x x J x x - Have I Told You Lately?

by buddieswithbilis

Part Three - At the end of Part Two it was revealed that, for understandable reasons, Jack had jetted back to the States without saying a word to his 'estranged' boyfriend. Is there still hope for Jack and Ianto? Okay, yeah, stupid question I know ... but why not jump back on board their big red London bus to find out anyway?

14. Tempus Fugit

Hi there.

My profuse apologies for being unexpectedly extracted from the scene for so long ... it's no lie to say: "I'm glad to be back".

By the way, you might want to grab a large pot of coffee before diving into this (rather long ... sorry) chapter. ... bwb.

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Chapter Fourteen

-o- -o-

-o- -o-

Tempus Fugit

-o- -o-

-o- -o-

Ianto swallowed, dragged his sandpaper-coated tongue from the roof of his mouth, then tried again. His second-most favourite orifice appeared to be getting drier by the second; as the appropriate muscles contracted, sending a minimal amount of saliva on its way, a small ball of spit became lodged at the back of his throat. He tried again, made a weird gulping sound as he forced down nothing but air.

It was time to get a grip, especially as he appeared to be experiencing problems of the chambre kind too. More specifically, he had a bit of an issue going on with his personal sleeping space. Normally his pride and joy, in dishing out silent promises to the two weakened souls now trapped within, his master bedroom had transformed itself into a four-walled Siren, was now a parlour of sin, a cave of debauchery, a temple, filled floor to ceiling with every carnal promise known to man.

In short ... it was Jones the Bastard's idea of what heaven would be like, should he ever be granted the chance to reach such dizzying heights.

A hedonistic paradise.

Trouble was, right at this very moment, he wasn't feeling the love for any version on offer.

A minor miracle in itself, it had to be said.

-o-

In the midst of performing a mission impossible, fighting back nerves he was currently working on a move to make 'Jones the Bastard' look ultra cool - hence it being something of an impossible mission. What he'd initially suggested he and Jack should come inside for, was still what he most definitely wanted to do, but the second he'd set foot inside his suddenly treacherous bedroom, things had started to move along at warp factor speed - all at once he'd been feeling the need to think things through a little more thoroughly - had still to be convinced that he wasn't actually rushing into a situation from which he'd find no viable escape route.

The time was flying too. Through the slats ahead he could pick out the last few fading rays of sunshine. Wasn't it only seconds ago he'd been outside happily agreeing with Jack that they should think twice before rushing into things? Had his suggestion that they might like to come inside to 'play', actually been a step too far too soon? After all, it really wasn't like him to be quite this impulsive.

Something was definitely amiss. Whoever was playing games with his head, was also messing around with time. The seconds seemed to be whizzing by at double, no, triple speed; how else could he already have come within touching distance of his blind? Signalling the start of all things mortiifying, any moment now he'd be plunging them both into darkness.

Don't panic.

A silent breath was inhaled, the situation was given a respectful amount of thought, then the same breath, if a tad staler, was returned just as innocuously to the ether.

Maybe this really would, most definitely definitely, be a good point for him to get a grip on things.

-o- -o- -o-

Still aware of Jack's presence a pace or three behind him, thinking hurriedly, Ianto got back to choosing which move might ultimately present him in his best light ... the use of one large step to reach his target, or a less manly looking, two mini ones. It was fast becoming a conundrum too far, was one he could really have done without altogether if he was honest. His every cranial impulse to this point had been focused only on their up and coming plans. As plans went, he didn't consider this latest one to be the worst he'd ever come up with, though thinking through all the possible options connected to said plan, did seem to have left him feeling a little trepidatious.

Actually, jittery had been the word most coming to mind. And as his bedroom blind came flying unexpectedly toward him, Jones the Unsteady could only concede that, this particular case of the jitters, had most definitely won on the day.

He'd tripped over his own feet.

Performing a slow-mo overbalancing act he snatched hold of the toggle ahead. Dragging it downward with a lunging tug, he managed to trigger a sequence of events, the first of which saw each wooden slat become intimately acquainted with its direct neighbour. Not the coolest of maneuvers he'd ever made; embarrassingly, on top of all things unstable, the ensuing loud whip-crack of a noise had also sent him jumping out of his skin.

Something was seriously wrong with Hampstead's finest. Okay, granted, ultimately he'd managed to stay upright (after a fashion), but things had definitely not gone according to that well-laid plan of his.

It took a split second for his tortured brain to kick in. Something wasn't right, something had ... changed. Something about him, specifically, was very, very ... different. Just minutes earlier he'd been practically back to his old self; heart thumping for all the right reasons, he'd left the garden to come inside with Jack feeling strong and full of confidence. But now, this? Had incidental occurrences suddenly decided they wanted to become his worst enemy? What was next ... the light above, dropping onto his head? A lightning strike, burning the entire apartment block to the ground?

An earthquake?

The internal sigh was deep and revealing. An earthquake? For god's sake Jones, what are you thinking man? Just get a fucking grip.

Now he was just being stupid, he was making a big deal out of nothing. He could deal with being here with Jack, no problem. After all, would Jack be feeling even remotely bothered by any of this? No, of course he wouldn't. No way would Jack be so uncool.

Whoa ...

Jones the Uncool?

Didn't have quite the same ring to it, did it?

Definitely not an option then.

-o- -o- -o-

Ignoring the fact that every passing second was still insisting on disappearing up its own arse, someone set about convincing himself that he might be overreacting a little. It was difficult though, because something about him had most definitely changed. In contrast to their time spent out in the garden, where ,for himself, at least, it'd been practically laugh-out-loud a minute, a show of muted mutual respect was now being observed. Admittedly it was making things a little awkward for them. But was that such a bad thing? Was the pair of them not wanting to upset each other in any way, such a crime? They were being on their best behaviour, which was a really good thing. And they were doing equally as well in the 'wait and see' stakes. Rarely had a conjoined breath been held so assuredly ... never before had the necessary p's and q's been ... quite so beautifully ... peed and queued.

Ianto had a fair idea what might really be going on. He also had a sneaking suspicion that Jack was sensing the same thing too - that, tonight, something special; something much more than just a kiss and a cuddle, might be in the offing.

This could actually be their make or break moment This was why all moments of lighthearted banter had been abandoned to that other special world ... the one of hopeful lovers, pruned trees ... and gardeners. And with his deployed blind now preventing all possibility of prying eyes, there was absolutely nothing to prevent them from making up for each of those long months spent missing each other.

Well, nothing of course, but themselves.

So, in a moment where courage had very quickly become the only thing to matter ... was it time for Jones the Wary to throw caution to the wind?

After all ...

They didn't exactly have all the time in the world, did they?

-o-

-o-

-o- -o- -o- -o-

-o-

-o-

With a nod that, albeit clumsily, his initial task had been completed, releasing one cord to pull down on another, Ianto clicked the nearby sidelight into life.

A moment of hesitation followed. It threatened to betray him in the unkindest of fashions, yet, straightening his shoulders he was soon back on track, side-stepping his way along to the end of the bed where, at long last, he mustered the courage to face Jack.

Another nod accompanied the full spot-rotation. "There we are, then."

The lamp now shining away to his left, was making a spiteful show of his unconvincing smile. As if aware of the fact himself, Ianto was standing there, stock-still, locked rigid, fingers clasped in front of him as if about to deliver a sermon.

"That should do it. Nice and private. Don't want to shock the shit out of my nice new gardener, do we? Hard to find you know, reliable gardeners, especially ones with a body like ... "

Feasting hungrily on a meal of held breath and anticipation, once again the air in the room had become suffocating full and fat. Still frozen mid-sentence, it didn't seem relevant to Ianto that his abrupt halting of the conversation had gone, and continued to remain, unacknowledged, his horrified expression was pronouncing him guilty as charged regardless of all things sensical.

Another long moment of unease got underway. The seconds, all of them potentially tortuous, looked to be passing vindictively slowly for him. Employing his trademark self-dismissive huff as an opener the original ending to his doomed sentence was given short shrift.

"Anyway, we're not here to talk about my fucking gardener, are we?"

A closed smile appeared. It became wide and genuine. A new and encouraging, air of confidence was being emitted. He near as damn it looked like a man who actually knew what he was doing.

Only ... he didn't.

Ianto Jones was more hopelessly adrift than ever. His gallant effort a futile one, he was currently trying to convince the world that it was himself and not Jack who was the actor, but on the inside his nerves where acting out a much more revealing story. Feeling the need to challenge this latest change in mood, his stupefied self was busy second-guessing what the hell had gone so suddenly wrong with him. No more than five minutes earlier he'd been full of cocky attitude, had been feeling better than he had done in months, so why was he feeling so uncertain of himself right now? There was no reason for him to be harbouring any performance issues; he and Jack hadn't entered the apartment with plans for something heavy to happen, so his present levels of staying power had never once been under scrutiny.

It was all so bloody frustrating.

"Bloody gardener, forget I ever said anything ... don't why I fucking mentioned him in the first place if I'm honest."

