~Riley's Confession~

"Fifteen….sixteen…seventeen….eighteen…nineteen…twenty!" Riley slowly counted as she watched Logan do push-ups in front of her.

It was three in the afternoon and Logan decided to hang out at the gym with Riley. They hadn't had a lot of time to spend together recently and with Logan wanting to gain some muscle mass, she decided to help him out with the list of things to do while in the gym that James had made up for him. "Good job, Logie!"

Logan continued to lower himself to the floor and push himself back up again. "Twenty-One," he breathed, eyes squeezed shut. "Twenty-Two! Twenty-Three!" His arms were burning but he had to finished. 'I'm almost there. Just until thirty and then you can start crunches.'

"Almost there," Riley coached from beside him. "Twenty-Nine! Thirty!" Logan dropped to the ground, breathing heavily. "Great job, Logie! I'm impressed, you're really sticking to this diet."

"And I feel great, too," Logan replied, looking up at his friend, breathing heavily. "I feel like I can do more. I have so much energy." His eyes flashed with excitement. "I've never felt like this before. I'm even getting faster when we play hockey."

"Bonzer," Riley grinned, patting him on the arm. "It doesn't hurt to eat healthy. You'll just feel better overall." Logan nodded and rolled onto his back to start doing crunches. Riley sat up and put her hands on his feet to steady them. "Has Kendall and them noticed?"

"Yep," Logan replied as he sat up, breathing heavily. "Only cause…I'm getting on their nerves…asking how many calories…are in…what we eat."

Riley chuckled, shaking her head. "Don't become too obsessed with calories, Logie," she commented with a shake of her head. "Just eat sensibly and work out and you'll be fine." She frowned slightly when Logan didn't reply. "No need to really worry about it."

"Yep," Logan agreed. Riley's eyebrows twitched. "No worries, Landy. I just want to stick with this."

"Sure," Riley replied with a nod.

'Just eat fewer calories and work out,' Logan thought, repeating it over and over in his head. 'You've already lost ten pounds. Imagine how many more you could lose. You could look like James in no time.' He stopped and flopped down onto his back, running his hand over his stomach.

"You've really got some abs coming, Logie," Riley said with a grin as she lightly slapped him in the stomach. "Come on, let's go get something to eat."

"Logie, what do you want?"

Logan glanced at Riley as she pulled her wallet out of her bag before looking over at the menu. His stomach growled, but nothing on the menu looked appetizing. 'Or healthy' he thought with a shake ogf his head. "Oh, I'm fine thanks." He gave her a smile. "I ate before we started working out."

"So, you should be hungry now," Riley replied.

"I'll eat some fruit when I get back to the Palm Woods," Logan replied with a shrug. "I'm fine. Trust me. Just some water, please."

"Okay then," Riley nodded before turning back to the waitress. "Uhmm. I'll have a toasted sandwich with ham, cheese and tomato. And a chocolate milkshake, please." The waitress nodded and walked off and Riley turned her attention back to Logan. "So, our 17th is coming up. What are you planning?"

"Nothing big," Logan replied, shrugging again. He started drumming his fingers on the table. "Just wanna hang out with everyone. Have a party for our 18th. A huge blow out. Any suggestions?"

"I dunno," Riley replied with a brief shake of her head. "Whatever I suppose." She gave him a small smile. "So, what are you going to get Rhubes? Any ideas for that?"

"Not yet," Logan replied with a shake of his head. He sighed heavily. "I've tried thinking of everything. But, it doesn't seem like enough, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know," Riley replied.

"You should tell Kendall," Logan muttered. "You have so much in common. I think you'd be perfect for each other."

"You know how hard it is for us to talk about our feelings," Riley commented as the waitress came with her chocolate milkshake. She took a long sip from it and smiled, licking her lips. "Mmmm. I just, I hate it cause I feel too vulnerable. But, I'm getting better."

"How often do you see your shrink, now?" Logan asked, messing with a napkin.

"Only when we need to," Riley replied evenly. "Patrick and Noah go more because of their anxiety and panic attacks and stuff. Sometimes I have nightmares about dad, but not much anymore. They've really helped."

