Hello my dears! Bet you didn't expect to hear from me so soon, eh? Because you're all so wonderful, here's an extra long chapter this time, dedicated to you lovelies. Be warned people, the rating goes up later in this chapter. Very citrusy...Yes, you know what that means (wink wink). Thank you so much for the support, I certainly don't deserve it! But it's great to know you're reading and enjoying this story, much as I have enjoyed dreaming it up and writing it down.
Onward!
Rainy Season
Sesshoumaru very much preferred the graveyard shift. It gave him time to think. He strolled out to the Hospital parking lot, ignoring the light drizzle that made all the vehicles in the place sparkle under the glare of the street lamps. He had performed a number of successful surgeries that day, and he had two more before his shift was up, but he needed some air and time to himself. Risa was inside and she was suffocating him with her constant, needy attention. She always managed to find time to irritate him, even when she had more work to do than him. Tomorrow night was their mutual time off, and he recalled that stupid promise he had made to talk with her in his apartment. She had already planned ahead and wanted to take him out for a drink first. He should have refused, but he reconsidered, certain that he could use some alcohol in him when he had to deal with Risa. Several litres of it in fact.
He reflected on their 'relationship'. He could no longer lie to himself and say that lust would keep them together. There was no lust left, not on his side anyway. Risa disgusted him and he certainly wouldn't ever touch her willingly. He had dignity. Now that the lust was gone, this sham marriage would only serve to drive him insane. He would probably feel compelled to murder Risa if he didn't control himself. The Chief of Medicine wanted this match, however, and his daughter always got what she wanted. In the beginning, Sesshoumaru had little reason to complain, with the marriage he would obtain a position he coveted, the authority he craved and a beautiful, willing woman. His future father-in-law approved of him, of his skills. He also approved of the vast wealth from which Sesshoumaru came, which would prove useful when he took to a convenient retirement. And if Sesshoumaru failed to comply, the doors of every hospital in Japan would be shut in his face and he would never practice again. Since Sesshoumaru had no other choice, he would have to go through with the plan.
With his bastard brother Inuyasha at the helm of his father's company, Sesshoumaru could not do more than what he had already done. And he had to go through with the wedding, sick as it made him now. It wasn't necessary for him to pinpoint the exact moment when all his coldly calculated plans had ceased to motivate him. He already knew.
That damned Ayase girl with her perfect, perfect breasts. They had become something of an obsession, those breasts. From the first day he laid eyes on them, touched them, he had thought of little else. Milky white and pink tipped, soft and warm...
They were the kind of breasts that fit perfectly in a man's hands, that belonged in a man's hands... in his hands.
Yet it wasn't just her perfect breasts that made his heart quicken and his loins tighten. It was...it was...
Her eyes, those large doe-brown eyes filled with warmth. It was no use lying to himself, he could become lost in her eyes and not care. They were such compelling eyes, they made him feel things he had ruthlessly tucked away in dark corners, never to be unearthed. As if he could do more with his life, redeem himself, purify himself just by staring into those dark chocolate depths. Her fragrant hair, rich and dark and silky smooth was also part of his undoing. Every time he was near her he burned to tangle his fingers in those tresses and pull her towards him. Her creamy white skin, soft and delicate, the way it lightened around her breasts and contrasted with her rosy nipples. It wasn't enough to have seen her in his office, he wanted to see the rest of her, touch her as a man and not as a doctor...He wanted to make her writhe and moan beneath his hard body, he wanted to explore her sensually with his knowing hands, he wanted these things with an urgency he found very difficult not to acknowledge.
He jerked his mind from these hot, troubling thoughts and got back to the matter at hand, wishing the drizzle would cool him down. His trousers had become tight and painfully constricting. That Ayase girl had changed him, he knew. It had been very subtle, but he recognized the changes in himself as a man who constantly analyzed everything. She was such an exquisite creature, though by no means refined, never that. Risa was refined, but her sexual appetites bordered on vulgar. Sesshoumaru had believed that he would be well matched by a person as refined as he, but he was wrong. Risa was a daddy's girl and would remain that way, shifting her perturbing needs from her father to her soon-to-be husband.
The Ayase girl was so different. She was so warm, so good, so down to earth. So naive too. There was something about her that made the world seem much more than it already was, and that he had been ignoring a lot of it. The way her soft, full lips felt against his, the way she kissed him back with such sweetness, it made time cease, allowing him to lose himself in her innocence. It was a shame really, that he could only enjoy her until his wedding day. He felt a strange squeezing sensation in his chest at the thought. He wouldn't be abandoning her, or hurting her if he ended their temporary time together, it was to be an agreement between two consenting adults. He didn't like thinking that her innocent nature would somehow be polluted by him, and he kept feeling that infuriating need to protect her, but he was Sesshoumaru Saotome...he protected no one. In his life there had been no one to protect save his mother, and even she had gone.
