Just so you all know, I have plans to edit this story when it's finished. All the typos and grammatical errors will be taken care of as soon as I finish chapter 21. Consider everything up right now a rough draft, if you will

This chapter, it's time for the real talks and basically nothing else. Not very exciting, sorry.

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Eren managed to go a solid week before Armin cornered him, and that Eren held out that long was a miracle in and of itself. Perhaps he was being indecisive and contradictory by telling himself not to hide things from Armin and then immediately failing to confide some of the most important details of the situation, but Eren was still conflicted about everything himself. Acknowledging his feelings for Levi and understanding them were two different things, just as admitting them to himself and admitting them to Armin were entirely separate issues. Eren wasn't ready to verbalize any of it, not to the attentive ears of his best friend, not even to the stoic silence of a completely empty room.

But Armin, apparently, was tired of waiting.

When the full extent of Eren's stubborn reluctance became clear, Armin resorted to his version of "drastic measures," neatly nabbing Eren's phone before herding the boy into the bathroom with an expression that brooked no argument. Eren found himself seated on the grubby tile floor of the too-small bathroom, slouching against the door that had clicked locked a moment after it closed. Unfortunately, the bathroom connected to Eren's dorm room connected was shared by another, and locked from both sides for privacy reasons. He could turn the lock on his side all he wanted, but Armin was waiting on the other to turn it right back. He could go through the other dorm room, but the two guys in there were complete dicks who were twice Eren's size, and would undoubtedly just toss Eren straight back in before going to their RA to complain. Eren was trapped until Armin deigned to release him.

"So, you just got a text," Armin announced casually, voice drifting easily through the thin door. Eren sighed, hunching his shoulders up around his ears. "Levi says he knew you would do well on the paper because he practically wrote it for you. He also wants to know if you've murdered 'Kirst-dick,' because you apparently haven't complained about him in a day or two. I'm guessing 'Kirst-dick' is Jean, right? Clever."

"Levi seems to think so," Eren mumbled into his knees, tactlessly avoiding the topic Armin was trying to bring to the fore. "I think it's fitting, myself."

"So is this what you two have been talking about nonstop for the past eight days?" Armin asked. "How much Jean annoys you?" Eren shrugged, even though Armin couldn't see.

"Yeah, I guess. Jean, Hange, school, work – nothing important, really."

"Oh, really? So if I open your texts right now, that's all I'll find? Just unimportant nonsense?" Eren tensed, jerking away from the door before spinning around to bang a fist against it.

"Don't you dare, Armin."

"Why not?" the blonde questioned with a deceptive innocence that made a muscle in Eren's jaw tick. "It's just Jean, Hange, school, and work, right? That's nothing I shouldn't see."

"Armin, don't. We – we talk about our pasts sometimes, okay?" Eren closed his eyes tightly, pressing his forehead against the door hard enough to leave a faint mark by the time he pulled away. "You may know everything about mine already, but you don't know shit about his, and it's none of your fucking business, anyway."

Despite the fact that Armin had been egging Eren on, obviously expecting something, he sounded completely baffled when he spoke next. "It was one thing that you told him – I could understand that, given the circumstances – but you've actually been talking about it?"

"You should be happy," Eren deflected. "You've always wanted me to talk about it with someone other than you, right? This is what you've wanted for years." The lock clicked and the door swung open a moment later, leaving Eren to blink up at the solemn face of his best friend.

"This is more serious than I thought," Armin sighed as Eren stood. "This really isn't a conversation that we should have while you're locked up in the bathroom as a flight risk. If you would kindly not run the moment I step out of the doorway, it would be much appreciated."

"This really isn't a conversation we should have at all," Eren huffed. He brushed passed Armin easily, but made no attempt to leave his dorm, sitting on his bed instead, positioning his pillows so he could lean heavily against the wall.

"It needs to be done," Armin insisted, crossing the short length of the room to sit on Jean's bed. "This isn't just about you and Levi, it's about you and Mikasa. If there's one place I have any right to meddle, it's there. I've been with you two since the beginning. I've been with you since before you met her."

"I don't know what you want me to say." There were a million things that he could say, but none of them were sentiments that Eren actually wanted (or knew how) to put into words. Of those thoughts, he was even more lost as to which ones Armin was looking for.

"You have feelings for him, don't you?" Armin asked, and Eren couldn't even nod in confirmation, returning the question with a desperate one of his own.

"What do I do, Armin? Tell me what to do."

"I can't do that. You know I can't."

"Then help me make the right choice myself," Eren requested. Requested, because there was no way he was begging, no way that he was so torn apart by the couple of months that he had known Levi that he would actually beg for help. Armin's face colored with a regret that had Eren's heart sinking.

"There is no right choice," Armin said softly. Eren's face whitened. "No matter what you do, someone is going to get hurt. No matter what you do, you're going to hurt yourself. There's no getting out of this unscathed."

