Tendo residence 6:00 PM, Ranma's P.O.V.-
Ranma, for the first time ever, was impatient for Ryouga to show up. Once he did, they could open presents. Once presents were opened, the party would be over and Mousse would leave. The Amazon was beginning to get on Ranma's nerves. Through out the game he had been fawning over Akane, trying to sneak cards out of her hand, and in general making a pest out of himself.
Akane just sat there, acting like nothing was going on. 'How can she be so calm about this?' he asked himself. A part of him worried that she wanted to be with Mousse. 'She has been hitting him with her mallet lately.' Ranma was still unsure of the "malleting is love," theory that Ukyo came up with, but he wasn't about to take any chances.
"Ranchan," Ukyo whispered in his ear, "I'm really sorry about what happened earlier. Can you please stop ignoring me now?"
Ranma's attention turned to his friend, who was clutching his arm in a vice like grip and looking at him with large watery eyes. He hadn't realized that he had been ignoring her. True, he was angry about what she had said about Akane, but he had decided that if Akane didn't do anything about it, neither would he.
"You know, it's not me that you should apologize to," Ranma answered quietly, turning his attention back to his cards. He frowned in concentration, trying to remember what cards he needed to put down next. 'Was it two threes or three twos?' he wondered, both were an option for him.
"I hate it when you're mad at me Ranchan," Ukyo whined quietly.
'Then don't call Akane that,' he thought fiercely. He couldn't say it aloud though. Otherwise World War III would start.
"Shampoo wants rematch!" Shampoo shouted in his ear. "You cheat!" Ranma looked around wildly to see who she was yelling at. Konatsu just smiled serenely as Akane gathered the cards from Ranma's hands and began shuffling again.
Shampoo viciously yanked on Ranma's arm as she they waited for the cards to be dealt. Ranma started tipping towards her, unprepared for the force of the tug. In response Ukyo tugged on his other arm. At first Ranma was thankful, because Ukyo's yank righted him. But then he began to lose feeling in the arm that she held. Ranma tried shifting his arm a little, so that he could get some blood flow to his fingers, but Ukyo just tightened her grip.
During the next card game Shampoo and Ukyo would periodically pull him towards them in an attempt to snuggle. Ranma was becoming very uncomfortable, because Ukyo kept begging him for forgiveness and Shampoo kept complaining about cheating boys as she became more and more frustrated.
He found hope of escape when Akane suddenly jumped up, "Kasumi made snacks!" she practically shouted. 'Now's my chance!' "Will you help me get them Konatsu?"
It didn't matter that it was rude. Ranma needed to get out of this situation. "I'll help you Akane," he practically begged, ineffectively tugging at his arms.
"No. No, it has to be Konatsu," Akane said, smiling brightly at the ninja. Ranma was prepared to beg, but Akane and Konatsu left before any words could get out of his mouth. He barely suppressed his tears as the two girls on either side of him tightened their grips.
"Hello Ranma," a soft voice said from behind him. He felt a hand touch his shoulder to get his attention, although he already knew who it was.
"Get your hands off my Ranchan!" Ukyo shouted, jumping to her feet. Shampoo soon followed suit.
Akari stepped back and raised her hand up in front of herself. "B-but I was greeting him. I-I was invited to his birthday party," she said, sounding close to tears.
There was a crash above them and Ryouga's voice came echoing down the stairs. "Ranma, what did you do?!?" Ranma could hear that he was angry in a way that he never got over Akane. Probably because Akane could take care of herself while Akari was too fragile.
Akari's face went from fearful to ecstatic in seconds. "Ryouga-sweetie," she whispered quietly. It was still loud enough for Ukyo and Shampoo to hear it though, because they both fell forward in shock. Ranma looked up as he heard Akane laugh out loud.
Akari looked up the stairs and called out daintily, "Stay put Ryouga-sweetie. I'll come and get you," before she skipped up the stairs.
Ranma smiled as she left. There was just something so cute about the way P-chan acted when Akari was around. 'Now if only he would give up on Akane...'
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mousse take the tray that Akane was holding away from her before putting it down gently on the table. He looked like he was going to glomp her again, but Akane put a stop to that before Ranma could.
Ranma watched as Akari lead Ryouga down the stairs while holding a beat up looking bouquet. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ukyo and Shampoo begin to stir, so he quickly sat down next to Akane, right between her and Mousse. He wasn't jealous, he assured himself, he just needed a break from those two. Mousse glared at him, Akane ignored him, and Ukyo and Shampoo pouted.
"Now that Lost boy and New Girl here, Airen open presents, yes?" Shampoo asked hopefully.
"Oh that's right," Akane said, dropping her fist into her open hand. "You guys haven't met Akari yet. Introduce yourselves," she ordered.
When it looked like no one was going to volunteer, Akane dug her elbow into Ranma's ribs and nodded towards Mousse. Ranma dug his elbow into Mousse's ribs with a little more enthusiasm then was necessary. Mousse cleared his throat, "My name is Mousse. I'm an Amazon from the Jukutsuzoku tribe and master of the Hidden Weapons Technique."
