XIII
The night didn't go as planned. It went… different than expected, way different.
Axel remembered that he said he loved movies, and together they changed into some comfortable pajamas and watched whatever was on Netflix. He enjoyed cuddling against Axel's warm body while wrapped up in the plush blanket he'd been offered.
For a couple of brief moments, he wondered if he was supposed to be super warm all the time too. Most guys he knew were always warm, including his brother, but he was usually pretty chilly. Some days it wasn't so bad, but ever since he met Axel, it seems as if all of his warmth had faded away and he needed him to keep warm.
When it was around eleven he felt his eyes getting droopy. He was getting tired, but he wanted to spend as many waking hours as he could with Axel. He'd only be able to be with him like this on the weekends, if Axel was even available. He still didn't even know what his gang was about and if they went to faraway places or not.
He shivered at the thought of Axel being taken away from him for long periods of time. At least he could see him after school, probably, or maybe he was getting ahead of himself. He wondered if it would be too much, or too selfish, to ask him to pick him up every now and then.
Earlier Roxas had decided that he liked the motorcycle. He was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to drive one himself, but he had fun riding one. Maybe they could go on rides sometimes. Just rides, he felt himself smile at the thought.
At the moment, he would settle for his current spot. He felt so happy, he felt so loved. His family had always loved him, this he knew, but there was something about Axel that just… he didn't know. Axel seemed to exude some kind of happiness that leaked into him and wriggled down into his core.
When the second movie was over Axel yawned, "When do you want to go to bed?"
Roxas turned to bury his head in his chest, "Never!" he squealed childishly.
Axel kissed his head, "You're too cute. What would you like to do then?"
He was half tempted to say "you" but that was such an Axel thing to say. He giggled mentally, realizing he was already picking up on the older man's quirks and habits. He shrugged and instead asked, "Want to play something?"
"I'm down for strip poker," Axel smiled wolfishly and Roxas hit him playfully. See? There was that kind of response again.
"No not that," Roxas stood and turned off the TV. He started pacing, not sure what they should do. He grabbed his phone off the table to look at the time and wonder if he should look up something to play or not. He then started to wonder if there was even any cards in this lonely apartment.
Maybe he had a hidden deck somewhere, or a dusty board game under the mat. Nah that was probably just wishful thinking.
He looked over to see Axel smiling and lounging against the couch. Roxas thought he looked handsome like that, sprawled across the couch with a silly grin on his face without a single care in the world. Axel caught him smiling and he turned away.
"How about—" Axel started, but he was cut off when someone knocked sharply on the door. He started at the sound, but was even more scared when Axel bolted to his feet. The red head bit his lip and put a hand on Roxas's shoulder, "Stay here." His tone was hushed.
Roxas reached for him but stayed put as he was told, "What's wrong?"
He shuffled behind him as Axel looked through the peep hole in the door. He turned away and he suddenly looked very worried, "What the hell are they doing here? Shit… uh Roxas babe, we have to go."
"What? Where, what's going on?" Roxas was now very worried. He didn't know who was on the other side of that door, but somehow he got the feeling that it had something to do with his gang.
"I'll explain in a minut—"
"Open up X trash! We know you're in there. Saw your bike out front!"
Roxas panicked. Axel took them to the bedroom and shut the door. He opened up the closet and started throwing clothes around. Suddenly he opened up a panel in the back to reveal a small, dusty hallway between the walls. He pushed him through first, and then started after. He stopped just long enough to block the entryways behind them.
"Axel?" As they crawled along the walls, he paused briefly to give him a small, reassuring kiss on the forehead but did not answer.
"This wasn't supposed to happen… I'm so sorry…" he whispered.
That seemed to be the end of their conversation as they shimmed down a rusted ladder and across a wide platform with nothing but darkness surrounding them. There was another door and Roxas was surprised to see that it led out into another room.
He followed behind closely and watched as Axel opened the door to the main hallway and peak outside. He looked back and forth about a dozen times before reaching for his hand behind him. Roxas wasted no time in taking it.
They crept down the silent halls, not a soul in sight. There was a back door that they were able to freely exit, and when they reached the cool night air he tightened his grip and started running.
He made a beeline for his bike and Roxas jumped to see that the tires were slashed, "Shit!" he whisper screamed, "Uh… oh fuck, I'll come back for you later baby number two."
He sent his bike an air kiss and then took his hand and they were running again. He was still very confused as to what was happening, but if this was do or die, then he was going to do.
As they ran, Axel started talking. He sounded slightly panicked and out of breath, "I hate to ask, but do you have your phone on you by chance?"
Roxas reached into his back pocket. Sure enough his phone was there, he was so glad he had grabbed it when he did. He didn't remember putting it there, but right at that moment he didn't really care. They slowed down to a quick walk and he handed Axel his phone. He punched in a few numbers and then pulled them into a very dark alleyway.