He lifted his face towards the heavens and closed his eyes, letting the small droplets of moisture sprinkle over his skin. He lowered his head and glanced at his watch.
"Hmph."
Time to scrub in.
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"Rin, are you paying attention?"
I jerked out of my reverie and blinked at my boss, who was looking at me strangely. I felt my face flush.
"I'm so sorry, I wasn't...could you-?" I stammered. My boss waved a hand at me, unperturbed.
"It's fine, it's fine, I was just going to congratulate you on your work. Your client has just spoken with me and mentioned your professionalism. He loves your proposals." He beamed at me.
I smiled back. It had been damned hard to stay professional with such an indecisive client but I was so relieved-I mean- glad that my proposal for the restaurant chain had finally been approved. Now it would go to another department and I would only have to check on it now and again while I worked on something new. I broke the news to Reika and Yue who squealed and forced me to accept their invitation for a night out on the town. I was so caught up in their excitement that I mindlessly accepted, but I didn't regret it, I wanted to go and do something other than think of Sesshoumaru and his kisses. Oh sweet torment.
The rest of that weekend, after the kiss, had been torture. I could hardly sleep, reliving the scene over and over, tweaking them, changing my hair style, giving myself an imaginary boob job, things like that. Going back to work was a relief because it meant that I would be forced to concentrate on more mundane things, but it hadn't exactly worked out that way. I found myself daydreaming a lot and drifting off into impossible fantasies. I should have just knocked myself out, I would have made better progress while unconscious! Still, the days passed and I was able to pick up my pace, researching another project and immersing myself in it, while good naturedly tolerating Reika and Yue's constant prodding as they asked me about 'my married man'. Those girls were going to be the death of me.
I found myself looking forward to Friday night and going out with them. I deserved a break! Poor old me, working so hard and plagued with thoughts of a gorgeous gorgeous man. It was enough to exhaust any woman! I hadn't the foggiest idea where the girls were planning on taking me, they just hinted at dressing in my 'sluttiest outfit', bursting into a fit of the giggles as they said it. I rolled my eyes and laughed with them, they knew my modest tastes well.
That Friday I arrived home from work and threw off my clothes, got in the shower and tried to relax under the hot water. Afterwards, I blow dried my hair, grabbed a bite to eat (shrimp ramen) while dressed in my fluffiest bathrobe (oh so fluffy) and passed the time adding notes here and there to my research. As the clock struck eight, I shrugged out of my bathrobe and browsed among my outfits to see which one would do for tonight. I realized then that my tastes were too modest and there wasn't a lot to choose from in terms of night wear. Meh!
I grabbed a pair of snug black jeans and slid into them, admiring my butt for a moment. I approve of the snug black jeans. I went over to the dresser for a bra and before putting it on I checked the underside of my breast, as I always did when I dressed. I lightly fingered the pale scar there. It had almost disappeared. I sort of wished it would remain, for it was to be my only physical link to Sesshoumaru. But those were silly thoughts! I pulled on a sleeveless plum-coloured top that featured a criss-cross pattern at the bodice to reveal just the teensiest bit of cleavage. I had used that blouse once before at a formal party with the company but I supposed it would suit for a night out. It would be dark anyway, right?
I picked up my black sports handbag, slipped my feet into some heels and threw on a black jacket, then I called the girls to let them know I was on my way out.
We were to meet outside of the club we had gone to last time, but we weren't going inside it. It had become a meeting point for us, or for me anyway, since it was the only club I knew how to get to. I'm utterly hopeless at finding my way through places and get horribly lost if someone doesn't draw a very detailed map complete with 'X marks the spot'.
I arrived at the club Blue and spotted Reika and Yue, both looking devious and divine. They both wore halter tops, but Yue had a short black skirt on and Reika had black leather trousers. They squealed when they saw me then formed comical expressions of disappointment as they saw how sensibly I had dressed for the night. I couldn't help myself and I laughed. I nudged myself between them, hooking my arms through theirs.
"So, my pretties, where to?" I asked.
