Chapter 14.

Warnings: Sexual Content, Language, & Sensitive Situations.

I felt like I was in a never-ending swirl of memories, and they all felt so real. I could feel every little pain, whether it was physical or emotional. Sometimes I thought the physical pain would never go away, when it was the emotional turmoil that I had gone through that really stayed with me the most.

I rolled onto my side, facing the wall of the prison cell and the cold wet cloth that was on my forehead fell. Maddie had been in here earlier but I couldn't bring myself to wake up from my nightmares. Not until I got to the end, but there was never an end. I thought the end would be me escaping from that shed but it only continued.

"Aurora, are you awake?" Beth asked but I made no noise to indicate that I was. "She moved, that has to be a good thing, right?" A hand came around and it pressed to my forehead again, it was Carol's hand.

"She's still warm" Carol said as I closed my eyes tighter.

Beth stayed in my cell with Judith, singing in whispers to the small baby as Carol left. It felt like minutes were ticking by in my head as images and scenes played on behind my closed eyelids. I couldn't cry anymore, I couldn't. I had to buck it up and just live now, even if living was the furthest thing that I wanted to do.

So I opened my dry eyes and turned onto my back and Beth stopped singing. I turned my head and looked over at her and took in a deep breath and gave her a small smile. "You're awake" She whispered and she stood up with Judith on her hip. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?" I shook my head and slowly moved until my feet were on the floor and I was sitting up.

"Can I have one of your hair elastics?" I asked her in a whisper and she nodded as she pulled one off of her wrist and handed it to me. My hands were clear of blood; I'd have to thank whoever cleaned me off. I gathered my hair at the back of my head and pulled it into a ponytail and stood up, holding onto the top bunks steel bar so I didn't topple over if I became too dizzy but I was okay.

"Thanks" I said as I swallowed hard and walked passed her out of my cell "Where is everyone?"

"Yard or in the rec room" She said, the rec room; where we would eat basically. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"No… but I will be" I gave her a small smile again before I walked out towards the rec room.

"You're awake" Carl said as he stood up and I smiled over at him "We thought you were going to turn" He said honestly as he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me. I hugged him back gently and ruffled the dark brown hair on the top of his head.

"You can't get rid of me that easy, kid" Carol had been sitting with him, and she came over to us.

"You feeling alright?" She asked me cautiously and I nodded. The last time her and I had a conversation it didn't go too great, so I'm glad she was dropping her jealously about Daryl and I.

"Yeah, just going out to get some fresh air" She nodded as Carl let me go.

"Want some company?" Carl asked and I looked down at him dirty face, he must have been out in the yard today.

"I think I want to be alone for a bit, but get those cards alright? We can play a game of Black Jack when I get back" He smiled up at me and jogged off to get those cards from his bunk.

"How's your fever?"

"Like I'm boiling in Satan's pit but there's nothing I can do about that" I told her "I'm thinking some air will help me, it's been getting cooler out so…" She nodded and let me go.

The air was cooler, even if the sun was still high up in the sky. I tried to not look at my sister's grave once the door shut behind me but it was hard. Carl had no doubt put that white cross of wood to mark it; he had been shaving some of that wood down days ago.

I descended the steps and breathed in the air slowly, the tightness of my chest loosened almost instantly; giving me the relief I was desperate for. "Well look who's alive" Merle said as I walked down the gravel path.

"Not dead yet" I said as I looked at him.

"Sorry about your sister" He said and I nodded as I bit back a remark. "Asian picked some flowers for her" He said before I could ask where the flowers came from "Feels guilty."

"He shouldn't" I said "He didn't know. Where is he?"

"Watch tower" He said as he pointed up, there was no doubt that Maggie was in there with him.

"And Rick, Hershel, and Daryl, where are they?"

"Meeting with the Governor" My eyes widened

"How long have they been gone?"

"Couple hours" I nodded, good so they should be back soon.

"I'm gonna go over… thanks for not being a dick" I said and he grinned

"To you? Sweet cheeks, never to you" I rolled my eyes and actually let out a small laugh as I walked away from him and towards the grave. I kneeled down and pressed a hand to the dirt and let the overturned soft dirt flow through my fingers. I couldn't picture her underneath this, even if I was the one to lay her down myself. The image of her face just as she was killed in front of me was the only one that I could think of, even in my nightmares; her face was shadowed.