Never before, had a despairing whimper been so expertly concealed. With his dry mouth now deciding to spout nonsensities of its own volition, the only thought currently occurring to Jones the Trap was that he might want to shut up and stay that way - the more he said, the more stupid he was sounding.

The gut feeling that something more than just soft play was on the cards for him and Jack, wasn't helping any either.

Trying to stop his mind from going into overdrive, he began to wonder how many seconds had passed since his last comment. Noticing the strange look on Jack's face, he couldn't decide if the poor guy had been standing there waiting for something typically witty and Welsh to spill out, or had been thinking something far, far worse ... like why he'd ever thought the idea of coming back to the UK, would be a good one. He was probably wondering right now, how long to leave it before walking out in disgust ... back out to find the new and very hunky gardener.

.

Ianto felt nauseous. He resisted the urge to feel his cheeks, wondered if his pallour had changed at all. His tongue had certainly adhered itself to the roof of his mouth again. He was so scared of losing Jack; knew that if he did lose him, this time it would be for good. It was time to face facts, he was nothing but a mess around the man, no matter how hard he tried to be otherwise. When he was with Jack, all moments of bravado were quite naturally fake. He was useless.

So could Jack see this? Could Jack see through him? Could Jack tell how much of a nervous wreck he was, even now? One day Jack was going to wake up, realise what a massive fucking mistake he'd made, then wave bye-bye.

The pain of letting him go again, would be unbearable.

A lump appeared. It blocked a dry throat, came out in sympathy of the predicted future for its owner.

Someone's confused head began to hurt. Maybe it was time to just accept that Jack did know what he was doing. After all, he had just traveled thousands of miles to give things a go.

Besides ... what was the alternative? Did he really want to let the man he loved with all his heart, just disappear for good? Hadn't he already conceded, that his own life wouldn't be worth living if he couldn't have Jack by his side?

The neural pathways began to clear a little.

-o- -o- -o-

In the past, Jones the Numnut had found repeated reasons to kick himself repeatedly. He was busy processing another one of those reasons right now.

Bottom line?

He was a fucking idiot. But it was time to change.

Was he ready to go get what he really wanted?

Absolutely.

And was he about to lose Jack Harkness?

No ... Fucking ... Way.

-o- -o- -o-

-o- -o- -o-

-o- -o- -o-

Frustratingly, despite some clearer thinking going on, the stand-off at the O K Corral seemed set to continue. Presumably with neither really feeling brave enough to make the first move, trapped in an eyeballing stalemate; stood there like a couple of second rate amateurs, love's young dream seemed only more disconnected than ever.

Which was sad.

And of course ... kind of ironic.

But they did have one thing going in their favour.

Bringing up the rear, on his way in, Jack had made doubly sure that the door was tightly closed. As a consequence, the room was getting warmer and warmer - a huge bonus, surely, in the melting of hearts stakes? The changing atmospherics were already promising to step things up a thermostatically-governed gear much quicker than usual.

Which was fortunate.

And of course ... kind of ironic.

Given that right now they needed all the bloody help they could get.

-o- -o- -o-

Still determined to confound his earlier show of nerves, it was Ianto who made the first move.

Knowing that counting to ten had worked for him in the past, lowering his lids, he attempted to calm himself completely. A silent count of fifteen proved enough to give him the courage to lift them again.

He found a smile, the only smile ever to take his breath away, sitting there waiting to greet him. His heart jumped high. A quavering, mostly silent, breath was forced out. How could he ever have doubted this was real? This was Jack. His Jack And he loved him to distraction.

"Hey Yan, look, if you've changed your mind, its okay ... just say if you don't feel so comfortable right now and we'll go do somethin' else."

"Something else?"

Jack's statement, posed with a familiar bounce of innocent amusement, had been enough to send one bemused daydreamer jumping out of his skin for a second time.

"Yeah, somethin' else, y'know ... anythin' really ... I'm kinda gettin' the distinct impression you don't feel like puttin' on a show today." Nodding over to the closed blind, Jack continued to stand there, hands on hips, studying the expression on his boyfriend's face. He gave a triumphant grin. "I'm right, aren't I!"

Brows decided to knit. They became responsible for the formation of the cutest little boy lost frown, ever. "Jack, wh, why did you say ... put on a show?"

So much for the Jones burst of courage and newly conceived set of acting abilities.

Nursing a twitch in one eye, and with the definite promise of a stammer forming, Ianto had been left sorely wanting for a sufficient come-back, mostly because Jack's observation about him had been spot on. In truth, he'd been feeling no desire whatsoever to share this special moment of theirs. Him choosing to close his blind today had been something of a privacy prerequisite; ironically his most favourite feature of the entire property, the large bay in his master bedroom had always offered a wonderful view out over the garden - it was just a shame that the same wide vista allowed anyone stood on the outside, an even more wonderful view of the boudoir sitting right there on the inside.

Of course ... the icing on the cake? Who was still out there, tinkering in a manly fashion out in the garden?

No fucking way was he getting a piece of Jack ... hot gardener's body, or not.

"Yan? Yan, look, don't worry. Yan? Hey ... it's okay, I'm not complainin' here, I was just teasin' you as usual, that's all."

Jack had clearly begun to sense a new wave of anxiety setting in. "Listen', it's fine ... if we do, we're still doin' this however you wanna play it, okay? I haven't forgotten this is your call." Head tipping to one side, he began to edge himself a little closer. "We're still goin' down the nothin' heavy route, I take it?"

"Yes, if you don't mind trying it that way to start with. We can ... oh you are such a daft fucking sod." Lips pursing, trying vainly to veil his sudden sense of amusement, Ianto was studying the eight digits now wiggling away at him.

"Do I get to use all of these?" Jack's fingers began to fidget at double speed.

Ianto was still holding onto his coyest smirk to date. "Yep, I mean ... I suppose it wouldn't hurt."

"And these, too?" Both thumbs were thrust into the air.

Stance softening, Ianto allowed Jack a defeated grin. "Yes, you fool, you can use them all, if that's what floats your boat. Who knows, I might even let you use your lips, too ... if you're a very lucky boy."

Jack was sent a quick wink. Someone was starting to feel much more like his old self. In a blatant move to bring the two of them closer still, teasingly running his tongue across his top lip, Ianto took one very brave step closer.

The move went down remarkably well.

"W'okay …." Taking another step forward himself, panting like a red-hot canine, the more brazen of the two had his tongue hanging lecherously from his mouth.

A grin appeared. Ianto found he was having fun again. "Oh, so what's this, Harkness ... you think you're going to use your tongue on me as well, do you, you filthy bastard?"

Those confidence levels were rising for sure. He was now wondering why he'd been feeling the need to panic so much in the first place. "Though, thinking 'bout it, maybe having you lick every inch of my body, wouldn't be such bad idea after all." he concluded, all pursing lips and pouting mouth himself.

The temperature in the room climbed a few more notches, and with the man stood opposite now staring opened mouthed at him, Ianto reached a new decision. If, as things moved along, Jack were to decide he'd like to experience a little more than previously agreed ... then a little more, he would be granted. Though the handsome fool might find himself being worked into a frenzy to start with ... there had to be some perks along the way, and if anyone knew how to work Jack Harkness with the minimum of effort, it was most definitely the baddest Welsh boy on the block. The one who, right now, appeared to be making something of a comeback.

"What's up, Harkness ... cat got that filthy tongue of yours?"

"Yeah ... no ... I mean. Oh wow ..."

A rather telling croak had begun to escape that professionally trained voice box. "Really? My tongue? Over every single inch?"

Ianto narrowed his eyes a little, used those dark lashes to full effect. "All over." was huskily confirmed.

A crooked half-smile appeared. Jack took the final step required to reach his target. "Ohhhhh yeah … I sure am likin' the sounda that." The tip of one finger was dragged from sternum to navel. "Oh I'm likin' the sounda that a lot, you naughty boy. But first I just wanna ..." A thumb was brushed very gently over Ianto's lower lip. "I mean, what I'm tryin'a say is ..." The croak was becoming emotional. "Oh god, Yan ... I've missed you so much."

It wasn't the most ideal of times for a floodgate moment, but it'd been on the cards from the word go. And proving a point to anyone that cared, having always been stacked in favour of Jack reaching for the tissues first, the odds were now celebrating. After too many months, too many sleepless nights, and too many moments of suppressed emotion, finally the weight had become just too much for him to bear.

He cupped a cheek, brought their mouths together. Tears spilling as he closed his eyes, he knew exactly what message his disobedient lips were passing on - they were speaking in volumes of everything he knew he wasn't allowed to say.

It briefly occurred that he was taking one hell of a chance, but luckily Ianto seemed too lost in the moment to notice, so he went right ahead and let those feelings flow.

