Author's Note: Now I understand why I despise cliffhangers so thoroughly. All right, all right, I get it! No more drawing it out, I promise. Here are the droids you're looking for and I hope you guys enjoy it.
Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"
"How'd he get in?"
"Picked the lock."
"How'd you get in?"
"Picked the lock…look, get yourself a couple of deadbolts…and lock that shit up."
-Ranger and Stephanie in One for the Money (2012)
I know exactly what you're thinking.
And don't worry, I'm not mad about it at all. You're sitting there calling me the biggest, dumbest, chickeniest chicken to walk the Earth. I achieved my goal of getting to the real with Ranger, found out that I'm not nearly as pathetically one-sided in love with him as I thought, and what do I do? Do I launch myself into his arms and kiss him mute like any sane woman would? No. No, not me. What do I do? I run into my bathroom and hide in my bathtub in the fetal position like a baby. Unbelievable. Somehow, I've managed to get and keep Ricardo Carlos Manoso's attention just like I wanted from the start and now, I'm having a little freak out. Okay, I'm having a big freak out. Like a Costco, Sam's Club buy-in-bulk-to-save-more-freak out…while he's still on the wrong side of the damned door.
I'm an idiot and I bring shame to the whole gender of femalehood…true facts. God, I need a drink. No, I need him. Shit, did he leave? It would serve me right if he did…
"Are…are you still out there?" I called after a couple of more minutes.
"Yeah, Babe."
"Aren't you gonna come in? I know you can get past the lock…"
"Do you want me to come in?"
Yes. No. Yes and no. I don't know. I'm confused…
The lock was jimmied open easily and I squeezed my eyes shut as he pulled the shower curtain back. I am truly pitiful. Not only am I lying shivering in a fetal position in my bathtub, I'm lying shivering in a fetal position in my blue flannel pajamas with can-canning cows all over them. And the cow slippers that squeak when I walk…or run away from the man I love like a scared little bunny rabbit. Wow. Just…wow. Wonder Woman, my ass! More like Scaredey Cat Spaz Girl! Cracking an eye open, I squeaked as he disarmed himself and climbed in barefoot, spooning up behind me. His arms wrapped around me tightly and I knew that unless I kneed him in the Boys (something I'd never, ever do on purpose), I wasn't going anywhere. Not until we hashed this out…
"Uhh…hi, Carlos?" I offered sheepishly.
"Hello, Stephanie." he replied warmly.
"When'd you get here?"
"A Baby Story. And I agree with you. We'd make some damned pretty babies."
"But, you were really quiet!" I protested while twisting to hide my face in his chest.
"I was in the Rangers, Babe. Being quiet often meant the difference between life and death. Besides, you weren't…"
"…being aware of my surroundings. I know. I'm working on it. So… I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you're feeling a lot more than friendship for me."
"Definitely."
"And…well, I want to thank you. Morelli needed to hear what you said to him and I appreciate you standing up for me and meaning it. I can count the people who have before on less than one hand."
"I'd do it again, Stephanie. No one deserves to be wrung out to dry, especially when they can't even defend themselves."
"I'm glad you think that. Um…well, as you heard, I was just talking to Eddie and he helped me reach a rather startling conclusion and…quit laughing, this isn't exactly a cake walk for me!"
I can't believe him. I'm trying to put my fragile little heart on the line here and he's laughing his ass off at me. Jerk. Okay, no he's not…
"Babe, just say it. Yank the bullet out."
"Don't you mean rip the band-aid off?"
"Same meaning. Stephanie, tell me."
"Promise you won't freak out?" I stalled.
"I think you've freaked out enough for the both of us today, Babe."
"Bite me."
"Not until you tell me."
"You already know what it is!"
"I want to hear you say it."
And I really want to say it. Desperately but…well, after everything with The Dick and Morelli, to an extent, my brain put those three little words in a category that meant pain. Men who say they love me (that aren't related to me) inevitably hurt me or turn out to be jerks. Or rather, they feel as if they don't have to hide their jerkish ways from me now that they've got what they wanted, whether it's my cherry or a trophy wife. And logically, I know that Carlos is a completely different animal from them. He's noble and strong and kind and all the things that I thought I had found with the other two losers.
Carlos is the real deal, not crab with a K and that's what's scaring the hell out of me. A guy like him…he could have any woman he wants. Married, unmarried, even a nun…I know that if he set his mind to it, it would be a wrap. That being said, why would he pick me? I mean, I'm not Quasimodo in the bell tower but I'm certainly not the kind of woman that you'd expect to see with him with on the street…
"You're perfect for me, Steph. I wouldn't have fallen for you if you weren't.", he murmured into my hair.
That made me look him on the eyes again. Did he have ESP or something? Hold on…fallen for me?
"Wait…you're in love with me, too?"
"Yes."
"Seriously?"
"Yes, woman! That's what I came here to tell you before you spazzed out on me!" he confirmed in a fondly exasperated tone and with a light swat to my ass. Ow! Well, not really but...still, it's kind of the principle of the matter...
"So, I'm not pathetic?"
"Discounting the fact that you were hiding in a fetal position in ninja cow pajamas earlier, you are not pathetic."
"They're not ninjas, they're showgirls…showcows. Don't look at me like that. They were a gag birthday gift from Mary Lou and ah…jeez! Never mind that! The important thing is that I'm in love with you. It's really soon and possibly a disaster in the making but I am ass over heels in love with you, Ricardo Carlos Manoso. I love you. I'm scared shitless but I still love you. A lot. A really whole lot. So, there. I said it. It's out there. You happy, now?"
"Blissful. Can we get out of the tub, now? My ass is asleep."