We ended up walking for about ten minutes (in heels!) to a new club called Koi, which I can only describe as orange. So very orange! I love orange, it reminds me of...oranges. They had aquariums filled with koi fish everywhere and the cocktails had little fish-shaped ice cubes swimming around inside them. Reika and Yue certainly had good taste when it came to night life! We drank and laughed and danced and flirted (well, they did, I'm hopeless at it) and discussed subjects that steadily grew more inappropriate with every cocktail. I don't like alcohol much, but I had two cocktails that were very sweet tasting, though potent. I was feeling slightly silly but since I was with the girls, I didn't have to worry. I don't know how long we stayed there but Yue started to look very red in the face and was laughing at the craziest things, so we decided it was time to go. Holding a swaying Yue firmly between us, Reika and I made the walk to the main street so that we could hail a cab. Yue had started singing an outrageously rude song and I was feeling so giddy that I joined in. Reika too, though she decided to replace some words with names of certain body parts which made us have to stop because we were laughing so hard.
We began walking again and I sighed. It had been almost a week since I saw Sesshoumaru and I missed him. I hadn't dared to go back to the café because I was afraid of what might happen if I met him there. I yearned to be with him, at least to look upon his face, but my conscience was in turmoil. He had come to me, yes...but I didn't want to feel so open and so vulnerable, not when I knew he was still engaged. Reika's voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Oh my God, he's beautiful..."
"Hm?" I followed her gaze straight ahead and my breath caught. It was him. And Reika was completely right, he was beautiful. Divine perfection. He wore a deep blue silk shirt open at the throat and black trousers held to his lean hips with a black leather belt. His silvery hair swung at his back as he walked...towards us.
The effect of the alcohol had dimmed my senses a little, so it took me a while to notice that he was not alone. At his arm was his infuriatingly beautiful fiancé, who wore a shimmering green halter dress that accentuated her womanly curves. The colour of the dress reflected the ugly feeling that rose inside me. I could never be that beautiful.
We kept walking on and I stupidly realized that he wasn't walking towards us, he was just going to pass us by. He gave no indication that he had seen me, but my eyes remained glued to him. I mean, who wouldn't stare? Just as they were going to pass us, Sesshoumaru's penetrating gaze locked onto mine, I couldn't look away. It was a hot, dark gaze filled with secrets and knowledge, making my heart quicken and my breath leave in short spurts. We kept eye contact until we passed each other and I refused to look behind me. It all seemed like a dream. I took a few deep breaths, forcing my legs to cooperate as I walked.
"Rin, are you alright? How much did you drink?" Asked Reika with concern. Yue was singing softly to herself between us. I shook my head.
"No, it wasn't...the drink." I said, my voice breathless. Understanding dawned on Reika's expression and she whipped her head around to look behind her. She turned to look back at me and wiggled her eyebrows.
"Ah, the Greek God. Fine specimen." She grinned. I hesitated, not sure whether I should tell her.
"Actually, that's him. That's the doctor."
Reika's eyes widened. "That's your doctor?"
I nodded. Reika opened and closed her mouth.
"And...that woman was his fiancé?" She managed to say. I nodded again.
"Oh poor Rin...you don't have a chance." Yue slurred sympathetically, patting me on the arm.
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The night, so far had been a catastrophe and it was only going to get worse. Risa was picking up on his disdain, no matter how hard he tried to control himself. The few whiskies he'd drunk were not nearly enough to give him the respite he needed in order to deal with this harpy.
Sitting at the bar on a stool beside him, she had talked about her day whilst sipping a margarita, but her conversation dwindled as his silence grew more and more tangible.
"Ok Sesshoumaru I can see you're not in the mood to talk. Why don't we go to your apartment?" She asked, her sultry tone and intent not lost on him.
"That would be exceedingly foolish." He replied tonelessly, swallowing the rest of his whisky and setting the tumbler down on the bar. Risa let out a frustrated breath. She grabbed the hand that had released the empty tumbler.
"If you're not in the mood to talk, you're in the mood to fuck, no? That's how it has always been with us." She said in harsh tones, tightening her hold on him. Sesshoumaru turned his head and slowly raised his eyes to meet hers. His baritone was dangerously low when he spoke.
"No talking. No fucking."
Her faced flushed with anger and indignation. She released her hold on his hand as though burnt and her breathing grew heavy.
"So what are we going to do once we're married? Knit? Read to each other? Please, you know I have needs and if I recall correctly, so do you." She scoffed, regaining her composure and picking up her margarita for another sip. Sesshoumaru glared at the empty tumbler in front of him in a cold silence. Risa watched him. She set down her drink.
"...You're not going to go through with it, are you?" her voice was low and accusing. Sesshoumaru got to his feet and threw a wad of bills on the bar without bothering to count them. He reached out and grabbed Risa's arm in a firm grip and pulled her along despite her protests.