-o- -o- -o-

Feeling an arm snake its way around his waist, drowning in the embrace, Ianto relaxed into hold. He'd always enjoyed kissing Jack, more than any other guy in fact, and for many different reasons, but, this time around, the touch of those lips on his seemed even more special than usual. He draped an arm over each shoulder, folded them inward, claimed Jack as his own. Each time their lips came together, he allowed their tongues to touch first. It felt exquisite. Unlike his own, Jack's tongue was wet, felt soft and inviting as it danced lightly, tip to tip. As they appeared again, eager for more, he gently pressed his lips onto Jack's then lost himself in their cushioned embrace. His heart was thumping hard now, was almost disguising the fact that someone was murmuring with pleasure; he soon realised the noises were coming from himself.

A second later he became the first to part his lips wide enough to matter.

Some things were just too good to wait for.

-o- -o- -o-

It'd been an invitation and no mistake. With a hungry moan, Jack drove his tongue inside, lay a palm on the back of Ianto's head as he pulled him closer. Taking full advantage, he forced their mouths hard together. It became a free for all. Hands began to palm and stroke, were grasping greedily at handfuls of cloth as they felt their way around. Every touch, no matter who from, seemed desperate. Every whimper, pitch rising, sounded urgent. Lids closed to the rest of the world, they'd found the easiest way to lose themselves in each other.

With a deep gasp, it was Jack who first obeyed his body's call for oxygen.

As he took stock of the special moment, his laugh was breathy and joyous. "Please, God, just let me do this for the rest of my life."

Angling his face, preparing for round two, he paused for a long, long moment; took in the handsomeness of the features sat before him. The blown pupils, the pursing 'eager for more' swollen lips edging impatiently closer to his own ... they were telling him just one thing. That the man he feared he'd lost forever had, all this time, been missing him just as desperately, too.

He quickly kissed the sexy pout away, once more began to brush his thumb over a lower lip. "These lips are mine forever, Ianto Jones ... an' don't you dare ever forget that."

Looking a little perturbed, it was Ianto who felt obliged to ask, "Is it just me, or does this feel sort of ... different, this time?"

Twin frowns formed.

"Actually, I can safely say it's not just you, 'cause I do know what you mean; I've definitely been feelin' somethin' strange goin' on, too." Jack whispered, drawing a soft nod from Ianto.

Their eyes locked again.

It didn't take much for them both to become completely lost in thought. They did indeed both know that something very different was happening. Something ... special. Without much of a prompt, the ongoing stretch of silence from earlier had made a return, and still staring into each other's eyes, blinking slowly over and over, the two love-birds became stuck fast again.

Stalling his thumb's caress, Jack tried to focus on the small smile doing its best to form opposite. The sight quickly became enough to set him off again - it was saying so much more than usual, and he damned Ianto Jones for not being able to tell him how he was really feeling.

"Yan , I …"

That same three-worded phrase repeating itself over and over inside his own brain, just wouldn't go away. It was almost demanding to be shared. But Jack Harkness, for all his shortcomings, knew way better than to whisper 'I love you' when he knew it would be a guaranteed recipe for disaster.

Leaving it burning a hole at his centre, swallowing the declaration he continued to drink in every soft line, every cheek tremor, every blink. A sudden feeling of oneness, left him believing that the man in his arms was experiencing the exact same sensations too, that, trapped by that over-protective heart of his, his lovely Yan was struggling equally as much to deal with this latest wave of emotion.

It was so ironic that neither of them had the courage to just say the words.

He tried to send his message telepathically. It didn't work.

Love.

It was such an emotive word, could mean so many varied things for so many different occasions. But nothing was as important as how he was feeling right now. He wanted to scream with frustration, felt tempted to threaten Ianto with violence should he refuse, on request, to reveal his feelings too. The urge within was overwhelming, the need to share his message was growing dangerously strong.

In a moment of desperation, he considered chancing his luck.

Fortunately, fear won out.

With a sudden rush, a sharp spike of negative vibes formed right at the front of his brain. It'd instantly been enough to kick a harsh amount of sense into him and, sadly, that moment had become the complete undoing of their safe-mode dream-state.

Reality was kicking back in with a vengeance. As quickly as it'd begun, the magical feeling they'd created between them was gone.

Cursing silently, back in the room, Jack was taking full blame for ruining the mood. It was that warning kicking in, that'd caused him to blink with an out of character rapidness. Lids fluttering over and over, he'd broken the connection and, by association, had shattered the spell. As a result they were back as if nothing even remotely special had been going on.

The fact shouldn't have mattered.

But it did.

-o-

As he was fixed with an understanding stare, a devastated Jack was feeling nothing but heartbroken in his loss. Features creasing, his anguish was clear. "Damn you, Ianto Jones ... why can't you just let me say it?"

He drew them closer, slipped his fingers through the longer than usual layers of hair. As they stood there, noses touching, "I'm sorry," he sighed, "I know I make you feel uncomfortable when I get like this, believe me, the last thing I wanna do is scare you away again, because you make me so happy. All I really want is for things to be perfect between us."

"And, still, he insists on using words."

An amused Ianto was wearing a fetching crease at the corner of each eye. "I'm not that hardhearted, you fool ... I know you don't mean any harm. But d'you think you could just try to shut up, just for two seconds? Why not try giving the whole 'actions speak louder than words' thing a go ... before you have us both in tears."

The Jones smile grew wider, the creases enhancing each steely blue, deepened. "Only a moment ago you were begging to put your fingers to good use, why not try giving that idea a go for a while?"

Delivered with a small laugh, hearing the reminder, Jack knew it was time for the sensible side of him to take the hint. Without a word he employed both hands to frame Ianto's face and ever so slowly brought their lips together.

There was no hesitation. He felt a pair of arms, full of possessive intent, slip around his waist. Instinctively he nudged his hips forward, a growing length pulsed against his own. As if granting his silent wish, Ianto began to rub firmly from side to side - an ache, intense, warm and insistent, settled at Jack's core. As the move was repeated, a needy moan escaped him with ease.

Ianto broke the kiss, stared into Jack's eyes. Further south, their bodies had more than begun to make up for lost time. He groaned as their cocks strained in unison. "Fuck ..." He continued to massage, rubbed back and forth back and forth; saw all expression leave Jack's face and continued to watch him bliss out as the same sensations washed over him too.

"Feels nice, don't it?"

Observation delivered with breathy whisper, he crushed their lips together, sent a groan slipping into Jack's mouth as a wave of arousal did a dance inside his belly. A path of fire began to twist like a tornado, it sped around the circumference of each ball then screamed along the entire length of his cock, making it longer, fatter and harder than he could ever remember. He squeezed his hands into the narrow gap between them, set his fingers to work on Jack's fly. A delighted moan vibrated over his tongue and smiling into the kiss he worked as fast as he could, didn't stop until all of the buttons were undone.

Without warning he shoved the item of clothing as far south as his extended reach would allow.

The cargoes were three-quarters way down Jack's thighs. He pulled away with a noisy gasp. "Oh yeah, good call ... we really need to get outta these clothes."

Stepping out of hold Ianto did the same. Sex-starved and stumbling around in their hastiness, both men proceeded to strip faster than any other human on record. Three months was a very long time in anyone's book.

Leaping onto the bed, Jack turned with a bounce. Kneeling and wavering about on the spot, he hinted with a nod that someone might want to occupy the space directly in front of him. His request was obeyed and his gaze became fixed on the bobbing length heading his way. "Y'know Yan, I suddenly have one hell of thirst on me, an' when I say my lips have missed savourin' every inch of that beauty, believe me, they reeeally, reeeally have."

Just shy of touching distance, the object of his desire drew closer. Forever with a mind of its own, Ianto's hot flesh pulsed - Jack felt it brush against him - controlled his balance - managed to contain the burst of noisy air. But the ache within him deepened painfully. He tried to think of something clever to say, but decided instead that he should just kiss the life out of that gorgeous mouth in front of him.

He didn't get that far.

"What did you have in mind?" Ianto asked without blinking.

Keeping an eye out for each and every reaction, enclosing Ianto's shaft with his palm, Jack held it gently at first, then squeezed a little harder.

The first move had been made.

Physical contact.

Intimate contact.

Jack was making his intent very clear - he was no longer prepared to disguise his need.

But this was his limit, this was as far as he would go. How the game progressed from here was still down to Ianto, who, for his many sins, appeared to have been rendered immobile.

In a daze, Ianto finally placed his hands on Jack's body, sent them sliding over every point that he could reach - chest first, then shoulders, the toned back, and then, finally, that perfect fucking ass.

Only difference this time?

Jack was naked.

Drowning in the sensation, as familiar fingers began to knead his bare cheeks, Jack felt both surprised and delighted. As his face was clasped and peppered with small, sweet kisses he became one big bundle of thankful smiles. Watching Ianto crack a smile in return bolstered him on. He started to move his palm, maintained a slow rhythm at first. The touch of Ianto's hot skin was making his own tingle. A part of him, the delighted part, wanted to squeeze as hard as he could, but increasing his tempo only, he remained careful to keep his touch teasing and delicate.

After a few moments, the lids sat before him began to flutter. Ianto caught his bottom lip between his incisors and began to moan lightly. That was Jack's cue to add a twist to the proceedings.

