And now for something completely different. Yay Skoodge-y goodness! Skoodge has always been one of my favorite characters, but he didn't really have much of a part, so at first it was rather difficult to write for him. However, I have settled to write him in the style of pseudo-drama. On with the show!

Chapter 14

It was all so long ago.

I opened my eyes, finding myself in an enormous pile of…dookie.

What had happened to me? I looked around in an attempt to discover some link to the past, but discovered something far worse. It was a very large corpse, mixed in with the dookie, and it looked half digested! I analyzed this for a moment, then realized that yes; one would have to be digested in order to end up in a pile of dookie. Or, you had to be really weird. I stood up, dusted myself off and went to inspect the corpse. It looked familiar: it was a large military-looking man, with one cyborg eye. His dog tags were missing though, so I couldn't be sure of his name. I observed my surroundings.

Wherever I was, I had been there a while. I was standing in the middle of a desert canyon. There were strange species of cacti growing in spurts here or there, and whatever had digested the cyborg man and I seemed to have died doing so: a large animal skeleton (it looked like a hogulus) rested not far from the dookie. I suddenly became very thirsty, so I ran to a nearby cave in the canyon wall. Sure enough, there was a pool of watrak, along with a blue beam of light between two transmitters. I drank watrak until I was sated…my parched throat was soothed. I washed my hands and face (a good Invader is always clean!) and then inspected the transmitter beam. I poked it.

Before I could blink or asked what happened, I ended up in a room. It was pure white, and filled with…ugh, more skeletons! Suddenly, a groan came from one of the bodies that hadn't decomposed yet. It was a small brown alien with what seemed to be a deflated head. I ran over to him and held his head up. He opened his yellow eyes.

"Ugh, Throbulator has been waiting many years…."

"What have you been waiting for?" I asked. He inhaled shakily.

"Long ago, He-Who-Eats-Sandwiches prophesied that we, the inhabitants of the Holding Pen of Pain, would be saved. We all believed him of course, even Throbulator; he had been an inhabitant for much longer than the rest of us." I looked around, examining the white room.

"Is that where we are, the Holding Pen of Pain?" Throbulator nodded weakly.

"Throbulator doesn't want you to be sad; he knows you aren't the savior."

"Why would I be sad?" Throbulator suddenly began coughing.

"Because of…this." He collapsed, dead. I set his body down and closed his eyes. I stood up, walked to the left of a blue crystal alien corpse, and opened the Exit door.

Yes, it was so very long ago. Now, I after hitchhiking with The Resisty and procuring a spare Cruiser from them, I found myself in search of the only person who could help me remember what happened before I was eaten by a hogulus. It was not hard to remember his face, though all other memories between conquering Blorch and waking up in dookie were gone. He was such a picture of leadership; I always wanted to be like him.

Zim.

I had to find him, or I would live forever wondering what the missing part of my life had been like. Had I loved? Had I laughed? Had I truly lived? I needed answers!

So, here I was, sitting in a mobile space tavern, talking with an escaped alien from one of Irk's factory planets. He was telling me of the time when he switched the labels on two boxes. The first box was shipped to one Invader Tenn—the second, to Invader Zim.

"So," I began, my voice carrying even through my popped detective-coat collar. "Did you track the shipping process to this…planet Earth?" The alien took a swig of soda and nodded, the large screw in his head moving back and forth in a mesmerizing manner.

"All of my people's women were forced into shipment tracking. My dear Neela tracked all of my shipments, and that was one of them. We had a large inter-galactic map, which recorded all of the shipments." I raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have this map with you?" He nodded.

"Of course; when I escaped, I had to take every piece of evidence that I had existed with me. I even took Neela." He gestured at the tavern's barmaid, another of his kind. She turned and waved happily. I smiled and waved back, then turned back to my conversation.

"How much do you want for the map?" He shrugged, reaching into his loincloth pocket. He pulled out a blue screen and handed it to me.

"You can have it for free," he said around another mouthful of soda. "I've been trying to get rid of it for five years." I nodded. I stood, placing my money for the sodas on the table, then reached to shake his hand.

"It's been a pleasure doing business with you, Kliklak. I will be forever indebted to your cause." He smiled, shook my hand, and I took my leave. As I settle into my Cruisers drive seat, I turned on the map, typing in "Earth". A red trail from my current position to Earth appeared. I locked the coordinates into my ships computer, then sat back, eager to conclude my search for the elusive Zim.

Man, Skoodge is so cool! ^^ Did you catch what alien he was doing business with? It's the factory worker from the Megadoomer episode! He's pretty funny too. Hope you have a lovely day. Till next time! 3