14.

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto
Bloodstream © Hurlstien

Before we begin, I'd just like to let you guys know what I was listening to while writing this chapter.

She Looks to Me, Red Hot Chilli Peppers

It is the song that inspired this entire story years ago when I first started writing it. I'd love it if you gave it a listen and tell me what you think.
I know its originally written about drug addiction, but it helped give creation to Hezā, her relationship with Kakuzu and the story that was hers to tell.

I do not own this song or have any affiliation with RHCP.

Please enjoy this chapter.

TARGET LOCKED

(it looks to me like Heaven sent this for your roughest night)

The storm raged outside. But inside the cave, all was still.

She's not breathing.

Neither man moved as they stared at the lifeless body before them. Though filthy and soaked to the bone, Hezā looked as though she could be sleeping so soundly nothing would wake her.

'There is no cure.' Kakuzu's glower deepened. 'That's what he said.'

Thunder rolled in from outside and the wind drove the rain harder into the rock, hissing through the curtain of water and into their quiet little morgue. Kakuzu's eyes trailed across her body. From the bloodstained metal of her arm to the puncture wounds in her neck. From the rips in her cloak, to her slightly parted lips. Dried foam coated her chin and blood congealed around the socket of her arm. The trauma of mutating with it attached having split the skin around it. His stitch still set in her stomach told him her chakra was diminishing and her body temperature was quickly falling.

"I won't save her." Kakuzu's head snapped to the right to see Hidan facing him. His amethyst eyes were hard and bright in the dark. His voice cold, leaving no room for argument. "My religion won't allow it."

Kakuzu wanted to punch him. 'Of course it doesn't.'The two men watched each other, faces stern in the dim light.

"Hope you know what you're doing." Hidan said, turning his back on him and returning to the entrance to keep watch. Kakuzu watched him go, plenty of choice insults flying through his mind, before looking back to his subordinate.

I'm not meant to save.

He moved to Hezā's side and pulled open her cloak.

I can only destroy.

He began the chest compressions. But he felt like punching her sternum. How dare she. How dare she give up now. How selfish of her to leave them like this when they were so close to completing their mission. How… familiar.

'She wouldn't be the first young girl to die beneath your hand.'

But she might be the first to be saved.

Looking at his hands he never thought they would be capable of anything remotely close to love again. Not capable of kindness, of healing, of heroism… of redemption. It wasn't just Hezā's life that hung heavy over his head; something was manifesting in the air between them. Thick and almost menacing in its presence, like a storm rolling in fast on the horizon. Something inside him was being pulled to this girl, this pathetic slip of a human being. She was nothing special, and yet here he was, thinking about the way her eyes lit up when she looked at him, about how her pale throat flushed with colour when he looked at her. All the little things he dismissed, all the insignificant details that would bubble to the surface, only to pop from his disregard. He'd ignored it for too long and now was it was too strong. It frustrated him to no end. Not since Akina had he ever felt anything for anyone. So how was it that he felt something for her?

Annoyance boiled in his chest with every pump of his hands, a low growl building in the back of his throat. Finishing the thirty compressions, he pinched her nose, tilted her head back and leant down to press his lips against hers. Her chest rose and fell with the breaths he administered before he started compressions again. He went through the cycle four times before a flicker of a heart beat fluttered beneath his palm. His own heart leapt at the sensation, but he quelled the feeling. Hovering his fingers above her mouth, he felt warm breath caress his calloused skin. A small sigh escaped him, and he sat back on his knees and closed his eyes. He'd done it.

Her breaths were rusty, and her body began to twitch in pain once more, the horrid moans escaping her mouth echoing through the cave. God, he hated that sound. But the success of the mission rose and fell with those rattling breaths he counted. Ribs rising and falling, quick and feeble. And in the pregnant silence between them, his eyes traced the sharp line of her jaw, the bump in her nose, the flat plains of her brow that dipped into her soft, ever-present frown, to then fall into her hair plastered to her face. Her hand, though small, was nicked with scars and rough with use, nails chipped and bitten down to the skin. The muscled form of her legs, though short, were hidden beneath her wet cloak and whispered of the strength they held. The scar curving up her left cheek smiled silver at him through the darkness. He never thought such a small thing, such a little thing…. could be so strong.