"Zex? Yo sorry for waking you but I've got some bigger problems," there was a pause, "I was in Twilight Town I— it doesn't matter doing what! Listen, I was spending the night here and the Blades showed up. Those stupid… they knew. Anyway can you, like, come and save my ass or something? That'd be real helpful. I'm at the emergency pickup down the road from the safe house."
Roxas heard someone yelling on the other line. He didn't sound mad, just very, very concerned, and maybe a little tired. The dial tone sounded and Axel pulled him further into the alleyway.
They hid behind a couple of trash cans. Roxas found it somewhat odd that there was no trash in sight. All the cans were empty and even the big dumpster didn't smell as it should have. Was this all… planned?
Axel held Roxas tight and didn't say a word. They stayed like that until he guessed that five minutes had passed, and then a car drove by the open alleyway very slowly. A light shined down it, and Axel put his hand over their mouths and pushed them even further into the wall.
At the sudden brightness Roxas felt himself start to shake profusely. He was on the verge of whimpering and was grateful for Axel's large hand covering his mouth. After a solid minute, the light and the car disappeared.
He breathed out a long sigh of relief, but remained silent.
Roxas's phone buzzed and it startled him. He jumped but Axel's arm kept him still. He looked at the unfamiliar number, and then showed it to Axel.
He answered, "Yo."
There were muffled words on the end. Axel paused for a second, "No. He's here too… no you know who. Also, is big boss man back? Oh thank god. Okay… Thanks. I owe you one."
He hung up and returned his phone. It felt like an eternity had passed as they waited. Roxas dared for just a second to turn on his phone to look at the time. He turned down the brightness all the way and looked to see that he had been metaphorically holding his breath for over twenty minutes.
He was scared when another car pulled up and there was the sound of windows rolling down, but then an unfamiliar voice whisper shouted at them, "Get in the fucking car right now before I shoot your skull in."
That was their cue he guessed. Axel grabbed Roxas and they hauled ass to a grey van parked in the entrance to the ally. They shut the door and the driver peeled out like a madman. Roxas lost his footing and tumbled into Axel's arm.
Everything calmed for a moment, and he looked up towards his saviors. He recognized the driver as the guy who he had first run into back in skyscraper. There was another boy in the passenger seat, but he was sleeping and curled up to one side so he couldn't quite tell.
"You brought Demyx?" Axel said distastefully.
He heard the driver growl, "Yeah. If we get caught we'll have an extra fist that can punch. Why are you two together?"
Roxas flinched at his tone. He felt his shoulders hunch and he tried to melt away awkwardly. He was reassured when Axel put his arms around him, "Dude we're dating now. Do you have a problem with that?"
There was silence. Then, "Not really. I guess you should know about me and Dem then."
"What? Oh shit, finally."
The driver let out an exasperated sigh, "That's what everyone else said too."
Axel laughed, "Yeah we were hedging bets on it. As you can imagine. Oh my god, Luxord and Mar owe me like, a hundred dollars and chores for a week. Sweet."
There was an airy laugh, "Well I'm glad our newfound relationship benefits you as well."
Now that he felt somewhat safe, he decided to speak up. He took Axel's hand in his and sighed, "Axel?"
The red head turned towards him, "Roxas… good fucking Jesus. I'm so sorry about this. This is the shittiest of nights. You of all people don't deserve to be caught up in all this."
"What's going on? Axel, who were those people? Why were they chasing you? Who are the Blades?" with each question his voice rose an octave higher. The worry was beginning to set in again. He realized that moments ago, he had been running for his life.
When Axel didn't answer right away he wasn't sure if he was even more scared, or if he was going to ask even more questions. Luckily before either of those things happened, he answered.
"Those were members of our rival group. We call them the Blades for short, but they refer to themselves as "The Keyblades." They… well they don't exactly like what we do and let's just say that a lot of fighting ensues."
Roxas was still so shaken that he needed simpler words to describe his situation, "So… they're the bad guys?"
Axel shook his head, "Well… they're bad guys to us. I'm sorry Roxas," Axel paused and he didn't like it.
"What?" he demanded slash whispered in a shaky voice.
He was even more scared, if that was possible, when Axel looked away from him. This was a new gesture, and he didn't like it. He saw him gulp, "In reality, we're… kind of the bad guys. I'm… I shouldn't have brought you into this. I was idiot, I had completely forgotten about X and all the burdens that come with it. I was just too encapsulated with you to think of anything else. Fuck, you so don't deserve this! I—"
Without warning he hit the floor of the van with his fist. Roxas jumped, but maintained his grip on his hand. He was scared of everything that was going on around him right now, but he still trusted Axel. Right now, all he really wanted was a hug. They were definitely going to talk about all this bull later, but right now he needed comforting. It was selfish, and childish, but what would you want if you were scared shitless? Running for your life?
