carved into the metal plating on his chest. His eyes widened to their full extent. "Dude…" he rasped, tapping the spot with a outstretched finger.

"Knock it off," Cyborg grumbled, smacking his hand away.

"Did Robin…?"

"It doesn't matter. What does matter is figuring out what's going on, and how we can help him. We need answers."

"Did he tell you anything?" Raven was getting unsteadily to her own feet, standing beside Beast Boy, holding her bandaged arm to herself with her cloak falling closed over her. Cyborg sighed, and shook his head regretfully.

"We didn't get that far… I had to sedate him…"

That explains why the screaming stopped like that… Beast Boy thought, another chill coursing through him.

"So what now?"

"For now, it's like I said. We need to find answers on our own. Do a little digging. There must be some clues in his room or his lab, something to help us figure out exactly what we're dealing with, here."

"Are you saying this is different from before?" Beast Boy spoke up dully. "Different from the mask dust?"

Cyborg nodded quietly. "The lights were on, Bea, and Slade was still there. This is completely different from the dust. It's worse." He paused to swallow, glancing between them. "I just need some answers, some understanding of what Robin has been hiding from us this whole time. Because from what I can tell at this point… it's not looking good…"

"You sound like you've already figured some things out…" Raven muttered pointedly.

Cyborg shifted uneasily in place. He glanced at the door out of the corner of his eye, releasing a heavy exhale. "All I know is, he has bandages he didn't have before..."

No one spoke for a long moment. Raven bowed her head, her face vanishing in the shadow beneath her cloak. Her hand lightly grazed along her splinted arm. "I can delve into his mind," she murmured quietly. "See what I can figure out."

"I want you to hold off. Even with him restrained, we know from before that you can be hurt without him physically touching you. Besides… I think Robin needs some rest… and so do you." He looked at her arm pointedly, and though he seemed a little surprised by the bandages, didn't say anything about them, merely glancing between her at Beast Boy a second, as though piecing it all together. Finally, he gestured. "Come on, Bea. I need your nose."

"Oh… okay…" Beast Boy moved to follow, but found himself hesitating, glancing at Raven as though unsure he wanted to leave her alone. She merely looked back, a strange, relaxed smile on her face. Cyborg was already moving to the door, and Beast Boy knew if he didn't move now, the older Titan would only get irritated. He forced a curt, awkward nod at the girl before him, then headed for the door.

"Thanks, Beast Boy," she suddenly rasped behind him, just before he reached the exit. He spun to look at her again, but she had already turned away, sitting cross-legged in midair with her back to him. He watched her for only a moment, wondering if he'd only imagined her words, before spinning on his heel and hurrying to catch up with Cyborg.

The only sound in the room was his slow, ragged breathing. But it was a welcomed sound – at least he wasn't screaming anymore… or hyperventilating… or crying…

The soles of Starfire's purple boots drifted a foot from the ground, the pressure of the mattress on the back of her knees causing her toes to fall asleep, but she didn't care. Her sorrowful gaze remained fixated on the boy beside her, barely allowing herself to blink as she combed her fingers gently through his hair, listening to him breathe. Every so often, he would shift a little, his eyelids fluttering as he struggled against the hold of the sedatives, but he always settled back into his pillow, eyes closing once more, maybe muttering something incoherent under his breath.

She was scared. She was absolutely scared beyond wits by everything that was happening to her friend. She didn't know what to do, what to think of any of it. And her heart ached endlessly inside her chest as she recalled the day's events – finding Robin unconscious at the bottom of the hole in the tower, the look on his face as he realized the extent of his own madness, his screams as they tried to tie him down to the bed, so violent he'd become that Cyborg had to stick a needle in his neck…

She shivered, her eyes snapping shut and head shaking as though trying to catapult the memory from her mind. With a sigh, she looked back down at him, watching her knuckles slowly brush over his cheek, her thumb grazing the soft strands of hair by his ear.

Why is this happening to you, Robin? she wondered desperately, icy grief choking her veins.

His head suddenly twisted a little from where it poked out of the white jacket, a groan leaping from his throat as a flinch struggled across his face. Starfire pressed her hand more firmly against his cheek and jawline, as though to assure him that she was there with him.

"It is okay, Robin," she murmured in a hushed, gentle voice, like one would tell a sleeping child. "I am here. Everything is going to be all right."

His breathing was growing shallow again. Starfire twisted in her spot, her other hand grasping at Robin's arm through his white imprisonment. She followed the contours of his forearm, the little bump that indicated his wrist, and the concave curves as his arm transformed to fingers. She dug her own fingers into the fabric, gripping his hand as best as she could, her other hand still firm on the side of his face. "Everything is going to be all right," she repeated, combing his hair down a little with her fingertips.