"What are you doing? Let go!" She hissed, trying to pry his fingers loose but it was a waste of time.
"We're going to do what you want. Talk."
He drove them to his apartment, ignoring Risa completely. She sat in a stony silence, but he knew that as soon as they got inside his place, she would let rip. And as soon as he opened the front door, he was proved right.
"What is the matter with you?" She said with barely suppressed anger, dumping her purse on his black leather sofa. She stood a few feet away from him, placing her hands on her hips in that typical female fighting stance. He didn't answer, passing her and going to his bedroom to change. Thunder rumbled in the distance.
"Do you think you can just ignore me, Sesshoumaru? I have been trying to make this work and you're making it frustratingly difficult by being an ice cold son of a bitch."
He pulled on some clothes randomly. He would need to be comfortable for this. He left his bedroom and made his way over to the black marble counter by the door where he had dropped his keys, leaning against it with a bored expression.
Risa was furious.
"I have been patient with you. I want this marriage to work, but it gets complicated when you won't even touch me!" She hissed, her face colouring in anger.
"We're not married yet." Sesshoumaru pointed out coolly.
"I know we're not, but we will be!" She exploded. Sesshoumaru glared at her in silence. She faltered.
"You agreed to this. You know I love you..." She said, voice trembling.
"I don't feel anything for you Risa, I made that clear from the start." He replied with cruel bluntness. She winced as though he had slapped her. Her arms hung limply at her sides. She lowered her head and clenched her fists.
"You're a bastard, you know that?" She whispered. She raised her head, her cheeks flushed with rage. "A cold, unfeeling bastard."
Sesshoumaru said nothing.
"You won't touch me, you won't marry me...what is it? Is there someone else?" She asked with a humourless smile. She looked at him, scrutinized him for a reaction. There was none. This made her angrier than if there had been one.
"That's it, isn't it? You're fucking someone else! What was wrong with fucking me? Am I not good enough? Not hot enough? Not tight enough?" She yelled, her voice shrill.
Sesshoumaru's mouth turned downwards in disgust. Risa barrelled onward, her hair flopping into her face due to her exertions.
"Oh no, it's never enough for you. I'm more woman than you can handle yet you still can't stop yourself from putting your dick in some slut's-"
"That's enough, Risa." His voice was cold and unforgiving but she paid no heed, too far gone in her rage. She let out a cry of frustration and whipped around, grabbing the first thing she saw and heaving it in his direction.
Smash!
Sesshoumaru didn't even blink as a heavy, crystal ashtray he had never found a use for, whizzed past him a mere inches from the side of his head, crashing against the wall behind him and splintering into pieces.
He strolled to his drinks cabinet, accompanied by the sound of Risa's heavy breathing. He calmly poured himself a Scotch and took a sip, leaning one hip against the cabinet.
"My father will hear of this." She threatened in a dark tone. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.
"I'm sure he will."
Risa gave a strangled shout and looked around for something else to throw at him, but there was nothing heavy or fragile enough. She stuck to hurling insults instead, pointing a trembling finger at him. A crack of thunder sounded ominously, accompanied by the whoosh of heavy rain.
"If you think you will find a way to get out of this engagement, you are mistaken. If my father hears what a selfish prick you are and how you have cruelly mistreated me, he will bury you, do you understand?"
Sesshoumaru took another sip of his scotch and watched her carefully.
"SAY SOMETHING DAMNIT!" She shrieked. "No wonder your mother died to get away from you, she gave birth to a fucking piece of STONE! Your father was right to drive you away you son of a bitch, he knew you had a fucking block of ice instead of a heart-"
Sesshoumaru had had enough. Gritting his teeth together he set down his glass with a bang, swiftly went to grab his jacket and keys, trying to block out Risa's high pitched shrieks that seemed to grow louder and more frantic as he reached the door.
"DON'T YOU DARE WALK OUT ON ME SESSHOUMARU, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!" She screamed. He slammed the door shut with uncharacteristic relish and started towards the elevator at a brisk pace. Risa's muffled shouts could still be heard.
"SESSHOUMARU! YOU AGREED TO THE MATCH DAMNIT! SESSHOUMARU!"
His breathing was agitated as he got into the elevator, and he fought to regain calm as it swooped downwards to the parking lot. That bitch. He had been called many things in his life, and they were mostly true, but he couldn't help feeling a spurt of white hot anger at the mention of his mother and father. She knew nothing about his past, and didn't deserve to. He knew he was making a huge mistake leaving her in his apartment where she could wreak havoc on his belongings but he didn't care. He wasn't going to go back tonight.