"It's… it'll be fine for now," he chose his words carefully, "I still like you. Maybe I'll learn more about you and your life later, and be able to understand, but right now…" he started tearing up, "Would be okay if you just hug me and tell me I'll be alright?"
Before he knew it he was crying. Never before had he been so scared for his life. For his, for Axel's, for what would happen if someone died tonight.
Roxas was only partially relieved when Axel wrapped his longs arms around him, "Oh god. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, of course you'll be alright. I promise you'll be fine. Don't cry, everything will be fine. I'll protect you…"
The van fell silent for a bit, but everything was jolted with a loud bang. There was a popping and then a hissing, and then the van started swerving. Roxas, now scared again, grabbed onto Axel for dear life.
"Those shit's!" the driver screamed, his shouting and driving effectively waking up who he assumed was Demyx in the other seat.
"No Nemo don't trust the shark! What? Zex what's going on? Oh hey Axel, oh and hey cute kid from before."
Roxas recognized him and found it hilariously out of place that he was waving at him cheerfully. The one known as Zex smacked him in the head, "We've got company. I need you out the window stat."
"I guess that's all I'm good for…" he mumbled sarcastically.
"For right now, yes."
The van jerked and since there was no technical back seat and no seat belts, Roxas went flying. He and Axel hit the side with a thud and Axel grabbed hold of him and held him tight. Demyx started rolling down the window and Roxas's eyes widened as he pulled out a pair of pistols.
"What, not even in bed? I'm not even good for that?"
Zex became flustered, "I – you – shut it! Just focus!"
Roxas felt his eyes water as Demyx moved to sit outside the car and take aim. He couldn't move, he was terrified. He was utterly relieved when Axel put his hands over his ears and tilted his head down to block his sight. Despite the barrier, it still wasn't enough.
He could hear every shot ringing in his ears like fine crystal. He could hear shots being returned, and banging off the side of the van. He looked up by accident and saw that there were now a couple of holes near the top of the car. He looked back down, and then there was an uncomfortably close sounding burnout and then a massive crash.
"Got 'em!" he heard Demyx yell, "Ooh damn. They'll have to walk off that one for a while," the blond came back into the car and Axel let go of him. He tried his best not to cry, but it still happened. At least it wasn't the childish, hiccupping kind. Steady streams rolled down his face as the car bounced down the road.
They drove along for a little while longer before Roxas was able to work up the nerve to talk, "Are they…"
"Probably not," Axel answered hastily. He already knew what he had to ask, so that saved him the trouble of having to voice some of his fears.
From the front seat Demyx spoke, "No definitely not kid. I saw the car roll off the road, but it didn't turn over or explode or anything. They'll live to see another day."
Those words neither comforted him nor scared him. They just made him feel a little awkward and he wished even more that none of this was happening. Maybe it wasn't! Maybe he was back in the apartment curled up against Axel and he had just fallen asleep.
But even as he thought that, he knew it wasn't true.
At least things were calm again. The van lurched every now again from the flat tire, but everything else was otherwise intact. Roxas had been sitting with his back against Axel's chest and the red head wrapped his arms around him tightly.
They finally arrived at their destination, and when they got out it was back at the skyscraper. Somehow, Roxas felt extremely safe despite going into the lion's den so to speak. At least he knew these guys would protect him, or at the very least, Axel would.
On the way up he held Axel's hand in a vice-like grip. His body was trembling all over and when they entered the apartment he all but fell onto the couch. He finally let go of Axel and curled up in a corner, trying to make himself as small as possible. From behind, he felt the red heads hands on his shoulders and he started rubbing them gently.
Someone from deeper inside the apartment entered the room, "Ah Axel. You've finally returned. I see you've been avoiding me."
They turned towards the voice, "What? Zex, I thought you said he was still gone," he sounded slightly panicked, but at the same time his tone made him sound confident enough that he'd be fine.
"Well… he was kind of right there. So I just sort'a lied. You're used to it. Anyway, you'd be fucked deep in the ass if we didn't come to get you two."
"Dude why do you have to put it like that?" Axel complained.
"Enough," the new voice said. It was deep and rumbling, and in the darkness Roxas couldn't quite see his face. He was also crying a lot so that didn't help his vision either. The voice sounded like it belonged to a movie announcer.
"Look, Xemnas buddy, yeah okay it was my fault. Seriously though, please don't hurt Roxas. Like, I'm actually kind of begging here."
Xemnas chuckled, "I had never planned on hurting him," he heard Axel sigh in relief, "you on the other hand are a different story."
The last sentence sounded sarcastic, but when no one laughed or made a comment Roxas felt himself tense again.
"Xemnas," someone started.
"Maybe if you hadn't brought him here a second time."
The room went silent. Then Axel spoke in a scared tone, "W…what?"