I found a rock nearby and brought the sharper edge against the white wooden cross and etched her name "Isabelle Grace Austin" and tossed the rock against the fence. She was only 19 when all of this 'end of the world' shit happened, she had her 20th birthday inside of that small shed, and I had my 24th birthday inside of mine. We had spent our lives together, we were on the same path in our careers, and we were best friends. I didn't even have a photo of her, just the necklace of the rose pendant that was still around my neck. That was hers.

I wiped the back of my hand against my sweating forehead and stood up slowly to look around the yard. It was quiet except for the walkers that were groaning and hissing at the fence to be let in. They could so whatever they wanted; I wasn't going to be getting rid of them today.

About 20 minutes later, the roar of the motorcycle caught my attention as I saw Daryl on his bike and the silver jeep was being driven behind him. I had been sitting down on one of the tables outside still, talking with a very interested Michonne. I had to tell her what had happened to me, or the gist of what happened. Surprisingly she said that she knew, apparently Andrea had seen me helping Carol that night on the farm when the herd of walkers overtook it. Michonne didn't believe her until now, asking to see the bite on my ribs so seal the deal.

She was actually really nice; nothing like how she was towards me when we first met before the Governors first attacks on the prison. She opened up a bit, telling me that she had had a child before all of this happened so she could relate to my loss. She had lost everything; her brother, her son, and her boyfriend all in the same night.

I put the half empty water bottle down on the table and stood up, watching as Glenn came down from the watch tower looking disheveled. He jogged down the gravel to unlock the gates to let them in as I gave Maggie a quick hug once she walked down after Glenn a few seconds later.

Daryl didn't say anything to me as he hopped off of his bike after cutting the engine and pushing down the kickstand. He just wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly against his body and I slowly snaked my own arms around his waist, my hands pressing to the back of his leather vest.

I didn't want to let him go ever. I just wanted to stand there with his arms keeping me safe for the rest of my days, even if my days were numbered now that I had a fever. "We've gotta talk, c'mon" Rick said as he put a hand to my lower back and I nodded as I pulled away from him reluctantly.

"You feelin' alright?" Daryl asked and I nodded "Really? 'Cause you look like shit"

"Well, thanks" I laughed "I'm still pretty hot, Carol thinks I have some sort of fever" He looked over at me with narrowed eyes "I'll talk to Hershel, maybe he has something for it."

"So I met this Governor…" Rick started to say as he grabbed his gun from his cell. That run that he did with Michonne and Carl was to gather ammo and they made out fairly decent, even I had a gun now instead of my knife that Daryl had given to me. "Sat with him for quite a while… he wants the prison. He wants us gone… dead." I took in a shaky breath as he looked over at me "He wants us dead" His eyes looked around the room at our small family again "We're going to war."

Of course we were. There was no way in hell someone was taking this safe haven away from us; we wouldn't survive another few months out on the road. Especially because it was fall now, winter was just around the bend and we already had one winter on the road and we barely stayed alive.

I watched as Rick walked away and Hershel soon followed him. I hadn't noticed that my hand was in Daryl's until he squeezed it gently to shake me out of my thoughts. He motioned with his head towards his watch tower at the top of the steps but I shook my head.

"I have to go talk to Hershel, give me a minute?" He nodded, leaned over and kissed the crown of my head before he went up the steps. Glenn was looking on at us as Maggie was talking to him. I had to patch things up with him because I knew he wasn't going to make the first move. Maybe I could mend fences all in one swoop.

"Maggie, do you mind if I steal Glenn for a few minutes?" She looked over at me and nodded.

"Yeah, go ahead" I gave Glenn a small smile as we walked out to the rec room.

"I just… I wanted to say that you don't have to feel bad about what happened. You didn't know who she was and I'm sorry for reacting the way I did" I said to him as I took a seat.

"You don't need to be sorry Aurora; I should be the one apologizing. I should have backed off"

"You didn't know" I repeated those words "Besides, I don't think I could have actually done it, ya know…" He nodded

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"Before she was ripped from me, back with the other group. I heard her for weeks after that but… I guess I just thought Tony put her down after she got the flu, I guess not though…"

"I'm sorry" I started to stop him but he continued "You don't want me apologizing for doing it, so I won't… but I'm sorry you had to witness it. After the outbreak started, I had to put down my roommate who was basically like a brother to me and it sucked, it still sucks thinking about it. But putting your sister down, it's not going to make me feel less guilty now that you said that, but I appreciate you trying at least." I stood up slowly and hugged him "It's just one thing after another, and now with the governor at our door step, I guess shits going to hit the fan." He hugged me back softly and I pulled back after a minute. "You should really go see Hershel, you don't look too good."