"Well, I'm glad," Logan replied with a smile. "You guys have opened up more since your dad has left. You seem—"

"Normal?" Riley asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Happy," Logan finished, giving her an odd look. "No one's normal, Landy."

Riley's order arrived and Logan started hungrily at the toasted sandwich. Suddenly his stomach rumbled embarrassingly. Riley paused in her eating and looked at Logan. He blushed under her gaze. "What did you eat before you came here? You sound starved!"

"Oh...I had a huuuuge lunch," Logan replied. "Mrs. Knight made macaroni and cheese with hot dog bits in them and those dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. You know how much I love those." Riley smiled and nodded before taking another bite out of her sandwich. "And I had hot dogs when I was with Bella too. I just don't feel well, that's all. My stomach's been doing that all day."

Riley paused and looked up at Logan, giving him a suspicious look. Logan pulled his cup of water over to him and took a long sip. She let out a heavy sigh. "You're not starving yourself are you? I mean, you've dropped a few kilos since last month."

Logan smiled and simply started laughing. "Are you kidding?" he asked. "Do you know how dangerous that is? Me starve myself! That's a new one."

"Yes, Logie, unfortunately, I know how dangerous that is," Riley stated, her voice tight before taking another bite of her sandwich.

Logan peered at her, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. 'So she knows someone that's starved themselves? But, who would do something like that? That's so dangerous.' He started playing with the napkin again. 'Then again, that means you're not taking in a lot of calories and you'd be working out more, burning more.'

"You haven't eaten at all, have you?" Riley asked suddenly, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Like, ever since this first started."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Logan replied, shaking his head. "I've been eating. Ask anyone."

"I just want to help, Logie," Riley said in a quiet voice. "Starving yourself isn't going to help anything. It's dangerous and you're really going to hurt yourself."

"I am eating, Riles!" Logan said, shaking his head. "There's nothing wrong. I just need to lose a little weight. I have a little of fat here and there. Excuse me if I want to tone myself."

"Logan, you play hockey!" Riley cried. "And you dance, and you go to the beach all the time! You don't need to lose weight and you don't need to gain muscle mass! You already have it!"

"It's not enough," Logan said, shaking his head. "I'm just going for a little while longer. I'll be ok. You're worrying over nothing."

"Logan, you have an eating disorder," Riley said quietly.

Logan set his jaw, suddenly mad. 'Why can't people just leave me alone! Can't they see that I'm ok?' "No, I don't," he replied evenly. "I'm…I'm not like that." He then bowed his head and added quietly, "Not anymore."

"Everyone says that, but I can happen to everybody even if they don't realize it," Riley replied with a shake of her head. "Denial is the first step. Just accept it."

"I don't have anything I need to accept!" Logan snapped. "I'm fine."

"I just want to help," Riley said quietly. "Logie, I know how this goes. I've seen it before. I can help you, stop this before it's too late."

"You and Bella are like broken records, I swear to god! There's nothing I need help with," Logan said as he got to his feet. "Thanks for helping me today. I've gotta run."

"Logie!" Riley called after him, but he hurried out the door. She grabbed her wallet and threw a wad of money down on the table. "I've gotta find Kendall."

"I'm telling you, nothing's wrong with Logan," Kendall said in a tight voice.

As soon as Riley had left Logan that afternoon, she went to track Kendall down, finding him at the ice rink like she knew she would find him. He always went there when he needed to clear his head, or just to keep reminding himself of where he came from and how this could all be taken away from him.

As soon as she found him, she told him that they needed to talk about something important and that it would be better to have the conversation back in their apartment where they couldn't be overheard. Once they were back in the Palm Woods, and in apartment 2J, Riley told him everything she was thinking and worried about.

"No, you just don't want to see that there is!" Riley shot back, her eyes flashing. "Can't you see what's going on? He's not eating! He's working out too much. Kendall, he has an eating disorder."

"No, you're wrong," Kendall shook his head. "He would never do that."

"He has," Riley replied quietly and Kendall shook his head harder. "He has, Kendall. Think about it! That song Rhubes wrote, Hollow Man, is about him."

"No, no, no," Kendall moaned, putting his head in his hands before dropping down onto the couch. "No." He lifted his head and looked up at Riley, a look of disbelief on his face. "How do you know?"