A gasp and instant murmur of approval encouraged him to continue, raising the bar a little higher he began to stroke his free hand over the outside of Ianto's right thigh. His lips found an earlobe to nibble on. "See ... I'm makin' good use of my hands, just like you suggested."

The reward of a chuckle was heartwarming, but still not quite enough. Calling time on administering a trailing path of small delicate kisses, Jack set about revealing the rest of his plan. "I'd also like to point out that my mouth wants to feel you just as badly ... sohhhhh ..."

"It does?" Returning the favour, Ianto had begun to kiss his way around one ear. Dipping lower, he began to nuzzle Jack's neck. "Your mouth, you say?" he double-checked, slowly closing his eyes and losing himself.

"Uh huh. I mean ... don't get me wrong ... your cock feels so fricken' hot slippin' through my fingers like this an', oh,Jesus I've missed this baby ... " An extra tight squeeze was added to prove a point, "But, right now, all I can think about is feelin' you slide in an' outta these really soft lips of mine."

Hoping for a peck, Jack pursed his lips in a ready to go moment. "Did I mention they were reeeeeeeeally soft? Here, try them out for size, see what you think."

He puckered up again.

The base of his throat was kissed instead.

"Okaay, the 'ole kissin' of the throat trick, huh? Yeah, I can go with that too." The show of bright azure disappeared behind closing lids. "Yeah, tha' feels real nice an' ... oh Jesus Yan, that feels good ... I've missed this so much. Um ... where was I?"

The vague tones seemed to have amused Ianto. Busy laughing quietly onto Jack's neck, he hadn't failed to notice that the more he kissed, the more erratic Jack's breathing was becoming.

"Don't think you can put me off with those sexy lips of yours, Mr Jones - my tongue still wants to taste you. An' just for the record, I'm plannin' on drinkin' every last drop that pumps out."

Ianto whimpered ... .just a little.

Jack's grin said he wasn't totally displeased by the fact. "Oh, so, okaaaaay ... someone sure likes the sounda that. So does this mean you're gonna be okay with me slippin' my lips over this baby for a short while?"

As his shaft was gripped hard, and a tongue licked a wet line across his right lobe, Ianto failed to keep his deep moan housed. He was forced to swallow before answering "Um ... I'm not sure ... let me just check on my situation here ... blood shooting warp factor through my veins? Yep ... Is every pint I own, being sent at palpitation speed down to my cock? Aaaaand, that'd be a yep again."

Jack's crooked smile appeared. "So gimme a clue ... is that a yes or a no on getting the life sucked out of it?"

As his shaft was given a deliberately hard squeeze, a speechless Ianto gave one deep, drop-nod of affirmation.

A smiling Jack held him close, once again pressed his lips to one ear. "Good ... 'cause I wanna hear you scream, real loud."

Very slowly he guided Ianto onto his back. In a beat he had him stretched out on the bed, right where he wanted him. Resting back on his calves, he began to lower his own body, and in no time the kicking length he desired so much was barely an inch from his lips. Slowly gazing upward, following the contours of the rest of that beautiful body, he found Ianto's eyes and held the stare. A lustful look was begging him to get on with things. He smiled as he lowered his mouth.

Ianto let out a despair-filled gasp. Allowing the heat of his breath, only, to make contact with his boyfriend's flesh, Jack had stopped just short of commencing with his promise.

Once composure was regained, the threatening Welsh accent wasted no time in coming through loud and clear. "Don't you dare, Harkness ... no games, you hear? No games, you teasing bastard, not today ... I've been waiting too long"

Laughing quietly, his lips curling up on one side, Jack licked away a drop of pre-cum. The loud curse aimed his way sent his shoulders rocking with silent laughter, he continued to disobey orders by making a noisy affair of licking his lips. The deep growl in response was duly noted and without warning he dragged his flattened tongue from root to tip.

Hoping to catch his prey's reaction, he raised his gaze. It was a sight worth seeing again, he decided, so repeated the same move again, only this time he hummed as he licked.

Ianto's shoulders were digging deeper and deeper into the pillow. "Fuuuuuuuuck …."

He managed to raise his head, shared a scowl, which soon became a moment of pathetic face creasing. "Jaaaaack ... pleeeease."

Jack repeated the same move a few more times, then sat back laughing.

"Bastard!"

Ianto appeared to be caught mid way between bursts of genuine laughter and frustrated, angry tears.

Drawing saliva into his mouth, with a nod Jack could only agree that, today of all days, he was being a complete bastard. Without warning he dropped down, gripped Ianto's shaft at the base and sank his lips as far down as they would go.

"SHIT!"

This time Ianto's shoulders were way off the bed, but only because he was doing his best to watch Jack perform. "Oh, god."

Muscles failing him, he flopped back down onto the pillow. Drawn in slowly through Jack's lips, his cock was being very gently suckled upon. "Hey, Jack, you say your mouth's been missing my cock? Well guess what ... my cock's missed your mouth, so much fucking more."

The quip was appreciated by both parties, the resulting hums of amusement on Jack's part, made for some very effective moments of vibration.

Once the Welsh expletives had died down, he continued to suck lovingly.

"Oh, god that's nice." Ianto's twisting fingers found the duvet. "Jack? Go to town on me ... come on, suck it harrrrrr..."

Sliding his mouth up and down, eyes closing as he savoured each moment, an invested Jack was more than happy to oblige. As Ianto began to writhe around on the bed beneath him, he adjusted his position so that he was able to slide his mouth all the way down. With Ianto's fingers now forcing their way through his hair, cheeks hollowing, he sucked harder than ever before.

The receiver was losing his cool. Gaining purchase with his hands, feet flat, hips hitching again, he began to fuck himself into Jack's mouth. "Oh, Jesus ..." Taking every inch in, his throat filling as he slammed all the way down, Jack's bottom lip was smacking onto his ball sac with the most heavenly, torturous, bounce.

Completely contented, hidden beneath closed lids, Jack's eyes were sparkling away. Pulling back with a noisy pop, he peeked above the fleshy wand to give a wide grin. "Feel good?" He lightly traced his fingers over Ianto's spit-drizzled sac. The groan in response drew a grin from him. "Wanna try somethin' a little different for our first time?"

Watching Ianto raise one brow, Jack drew some extra saliva into his mouth. "Not gonna do anythin' heavy," he promised, moistening a middle finger as a hint, "I'd just really like it if you could take over while I tease you; you know how much I love watchin' you make yourself come."

Ianto took the request on board with an upwardly mobile, if rather ironic, smile - thanks to the talents of his boyfriend's mouth, his cock was already aching to bursting point, and making himself come for Jack's viewing pleasure was going to be a toe-tingling relief for himself more than anything.

Shuffling sideways, moving further up the bed, Jack braced himself at an angle then dipped down to help himself to a sloppy kiss. The tongue winding around his own, began to lick and slide. "Taste nice?" he guessed with a chuckle, backing away.

Further down, an eager Ianto had already started with a reverse grip. Watching Jack make his way back down to the business end of things, he readied himself by raising his knees and, dragging his feet closer; resting them both flat on the bed, he lay there with his legs splayed wide in invitation.

The wordless instruction was given for him to lift his hips. As he did so, a pillow was popped beneath him. He peered between his thighs; Jack had already found the bottle of oil; brows flicking, he was popping the cap with a noisy click.

A little of the liquid found its way onto Jack's fingertips. He began to brush them over one much-missed pucker. Eyes closing, Ianto began to moan deep and low. His cock was rock hard and a trail of juice was dribbling down the side of his shaft. Things were getting noisily sticky as he continued to furiously fuck his fist.

Still mindful of their situation, Jack spilled a little more lubrication onto his fingers. Touching Ianto's hole with his middle digit, he held it there as a hint of where he'd like to go next. A nod told him it was okay to carry on.

"Say no anytime you want me to stop." Very gently he pushed the tip inside. The responding moan of pleasure reassured him that the intrusion had been appreciated. He pushed his way deeper, began to explore a little - it was much tighter than he remembered. After a few seconds he felt safe in adding another finger. "Jesus, Yan, you look so fuckin' hot doin' that." Fucking his fingers into his boyfriend, faster and harder than initially intended, he ignored his own aching groin to watch Ianto pump his fist up and down. "Oh yeah …. make that baby come for me." Dry lips were licked in anticipation. "Oh my god ... would ya look at all that juice runnin' down ..."

Ianto's head fell to one side, mouth emitting the usual flow of garbled aroused nonsense, it was clear he was getting there much, much quicker than usual.

The fact hadn't passed Jack by, he'd already guessed his favourite Welshman hadn't come in a while, so it was with a sense of perverse anticipation, that he added an extra twist on the way back in.

Gaining speed, Ianto began to stab his hips downward; he was trying to keep time with Jack, but his own hand movements were now a helpful stutter at best. With a hard-on like never before, Jack was watching on intently.

The gasps grew louder. The trademark chanting began. "Jack? Oh fuck."

Ianto's mouth hinged open and stayed that way for a moment. The hand whipped faster, the slippery noises grew louder. "Jack? J ... oh yeah, don't ... Shit! Jack? Jack. Oh god don't ... don't stop I'm gonna ..."

