For the first time, Ben was there when she woke up. She knew that it wouldn't be the last time. There was a little fluttering, tickling sensation inside her, half nerves, half excitement when she looked at him, concentrating on a screen he held in his hands, hair falling into his eyes, a frown creasing his forehead.
She was going to see him with his clothes off. She didn't need any kind of vision to know that was true. A time was coming when she'd be able to push that hair out of his eyes for him, kiss away that frown, throw the screen onto the floor, pull him down on top of her and…
'Remind me to teach you about shielding your thoughts sometime,' he said, glancing up. 'But yes, to all those things. We could start now if I wasn't so busy.'
And he attempted a smile. She had never once seen him smile, even when he was joking he was always straight faced. But here was a smile that he appeared to have been saving up especially for her, and he offered it up as a gift.
She hugged her knees to her chest and sat up. 'Is it really going to happen then?' She gestured at the pad.
'I'm just reviewing the movement orders. It isn't a retreat, we're going to regroup and put out the call for allies.'
'Will it work, do you think?'
'Do you think it won't?' He looked horrified for a moment.
'I don't know. I'm just a nobody from Jakku whose parents were filthy junk traders. My mother wasn't a general. Power is your world, not mine.'
His face closed down for a minute. 'It doesn't matter who your parents were, this is your world now, you proved that last night.' He paused. 'The only bit of it I'm not convinced about is the allies. It's just a different form of protection scheme, I understand that – they pay us and we protect them and the more of them there are who pay, the bigger the army gets. I see that you want them to feel like they're getting something out of it too, so that we don't need to deploy forces all the time to make sure they don't rebel, but what I'm not clear on is why we wouldn't just take over as soon as we've rebuilt the army? We could force them to pay more than your tithe and they wouldn't be able to stop us.'
She rolled her eyes. 'Because eventually, we'd be in exactly the same position we are now. You can't base governance on fear. I thought you were known for your fanatical loyalty and devotion – why are you finding it so hard to apply that to anything else?'
He refused to meet her gaze. 'It's hard to be loyal and devoted on an intergalactic scale. Much simpler one on one.'
That reminded her that he was sitting on the end of her bed. 'Will I see you later?'
He tried out the smile again, managing to make it both shy and suggestive at the same time. 'I certainly hope so.'
The memory of that smile sustained her through calls with Captain Ocram, Lieutenant Vanya, Major Breen and Captain Matandari, all of whom contacted her to complain about being dragged out of bed in the middle of the night to confirm the account Rey had given to the military council. They were slightly more enthusiastic about the fact that they were now members of the council and were looking forwarding to seeing her again at the next meeting, first thing tomorrow morning.
Rey drifted around aimlessly after the holopad was finally empty, coming across a small card placed in the middle of her desk, upon which had been written a single word – 'Tonight.' Ben must have left it that morning, she thought, although she could tell that he was no longer on the ship and she had no idea what time tonight he meant.
As the hours passed by she became more anxious about the whole thing. It wasn't so much the ethical considerations that were holding her back, she was reconciled to the fact that anyone on the outside would think she'd joined the Order mind, body and soul, her concerns were rather more practical. She'd never trusted anyone enough before to let them into her bed, so she would have to rely on Ben to teach her anything she might need to know. She suspected he'd jump at the chance.
Haight brought a welcome distraction. 'Well, this is goodbye.' He threw out his arms. 'I'm going to miss you so much.'
'Have you been transferred?' She felt unexpectedly wobbly at the thought of the tailor's departure, he'd been a friend over the last few months, or the closest thing it was possible to have to a friend on board.
'Nope, I'm packed up and I'm shipping out. The announcement came through an hour ago. Kylo Ren says anyone who doesn't want to stay in the First Order can leave, without even getting shot, on condition that they get on the first transport out and leave everything behind. I'm off. Janeek has gone already. I just popped up to say goodbye and well, thank you. I know this is only because of you and him.'
Rey hugged him back. 'Where will you go?'
'Back home. My old job is still open, and I can carry on with my life and forget this ever happened. I won't forget you, of course.' He kissed her on the cheek. 'No one could forget you.'
She blinked a tear from the corner of her eye, but he gave her a cheeky grin. 'I left you a present in the wardrobe, in case you and him ever do work out. Good luck.'
He was off, whistling down the corridor a few short seconds later.
It was a dress, a flawlessly white, floor skimming dress, cinched at the waist with a white belt, complete with lightsaber hook, and a matching cloak which flowed across the floor like molten metal when she put it on.
She spent quite a long time playing with the cloak, then had a very long bath, and spent even more time swirling around the room as day turned into evening. Was this the sort of thing he'd expect her to wear, she wondered? Did it look like she'd dressed up for him, like she was trying too hard? What if he wanted to take the dress off? He'd definitely want to take the dress off. She had to sit down while she thought about that one.
Finally, finally, there came a knock at the door.
Her stomach dropped into her boots, but she swallowed hard, and went to answer it anyway.
She didn't even recognise the caller who shot her in the chest.