I dreamed of you.

He closed his eyes and bowed his head, feeling almost like he'd been punched in the chest. The voice swept out from the dark depths of his memories, winding him and dragging out feelings he hadn't cared to acknowledge for so long. Exhaustion pulled him down, his heart heavy with emotion he hadn't felt in decades.

I dreamed you were lost in the dark, and so was I.

"Akina," he whispered. The taste of her name on his tongue was like honey. He hadn't spoken it in so long, it felt foreign to him now. Her eyes lit up the darkness of his mind and he watched as those familiar iris' seemed to alight upon him. The crisp combination of blue spliced with red radiated warmth through his icy veins.

We found each other… We found each other in the dark.

He opened his eyes and let them sink to rest upon Heza's twitching form. Her lungs working hard through the lingering poison to keep her heart beating.

"You're still here."

Don't hate me now.

Scaled skin shivered over hard flesh.

"Stopstopstop- Hezā, stop!"

Kemushi's voice couldn't have sounded any further away. It echoed into the crevices of her numb mind.

Bones forced through her skin, splitting and ripping muscle. Blood spattered the ground.

"Ican'tIcant- I can't help you like thislikethislikethis."

She dove for him, craving claws through flesh. Kemushi's arm came up to block, mutated into a huge webbed hand. Just his arm.

Don't hate me.

And then her hand was through his chest.

Kemushi.

She screamed. She screamed so loud she felt her lungs burn. She screamed until she felt the blood drain from her head, and with her brain starved of oxygen, she fell into darkness. Floating there, trapped in the black, she was unaware of everything and yet supremely conscious of the fact she couldn't remember… anything. What she looked like, her gender, even her own name. No memories came to her. All she knew was that she was still screaming into the void, though she had no mouth with which to scream, the sound that was not a sound just seemed to resonate through the space she occupied. It was like being at the bottom of an ocean, unable to move. Unable to breathe. Unable to think. Just dark and alone and cold.

She didn't know how much time had passed, because time was nothing here. But at some point a soft glowing emerged in the dark. At first she didn't even realise it was there. Then everything lined up and clicked, and she was drawn to it. And though she would never be able to describe what she 'saw' or 'felt' for the rest of her life, she knew she belonged there. She moved towards it, enjoying how natural and right it was for her to be there. She thought it might be how returning home from a long journey would feel like. Comforting and warm.

The never-ending scream seemed to quieten as she drew nearer. But before she could get too close, something echoed behind her. She stopped cold. The sharp sound shivering through her. From deep in the darkness something else was screaming back. It was a harsh sound. Piercing and pained. It sounded like a wounded animal and she felt the need to help. But that need was quickly forgotten when something burned in the centre of her being. Like hot ash being blown into the chambers of her heart. After being so numb up until now, it surprised her. Something akin to panic hit her and she looked back to find the soft glow had receded almost to the point of disappearance. Quick and swift, the agony was merciless as it swept through her veins. Feeling rushed through her, sending her brain signals that told her she was on her back, she was wet, and she was cold. She felt her muscles spasm against her will and hot wet leaked from her mouth before something rough and warm smothered it. Teeth clenched together. Sensations came rushing back to her and she realised from the burning in her throat that the animal that was screaming was her.

She fought for control of her arms as she swatted at the thing that covered her mouth. She needed more air. Her eyes flew open and from them she fell into a pair of green ones. Bright and focused they stunned her, almost into immobility if it weren't for the pain.

'Kakuzu.' Her heart leapt at the sight of him and her pulse ceased its erratic panicking. She wanted to cry with relief. She was in agony, but she was safe.

His warm, rough palm shifted against her quivering mouth. "I'm going to give you something to make you sleep," he said. "We're still in enemy territory, so control yourself."

'Fuckin' easy f'you to say!' But the words never made it past her quivering lips. He held up something small, round and blue and slipped it past her teeth.

"It may take a little while to take effect, so until then you must be silent."

She heard his words and focused on her quick breathing while her eyes stared into his. Sweat beaded like thick condensation on her brow and tears leaked down her temples to collect in her damp hair. Groans still fought their way past her lips, but she held on, contorting her body in efforts to escape the agony. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. But looking into those eyes she could have sworn she saw something akin to sympathy there. A shimmer of light on a dark pond.