"I've seen it before," Riley replied, placing a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "I know all the signs."

"Who?"

"Rhubes," Riley replied, moving to sit down next to him and Kendall let out another noise of despair. "Hers wasn't too bad, we noticed before anything could really happen. Luckily, she'd only lost a little bit of weight, it was her never eating that tipped us off. She was only in rehab for a month; it just about killed her though. Y'know 'cause we hate to be apart." Kendall nodded. "None of the press found out." She rubbed his back. "Surely, you've noticed that we monitor her eating."

"I never thought about it," Kendall replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "I mean, she eats slower the rest of you, that's about it."

"And we always make sure at least one of us is still at the table while she's eating," Riley replied. "And as soon as she's done we tell Ronan what she ate and how long it took. Sometimes we're there for hours, but she gets better each day. If we get Logan help now, we can turn this around. He isn't too far in." She rested her head on his shoulder and ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. "We need to tell your mom. He can get help. He'll be ok."

"I'm so stupid," Kendall slapped his hands down onto his legs. "I should've known something was wrong. I should've done something. Anything!"

"You didn't know what to look for," Riley shook her head. "Don't blame yourself, because it's not your fault." Kendall shook his head and briefly looked at her his green eyes had lost its normal shine. "Kendall, look at me," Riley said as she rested her chin on his shoulder. He didn't move. "Kendall." Kendall lifted his head and turned to look at her. She moved forward and pressed her lips against his in a soft kiss, to which he immediately responded to. He gave her a confused, yet happy, look when she pulled away. "It's not your fault; don't blame yourself for something you've never witnessed before. Ok?"

"…Kay," Kendall nodded.

"And you can't always be there for Logan, or James or Carlos, or even Katie and Mama Knight to look after them now matter how hard you want to," Riley added. "Well, maybe you'll find a way, but you have to accept the fact that something like this could happen." She watched as tears gathered in his eyes. "I've accepted that one day Pat, No, and even Syd will tell me that they don't need me to protect them anymore. Sure, it'll suck but it just shows that they're giving me time to do what I want and to not worry about them."

"And you're sure we can get Logan help?" Kendall asked, his voice cracking as he wiped his eyes with his hands.

"Positive," Riley replied with a nod. "And no one needs to know. We can make sure that no paparazzi gets wind of this. Trust me."

He nodded and let out a sigh, laughing a little bit. "No offense, but I guess it's a good thing we've made friends who know how to get through things like this."

"You got that right," Riley replied, laughing a little bit as well. She removed her arm from his shoulders and got to her feet.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I was going to call Ronan and everyone and tell them what's going on," Riley replied, waving her phone in his face. "We can tell your mom as soon as she gets back, and then we can confront Logan."

"Could you do that later?" Kendall asked, suddenly looking like a small boy. "I don't want to be alone, not even for a minute."

"Sure, Hockey-Head," Riley stated as she put her phone back into her pocket. She dropped back into her seat, once again running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

He turned his head and gave her a soft kiss. "I love you, Riles."

Riley blinked, surprised, as a smile etched onto her face. "I love you too, Kendork." Kendall smiled and pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes.

Logan looked around the restaurant he and Rhuben were sitting in. They were silently eating their dinner, Logan pushing his food around his plate every now and then, as they talked. It was comfortable for him, sitting across from her, sharing nice conversation.

He could barely believe that he was actually out with the girl of his dreams. He could barely believe that he had the courage to kiss her on the beach that day. But, he had been the happiest he'd ever been since then. But, despite all that, he felt weary and ready to jump out of his skin at any moment. What's more, he didn't like the way she was looking at him. Like she was expecting him to tell her something. And he had a sinking feeling that she knew what he had been keeping from everybody.

"Are you ok?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "You seem…twitchy tonight."

He glanced around, heart beat quickening as he drummed his fingers on the table. "I'm fine," he told her.

"You're always saying that," Rhuben gently replied, reaching out to take his hand.

He quickly pulled it away. 'When'd my hands get so cold?' She gave him a patient look, folding her hands in her lap. But, he was surprised. She was never the type to initiate any form of PDA around anybody, she was that closed off. But, it made him feel good that she was giving it a chance with him.