That was when Jack hooked both digits upward.

"Fuck fuck fuck ... "

Ianto seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. Jack smiled as the telling tremble continued to spread across his whole body; having found the right spot he was teasing with a deftly placed, considerately light, wiggle. He hadn't been at all surprised to see the first few lines of many, fly out. Sadly, he hadn't been granted the scream he'd been hoping for, but the show of uncontrolled yelling and grunting on offer had proven almost as satisfying.

Lips parted, his breathing shallow, the voyeur in him had sat there and ached his way through every single moment of throbbing release. Still caught up in the moment, absently listening to Ianto's breathing evening out, he became aware of a finger tapping on his right knee.

Through a haze of blown pupils, he took note of the look being sent his way.

"No."

Deliberately eliminating their slippery handiness from the equation, he began to wipe his fingers back and forth across one thigh. "'No, Yan, c'mon man just don't ask me, okay? You know I won't be able to say no, an'... an' I don't think we should ... not yet, anyways."

Raising his head, Ianto lifted the whole way and propped himself up on one elbow. He was looking downward, checking out the current state of play. "Jack, you're ready to go, that thing's poker fucking stiff. Come on, just jump on board and fuck me ... you know you want it as much as I do."

Jack looked away, it was the only way to avoid seeing that resolve-weakening Welsh gaze. "No. Just, no, okay? We agreed we wouldn't for a reason ... you distinctly said ….."

"Yes, Jack, I know what I said ... it was me that made the rules, remember? But it's been so fucking long, and we're here now and ...come on ... I need to feel you inside me."

Lips pursed to form a hard line, a heavy breath was evacuated via both nostrils. "I'm scared, Yan ... I don't wanna ruin things. An' anyway, it's not just that that I'm worried ab ..."

"Look, whatever your objections, I overrule them forthwith, understand? I absolve you of all liability, this is my call; I'm the one that's been pussyfooting around, and I'm the one allowed to change my mind ... so stop worrying."

Jack's knee was nudged again. A cheeky Celtic smile appeared. "I promise I won't hate you in the morning."

Proving just how badly he really was in need of this moment too, despite his tone of conversation, Jack's aroused state hadn't diminished any. He still wasn't looking very happy, though. He gave a loud sigh. "Look, there's another reason, okay? I remember how painful it was for you the first time we eventually did get around to ... you know. So what I'm kinda askin' here, is ... how long is it since you …" Cheeks colouring, a pained expression appeared. "Look, all I'm sayin is ... how much is this gonna hurt you if we do ... you know ..."

"How long since I was last fucked, you mean?"

Chastised and smiling child-like at the amused grin being sent his way, Jack nudged sideways into his earthy better half. "Trust you. But, yeah, I mean ... just now, when I was ..." Two fingers were wiggled. "...you didn't exactly feel very stretched to me."

The amused grin disappeared in a flash. "That's because there's been no one up there since we broke up."

A shocked Jack found himself obeying a sudden need to get up close and personal.

As they lay out lengthwise together, finding himself face to face with the man he thought he couldn't possibly love anymore, it was Ianto who helped himself to an open mouthed kiss. "No one." he repeated, as if making sure that the dope by his side had definitely got the message.

At this point, a wide, toothy smile should've slipped into place. It failed to materialise. "Okay, so I'm not gonna deny I'm over the moon 'bout that part ...,"

"So what part is it, exactly, that you have a problem with?"

His sigh long, loud and deep, an evasive Jack looked down at nothing in particular. "Ah, take no notice a me, it don't matter ... really, I'm just bein' stupid."

What he failed to realise, was that the actor in him had decided to let him down big time; those true feelings of hurt and jealousy, remained far from disguised.

"Jack ... Jack, please, c'mon, look at me ..." A crooked forefinger found a chin, applied enough pressure to bring the sad features back into sight. "If we really want things to work out between us, we've got no choice, we're going to have to talk about shit like this ... at least until everything's out in the open."

Again, Jack's sigh was deep. "I knowwwww ... I'm just not sure I wanna hear all the answers."

"Come on ... ask away. Tell me what's on your mind ... believe me, I've got a shit load of questions I want to ask you too, and I'm expecting to hear answers to all of them; trust me on this Jack, you're really gonna thank me later, for letting you get in first like this."

As a small, adorable smile appeared before him, Jack's resolve finally crumbled. "Okaay, okaay, but like I said, you're gonna think I'm stupid."

"Try me." A quick kiss was administered to seal the deal.

Jack came away from it still frowning. "It's been three months, Yan ... It's been a long three months an', well, I guess what I'm wondrin', is ..."

"What?" Ianto seemed to be relishing the show of hesitation, his not so secretly pleased smile had found a reason to return.

"Have you been on any dates with anyone, at all ... met anyone, um ... special?"

The chestnut topped noggin fell backward in despair. "See! I told you I was bein' stupid!"

Angling himself over further, Ianto was in the process of propping his head up on one palm. "Why?" he wondered with a gentle pursing of lips, quickly bringing their mouths together to claim a peck in a rather deflective manner, "Have you?" Something begin to trickle over his skin, he took a look down at himself - several gravity-governed trails of spunk had decided to make good their escape. Fighting its way through a dense patch of chest hair, the main culprit was currently heading for his left nipple, the rest seemed to be coursing a path across his rib cage, and were duvet bound.

He chuckled as the trickle began to tickle.

Heroically doing his duty, stemming the tide by coating most of it, Jack licked and sucked his forefinger clean. "Okaaaaay ..."

He paused to lick between his fingers. "... over the months, I've gotten to know you more than just a little, Ianto Jones."

"Can't argue with that."

"Yeah, right ... anyway ..."

The show of flippancy had been unexpected. Jack sat there frowning at Ianto, before thinking to continue "... and when Ianto Jones answers a question with a question ... which you just did by the way - don't think I didn't notice ... it means he's avoiding tellin' you somethin' he thinks you're not gonna like."

Eyes narrowing for effect, Jack decided to pass the time by helping himself to another line of cum. "Sorry if I'm bein' a little direct here ..." was observed between slurps, " ... but I can't help it if I'm a naturally curious person; I just had to ask ... I mean ... aren't you genuinely just a little bit curious 'bout what I've been gettin' up to, too?"

As the same finger was utilised then licked clean, Ianto had a different kind of smile forming. A genuinely amused smirk was going on. "You enjoying that?" he asked, wiping some cum onto one of his own fingers and holding it over for Jack to have some fun with. He found himself grinning into a spunky kiss.

Jack used the back of one hand to wipe his mouth dry. "So ... anyway ... back to my question ... as you're most definitely tryin' to avoid it, shall just assume the answer's gonna be a yes, that you've been foolin' around with other guys?"

The Jones gaze fixed itself firmly on the duvet cover. The deep sigh that followed, could only ever have been an admission of guilt.

Pain of varying degrees began to etch a jagged path across Jack's face. "Right, okay, no ... of course ... that's fine - I've no right to expect anythin' else ... you've been a free agent since we, y'know ... an' I shouldn't ..."

"Okay, Jack, just stop it. Of course you want to know ... and you have a right to know, I haven't got a problem with that."

In the time it took Jack to shrug and nod his understanding, Ianto had commenced with, had a good old gnaw at, then finished chewing his bottom lip. "This ... this was always going to be an awkward moment for both of us,." he admitted with a sigh. "Digging up dirt, or whatever you want to call it, isn't pleasant. But it's important we get all shit like this, out the way as soon as possible. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"Okay, good. So let's cut a deal. We'll tell each other everything ... we promise we won't get out of our prams about any of it, and we'll just carry on like nothing's been said, I mean, we both had the right to do whatever we wanted over the last three months, right?"

"You're not exactly filling me with confidence, here."

Ianto took the show of uncertainty on board and tried a smile. "We'll be fine. I'll tell you everything little thing about what I've been up to over here, and then you can tell me what you've been up to over in the States."

"Not a lot to tell really ..." Tears in his eyes before the dishing had even begun, Jack looked down, then away. "Been too busy with Bobs, 'n' work 'n' stuff." A distracting crease in the duvet was played with..

A guilt ridden Ianto wasn't having any of it, "Oh, come on, Jack ... good looking bloke like yourself? Flirty, charming - not to mention highly impressive in the weaponry department ... are you seriously telling me you haven't gained at least few more notches on that bedpost of yours?"

As hoped, the show of false bravado sailed right over Jack's head. More concerned with being wrongly accused, the hurt in his voice was painful to hear. "Yan I swear I've not done a thing - there's been no one, no one at all, since you."

"Yeah, right." Someone was choosing, quite deliberately, to take a lot of convincing. "It's okay, you can tell me the truth you know, I don't bite.. Come ohhhn, you must've had guys throwing themselves at you left right and centre."