"Talk about something, but quietly," he said. "It will help take your mind off the pain."

Her lips trembled as saliva filled her mouth. "I–I think I'm gunna be sick."

"Something else perhaps."

She struggled to swallow the spit that wallowed around her teeth and willed herself not to throw up by taking her mind off it. "I… I jus'… wuh–w–wanna hear you… tuh–t–t–talk." She said, the pain warping her words as she fought to get them out. The man was taken back, and he blinked, unable to say anything. It had been a while since anyone had stunned him into silence. But then, it had been a while since anyone had ever given a shit about him. "Tell me… a–about yer lie –life. S'been a… luh–luh–long one, after all. Yuh –you mus' have suh–so much t'say… buh–but y'never do."

"It's a waste of time," he replied. She grimaced, either from the pain or what he said, and her eyes strayed from his to lose themselves in the cave. He bit back a sigh. "How about this; you tell me something, I tell you something. Agreed?" She nodded, the pained expression unable to take away the glimmer of glee in her eyes. "You first."

She thought about it for a few seconds. "I wuh-was born- no…. abandoned, in a vih-village in the Hot Springs… C-country, called Jōki-mura." She glanced at him. "It w-was tiny… and I buh–barely remember it… That was wuh-where O-Orochimaru found me," she said. "Yuh-your turn."

He held her gaze for a moment before glancing off to the side. "I graduated the Academy at ten, became a Chūnin at twelve and a Jōnin at fifteen."

"Th-that don't mean much t'me."

"It means I was considered a prodigy."

"What's a prodigy?"

Kakuzu fought back a roll of his eyes. "Someone who excels beyond what others believe to be suitably attainable," he said, noticing her eyes were dulling, succumbing to sleep. "Your turn."

She managed a grin. "I thought that th-the Namahage* wuh-was real until I was… s-sixteen." Laughter tickled her throat, bubbling up through the pain and she fought back a yawn. "What's yer… fuh-favourite food?"

"Liver Sashimi," he replied, watching the way her eyes opened and closed, too heavy to keep open. The drug was faster than he'd expected. Of course, a painkiller would have been best, but medication wasn't something he usually kept on him, being an S-class immortal with abilities like his came with its perks and not having much of a need for healing or numbing wounds was one of them. Plus, it was absurd to think Hidan might have any strong painkillers on his person. So a sleeping drug would have to do. Sleep would keep her from needing to endure the pain for the most part he knew, but she would have to wake up sooner or later. Whether or not her Kekkei Genkai would pull through this time was a different matter.

"C-can't believe… I killed a Sannin."

Kakuzu's eyes darted to hers. She was gazing up at the ceiling, a bewildered, gentle smile on her face. And though he had four remaining, he didn't have the heart to tell her the truth.

"He's fuh- He's finally… gone," she breathed, then turned her head to let her eyes study him for a while. He let her, unwilling to break her elation. She would discover later what truly happened, but for now he decided it would be for the best to leave her be. At least it was giving her some comfort in what was likely turning out to be one of the worst nights of her short life. "I used ter be so… fascinated by y'face."

The man scoffed. "You don't say." It was no secret that the girl had been too curious in years past. And her curiosity had led her to the terrible incident they both shared. They would be forever bound by that night. What he did to her reminded him of what he'd done to Akina. Just another thing the two women had in common.

"B-… Back then I… wanted t'see it more than anythin'," she said, and her eyes slowly climbed up to meet his. "I still want t'see behind th'mask… but," she reached up, fingers fluttering through the air at the material wrapped around his face, "not… this one."

He paused, unsure of what to say. He knew that in her slumberous state she was unlikely to remember much of this conversation, if any of it. He doubted she even knew what she was saying as he watched her hand flop to her stomach. "You haven't been the only one." Her brow twitched in interest, blue-red eyes just about managing to hold his gaze. "There was another who wished to know more."

"D-did they… ever… see?"

The man bowed his head, unable to keep his mind from revisiting that night. Blood spilling over stone, staining fingers, matting in bright blonde hair.