"Then help me make a decision. Any decision."

Armin did as asked, explaining the situation and available choices as clearly and objectively as he could. Eren had two viable options.

Mikasa was safe. She and Eren loved each other – they always would, no matter what they went through, and no matter how they fought. They needed each other, had been together for so long and through so much that they didn't know how to live without each other. That's why they had started dating. If Eren chose Mikasa (and he hated to think about it in those terms, hated to acknowledge that he was actually considering not choosing Mikasa) they would be together forever. There was no doubt that they would get married, and they would be happy together, for the most part. Their relationship had always had extreme ups and downs – was in one of those "extreme downs" at the moment, actually – and that would never go away. Eren was prone to first of anger, and Mikasa always accidentally antagonized him and made it worse. Sometimes that festered between them, but at the end of the day, they made the relationship work. Eren could stay with her forever and not worry about how things were going to be. He would always have someone to go back to, and no matter how bad things got, he could rest easy, knowing that they were going to be okay in only a matter of time.

Levi, on the other hand, was the risk. A huge risk, surrounded by variables. Eren knew him, but didn't know him well. A relationship between them could potentially end in disaster. Maybe that was more likely than it being successful. For one thing, Levi was a man and Eren had never been – and still wasn't – attracted to men. Levi was no exception to that. Eren wanted to be close to Levi in ways he couldn't completely understand, but he still felt no attraction to the man, and Eren had no clue how that could affect a potential relationship. There was also Eren's reservations towards the whole concept of "soulmates" in general. Levi had done nothing wrong, but Eren found himself reminded of Grisha, regardless. Levi wasn't cruel, but he was a far cry from kind, and who knew how he could change as time went on? Who knew what he was or wasn't capable of? Just by existing, Levi was silently demanding that Eren give up everything for him. Eren was terrified that doing so would lead to his own destruction, like it had for his mother. And to choose Levi would mean giving up Mikasa, a term that Eren could come to terms with, even as he realized the potential of a relationship between himself and Levi. But there was always the chance that being with Levi would be perfect. That it would be everything Eren had only gotten a hint of in their moments of banter and quiet understanding. There was the possibility that Levi really was everything society had promised: Eren's destines other half. Eren and Levi had been connected by red lines around their arms for 31 years. That was twelve years longer than Eren had even been alive. It was also no small matter that Eren could feel Levi beneath his skin whenever he thought about the man, feel the gentle, reassuring tug that was always saying "he's that way if you need him." Eren had no idea when he had opened himself up to the bond enough to let it actually connect, but he had realized a few days ago, and he hadn't been able to bring himself to block it. He couldn't imagine cutting it off like that (and wouldn't admit that, if he did, he feared he would someday Levi would die with Eren none-the-wiser).

The irony was not lost on Eren. For years, he had thought he was being so daring by staying with Mikasa instead of searching for his soulmate. He thought he was taking some huge risk on her, when he now realized that it was the opposite. Mikasa had always been his safety net, and half the reason he wanted to say with her was because he had always been with her, and no longer knew how to be without her. He had thought that his soulmate was the safe option, because everything in society said that he should be with them, but choosing Levi would be risking everything.

At the end of everything, Eren's choice seemed obvious, but no easier.

"I don't know how to do it," he sighed, gripping his hair tightly. "I can't lose her, I can't."

"You know," Armin said, with forced lightness, "I was so upset when you two started dating. I saw it coming, and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it, but you two were never good together. You didn't start dating because you loved each other. You did love each other, but that wasn't your motive. You only started dating because you needed each other. You were best friends, like siblings almost, but you were so desperate to be as close as you could, to never lose each other no matter what, that you started dating, even though you weren't a good romantic match. You two don't even know how you love each other anymore: friends, siblings, lovers – your wires are all crossed."

"I thought you weren't supposed to take sides," Eren growled. The words struck too close to home. They misrepresented some things, ever so slightly, but there was more than a grain of truth to them.

"You've already made your decision," Armin replied with a shrug. "I can't influence it now. I'm hardly going to tell you to break up with our best friend and single-handedly ruin your relationship, but if you've made the choice yourself, then voicing my opinion can't cause any harm."

"I just don't know how to do it." For this, Armin had no advice to offer. They both jumped as the door to the dorm swung open.

"You have until Monday," Jean said with uncharacteristic seriousness. "If you don't do it by then, I'm doing it for you." He grabbed the bag he had forgotten before leaving without further word. Eren cursed thin doors and nosey roommates, wondering if his heart would ever start pumping again after that skipped beat, and half-hoping it wouldn't.

That would make many things a lot easier.

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You know, I was really content. I was like "oh yeah, Risk is almost done, and I have an idea that I can work on when I finish it, and it's gonna be cute, and maybe a little angsty, and life will be great," and then...

I had another fucking idea.

Now I don't know which one to write :c