He got into his car, intent on going to the Hospital and calming himself with work. And there was a lot of work to do. He left the building, driving through the heavy rain and trying not to dwell on the consequences of tonight's argument. He would have to answer to Risa's father, he had no doubt about that. He knew he would be forced to stick to the original plan, but tonight had been a time to rebel, to make it clear that there were no feelings involved, that his plan was just a means to an end.
He parked at the General Hospital, but didn't leave his car. He sat back and propped his elbow against the door, placing his fingers on his lips as he thought. He was in no fit state to work. The alcohol he had drunk was still flowing through his blood, dulling his concentration slightly. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was 2AM. No, he didn't want to go to the hospital. It just reminded him of his 'duties' as a husband and son-in-law. The pitter patter of rain on the roof of his car lulled him, and he slid his hands into his jacket pockets, leaning back against the seat.
He felt a piece of paper in one of the pockets, and pulled it out. It had her name on it. He didn't need to read the address on it, he already had it memorized. He got out of his car and stood for a few minutes under the heavy rain, staring into the enveloping darkness of the night in the direction of the park. A walk would do him good.
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I couldn't sleep. I switched on my lamp and read the time on my alarm clock with a groan. It had just gone two in the morning. I thought the alcohol would knock me out along with the soothing sound of rain outside, but my brain had other ideas. I got out of bed and walked around my room, randomly touching things. I was wide awake and filled with thoughts of him.
I picked at a bit of fluff on my nightie absently. Well, it wasn't exactly a nightie, it was a large white t-shirt I had dug out to sleep in because I had forgotten to do the stupid laundry and all my clothes were dirty. I sighed. Sleep was definitely eluding me, so I went to get a soothing book. I looked over at my mess of a bed and decided I didn't want to lie in it. The sheets were all over the place and I couldn't be bothered to fix it up. I pulled off the duvet and dragged it into the living room, dropping some pillows on top and arranging it into a cosy nest on the floor. I switched on my fake fireplace and waited until it began to glow. I burrowed under the makeshift den and propped myself up on my elbows to begin reading.
Oh I tried to read, I really did. The words just blurred and transformed into beautiful silver haired gods with hard bodies and soft lips. I threw the book aside and let my head drop forward onto the pillow. What was I going to do? How was it possible to love someone so much and stay alive while not being with them? I was finding it very hard to see the bright side of this situation.
Sesshoumaru possibly felt something, otherwise he never would have kissed me. But Yue, with her drunken wisdom, was right. I didn't stand a chance. Who could compete with his fiancé? She was perfect for him. I felt like a silly little girl compared to her. I sighed and turned my head, gaining a more comfy position on the pillow. Should I confess my feelings to him? Should I ask for something more? No, I couldn't, it wouldn't feel right to ask him such a thing, not when he was going to be bonded to another woman for life. Perhaps...it was time to let him go. It was the smartest thing to do, but my heart clenched painfully at the thought of never seeing him again.
An abrupt rap at the front door startled me out of my wits. My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I shot up from my spot on the floor. I had to be imagining things. Maybe a branch was dislodged in the rain and hit my door? I stood there breathing hard. I jumped as another knock sounded, this time more insistent. I began to panic. I grabbed the first thing I could find (which happened to be a cordless phone) and softly tiptoed to the front door.
Rapists? Thieves? Murderers? I needed to invest in a peep hole! I positioned myself behind the door so that I could heave it shut as quickly as possible if need be. I gripped the cordless phone in my hand tightly and unlocked everything, turning the knob slowly.
I opened the door and stiffened with shock. Sesshoumaru was standing there, soaked to the bone and leaning forward with his hands resting on the doorframe. His intense and unwavering amber gaze locked onto mine. My heart jumped to my throat and I opened my mouth. A squeak came out.
He looked...casual. And slightly out of breath. He wore a black v-neck sweater, dark jeans and a black leather jacket sprinkled with raindrops. I had never seen him dressed like that before...he looked sexy as hell. Droplets of water rolled off his nose and chin, and the dim light of my fireplace cast a subtle glow over his features, making him look achingly handsome. He slowly raised a hand and run it through his wet hair to get it out of his face, a gesture so sensual that I almost completely forgot where I was.
"You're soaked." I blurted out. Smooth. I gulped. I gradually became aware of what I was wearing. A white, overlarge t-shirt with nothing but a pair of white cotton panties underneath. His glittering amber gaze flickered downwards for a moment and I felt my face fill with heat.
"Um, why don't you come in, you can warm yourself. I have a fireplace. It's a fake one, but it's still a fireplace, even though..." I started to trail off, but he accepted my awkward invitation, lowering his head to enter. Gosh, he was so tall. I stood aside to let him in.