"… She saw everything." He whispered and closed his eyes. She saw too much.

He truly was a terrible person.

Hezā's eyes were closed. A small sound escaping her mouth in response, then nothing. She was asleep. And he was left with nothing but rainfall and guilt.

The sun was shining when Hezā opened her eyes. It filtered down through the canopy, casting the clearing in a delicate jade green. It blinded her and pain shot through, straight to the back of her head, making her squint and the headache that was building behind her eyes intensified. Bird song slipped into her ears as she lay there and breathed. Her entire body ached, and her vision was blurry. She still felt exhausted as she yawned, her ribs expanding with air and she winced. The remains of a fire smouldered close to her right, burnt wood mixed with the scent of a recent rain fall filling her nose. Rolling her head to the side she found Hidan's scythe leant against a tree, its owner nowhere to be found, along with a body wrapped in chains and a burlap sack.

She blinked, her brain working hard to remember who the Hell that was. 'Ah… The Jinchūriki.'

"You're awake."

The voice should have made her jump, gruff and deep in the calm stillness of the clearing, but instead her heart leapt, and she couldn't help the smile that broke onto her face. "Kakuzu." He grunted in response and she looked up to find him sat beside her head, leant against the trunk of a tree. She swallowed, grimacing at the dryness of her throat. Her voice was scratchy. "Got… water?" He passed her a canteen and she struggled to push herself up into a half sit, to sip at it enough to wet her mouth, before handing it back and flopping to the grass. She coughed. "I feel like shit."

"I'm not surprised."

"What happened?" She asked. "I… don' 'member much." Kakuzu was silent, and after a long moment Hezā turned her head until his sandalled foot came into view. "Kakuzu?"

"The base was destroyed and we used the ceiling caving in as cover to escape."

"Huh… I don' 'member that at all," she mumbled. "But wait… somethin' was… attackin' you- I can't remember what it was, but… did it get you?"

"No…" He said. "You saved me."

And just like that, everything came rushing back to her. The snake. The bite. The Curse Mark.

"Oh." She reached up a tentative hand to finger the scabbed over punctures in her neck, wincing as she brushed them. Then she smiled, her memories taking her back only a few weeks ago when she'd said the same thing to him in a little tea room-come-inn, with the rain pouring outside. "It wasn't intentional."

"That doesn't change anything."

She grinned and forced her head up to catch his eye. His gaze was soft as he looked at her, and she thought it was the warmest look she'd ever seen him give. She couldn't help but smile wider.

"I remember now… the venom… s'from a Blue Coral Snake," she said. Kakuzu bowed his head, recalling what Orochimaru had said. "It switches on every nerve in y'body, before killin' you."

Kakuzu inclined his head. "You shouldn't be breathing."

She was silent for a moment as she stared up into the canopy, letting the realisation settle in. "I know… Guess my Kekkei Genkai saved me."

"I wouldn't be so sure," he said, and her brows furrowed. "You were gone for a while."

She craned her head to look up at him, but he didn't meet her gaze. "Gone where?"

He looked down at her. "…Your heart stopped."

Hezā's brain tripped on itself. "Wha… What…? F'how long?"

"Three minutes and thirteen seconds."

'He counted…' she realised. 'What the Hell.' She stayed quiet, trying to wrap her head around what he'd said. She couldn't remember anything, in fact, the very last thing she could remember with any clarity was the mutation, then she woke up here. There was a foggy bit in between… but all that seemed to make sense to her was that someone had been screaming. 'Maybe tha's why I've got a headache.'

"Then… how did…?" She didn't get to finish her question, because the answer was already there in the man's green eyes. "Y'brought me back." He bowed his head and looked away while she lay there in awe. "I was dead… an' y'brought me back." She could recall the feeling of not knowing anything. Of being surrounded by darkness… and deep in that great sea of black, a white light had been glowing. Goosebumps violently shivered across her flesh at the thought of that dead light. What had once been something so warm and inviting, was now cold and unforgiving. She didn't even want to think about it, and immediately tried to distract herself with something else.

Her gaze wondered until it fell onto the red scythe across from her. "Hey, where's Hidan," she asked, and pushed herself up to scour the clearing properly. "An' where's Kem?"