"It's very nice to meet you Mousse. Ryouga-sweetie has told me quite a bit about you."
"All good I hope," Mousse teased. Akari giggled a little.
Konatsu knelt in front of Akari and bowed low. "My name is Konatsu. I am but a humble kunoichi and waitress. It's a honor to make your acquaintance."
"Kunoichi...? But you look like a boy..." Akari spluttered, looking a little shocked.
"I am a boy," he stated quietly.
"...?" Akari asked. She shook her head, then smiled at the still bowing kunoichi. "It's a pleasure to meet you." She gently touched his shoulder, letting him know that it was alright for him to rise from the bow.
"I'm Ukyo Kuonji. Okinomiyaki chef, martial artist, and Ranchan's cute fiance," Ukyo stated proudly. Shampoo rolled her eyes at the last bit of news.
"Fiance? But I thought Akane was Ranma's fiance?" Akari asked.
"That's their parents idea. I'm the one Ranma loves," Ukyo bragged.
"Not true. Airen love Shampoo!" Shampoo shouted. Bringing out her bonbari. Ukyo brandished her large battle spatula, and prepared to battle.
"No fighting!" Akane shouted, "If you do, you will have to leave."
"Violent Girl talk big," Shampoo sneered. "But can't make Shampoo leave."
"You fight, you leave," Akane stated again, looking for all the world like she wasn't being threatened by a very pissed off Amazon warrior. Ranma was really worried. He had no clue how Akane was going to back up her statement. Shampoo was one of the best martial artists in Nerima. She'd cream Akane.
"I didn't mean to cause any fighting," Akari said, obviously worried. "I just wanted to learn more about Ryouga-sweetie's friends."
"It's not your fault," Akane told the girl, smiling sweetly. "They just don't know any better."
"Violent Girl shut mouth or Shampoo shut for you!" Shampoo shouted, lounging towards Akane.
"Close your eyes Ranma," Akane whispered to him. He really didn't want to, but at the same time, Akane doesn't stay calm in these situations unless she has a plan, so he followed her orders. He heard the sound of plastic hitting flesh, then a hissing sound, before there was silence.
"Stupid Violent Girl miss," Shampoo sounded like she was gloating.
"I didn't miss. I just wasn't aiming at you."
"What Stupid Girl talk ab...eow," Shampoo shrieked. Ranma felt a shiver run up his spine at the sound. He knew what it was, even though he couldn't see it.
"Kasumi," Akane called out loudly. "Shampoo is leaving. Can you escort her out?" Ranma felt a gentle had land on his thigh. He jumped a bit at the contact, his nerves already strained. "It's okay Ranma," Akane whispered to him. "It's almost over."
"Don't forget about her present," He heard Nabiki shout from another room. There was the sound of hissing and quiet feet moving around the room, then silence.
"It's safe Saotome," Mousse spat. "The big bad kitty cat is gone."
"Um... how did you hit Shampoo?" Konatsu asked. "Ukyo ended up wet."
"Sorry about that. But I didn't hit Shampoo," Akane said simply. "Akari did."
Everyone turned to Akari in surprise as she held up the water gun, grinning sheepishly. "Akane told me that something like this might happen, and told me to prepare with some cold water. When I saw that a fight was about to break out, I grabbed my water pistol."
"I saw that she had her water pistol and used my own. I'm just glad that Akari has such great aim," Akane said smiling.
Ranma had a million questions flooding through his mind. 'What just happened? When did Akane ever plan anything ahead of time?' and most importantly, 'How annoyed is Shampoo going to be about this?'
"That was smart thinkin' Sug," Ukyo said, smiling at Akane, "But that little trick wont work on me."
"I know," Akane said smiling. "But you have no reason to attack me."
"Why is that?" Ukyo smirked. She made no move to attack Akane, she seemed honestly curious.
"Because Ranma's going to start opening presents," Akane said, placing a box with crumpled wrapping paper on the table. "I wrapped it myself," she said smiling.
One by one everyone set their package down on the table. With each addition Ranma could feel his eyes widen with anticipation. 'Already this is the best birthday ever!' he thought to himself.
Tendo residence, 7:00pm Ukyo's P.O.V.-
Ukyo was the last to put her present on the table. She made sure to place it closest to Ranma and directly between him and Akane's present.
"Go ahead Ranchan," she said sweetly. "Open mine first." 'This is it! Ranma's going love it so much he'll want to marry me on the spot! I'll decline, of course, because I want a big wedding so I can rub it in those other "girls'" faces...' Ukyo was so caught up in her thoughts that she almost missed the moment when Ranma first saw her present.
"Gee thanks Ukyo," Ranma said, holding up a sealed clay jar. "What is it?"
"It's another jar of ten year old sauce that I made when we were children. I made it on the day of your birthday so that we could open it together," Ukyo said brightly. "It was also the day that I found out that we were going to get married."
"Then it's a good thing I wasn't around when you made it," Ranma joked. "Otherwise this one would be as bad as the last one."