He was in my apartment. He was...in my apartment. It was surreal, he looked so out of place among my things. I closed the door and gazed at his back. His shoulders looked wonderfully broad in that leather jacket, his waist lean and his legs muscled in those wet jeans. And his butt, oh Lord, it was perfect.
Now, the question of the evening. What was he doing here?
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It should have felt like a mistake, but it didn't. He should turn around and be on his way, let the girl get back to sleep and leave her alone, but he couldn't. He thought she wouldn't open the door, that she would be too afraid, but she wasn't. When she opened the door and he saw her, he stopped thinking. His blood, instead of pumping to his brain, pumped into something else, which was now causing him acute discomfort in the front of his jeans.
And with good reason. In the subtle glow of her apartment her skin took a rosy tinge. Her face was scrubbed clean of the makeup he had noticed hours ago when he passed her on the street. Her dark hair was tousled and tumbled down her back and over her shoulders, with loose tendrils curling around her breasts. He could see them through the sheer material of the nightshirt. The dark, rosy nipples had hardened and were peeking through the white fabric, making his hands twitch with the need to touch them. The shirt reached her thighs which were smooth and trim, and at the apex he noticed the shape of her panties, also white. His member pulsed painfully. She managed to form a totally seductive yet innocent image and rage havoc on his emotions. She looked natural, rumpled and earthy, her faint scent was warm and sweet, as if she had just left her bed. Which was most likely accurate.
She invited him in nervously, and he acquiesced, not wanting to be anywhere else that night. His blood pulsed hotly through his veins as he stepped inside. The place smelled like her, like lavender. He moved towards the sofa, which was facing the fireplace at the far end of the room. He noticed a pile of bedclothes on the floor between the sofa and fireplace, and a discarded book. She had not been sleeping when he had disturbed her. He heard a rustle of movement beside him as she sidled up.
"Sit down, make yourself comfortable. You can get your clothes dry here, the fireplace gets quite warm." She smiled. She was still nervous. He could see it in her large eyes. He sat down on the sofa and leaned back. She sat down on the nest of covers, a distance away, yet facing him in a way that would permit conversation. She pulled a blanket out of the tangle and wrapped it around herself, much to his chagrin, and tucked her feet under her. Small, dainty, delicate feet.
For a few minutes there was no sound except the steady beating of rain coming from outside. The only light available was the orange glow from the fireplace, making the setting more intimate and enclosed.
"I-I don't mean to pry...but, what are you doing here?" She asked, biting her lower lip as if that would stop her from saying more. He watched that lip hungrily but pulled himself together in an instant.
"My fiancé is at my apartment. There was a quarrel." Why was he telling her this?
"Oh. She's expecting you back?"
"I'm not going back." He replied bluntly. Her face flushed and she stayed silent. She looked down at her lap.
"It's convenient, this engagement." He didn't have to explain himself to her, so why was he? She looked up at him, slightly confused. His voice was low and controlled. "Her father approves the match. I have an agreement with him. It was sufficient, until..." He paused. Being alone with her was driving him insane. What was he to say, that everything in his life had followed a calculated path until he had met her? He longed to reach out and pull that damned blanket away from her body, kiss her senseless...
"I...understand. Though, I don't...I don't think you should be here. With me. Your fiancé, she's probably worried about you, you should go back to her, talk things over. People argue all the time, it's natural, you'll sort things out with her in an instant." She said, her tone sincere but her hands fidgety under the blanket. She lowered her eyes, as though frightened he would read something in them.
Sesshoumaru breathed deeply. He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees and letting his gaze settle on her small, perfect face.
"I don't want her. I want you, Rin."
It was the first time he had ever said her name and her head lifted. Sesshoumaru's heartbeat quickened. She swallowed and looked back down at her lap.
"Don't...don't say that." She whispered. "Not unless you really mean it."
"I seldom say things I don't mean."
She kept her eyes lowered. Where was the chatty, bubbly Rin? She was being uncharacteristically quiet. He stood and went to her. He held out his hand. She looked at it, biting that lush bottom lip. After a moment she slid her small, warm palm into his and he gently, but firmly pulled her to her feet. He noticed her grip tighten on the blanket.
"Are you afraid of me?" He asked her, his deep voice husky. Rin met his gaze and gave him a tentative smile.
"No. Just...it feels like I'm dreaming."