"Hidan went to pray."

"Figures… Then, where's Kemushi at?" she asked, wincing with the effort of sitting up and resting back on her arms.

Kakuzu was silent and her red and blue gaze swept round to his. He'd rather not deal with what was about to happen, but he couldn't keep it from her forever. "He's dead."

Hezā said nothing, just stared at him, trying to find the punchline somewhere in those words. He gazed steadily back. She shook her head gently. And the longer she searched his eyes, the more disbelief crept onto her face. She snatched her gaze away, her breathing growing heavier, eyes darting about until she looked up, searching the clearing. "Kem?... Kemushi!" She called. "Come back! It's not funny!... Keh… Kem…"

"He's not here."

She sniffed and shook her head, refusing to meet his gaze. "I don't believe you." Her words came out strained, struggling against the lump forming in her throat. She forced herself to sit up, but her body was too heavy, too drained of energy to move properly. "He– He can't… He wasn't even there. He st– he stayed… back." She'd left him at the entrance to the lab, by the Jinchūriki. She remembered that. "He didn't follow me."

"He did–"

"Then how did he die?" She demanded, finally meeting his stare. His eyes told her she didn't want to know, but it was too late now. "Who was it?" Anger boiled in her stomach as a horrid thought struck her. She didn't want to even consider it, but… "Which… Which one of you killed 'im, Kakuzu?"

He held her gaze, admiring the fury build behind her eyes. "… You did."

And she was back to staring at him again. Mouth open, but no words to say. Refusing to believe him, her brain cycled back through everything she could remember, searching for something, anything to prove him wrong. But nothing came to her. 'Why would he lie?'

"If you need proof, take a look at your arm."

She didn't want to. But she turned her head all the same, slowly down to the left to see her limb coated in crusted crimson. Some of it was flaking off, while trapped in the crevices were thick, dark clots. Blood from the caverns of the body. So deep, so red... hearts blood. She began to shake.

"But… wuh-w-why? Why would I…?"

"He got in your way."

She looked at him. "What?"

"You lost control and tried to kill Orochimaru. He got between you and took the hit."

The clearing grew quiet. Heza's eyes had drifted from his and she now stared into space, losing herself in her thoughts. Kakuzu couldn't remember the last time he'd seen someone grieve. Of death, he'd seen plenty, but grief, not so much. Catching sight of Hidan's scythe, he was glad of the man's absence. The last thing either of them needed was his preaching or condescension right now. And a small part of him envied the priest; at least he didn't have to deal with a mourning woman.

The sound of something heavy hitting the ground drew his eyes back to Hezā to find her metal arm in the dirt beside her. He watched as she shoved it away and flopped back down into the grass.

"You realise you're useless without that."

"I don't care."

He was taken back by the tone of her voice. It wasn't sad, like he'd expected. It was something worse… it was a discarded shell. It was empty. Like someone who had lost their purpose. Like someone giving up on everything. He knew that feeling, and had met it with anger. But how would she choose to greet this new-found pain? He watched as the girl lifted her hand and rested the back of it over her mouth. Silently, her shoulders began to shake with tears. She squeezed shut her eyes, fat beads running down her cheeks, and he felt his heart stammer. Annoyance hissed through his ribs at how easily she could effect him. But he couldn't help see his own actions years ago echo in her and what she'd done that night.

'We are the same.' He frowned, not enjoying that thought. But it continued to repeat in his mind and a feeling of pity loomed in his stomach. The words came out before he even realised what he was saying: "He loved you."

Hezā stayed silent. Unable to talk even if she'd tried.

Kakuzu bowed his head. "You would never have killed Orochimaru… he would have killed you had the boy not intervened."

"If only I hadn't…" she tried, her voice quaking. It was almost too painful to talk past the rock in her throat. She thought back to that night and how she had fallen to the curse marks power… again. 'If only I hadn't lost control.'

"Did you love him?"

"… He was my first friend," she whispered and sniffed.

'My only friend.'

(who's gonna take you home and hold you when things aren't so bright?)

Title and ending: She Looks to Me, Red Hot Chilli Peppers

*Namahage – Japanese version of the Boogeyman, essentially.

Thank you for reading. Please leave a review.