"Throwin' themselves at me? Well, yeah, 'course ... all the time, I'm not denyin' that." With a gentle, absentminded, touch, a more concerned Jack had begun to smooth Ianto's fringe back from his forehead, "But when I say there's not been one single guy since you, I mean it ... there hasn't"

Ianto stared briefly into the baby blues. As much as Jack claimed to know 'him' inside out, he knew Jack equally as well, and Jack wasn't lying about this.

A nod heralded his belief in the claim. "It shouldn't, because the fact alone makes me out to be a right selfish bastard, but knowing that makes me feel so much better."

"It's the truth, Yan. I've been doin' nuthin' but drive myself crazy thinkin' 'bout you day and night."

"Please don't say that." That particular knife had already plunged deep enough. It was now twisting harder by the second.

Jack studied the guilt-etched features. "Yan, just tell me. I'll deal with it ... and then we move on."

"I'm so sorry." Finally, the guilt turned to grief.

Jack kissed the furrowed forehead and thumbed away a tear. "I promise I'm not gonna feel any differently 'bout you, just cause you been havin' a little fun."

A shaky breath was inhaled. "For the record Jack ... it really wasn't any fun at all, and what you have to remember, is that I thought I was never going to see you again; I'd convinced myself you'd gone for good. I was struggling to deal with what that really meant, I'd never felt pain like it and ... well, after a while I got ... desperate."

"Sure, it's okay, I understand. You needed some physical contact and ..."

"No! I wasn't desperate for sex ... I was desperate to sort my head out; was hoping that if I could get myself back on the clubbing scene, it might help me forget about …..."

"About ... me?" The idea of that was worse than hearing about some casual fuck.

"Yeah."

"Okay ..." Same as earlier, before his show of emotion could be seen, Jack's face disappeared from view. "I guess I can understand why you were feelin' that way 'bout me."

"Jack, listen, this is important, I need you to believe me. Before that night, I hadn't wanted to go with anyone else, I hadn't even imagined myself doing anything with anyone other than you."

The confession brought a smile to Jack's face ... albeit a temporary one.

"But a while back, I caved. I went way across town to a club where I knew no one would remember me ..."

"And?"

"I psyched myself up, and after a while I followed this guy into a cubicle."

"Can we just stop the story here, please?"

"No ... we said we'd tell everything, and I really need to tell you this."

The sigh was so familiar. "I had a feelin' you were gonna say that."

"Yeah, anyway, we kissed for a bit. Then thinking it'd push me on ... you know, make me want to take things to the next level with him ... I let him go down on me."

"Did it work? Do I really wanna know what happened next?"

"He ... well ... let's just say it wasn't pleasant. And I don't really like thinking about much after that if I'm honest, so ..."

Jack was there, ready with the offer of a hug. His look of concern look was undeniably genuine. "Are you tellin' me he forced you? Tell me the truth,Yan, then just tell me where I can catch up with this bastard an' I'll ..."

"What?!" Ianto hadn't seen that coming. "Jesus, Jack ... no! It was nothing like that. He didn't touch me! It was me ... I'm the guilty party, not him! I was the one giving out quick fuck signals. ... it was me encouraging him to step it up a level ….."

"Oh, okay, that's good, but ..."

"But the whole time we were there, I knew I didn't really want to do anything with him."

"But that's a good thing, yeah?"

"Jack ... the whole time I was with him, all I could think about was ..."

"Was ...?" Jack's head has this sort of piqued pivot thing going on.

"Was you, you bloody fool. I kept seeing your face."

"You did?" Jack was so taken aback, he forgot how to smile.

"Your face can be very distracting." he was informed with a stoic frown.

The temptation to make a joke at this point was avoided. "Sohhhh ... you were in this club, with this other guy, but you kept on seein' my face?"

"Yep."

"Sohhhhh?"

"So ... what?"

"So, was that a good thing ... or a bad thing?!"

"Well it was a good thing, of course, I was subconsciously sending myself a reason to stop doing what I was planning on doing."

"So did it work?"

"Well, you have to bear in mind how much of a stubborn bastard, I am, Jack. You of all people know that better than most."

"True. So where are you takin' me with this piece of information?"

"I'd gone there for a reason. And regardless of how I was really feeling, I still had a point to prove to myself with that other guy."

"So after everythin', in the end my dashing features failed to do the job. Damn." Lips pursed, brows met in the middle. "I hope he was a shit lay."

"Oh, I might've tried to block out your face, Jack, but, don't worry, you were right there with me all the way. You weren't about to give up on me that easily; I volunteered to search my pockets for supplies and …"

"And?"

"Well let's just say it wasn't a piece of shiny foil I found hiding away."

"You found my face?" Brows arched accordingly.

"No, you clown." Ianto was forced to hold back a chuckle. "What I found, was, well ... reading matter, I guess you could call it."

"Readin' matter?" Jack took a moment to digest the clue. "Ah, hold on, what jacket were you wearin' ... you wouldn't be talkin' 'bout findin' a tiny little note by any chance?"

The nod was short, solemn, and very much a confirmation.

"Ah heck. I remember wonderin' at the time, how long it'd take for you to find that particular message." One guilty face was screwed up in an apology. "Sorry if I threw a spanner in the works, but back then I had no idea we were gonna go ….. you know …."

"Our separate ways?" The shrug was nothing if not matter of fact. "Anyway, yep, it was the message you managed to squeeze onto the back of that tiny receipt, and let's just say it did the trick." Locating Jack's hand, Ianto gripped it tightly. "Jack, I know it's all sounding a bit comical right now, but I should actually be sitting here thanking you ... it was your message that finally brought me to my senses."

"Always happy to help." The grin was unbearably smug.

The eyes performed their usual. "You can't hep yourself, can you."

"Nope."

Ianto's new smile was full of affection. "You know, doing something with that other guy ... deep down I already knew I couldn't go through with it - but finding myself staring at your handwriting, recalling how much we'd enjoyed ourselves that day, just being a normal couple of guys eating a burger at McDonald's, it reminded me how much I still ... "

The silence didn't find time to become awkward.

"... how deeply I still cared about you. Like I said, I never really wanted to do anything with him from the word go; I'd gone there for all the wrong reasons. And because of you and your little note, you daft romantic fool, I had a lucky escape."

Watching the signals, Ianto knew it was time to stop talking. He could tell by Jack's face that he was becoming emotional again. Before the relieved, sensitive soul could break down completely he dipped forward to kiss away any remaining doubts regarding fidelity. "I've not gone the whole way with another living soul, I promise. In fact, in the end all that guy got, was me crying my heart out on his shoulder. I even explained why I was so upset. He was really understanding, considering I'd just wasted his entire evening."

Foreheads resting together, relief palpable, both men began to laugh. Staring into Jack's eyes, Ianto once more bore witness to the telling shine. "Please don't start crying, you'll set me off." Blinking in defiance himself, he could feel the long lashes opposite, tipping his own.

"Hey, so much for us sneakin' inside to relieve a little of the pressure." Offering a sad laugh, Jack pouted, hoping for a kiss.

Ianto obliged with a quick peck. "Why don't we just carry on where we left off? Let's try this again."

"What, go all the way, you mean? You sure you still want to?"

As Jack pulled back a little, Ianto pulled him back into hold. "Let's put it this way, Harkness, I'm not letting you leave this room 'til you've fucked me senseless."

There was only one answer to that. "God I love it when you talk dirty!"

Before he could protest, Ianto found himself on his back with Jack straddling him. Feeling around in the drawer where he'd earlier found the lube, he was desperately trying to locate something latex based.

He came away with a vacated pack of fruit variety. "Damn, it's empty ... that's no good."

With a frown, the cardboard sleeve was inspected in more detail. "Tropical?" And then studied some more. "Hey, is this the same empty pack I launched back in here last time we ...?"

"What do you think?" As Jack's confused face appeared above his own, Ianto closed his eyes.

"But ... Yan ... this doesn't make sense; you're the tidiest guy I know. " The pack was held aloft'. "Why didn't you just throw it out with the trash?"

Ianto forced himself to meet Jack's gaze, "Well I could lie, and say that when I finally got around to tidying the place up, that drawer must have been forgotten."

"So, if that's a lie ... what's the truth?"

"The truth is ... I couldn't bring myself to go near any one of these drawers ... I found it too ... upsetting."

Studying the pack, the one right now having the life squeezed out of it by his knotting fingers, Jack was forced to concede "All this time you been hurtin' like this because of me. I'm so sorry, I wish I'd been here for you. Right from the start I shoulda had the guts to just tell you the truth. None of this would've happened."

A heavy smack landed on his left bicep "Oi, it's all in the past. We're moving on, remember? Now check one of the other drawers, we're still in need of a cover or two, there's got to be something useful in there somewhere."

"Okay, let's see what I can find." Jack made straight for the bottom drawer. "Aha!" His eyes lit up. Then a frown appeared. "You really wanna go with ribbed for your first time?"

Frowning back at him, Ianto shook his head. "No, maybe not for the first time."

Jack began to fish some more. "There's some extra lube down in this drawer too, and ... oooh …. some naughty sexual aids. " Trying to avoid another swipe from Ianto, he began to dig a little deeper. "Hold on ... what have we hiding at the back ...?"