"Yeah, I know… I'll talk to you later?" He nodded and let me go on my way.

I walked up the steps that lead to the overpass bridge that Rick and Hershel went to and stopped when I heard my name coming from Rick's mouth.

"Michonne and… Aurora" Rick said

"Why does he want Aurora? Do they know each other?" Hershel asked and I pressed myself closer to the door, hearing through the crack of it.

"Andrea… Andrea told him about her. Everything, he knows everything and he wants her. Says that he can help her and keep her safer than we could, says that she's the end to all of this madness and death..." I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. How could Andrea just tell him about all of it? Why would she sell me out like that?

"He wants Michonne too, he'll kill her"

"He's going to kill us anyway" Rick said "But what if he doesn't? What if this is the answer?"

"Why didn't you tell them?" Hershel asked

"They need to be scared."

"They are"

"Good, that's the only way they'll accept it" Rick said and after a long pause Hershel started to speak again.

"She saved my life. Saved Carol's life… Daryl wouldn't let you take her to the Governor"

"I know" Rick muttered "I don't know what I'm going to do." I backed away from the door then but continued to listen "Would you risk your daughter's lives for them?"

Would he? I nearly died saving Hershel from that bite on his leg. He still had two legs because of me. Carol was alive because I saved her. Would Rick really just toss me to the side? I guess my life wasn't any more special than theirs. And he had to think about Carl and Judith. I was basically nothing to them; I didn't have a family here. I didn't have ties. So I walked back down the steps and away from the door. My talk with Hershel could wait until I figured out to save my own life.

Daryl was lying on his side once I entered his small perch and I closed the door behind me. There was no way he was going to let Rick bring me to Woodbury. There was no way he was going to let me go without him going with me, right?

So I lay down next to him on my side and brought my arm up to rest under my head. He looked like he was asleep but he wasn't. "What'd he say?" He mumbled as he looked at me with half open eyes.

"Rick and him were talking; I didn't want to interrupt… so war, huh?" I asked and he turned over onto his back and looked up at the ceiling.

"Guess so" He said and we stayed lying there in silence for what felt like five minutes. Taking my hand, I placed it down against his chest and played with the buttons of his shirt.

"Do you think I'm the end to all of this?" I asked him in a small voice

"Could be" He mumbled and then turned his head to look at me "But we ain't gonna find out."

"So you'd risk everyone's lives so that I didn't fall into the hands of the wrong people?" He narrowed his eyes at me

"What are ya…"

"I need to know the answer, yes or no?" I wanted him to say no. I didn't want to be more special than Maggie, or Beth, or even Merle's life. I wanted my life to be as equal as theirs.

"Yeah" He muttered.

Wrong answer.

"Why are ya askin' me…" I cut him off again by kissing him. I didn't want to talk anymore. If a war was coming to us then I was going to make the best of what I was given tonight and then tomorrow I'd figure out the rest. I knew Rick, he wasn't going to give me up to save everyone; so I'd have to save them all myself.

My fingers started to tug at his belt once he rolled over to fit snug between my legs and thankfully this time he didn't stop me. There was so way I would let him stop me for some random excuse anyways, even if it was hard to breathe and I was probably dying from my bites finally.

His hands pulled my shirt up and his rough fingers touched the bite at my ribs accidently and I sucked in a sharp breath. He hesitated but I pulled his mouth down against mine again to get his mind on something else. I hadn't been with a man willingly since before the outbreak. My boyfriend of 2 years was Brett Morgan, he was a 29 year old singer songwriter who moved to Chicago from England; I didn't even get to say goodbye to him. Everyone I ever loved was dead and that was hard to wrap my head around. My mom, my sister, my brother, my dad, my boyfriend, my cousins. All dead.

Daryl's lips moved down my throat and my awful thoughts clouded over with what was happening in the now. I couldn't look at the past anymore, I'd get myself killed too.

I had been pulling at the buttons of his shirt and finally got the last one undone and pushed the shirt off of him to show off his thin but muscular torso. My fingertips moved over the tattoo on his chest and finally I unzipped his jeans and pushed them the best I could down his hips. He gathered both of my hands and moved them to rest above my head against the cemented floor then and I looked up at him questioningly.