He slid a hand around the nape of her neck, tangling his fingers in her rich, dark tresses. He lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers, feeling a surge of heat in his loins with the feathery soft contact. Her sweet scent enveloped him, preventing him from thinking about anything but the lush woman in front of him. He reached out and tugged the blanket from her grasp, feeling it slide to the floor, and he ran his tongue along her lower lip, hearing a small moan as she parted her lips and allowed him access. He explored her sweet mouth and touched her tongue with his, his body vibrating with heat and urgency as she tentatively sucked his tongue in a mild imitation of a more intimate act. He fought down a groan and let his hands roam over her body, reaching beneath her night shirt and smoothly sliding upwards to caress her breasts.
He had been right. They fit in his hands perfectly. She whimpered as he softly brushed his thumbs over her nipples, feeling them harden into perfect little buds. The warm, fleshy mounds molded themselves to his hands, and Rin moaned as he squeezed them.
"I've wanted to do this since the first day I saw you." He growled against her mouth, his voice thick and sexual. He withdrew his hands from beneath her shirt and slipped them over her bottom, feeling the perfect curve of the cheeks under the material. He pulled her against him, crushing her against his aroused and rigid member, stifling her gasp with his mouth. His kiss became rougher and more urgent, bruising her lips with his need, but she responded in kind, sucking at his lower lip and meeting his tongue with hers feverishly.
He scooped her up in his arms, never breaking the ardent kiss, and lay her down in the nest she had made. He straddled her and broke away to remove his jacket, and Rin seized the opportunity to explore the planes of his chest that were covered by the soft, damp wool of his sweater. Her small, delicate hands reached under and slid beneath the sweater, travelling over the muscles of his abdomen, feeling, exploring, caressing and making his blood boil. He pulled off his sweater and let her admire his toned, muscled torso. Her beautiful face was flushed and her hands trembled as she ran them over his heated skin. He gritted his teeth together and grabbed her wrists, pinning them over her head, making her breasts strain against the fabric of her shirt. His member pulsed, he wanted to drive himself inside her, sheath his erection in her moist warmth but he had to control himself. She seemed so innocent and he refused to act like a wild, primitive beast during this first time with her.
He leaned over and lightly nipped at a rose tipped breast with his teeth, making her gasp. She arched against him as he began to suckle her through the fabric. He released her wrists and placed his hands at her thighs, slowly pulling up the night shirt and revealing her body to him like a wrapped gift. He pulled the shirt over her head and threw it aside, sitting back to drink her in. She was perfect. Her milky white breasts were just the right size, bouncing with every slight movement. Her tiny waist could be spanned with his large hands, which he did, following the curve of her hips and the smoothness of her thighs. He settled himself to the side to explore her more fully, his fingers sliding into the waistband of her delectable white panties and pulling them down despite her protests. He leaned over and captured her lips in a hot kiss, discarding the panties and guiding his hand down to the juncture of her thighs by feel. Her hands reached up to cup his face and he felt them tremble with need and anticipation.
He felt her stiffen as his fingers caressed her innermost place, circling her nub slowly. He slid one finger inside her wet heat and smothered her gasp of surprise with his mouth. He rose to watch her face which was flushed and drawn into an expression of pleasure that made his blood pump faster. With his free hand he grabbed her chin and lifted her face to bare her throat where he placed hot, trailing kisses. His mouth travelled lower, drawing her nipples in and swirling his tongue around them. Rin whimpered and tangled her fingers in his silvery hair, pressing him closer. He released her nipple and planted moist kisses along her belly. He moved lower and Rin made a sound of confusion. He lifted his head and captured her heated gaze with his to reassure her. Without breaking eye contact, he placed his hands on her legs and pushed them into a raised position, then he gently parted her thighs. He lowered his head and placed his mouth on her most intimate part, flicking out his tongue and circling the hardened pink nub, making her cry out and arch her body. He plunged inside her, tasting her hot sweet flesh and penetrating her in a way that promised more pleasure to come.
"Se...Sesshoumaru...please." Her voice was strangled as she fought for breath. He lifted his head and sat back, admiring her primitive and provocative position. Her legs were wide open and inviting, her breasts heaved with her every breath and her face was tinged with pink from his ministrations. He lowered his hands to his belt, slowly undoing it. He unzipped his trousers and slid out of them, using controlled movements much like a predator. His erection sprung free, swollen and ready, and Rin's eyes widened as she realized that his size would have to be accommodated by her small body. He got rid of his clothes, tossing them to the side and then moving between her thighs to press his body down upon hers, careful not to crush her with his weight. The feel of her breasts against his chest was maddening and he fought for control.