A wrapped parcel was pulled from the drawer. Jack held it aloft for Ianto to see. "Been buyin' somethin' for someone special, have we?"

"Gimme that!" Whippet like, his right hand extending, Ianto tried to take hold of the small package.

Rather predictably, Jack pulled it out of reach. "Uh un."

The same hand stretched out again. "Jack, please, just give it here, it's nothing important, I forgot it was still in there."

"Well, obviously. So c'mon, then, why you actin' so cagey all of a sudden, huh?"

Full of accusation, in a blink Jack's whole demeanour had changed from amused to jealous. "Come on, spit it out, who ya been buyin' gifts for that you don't want me to know about?"

The guilty party's cheeks began to burn with embarrassment. The slapped-face tinge grew deeper. "Look, if you must know, it was going to be an extra little present for you, last Christmas."

"Really? Well I guess that explains the cute wrappin' paper!" Smile back on his face, Jack was clearly relieved to hear the news. "I'll just open it now, then, shall I?"

"NO!"

Forgetting Jack's weight was keeping his thighs pinned to the bed, Ianto's attempt to re-site himself failed in the most humiliating of fashions.

"Oops!" There was an ominous tearing sound as Jack ripped away the blue and white snowflake printed, wrapping. "Too late!" As the pieces of ravaged paper fell first to the bed, and then to the floor. Jack stared wide-eyed at his gift. "Ohmigod!"

"Fuck ... Fuck." Hands covering his face, Ianto began muttering blindly away. "Look, just put them back in the drawer and pretend you never saw them, okay?"

"Are you kiddin' me? Whoa, no way Jose ... no can do." The crimson pink satin panties were held aloft to be examined further. "They're …. wow! They're ... gorgeous! They were really for me?"

Beneath his hands, Ianto groaned and nodded.

"But why didn't you just give 'em to me at Christmas?"

Eyes peeping into view performed the perfect rolling motion. "Er, let me see ... d'you think it might be because I thought I might end up feeling exactly how I feel right now? That's fucking stupid, by the way, in case you hadn't already guessed."

"Stupid? But … nohhhh Yaaaaan whyyyyyy? It's not stupid at all. I've kinda had an idea for ... well, for quite a while now, that you might be into this sorta thing; y'know, what with you and that pretty-boy kink of yours."

Jack's next expression suggested the revelation might've just promoted the most horrifying of thoughts."Um, have you seen March, at all, by the way?"

He'd tried to ask as casually as possible, but Ianto could tell that Jack was wondering if his gift had really been intended for the cute young stage-hand. "March? No, I haven't seen him at all." he told him truthfully, smiling just ever so slightly at the heartwarming signs of jealousy appearing. "Though from what I can gather, Els paid him a visit a while back. Seems she asked for his help when she was trying to get hold of your home number. I'm surprised she hasn't said anything to you."

As the nagging twinges of doubt began to dissipate, so did Jack's devastated expression.

"Actually, now you mention it, she did say somethin' to me, yeah." he admitted. "Seem's she started off with Steve's secretary, then moved on to March, then finally ended up over at Tom's place. That's where she first called me from, y'see."

"Tom? She didn't tell me about that, the little ... hold on ... Tom actually helped her out? The Tom? Jerry's Tom?"

It was an opportunity not to be missed. As they cried out "TOM AND JERRY!" in unison, a sense of the juvenile briefly took control.

"Yeah I know," Jack finally managed to confirm as they calmed down, "That surprised me a bit as well. But anyway, enough of that ... shall we get back to exhibit A ...?"

He raised his right hand.

It had his gift dangling from it.

Ianto gave another groan. "I'd rather we didn't."

"Oh, I'd rather we did." Jack was sniffing his gift.

"Oi, they're brand new!"

A nose wrinkled cheekily. "Just checking."

"Remember our first date?" Ianto sidetracked, mainly to take away the notion that he might like to thump Jack really hard real soon, "When we were in the pub, going through those lists of questions you insisted we do? Well during one of your answers, you mentioned something about your best friend walking in on you. You said he caught you wearing your mam's undercrackers, and I'm sure you said they were pink."

Jack drew the panties away from his face. The look that appeared was both pleased and surprised. "Hey, that's right, they were! Wow, I can't believe you remembered!"

"Not too difficult to be honest ... all the time you were sitting there going into great detail about the damn things, I was sitting on the other side of the table with a raging hard on, and I haven't been able to get the image of you wearing them out of my head, since."

"Okaaay. So you want me to put these on now?" With a repeated twist from front to back, Jack was admiring his new gift. "You know what they say ... better late than never!"

A stiffened forefinger was aimed at a side cabinet. "No, what I want you to do, Jack, is put them back where you found them and pretend you never saw them!" Hands rising at speed, Ianto covered his face again. "Jesus, this is so embarrassing."

Jack found no problem carrying on undeterred. "Say, how would you feel 'bout me wearin' the whole get-up ... you know, with a little lipstick … blusher maybe? How 'bout a little eyeliner, too?"

"Oh, God ..." The mumble was clear enough - the hands were removed, nevertheless. "Jack! Can you please just shut up? I feel embarrassed enough as it is."

"But you already think I'm beautiful. I distinctly remember you tellin' me so on my birthday ... an' right now I'm thinkin' that maybe, deep, deep down, you'd quite like to see me dressed up in stockings, and a little basque, or somethi …"

The futile struggling began again. "Okay, that's it." Ianto had this sort of pinched look about him. "Jack? Knickers! Back in draw, now! You never saw them, okay? End of conversation."

The time for teasing was over.

"Okaaay, okaaay …. I'll drop the subject for now." Adjusting his position, Jack was slowly dipping lower. "But I'm sorry, there is no fuckin' way you are EVER gettin' these beauties back. They're gorgeous! ... I love them!" A noisy smacker of a kiss found its way onto the lips below. "Thanks, Yan."

"Well, as you like them that much, I guess you're very welcome."

Watching Ianto very nearly crack a smile, Jack grinned back in encouragement. "So what happens now?"

"Well, I, personally, am thinking of taking a very cold shower ….. see if I can't lose some of the heat out of these cheeks of mine."

Jack studied his boyfriend contemplatively. "Yeah, you're right I guess ... I mean, I don't mean 'bout losin' the cute pink cheek thing you got goin' on there - I mean, yeah, maybe we should leave takin' things a step further for another day."

Ianto's sigh was deep ... and just a little sad. "Hmmm, well, given how easily we've been distracted like this, maybe someone is trying to tell us something. Maybe it is too soon for us to be taking things to the next level." A pouting of bow-lips occurred. "We shouldn't go any further, today, should we." he decided in a quiet voice.

Jack felt obliged to nod his agreement. "Nah ... it's a damn shame but ... yeah, you're right ... we better not."

"It'll be for best won't it." A head was nodded sagely. "We shouldn't go any further today, definitely not."

"I hate to say it,Yan, but I think you're right. We shouldn't ... not really."

"Hmm."

"So, we won't?"

"No ... we won't."

-o- -o-

-o- -o-

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-o- -o-

-o- -o-

But they had.

Oh, they really, really had.

And it had been monumental.

Three times between making their 'final' decision and sun-up, they'd made their most heartfelt effort yet to reconnect. Tentative to start with, agreeing that both should take a go at top and bottom, the first time had been filled with giggles and completely unnecessary awkward apologies. The second round, by comparison, had been full-on rampant - a feast of changing positions - wake-the-neighbour groans, and filthy talk.

Quite rightly, the third and final time had been an exhausted, full body contact, hip twisting, slow grind of a fuck. Sweaty bodies pressed tightly together, the release this time around had easily been the most intense of them all ... the moment had brought not only genuine relief, but an emotional showing of tears and, afterwards, they'd fallen asleep in each other's arms.

Next day, they'd woken at noon, had made some very sweet black coffee to go with their very, very late breakfast, then they'd fed each other marmalade on toast, all giggles again, and gooey eyes, the lot. It'd turned out to be the most glorious of days, and a pact had been made ... nothing remotely negative, they'd agreed, was to be discussed until breakfast the next morning, and even then, that option would only apply if it was really really really necessary.

Then before they'd realised it, the weekend had arrived.

And, now, it was already Sunday.

-o- -o-

Pretending to watch tv, Jack was mulling miserably over the fact that they only had five whole days left to spend together. As another chuckle sounded over from the hallway, he slid his eyes to the left, stared surreptitiously as he studied the gorgeous creature sat on the floor out there.

Making a very special phone call, keeping himself upright with his back to the wall, Ianto had the widest of smiles on his face and, quite naturally, Jack was trying to listen in ... ...

-o-

"And what about you, Mair, are you okay?"

Deftly double-tasking, Ianto directed the tip of one finger in his boyfriend's direction. With a flick and a jokey scowl he suggested that the ear-wigging dope should behave himself and get back to viewing the television.

Laughing at the instruction, a defeated Jack left him to his moment of reconnecting; his last glance told him Ianto was busy adjusting his position, trying to get a little more comfy out there.