His fingers flexed under hers. His eyes fluttered open, unfocused as they centered on her. His body shook minutely, a spasm of anguish in his face as he watched her.

"I'm sorry," he sputtered. He screwed his face up, teeth baring as though fighting away some terrible pain. "I'm so sorry."

"Please, Robin. There is no need to be sorry. This is not your fault."

"I never wanted this… I didn't want you to ever see me like this…"

Star honestly didn't know how to respond to that. She squeezed his hand a little tighter, rested the palm of her other hand on his forehead as she racked her mind for something to respond, finally settling on "I know, Robin… I know."

He shifted under his restraints. Starfire glanced down on him. His arms securely wrapped in the white coat, arms crossed over his torso like some strange kind of hug. Leather straps wove in and out of the tangle of limbs and fabric, over his lap and around his legs and ankles, securing him to the bed so tightly he could barely move. It looked so uncomfortable, and it pained her as even she admitted to herself it needed to be this way. Just for now. Just until they could help him before he hurt anyone else… or hurt himself…

"…why do you keep calling me that…?"

The faraway lilt to his voice brought her attention back to him. She stared down at him in concern, swallowing hard. "What do you mean…? It is what I have always called you…"

His face shuddered, shaking slightly. "You never called me Robin… you were gone before I ever…"

Understanding crept in, and she felt her heart seize with horror. She leaned in. "Robin. Who am I?"

He blinked at her, his distant gaze wavering as though trying to remember. He suddenly burbled something like a laugh, as though the very question was silly. "What are you talking about…?" he asked, his voice cracking with childlike frailty. "…you're my mom."

Starfire felt all her breath disappear as she stared down at him, her stroking hand falling still in the air beside his head. His gaze pierced her through his mask, wavering with something like expectancy, or certainty. Starfire felt tears burning, watering her vision a little.

He never spoke of his mother. He never spoke of parents, of family, of any life before the Titans. She'd always found that so odd, as she'd always found herself talking of her home planet, of her gnorfka, even of Blackfire… but Robin never did. Sometimes she'd wondered if maybe Robin just didn't want to remember any of that… didn't want to remember that there was a boy without Robin's name… the one called whatever his mother had called him.

And Starfire's heart hurt terribly for him. The way he looked at her, the way he spoke… the way he'd never mentioned her before… it was very clear what had happened to his mother.

Robin's face suddenly twitched, his conviction replaced with doubt, almost dread. "…you are… aren't you…? Or… is this just…"

Starfire couldn't say a thing. She could see Robin begin to curl in on himself as understanding began to grab hold. Tears began trickling down his cheeks again, and he pressed his eyes tightly closed, his body shaking with silent crying. "…I just miss you…" he whispered hoarsely.

Starfire took a deep, shuddering breath, lightly sweeping some wayward strands of hair from his forehead as she leaned in. A small idea scratched at her attention, and wouldn't let go. "Just listen to me…" she murmured in a soft, tender tone. She hesitated a moment, wondering how to approach this, wondering if it was even a good idea. Before she'd even really decided, she was already speaking again. "I… I may not be here, but your friends are. They will do anything for you. They will do everything to figure this out, but they need you to help them. You have to trust them."

Robin slowly opened his eyes, peering through heavy lids up at her. She tried to smile, but the effect was worn a bit. Robin leaned into her hand a little bit, nuzzling it like a lonely tabby.

"I do trust you guys, Star…" he suddenly croaked, making her freeze with guilt, especially as he shot her a knowing little smile. "But I can't believe you just did that…"

"I'm sorry, Robin, I thought you were still—"

"It's okay… it was kinda funny…. Besides, it's not like I've been very truthful to you, lately…"

She could only gape down at him in astonishment, watching with a heavy heart as he sighed, closing his eyes as he rested his head against her hand again. His form went blurry behind tears, and Starfire wondered why she was crying now, why her heart ached so hard. She pulled in a breath and held it, trying to stay her emotions, trying to be strong like she'd always been before. She squeezed his hand through the sleeve of the strait jacket, swallowing hard.

"Everything I said was the truth, though, Robin… please, put trust in us. We only want to help you. We only want to see you get better."

"I know…"

He didn't say anything else. His shaking had begun to ebb, his body slumping into the surface of the mattress. She felt his hand relax beneath her grasp, and she realized that the drugs must have overpowered him once more. She watched his face quietly, watched it relax into something much more peaceful.

And for a moment, she almost leaned in and kissed him on the head, much like a mother would… much like she wished his mother could… but she held back.

Robin's mother… she thought numbly, resting her other hand protectively on Robin's forehead. I promise you, I will protect your son where you cannot… I promise we will make him well.

"Dude, and I thought my room was messy…"

"Less talking, more sniffing."