"You've already broken the rules twice now, Axel. You of all people should know that I don't tolerate these kinds of things. I was willing to let you off with a warning, but now here he is again, isn't he?"
Roxas turned around all the way to see Axel bite his lip. Everything was still a little blurry and out of fear he reached for his hand. Axel scratched the back of his head, "I wha- that wasn't… that's not entirely my fault. The Keyblades were on the hunt. I couldn't leave him there…"
The mystery man stepped out from the shadows. In the dim lighting from the moon Roxas could make out a pair of haunting orange eyes. He had long silver hair that was partially pinned up behind his head while the rest of the long locks cascaded down his shoulders like a shining waterfall.
He looked directly at him, "This is Roxas?"
Axel moved so that he was now standing in between them, "No... If you're going to do what I think you will, then you'll have to kill me before…"
There was the sound of a gun being cocked.
Roxas's eyes widened, "Step aside Axel. I'm just here to ask the boy a question."
"X-Xemnas?" someone from across the room asked, "Is something up? You've never held another member at… gunpoint before."
Xemnas didn't flinch, "This is none of your concern Zexion. In fact, you two should just go back to bed. You have an assignment tomorrow, wouldn't want to be tired for it, would you?"
The other voice didn't argue. He heard some shuffling and then a door clicking closed. He felt Axel's hands reaching for him.
"What do you want with Roxas?"
The man chuckled and he was relieved when he lowered the gun. Perhaps it had just been for show, "This boy seems to have caught your attention. So it would seem. I'm here to propose an offer, why not let the boy join us? He's already seen quite a bit as it is."
"No! Absolutely not. I… threw my life away, but in the short time I've come to know him I won't let him toss his."
"I wasn't asking you. I was asking him. Roxas, listen to me, I'm going to give you two options right now. If you like Axel, and care about him, then join X. You can be with him all you want, doesn't that sound nice? Otherwise, you must leave. I can't allow a relationship outside of the members to occur. I'm being considerate, after all it puts you at risk as well. If you don't join us that is. What do you say?"
He felt his head spinning. Join X? Join a biker gang? Somehow, he was pretty sure that that wouldn't go over too well with his mom. What about… school? Or other things? He surely couldn't trust this gang. He opened his mouth and then shut it.
"Roxas don't worry about me. Say no. Please say no. I don't want to see you getting hurt."
"How noble of you. No Roxas, do worry about him. Worry very much. Any day could be his last, wouldn't you rather stay by his side?"
"Xemnas enough! I don't want him joining! I…"
"You care. It's easy to tell. I'm thinking of your future right now Axel, both of yours."
He heard Axel snarl, "No you aren't. You only care about the group."
The two continued arguing and Roxas couldn't put his finger on an answer. There was a fleeting thought that kind of scared him. He thought, I could join. I could be with Axel. I like Axel. I like Axel a lot, but do I like him enough to kill to be with him? He found it especially disturbing that the answer to that was a solid most likely.
He tried to recall the events of the past couple of days with him. It seemed as if everything was moving so fast. Join X? He couldn't. He was scared. Mortified even of this whole idea. He opened and closed his mouth a second time.
"You can't be with him like this," Xemnas's tone had turned sharp and it pierced his ears, "I won't allow it. It will put you both at risk. You don't want that do you? I will let you leave with your life tonight if you chose to, but you will be warned to never come here again. You and Axel will never be able to see each other. I will be sure to keep you separate if that's what it takes to keep us all safe."
Safety or happiness? Roxas thought bitterly. He couldn't choose.
"Please Roxas don't listen to him. I don't want this life for you… I… can live with… out… you… because I want you to be happy. There are millions of other people that are better for you than me."
But none of them were Axel. He could probably get another boyfriend in a minute if he tried… but the problem would be that they simply weren't Axel…
What about his family, or his friends, what would happen? What would happen if he chose this gang he hardly knew anything about?
He had to say no. This time when he opened his mouth he didn't close it, "I've made up my mind." He was quiet, but he knew they had both heard him over their arguing.
"Oh?" Xemnas said in his echoing voice.
He wasn't going to join. He couldn't. Maybe… there would come a day when he and Axel could be together, but right now he knew it was just too much. He didn't know Axel like he wanted to. He knew his body pretty well, but it wasn't the same. Tears once more pricked at his eyes as he thought of never seeing Axel again.
Perhaps they'd run into each other again. Maybe he'd see him on the streets and if he was single they could share quick, fleeting nights in one of the safe houses. Was it wrong for him to think that? He didn't care. He felt his reserve breaking as he silently said good-bye forever to Axel in his head.
"So, will you join?" he looked up into Xemnas's wolfish eyes and almost pointy-toothed grin.
He took in a deep, shuddery breath. And despite his reasoning, he answered with a single word that would forever change his life, "Yes."