Her hands began their shy exploration of his body, and as she slid them over the muscles of his back he bent his head and slanted his mouth over hers. He plunged his tongue, already sweetened with her essence, into the hot warmth of her mouth, and she made a mewling sound, digging her tiny nails into his back. He pulled himself up slightly and reached a hand down to steady his engorged member, guiding it to her heat. He began to push the swollen head inside, and he clenched his jaw at her overwhelming tightness. She writhed beneath him, her hands clenching his waist tightly. He withdrew his erection and pushed forward, sliding in another inch, and she gasped. He focused his amber gaze on her face.
"Am I hurting you?" He asked, his voice husky and deep. Her eyes flew to meet his and her eyebrows knotted.
"Yes. No. I don't know, just...please...Sesshoumaru." She breathed, her voice thick. He pushed himself in further, closing his eyes and breathing hard as he fought the urge to thrust inside and sheathe himself completely in her tightness. He came to a delicate barrier and he stopped. His eyes opened immediately.
"You've never done this before."
She shifted under him, an uncomfortable expression on her face. Why hadn't she told him? Though it wouldn't change anything, he was too hot and aroused and inside to stop, even if she wanted him to. He forced himself to stay still and not cause any friction that might take him over the edge of control.
"I told you my boyfriends never took me seriously and treated me like a child. I never got this far with any of them." She confessed, refusing to look at him. He grasped her chin and forced her to make eye contact. As he gazed into her chocolate depths he slowly pushed himself further inside her, his member straining against her maidenhead. She whimpered, but didn't break away from his eyes. With one firm thrust he broke through and sheathed himself at the hilt, grabbing her hands as she tried to push against his chest. She didn't cry out from pain, but he knew he had hurt her when her eyes squeezed shut and the tears seeped from the sides. He brushed away the moisture with his mouth and the gesture made her eyes flutter open. He held her gaze and very gradually began to move himself inside her, withdrawing and entering in a slow rhythm to accustom her body to his girth.
"Oh..." She breathed, panting a little as he penetrated her. Her eyes fluttered closed.
"No." He said sharply, making her immediately open them. He wanted to lose himself in her eyes as he took her. "Look at me."
She did, her gaze passionate and dark with heat. She wrapped her legs around his waist and feverishly ran her delicate hands over the taut muscles of his back and bottom, pressing him against her, wanting more. Biting back a groan, Sesshoumaru picked up his rhythm, feeling her hot tightness squeeze him, bringing him closer and closer to the brink. Her soft moans and gasps fuelled his lust and he thrust harder, his muscles burning and his whole being vibrating with the need to explode. He was so close...he watched her face, her heated cheeks and her eyes, still bright with tears. Her expression was one of wrenching pleasure and he found himself wanting to hear her and feel her as she burst.
Rin suddenly cried out his name and he felt her inner muscles quiver and then squeeze him, milking him with such a delicious pressure that he could hold back no longer. With a few hard, pumping thrusts he spilled his hot essence inside her and muffled a hoarse groan in the curve of her fragrant neck. He remained there, breathing in her sweet scent until the trembling muscles of his arms threatened to give out and he slowly eased himself to the side, bringing her with him without leaving the quivering heat of her body. For a few moments they simply caught their breath and shifted position so that their legs interlocked. The sound of the rain intermingled with that of their heaving breaths, and Sesshoumaru experienced a strange peace that had never before been present in his life. Feeling warm and drowsy, he closed his eyes and gathered Rin against him, hearing her breathing deepen as she slowly drifted off to sleep. He gently slid his sated member out of her moist heat, suppressing a groan. She made a small sound of protest but didn't awaken.
He felt himself drift off, knowing full well that he shouldn't stay here, that he should return to his apartment and plan what he would say to Risa's father when he would inevitably call. He opened his eyes and watched Rin as she slept. Her face took on a more child-like appearance in sleep and he recalled how truly innocent she had been. He was surprised to feel a swift rise of possessiveness as he become conscious of the fact that he was her first. He had made her irrevocably his, he had branded her with his body in a way that no other man in her life had. And she had let him.
He closed his eyes, succumbing to the delicious languor that slowly enveloped him. Come morning his cool, indifferent mask would settle in place, and he would continue with his strategies and routines. He would conduct the plans of his life as ruthlessly as business negotiations, and that was the way it should be. But for tonight, he thought, the last coherent thought he had before losing himself in the darkness, he wouldn't care. Tonight, he would stay with her.
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PHEW! What a chapter, eh? It's actually my first full lemon, so I hope it's alright. This chappie is longer than all the others, mostly because I just couldn't stop writing...and you guys deserve it for all I've put you through. I have no idea when I'll have the next chapter up of course, but hopefully this one will last you for a while!