Collaboration with my wonderful friend nina. Characters are Veronica Roth's but ideas are mine. Yea I know i havent been updating lately sorry guys :/ IM A TERRIBLE PERSON. ;-;
NINA WROTE THIS WHOLE CHAPTER.
YES I'VE BEEN NEGLECTING THIS FOR AWHILE AND IM WORKING ON THREE OTHER STORIES (haven't uploaded)
Chapter 13:
"Hey, got a minute?"
I'm flopped down on my bed when Christina's head suddenly pops up from the doorway. I barely even look up, but I open one eyelid to show that I saw her.
"Mmm..." I mumble and turn my body so that I'm facing her, although my eyes are once again closed.
I hear three thumps and all of a sudden I shriek and the covers are yanked from my body, rolling me to the floor where I land with a thump.
"Ow," I wince, rubbing my back. She's smiling so hard that it almost makes me smile too.
Almost.
"So...what's up?" I get up from the floor and start pulling up the sheets, while Christina stands across from me. "Well...you know how I've been hanging out with Will lately? I roll my eyes. "You guys have been together so much that it's almost like you're a couple," I grin and to my surprise, she doesn't smack me in the arm. Instead, she throws both arms around me and squeals. Imagine that, Christina squealing.
"Don't tell me-"
"YES! He asked me out yesterday and ohhh I think I'm in love, Tris!" Her eyes flutter and she grabs her heart, falling backwards onto my bed. When I don't laugh, she opens her eyes and sits up on the bed. Her expression is serious.
"Tris, why are you crying?"
"Huh?"
I look up.
"Tris, look at your hands."
I look down. Tiny teardrops splatter onto my hands and I immediately wipe my eyes, causing tears to smear all over my face.
"I'm fine; I'm alright" I smile weakly at her.
"You don't have to smile if you don't want to."
It's already too late; the waterworks keep spinning and spinning and in no time at all I'm a sticky mess of tears in Christina's arms.
"Tris, what's wrong?" she wraps her arms around me, pulling me close enough so that she can feel my whole body shaking. "Are you PMS-ing?" I let out a shaky laugh.
"I'm happy for you, I really, really am. But it's just that- when I look at you and Will everything is so perfect and now you guys are dating and-" my voice breaks off in a hiccup and I take a breath. " slowly in and out. "I don't even know why I'm upset," I laugh. "I haven't ever been in a relationship and now I'm crying over Four-"
"But why is that bad?"
"BECAUSE IT HURTS." I sit up straighter and look her directly in the eyes, tears overflowing my own. "It hurts so goddamn much Christina." My voice shakes. "More than you can ever imagine. Everytime I see him, my chest tightens and a monster inside of me is screaming 'I want him'. But you know what hurts even more? Seeing him with Laura. Knowing that I can't love him, that I don't have the right to love him."
A long silence follows. When I'm finally done crying my heart out, Christina starts to speak.
"This is the first time you've been in love, huh?" She stretches out her legs on the bed and lays down. "Tris, remember when I took you out to go shopping for dresses?."
"More like you dragged me when I desperately begged you not to," I muster a weak smile. She also smiles.
"I did it so you'd gain some confidence. Confidence to stand up to Laura and Four and tell him 'I love you', confidence to chase after who you love instead of sitting here with me to talk about it. I need you to be that girl, Tris. I need you to stand up for yourself and say 'Look, that is my man and you'd better believe it'. I need you to stop worrying about other's feelings and start thinking more about what you want." I know that I'm about to cry again but I choke it down and instead, I lay down next to her and close my eyes.
"Look, this is my man and you'd better believe it," I whisper.
"That's my girl."
Enjoy ~
-Ali