"Logan, there's something wrong with you," she said quietly. "I just want to help."

"No there's not!" Logan cried. He looked around at some of the other people who were eating there and quickly lowered his voice. "I don't need help. There's nothing about me that needs help."

"I'm just worried about you, Logan," Rhuben replied.

'There's nothing wrong with me! Why can't you see that? I feel great! Amazing!' Logan frantically thought, pressing his lips together. 'Whatever happened to privacy?'

"You don't have to worry about me," Logan replied. He let out a breath of air and reached across the table, cupping her cheek with his hand. "I'm fine. I feel great" Rhuben closed her eyes and placed her hand on top of his before gently removing it, holding it tightly in her hand.

"You're starving yourself," Rhuben replied. She wasn't asking him, she was telling him.

Logan looked around, trying to find a way to get out quickly. But, he was caught. He knew he was, he could see it in her eyes that no matter what he said, he wouldn't believe it. And he was tired of running. He was scared that if he left, then he wouldn't be able to stop.

And he wanted to stop. That stumble in the gym really scared him. He had never felt his heart beat so quickly and it actually hurt! Ever since then, he tried to keep eating, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It was just easier to skip. The hunger pains still kept him up at night and he wanted it to stop.

"How do you know?" Logan asked in a quiet voice, sounding scared.

"Because…I used to have an eating disorder, too," Rhuben replied, sounding just as quiet. Logan stared at her, eyes wide with shock and fear. "Yeah, I know. It's not all that surprising actually. It happens a lot to girls, mainly to dancers."

Logan dropped his head and felt tears immediately come to his eyes. "I'm not like this," he muttered, shaking his head. "I'm too smart for this."

"Even smart people can be brainwashed, Logan," Rhuben gently replied. "You've brainwashed yourself into thinking, 'If I lose more weight, I can do this' and 'If I lose more weight, I can do that' and you constantly compare yourself to other people." She peered at him, tilting her head to the side. "Am I right?" Logan silently nodded. "You're going to have to tell Mrs. Knight."

"I don't think I can," Logan whispered, shaking his head. "What will she think of me?"

"You're her son just as much as Kendall is," Rhuben replied evenly. "Just like Ronan thought of me as his daughter way before he decided to adopt us. She's not going to judge you, she's going to want to help you."

"But, if you've had this before," Logan said quietly. "Then you must've known I've had this problem."

"Yes, my whole family knew," Rhuben replied with a nod. "Ever since my spell with anorexia, which is what you have, they've been keeping close tabs on me whenever I'm eating something. I've gotten better, but we all noticed, and we warned Kendall about it too."

"And your song—"

"It really isn't about you at all," Rhuben replied, laughing despite the situation. "It's about how Hollywood changes the people we know into a former shell of themselves. We decided to tell you, hoping that one of the guys would pick up on our worry for you. Thank god, Ronan did."

"I should've known better," Logan groaned, running his hands over his face. "I'm not like this. I don't do stuff like this. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I didn't mean to hurt you, Bella. I just—"

"You just?" Rhuben repeated, prompting Logan. He shook his head.

"I want help," he croaked out before he burst into tears. "I'm scared, Bella. I was running, and my knees buckled. My heart was hurting so bad. I didn't think I was going to die, but I was so scared."

"It could be worse, Logan," Rhuben replied. "A lot worse. Trust me, I've seen it. And it really is scary." Logan looked up at her and saw tears welling up in her eyes. "I love you, Logan. I don't want to see you hurt. You were there for me with...the abuse thing…and now I'm going to be there for you. Just like a best friend should."

Logan nodded. 'Everything will be ok, Logie. You're going to get help. You've gotten help just in time. But, what's everyone else going to say?'

The next chapter is the last chapter and it's also technically the epilogue at the same time. Thanks so much for reading this story, you guys! I hope you enjoyed it. The "theme songs" for this fic is Hollow Man by Trapt and Phil Collins' cover of True Colors.

PS: Head on over to our twitter (DarkElements10) and check out the blog post I updated.

Cheers,

-Rhubes