Ukyo's smile clouded over as she thought about all the torment she went through shortly after Ranma left. She had just finished sealing the jar when she had heard the yattai rattling away...
Forcefully she brightened it with the thought of the splashy wedding she was going to have. She might even ask Akane to be her maid of honor. 'That'll just prove how perfect I am for Ranma.'
"We can open it after we're done with the presents," Akane said excitedly. "I'm sure it'll taste great."
Everyone made agreeing noises, totally oblivious to the rage Ukyo felt. 'There she goes, trying to get between me and Ranchan,' she thought darkly, staring at her rival and sometimes best friend.
The next present was from Ryouga, which was an unwrapped box of green tea pocky. Ranma smiled ruefully at the madly blushing boy. "Thanks man."
"No problem," Ryouga muttered. Ukyo was actually surprised that Ryouga had even gotten there, let alone brought a present. She had thought that the only thing Ryouga wanted to give Ranma was an early grave.
Konatsu gift was next, although Ukyo was unsure about what he would have gotten Ranma. Ukyo knew exactly how much he was paid, so he couldn't have afforded much. The package was neatly wrapped with a ribbon tied around it. Attached to the ribbon were some bells, that jingled gently as Ranma picked up the small package. Ukyo wanted to gag at the girliness of it, but she restrained herself so as not to hurt Konatsu's feelings. Inside the wrapping was a box and inside the box were two finely crafted kunai.
"Man these are sweet," Ranma started gushing. Ukyo had to stop herself from glaring at her waitress. She also had to stop herself from pounding her fiance into a puddle. 'I get him the perfect gift and this is the thanks I get!?!?!?' "These are perfectly weighted and everything! Common! I wanna try 'em out!" Ranma shouted, getting ready to stand up.
Ukyo couldn't take it any more. She swiftly stood up and slammed her fist onto the top of Ranma's head. "Ungrateful jerk!" she growled through clenched teeth. Suddenly her anger drained away and she realized what she had just done to the love of her life. Also, that everyone was staring at her. "I mean you should open the rest of the presents before you try any of them out," she said, scratching at the back of her head, a large sweat drop forming on her temple.
"Thanks Ucchan, I almost forgot," Ranma said, laughing slightly. Everyone else just shook their heads in bemusement.
"You may open mine next, Saotome," Mousse offered graciously. His package was rather boring compared to Konatsu's or even Ukyo's for that matter. It was just a box wrapped in brown paper. Turned out it was a book of legends from Japan and China. "There's nothing about Jusenkyou, but it may help with some of your wilder adventures."
"Thanks man," Ranma said simply, smiling ruefully. 'Oh well,' Ukyou thought, 'It will be a good book for the kids. He won't be needing it while he's helping at the restaurant.'
Ukyo's eyes narrowed as Ranma picked up Akane's present. She had been so sure that she would win this round, but with Ranma's lack luster response to her heart felt gift and enthusiasm for some knives that weren't any good for anything but fighting, she was a little shaken. Of course this was but a small skirmish in the war for Ran-chan, but she had been loosing ground for a while now and had hoped that she would make her recovery this night. Not that she was giving up! She loved Ran-chan and they were destined to be together.
"You didn't cook it did you?" Ranma asked cautiously as he sniffed at the package.
"Just open it Jerk," Akane said, glaring at him. Slowly Ranma undid the wrapping. Some might have taken it as tenderness, but Ukyo knew better. It was just plain old caution. Whenever Akane had her hand in an arts and crafts project, you never knew what you were going to get.
Ranma reached his hand into the box and pulled out an extremely large mallet. It was quite a bit bigger then the original box. It was an old mallet and pretty well used at that. There were some dents on the surface of it that looked to be the size of someone's head and possibly shoulders as well.
"Huh?" Ranma asked the question that was on everyone's mind.
Akane blushed a little. "This is your mallet," she said as though it explained everything. She must have sensed everyone's confusion because she kept going. "Kasumi gave me this mallet that night you came home under the hugging command, remember? After that, anytime you made me angry or insulted me I used it on you. The more I used it the bigger and stronger it got, but now, I don't think I need it anymore."
Everyone was silent as they thought of her answer. 'What does she mean she won't need it?' Ukyo demanded internally. 'If she thinks that she won this she is sadly mistaken. My present is far superior to that hunk of junk
"Wait, does this mean that I can use the mallet on people?" Ranma asked, eyes lighting up.
"Not that one," Akane said, "If you used that one you might just kill someone. It's too powerful to use against just anybody. But I did provide a new mallet too. I can show you how to use it later, although you will have to be a girl for it to work."
"Why would it kill someone?" Ranma asked, sounding a little in awe.
"Because it's chalk full of Ranma chi," Akane laughed. I figured you could use it if you ever needed a recharge."
"Seriously?" Ranma asked, sounding really excited. "That's so cool!"
"I thought you'd like it," Akane said grinning smugly.
'You may think you've won this round,' Ukyo thought venomously, 'But this is far from over.'