Cyborg rubbed his neck as he looked around the chaos-riddled laboratory. If he had hairs there, they'd be standing on end. Robin never allowed his space to get messy like this. Sure, sometimes when he's more focused the table tops would be littered with projects or papers, but it looked like someone had torn the place apart, drawers ripped from places, stuff scattered all over the floor. Broken glassware, crumpled papers…

It would've seemed truly terrible, if they hadn't visited his bedroom first. The recollection of the broken mirror, the red-stained bathroom, the bloodied and torn costume, still brought chills to his spine.

He shifted uneasily where he stood, not really sure where to start. His gaze fell into the paper basket beside him. He bent double, pulling out and uncrinkling a transparency, inked to show various views of Robin's brain. Even in the dim light of the room, he could tell there was nothing abnormal to be seen in the scans.

"He was really thorough about all this…" he murmured quietly, glancing up at Beast Boy, who was rummaging through the mess as a green-furred beagle, his nose sniffing loudly. His tail hung between his legs, his ears droopy as he sniffed his way around the table, half out of sight. Suddenly, he yelped, his hair and tail sticking straight from his body before staggering back, morphing back to normal and rubbing his nose.

"What happened?" Cyborg gasped, hurrying over, careful not to step on anything under his feet.

"Who the hell leaves something that sharp right there?" Beast Boy stammered before mumbling some choice swears to himself. Cyborg glanced around at the shattered glassware, then knelt down where the changeling had been snooping, craning his large body awkwardly to see under the lab table.

His body seemed to freeze cold as he found himself staring down the shaft of a long, sharp needle.

"Robin, you didn't…" he whispered to himself, reaching under the table and pulling out the familiar long needle, holding it up in his outstretched hand. He glanced at Beast Boy, and could see the blood draining from his face, turning his green skin a mottled gray

"…that's one really big needle…" he floundered dumbly, backing away a few inches.

"It's made to puncture and draw fluid from a spinal cord…" Cyborg muttered coldly, more to himself than to Beast Boy. He turned the long syringe over. There was no indication that it'd been used – the blood on the tip was fresh, from where it'd prodded Beast Boy, but it was only on the tip. The rest of the needle seemed pristine, and the syringe's reservoir was empty.

But its very existence in the lab was enough information for him. "He lied… he really was prepared to do it…"

"Do what? That?" One could see the willies passing through the young changeling, his face twisting with the disturbing thought.

Cyborg once more thought back to the scene in the other room. The ripped and bloodstained clothes in his closet… the piles of broken, bloodied glass in the soapdish of his shower…. Cyborg crouched to look more closely at the broken glass on the floor, looking for any sign of blood here, too

After a few seconds, he felt a twinge of paranoia, like someone was watching him. He looked up, his eyes falling on a familiar masked face. Slade. He was staring at him from every direction, his likeness recreated in countless of snapshots taped to the laboratory's walls. They were haunting, a continual reminder of their past with him.

And he thought of how much time Robin had spent in this room over the months. How long the memory of Slade had surrounded him, watching everything he did…

Cyborg forced his gaze away, swallowing hard. "See what else you can find…" he murmured to Beast Boy. He dropped the syringe in a plastic bag and placed it carefully on the bare counter beside the unwrinkled brain scan. He glanced between the two clues, and wished, with everything he had, that they found better answers than this. Because these weren't answers… they were just more questions.

There has to be something… he thought desperately, almost prayed. He bent down and began rifling through the mess on the floor, overturned drawers and broken glassware. No one just goes insane…

…unless the insanity had always been there… and the dust just finally…

The malicious one-eyed stares from the wall bore into him where he crouched, and he swallowed hard. He refused to believe any of that. Robin wasn't insane… not like that… there had to be something else, something they were missing… There had to be some way to undo the damage to his mind. No one just goes insane like that…

…right?

A/N: Dudes, you didn't think I could take away my favorite BB/Raven scene in the entire series, did you? Not only did I figure out a way to keep it in, I made it BETTER! BOO YAH!

….and the rest is just filler because I felt I had to. XD I couldn't make a chapter just BB/Raven fluff, even though I love them so… hope the rest of the chapter still works. I feel like I might be dragging things along a little slow, but I personally don't mind, and I hope you guys don't either. The other Titans needed their viewpoints shown, amiright?

I haven't responded to reviews yet because this site is a TARD and I haven't been getting any emails! x_x I should just move to Archive of Our Own, I swear… (oh, btw, check out Archive of Our Own thru a google search. I firmly believe it will be the Firefox to fanfic dot net's Internet Explorer…. I'm in the process of getting my fics up over there…)

Anyways, review and let me know what you thought! Maybe THIS time I'll get the emails! x_x but that's pretty un-fricken-likely…. Rackenfrackum fanfiction dot net...