"Where's the little bugger got to ... please don't tell me he's still in bed?" Ianto wondered down the line.

As a reply came straight back at him, he was still smiling at Jack's apparent adhering to orders.

"No, he's definitely in the land of the living," he heard Mary laugh at the other end, "I know that much for definite. Hold on, I'll give him another shout. Bobby?! Bobby! There's someone on the phone wants to talk with you! Hey, Romeo! Can you come downstairs please?! Sorry, Yan, hold on a sec, I can't make out a word he's saying ... What was that, you little pain in the butt?!God, I'm really sorry 'bout this Yan, he's being really awkward right now. ... Oh, hold on a sec. What?! No! It's not her! Now can you just come downstairs please?!"

Ianto took advantage of the break in shouting. "Who does he think I am, Mair?"

"Oh, we've gone and got ourselves some new neighbours, and their six year old daughter has the biggest crush, ever, on my five year old son."

"Awww, sweet."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Sadly, Bobs doesn't see it that way. Every day after school he insists that I let him out in the garage, not out on the drive. I've tried telling him there's nothing wrong with being friends, or even just being polite to the poor kid, but, well, you know …..."

"And what does Jack say about the situation?"

"Jack? Well, from what Bobby's let on, his father's response was that he should just 'go for it'."

"Sounds about right."

"Doesn't it just. Oh, at last ... could this be his majesty on his way? Dare we hope? Yep ... there's definitely someone ... ohhh myyyyy gohhhhd ... Hold on Yan, this is just getting silly now ... Bobby, love, what's with the bag? Yan, my supposedly well-adjusted son has a paper bag pulled over his head. If you hear a thudding in the background, you'll know he's just fallen down the stairs."

Ianto took a break from chuckling, "He still hasn't cottoned that on it's me, has he?"

"No, he hasn't. Hey, Squirt ... I suggest you lose the bag and move yourself, 'cause, trust me, you really need to take this call ... and MIND your step! God help me, this boy'll be the death of me, I swear it. ... Bobs, just take the bag off, please and watch where you're going. I promise it's not her."

"How's he doing?"

"Shouldn't be too long now. Hallelujah! At last, he's here! Right, take the receiver ... come on, it won't bite you. Now be a good kid and say 'hi', nicely for me."

"Hi nicely for me."

"Hello trouble, couldn't resist could you ... just like your dad. I hope you've been behaving yourself for me."

"Yan?"

"Hi ya ..."

"Yan! Mommy? Mommy it's Yan! It's Yan, Mommy!"

Someone found himself grinning hard. "So how's my favourite five year old?"

"How am ... .. how am ...'I' ?"

Ianto waited with baited breath, he could just tell that something sarcastic was about to leave those clued-up young lips.

"Oh, I'm always okay," he was assured in a happy sing-song tone, "I think you'll find it's my dad that's the idiot."

In London, the bark of laughter was so loud, it filled the hallway and most of the living room.

In California, an amused mother was doing her best to berate her son. "Bobby Harkness! I'm gonna tell your father you said that ... if Yan doesn't tell him first, of course."

"Don't worry, Bobs, I won't say a word." Ianto whispered reassuringly.

And from that point onward, the reacquainted friends wasted no time in cracking on with some serious catching up. With less money in the bank than usual, Ianto had promised himself he'd make this particular transatlantic call a brief one - just to say hi, how are you, and a quick goodbye - that sort of thing. But of course that was doomed never to be the case; the second he started chatting with his favourite kid, already stuck in chatterbox camaraderie mode, he and Bobby were right back to normal.

.

.

With Ianto jabbering happily away to his son, resting back on the couch, Jack closed his eyes and began to think about everything that'd happened over the past month or so. Present time was passing way too quickly for his liking; here in the UK the middle Sunday had already arrived, meaning their last week together was just sitting there, chomping at the bit, raring to go.

They were, of course, trying to make the most of their time together - along with a fun trip to the London Eye for a pre-show photo shoot, and another couple of nights spent enjoying cosy dinners out on the town, some major moments of reconnecting had been taking place.

There'd also been quite a bit of denial going on - neither man was anywhere near ready to acknowledge, let alone discuss, what the end of the coming week was going to mean for them.

But at least they were genuinely happy again; despite the word still being prohibited, period, it was patently clear that the two young men holed up together at number 42a, were not only still madly in love with each other, but were now fully accepting of the idea of eventually spending the rest of their lives together. There'd been a few hiccups admittedly, but the overall mood had been joyously hopeful - there'd been so much laughter in the Jones' household of late, the place was practically unrecognisable.

For the most part, the two of them had been left alone. Of course, Els hadn't been able to resist popping downstairs when visiting her girlfriend in the apartment above, and, out of the blue, DanDan had popped by one evening - after saying a humbled 'hi' to Jack, he'd very importantly passed on some forgiving well wishes to Yan from both himself and Stef. It'd been quite a moment, and sharing a relieved three-way hug, there'd been wet cheeks all round.

Els had also passed Jack's new number onto Gaz, who'd phoned one evening to say hi, and to relay the gloomy message that, with a serious offer to finance the necessary move, Larry's firm was paying for them both to relocate further outside of the Capital. A rented Sussex accommodation was going to be fully paid for until they could find a place of their own to purchase. Understandably, this had been too good an offer for Larry to turn down.

Along with the sadness, there'd also been the good news that Jack would be getting to see both men again soon. It seemed that Larry was insisting on driving him to Heathrow the following weekend and, of course, he wouldn't take no for an answer. Sadly, nothing had been mentioned regarding whether Ianto would get to see either of the two friends before they left London for good, but as all the details had been discussed, he'd just smiled and said he fully understood why Larry, especially, was still angry with him.

Finding himself embroiled in things first hand, the ongoing spat between the friends had become a very upsetting experience for Jack, but he was promised faithfully by his boyfriend that things would be 'put to rights' before Lals and Gazebo got a chance to move anywhere.

-o- -o-

Lost in thought, his lids lifting, Jack stirred with a start. A chuckling Ianto had returned from his call, and had dropped down heavily right next to him. "Your son sends his regards. I have to say, he seems to think very highly of you."

"He still thinks I'm an idiot then?" Some facts were a given, where Jack was concerned.

"In the nicest possible way, naturally." Ianto confirmed with a consoling look.

"He's right though, isn't he …." Jack dragged himself out of his slouched position with a sigh. "I really have been behavin' like an idiot."

"You, me, both." Ianto sent him a sympathetic look. "But we can change ... can't we?"

"Yeah," Jack slipped his arm around a shoulder. "No more bein' an idiot," he confirmed, touching foreheads as he hugged Ianto tightly. "And I, for one, am not takin' any more chances where you're concerned, Mr Jones."

"Everything on the line from now on?"

Jack nodded. With a child-like smile, he began to mash their eyebrows together . "Yep, there's gonna be no more secrets ... no more lyin' ... just me 'n' you, livin' happily ever after. I'm never gonna lose you again, Yan, I mean it."

Pulling out of hold, Ianto left the couch.

Crossing the divide, he halted the tv's progress.

Jack eyed his actions suspiciously, waited for him to sit down again before edging back alongside. "Okaaay ... I been thinkin' all along this is too good to be true. C'mon ….. what's botherin' you?"

"We've only got five full days left to spend together …."

It was a serious Jack that sat back, arms folding. "Yeah, the fact hadn't passed me by either. So,come on, out with it, what's on your mind?"

"Couple of things, really …" A pensive look had appeared, and it didn't appear to have plans on going anywhere else right now. "Aside from the fact that I don't want you to go home, well, ... you still have the contents of your letter to disclose. Now, before you say anything, yes, I know this is my fault, for not opening it in the first place, and I'm one hundred per cent sorry for that. But you did say, didn't you, that ..."

Jack's attempt at a smile was halfhearted at best. "Ah." He was sitting there nodding, as if trying to convince himself that everything was going to be okay. "Yes ... yes I did. And if this is what you really want ... then let's do it ... right now."

"Yes ... it is what I want ... howwwwever ..." Stalling things further, Ianto's right index finger popped into view. "First, I'd like to discuss a different issue. It's one that means just as much to me."

"Why do I have this sudden urge to run from the room?"

"Sorry, Jack, you're right ... you're not going to like this, but this has been playing on my mind non-stop for months now, and I really need to set things straight in my head before you disappear again."

Jack closed his eyes. "Great … " he sighed. "An' I was havin' such a lovely day, too. If I break down in floods of tears, you have my permission to completely ignore me."

Ianto found himself laughing in spite of himself. "It's nice that we can joke around like this again," he admitted, already looking sorry for what he knew was about to come, "But I'm afraid this is where the joking around comes to an end."

"Do I really wanna know why?" seemed the obvious question.

"Probably not, no." he was told, all solemn and foreboding. "Because before we discuss anything else, I want to talk about you and Joe."

The colour drained from Jack's face.

"Oh crap."

And that just about said it all, really.

-o- -o-

-o- -o-

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-o- -o-

-o- -o-

tbc.