"Keep them there" He mumbled against my ear and I nodded. I knew why he wanted them out of the way; I tended to pull the stitches out of my wrist anytime hand movements were involved. His lips moved down the middle of my chest, unhooking the latch in the middle of my breasts and I let out a content sigh. I couldn't remember the last time that thing was off.

He wiped his hands against his jeans to get any dirt off before they went back to my warn skin. His thumbs hooked into my jeans at my hips and started to tug them down and he went along with them as I watched him and then looked up at the ceiling. Even in the damn apocalypse I was still embarrassed that someone was seeing me like this. His fingertips traced against the scars on my hips and down to my inner thighs and I turned my head to the side.

"How'd you get out?" He asked and I glanced at him before shutting my eyes.

"I don't…" I whispered with a small shake of my head. He climbed back up onto my body, keeping the pressure just at my hips.

"They had been treating really well… once they found out how I could save everyone…" I looked up at him and brought my hands to hold onto his forearms that were be the sides of my head. "I told you that the abuse stopped after and it did, well the physical at least. They fed me more; even found a mattress for me a couple of days later and some sheets, clothes…" He brought one of his hands up to brush the blonde hairs away from my temple gently, staying quiet as I finally told him what happened that night. "They had the door locked from the inside, I didn't know about the outside but I knew that Dave kept a key with him at all times; he didn't trust Shawn with it because he was really… rough with me and didn't want to risk it."

"He the one that gave you them scars?" He asked and I nodded

"Anytime I would smart mouth him or wouldn't obey, he would…" I trailed off as I closed my eyes "I learned to speak softly and just do what he wanted me to do after a few months because the pain was becoming to be too much…" I took in a deep breath and licked over my bottom lip, almost tasting the pennies of blood; that taste would always be second nature to me. "So like I said, Dave was nicer at least that's what he thought, what he said… after I heard the gunshot in the direction of where my sister was being held, I didn't hear her coughs anymore or her crying so I assumed that Tony had killed her. They left me alone for a few days, only giving me water like it was before they knew about me saving everyone and I couldn't go back to being a fucking rag doll to them, I couldn't. So I sucked it up and when Dave finally came to check on me, I… seduced him. Afterwards, he had a tendency to fall asleep when he was really worn out so I took the keys and bolted. I got about halfway before Shawn saw me, woke up Dave with his shouting and I had them chasing me through the woods…"

"You did what you had to do" He said and I nodded

"I know, I just wish I went back for Izzy. I didn't think I had the balls to kill someone, but I did that night. I was just tired of having to fear for my life every second" he moved his hand down to the side of my throat and gripped it gently before he moved his lips down against mine again.

"I'm not gonna let anything happen to ya" He mumbled against my bottom lip and I nodded, wishing he wouldn't have said that. "Do you want me to stop?" He asked and I shook my head.

"I need to feel something other than this sadness, even for just a little while" he moved his hand down the center of my chest and down my taut stomach and finally cupped over where I needed that distraction the most. I shivered under his touch while my heart hammered within my chest.

"How am I doin' so far? That sadness goin' away?" He asked and it was a side of Daryl I hadn't witnessed before. A more cocky side and I wasn't complaining, I always thought he knew the way around a woman's body.

"Yes" I gasped as his middle finger slipped between my folds. I could feel him stiffening against my inner thigh and I just wanted to skip all of this part but my body wouldn't let me tell him to stop. "Fuck" I whispered as two of his fingers pushed achingly slow inside of me and curled upward. "You're doing great" I whispered and he chuckled lowly at my compliment from his first question.

"Hands up" I nodded as I put them above my head again with a sly smile.

As he worked my body with his fingers and skillful mouth, all sadness vanished and all I wanted to do was keep this pleasurable feeling for the rest of time. It was building up inside of me, building and building until his fingers left where I needed them to be and they was replaced by something that completely threw me over the edge. I couldn't help but move my hand down to cup over my mouth to muffle the loud moan that had been escaping my lips. I didn't need EVERYONE knowing what we were doing, even though probably most got the idea.

"I always thought you were a screamer" He said down at me as his hips continued to thrust between mine.

"Shut up" I threw back at him once I came down from my high to only feel it start to build again deep within my abdomen. "God, why haven't we done this sooner?" I asked as I moved my fingers through his thin dark ashy hair. He grounded his hips down against mine a bit rougher and let out a quiet groan.

"Just think' the same thing" He said just as he pressed his lips against my jaw.