A/N: Yes, I KNOW the chapter is a couple of days late, but give me a break! I've been sick with the flu all week. A really bad virus of it, I may add, since I was throwing up and sleeping for 20 hours a day, and STILL am unable to talk.
/ahem/ Yes, but enough of that. I gave you a looong chapter to make up for it, didn't I?
Anyway, please forgive me if the scene in the chapter sucks. I went a little bit farther this time, since this has an M rating and I wanted to experiment going a bit deeper in to these sorts of things, but I think this is as far as I will EVER go. Meh, despite the fact that I have no problem talking dirty in real life, I'm not comfortable writing this stuff in public domain.
Oh, and since today (well, YESTERDAY, technically, since it's past midnight) was Talk Like A Pirate Day, then I shall observe it by giving you guys a little hint about my next Inuyasha fanfic: Pirates will be in it! Though, I'm still working on the technicalities of the plot, so don't ask me. I'll come when this story ends--Winter 2007. :D
I anticipate next chapter to be on time, but you never know. If I end up going to the hospital for this, maybe not. But, I doubt it, since I can eat things now. :/
With the Summer Dances drawing nearer, rehearsals took up much of Kagome's time. Almost every morning, she, and many other geisha across Shinbashi district took the familiar path to the large theater at the very heart of the district, to practice the dance steps over and over until they were all sure they could do them in their sleep.
While all the teachers began to crack down upon their students, making sure their steps and expressions were just right, the geisha who had been Kagome's singing teacher for years noticed a dramatic change in the way she danced and sung.
It was as if the glum that had plagued Kagome before had vanished, for she now was all smiles and happiness. When she sung of the tragic maiden, her words seemed to expand with joy and she told of how much the woman loved her lover, the wind. It was as if she had opened her heart to the music, and poured out her entire soul in to its words.
When she danced, her steps were much brighter and happier than the rest. Though geisha were taught to keep their face as stoic as a mask, Kagome found a hard time keeping that mask in place, when it was as if her own very being emanated happiness.
It was something that amazed the other geisha, particularly her geisha sister, Sango. How was it, that after Kagome had been so upset before, that she could now turn around and be so cheerful. The Sakura Blossom of Tokyo went to rehearsals humming American jazz, laughing when something beautiful caught her eye, and never was a smile not on her face.
"I don't understand it at all," Sango spoke to her patron, Miroku, that night as she sat with him in his apartment. "She seemed so upset after she had been discovered around that man and ordered not to see him again, but now, she seems much happier."
"Well, you woman do usually have your odd mood swings—"
"It's not that, Houshi-san!" Sango cut him off sharply, before looking up to the ceiling and sighing, clearly stumped. "But that doesn't explain what it could be. I don't think I've seen her this happy since…" She stopped, remembering the last time she saw Kagome this happy, was right after she had spotted her geisha sister with Inuyasha!
Miroku raised an eyebrow, curious of her sudden pause, "Sango?"
The geisha shook her head. It can't be that! Kagome isn't that stupid…she wouldn't risk her career and getting thrown out of the okiya, would she? "Nothing, Houshi-san…just a thought that doesn't matter."
Folding his arms, her patron tried to think of a logical explanation that would put Sango's worry to rest. "Ookami-san is out of town, right? You always said she wasn't happy with him, so perhaps she is happier now that he is gone, and hasn't yet come back."
"He is late," Sango corrected. "By about a week, but I didn't dare tell Kagome that—it might dampen her mood." That is odd, though…Kouga-san usually wants nothing more than to see Kagome.
"That must be the only explanation," Miroku spoke up. "Her patron is out of town, and now he is late coming back, so perhaps she is happier with him being gone for longer than he said, allowing her a bit more time of freedom."
Sango resigned herself, putting away the more troubling thoughts. "Yes, that must be it. There can be no other explanation."
There was silence in the room for a moment, as Sango's eyes wandered absently over towards the radio, that was still waiting for the radio network to be put in place. But after a minute of silence passed, as Sango told herself over and over that she was worrying for nothing, her patron spoke out of the blue, "So, if I was to go away, dear Sango, would you be as happy as Kagome is now? Or would you weep tears of longing until I returned."
The question caught her so off guard, that she stared back at his face, sporting an impish grin, for a long minute before sputtering, "I would laugh until the day you came back, and cry afterwards!"
"Your face is bright red, Sango," Miroku joked, "Are you sure you wouldn't miss me?"
"Not even a little bit!"
Though she denied him, over and over, her patron saw the small, innocent blush in her cheeks. Grinning, he turned away, knowing it was only a matter of time…
"Inuyasha, do you ever think about the future?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"I mean…you're probably not going to be a delivery boy forever. So, someday, what would you like to do?"
The hanyou sighed in thought. They were back in the little room he rented above Toutousai's studio, where they often went to talk after she snuck out of engagements to be with him.
Ever since they had given in on the sakura bridge, their relationship had been hidden, a secret that no one else knew. When they were together, it didn't matter what their lives were like, or the eventual consequences of their actions. They were together, and that was all that mattered.
It took Inuyasha a few minutes to come up with a response. "Well…I don't want to do this forever…but what I want to do, I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I'm not like Sesshoumaru and them, but…I think it would be nice, to own a small business."
"Really?" she said in surprise, unconsciously leaning closer to him as he told her of his dreams. "What kind of business?"
"I don't really know," he replied, shrugging. "But the thought of it is nice…" Wondering what it would have been like if I met you in the are supposed to meet men, not like this…
Kagome nodded in agreement, "It does sound nice, but if you don't know exactly what type of business you want to run, then how can you ever get the chance to do it?"
"I think I'll just wait and see what opportunity comes by. It's worked for me before."
True, she thought, her eyes on him as he looked out of the window, towards the sky dotted with stars. Sometimes things happen without ever planning for them, Remembering their first meeting, the thought, And that does work out for the better.
But reminiscing on their relationship, Kagome couldn't help but wonder where they stood now. She went over to his apartment frequently after leaving parties, to sneak back in to the okiya when it was late and Rin had fallen asleep at the door, waiting for her to come home as Tsubaki had commanded. But when she went over to his apartment…all they did was talk. Perhaps a few kisses, but…nothing more than that.
At first, that was what she wanted, but now…she couldn't help but want more. She had never really experienced this feeling before…this longing for a man's body when usually she looked upon the act with revulsion. Men like Kouga and all the others had craved it from her, but now, she was the one left wanting.
She wanted to be with him, to have his body entwined with hers, to have him complete her where Kouga could not. Yet, she wondered why Inuyasha was so reluctant when she was so willing.
Was it because of her geisha profession, that he thought it would offend her, after her forced relationship with Kouga? Or was he more interested in taking their relationship slow, not realizing they didn't have that much time?
Kagome knew their time would be cut short soon. Kouga was already a week late from when he said he would come back, and even though this made her happier, he could walk back in to her life any day. Why was Inuyasha taking so much time, when Kagome knew they did not have the time to spare if this was all she was to have out of her entire life.
Sighing, Kagome looked up towards the ceiling in thought. He doesn't understand that I want more, and soon, because we do not have that time to waste.
I don't want to be handed back to Kouga before I have known what it is like to be with a man of my own choosing instead of one who bought me.
The next morning, Kagome found a note slipped in to her delivery of cosmetics. Come meet me at the studio next Saturday. I have a surprise for you. Inuyasha had said. And so, after two days of careful planning, Kagome was able to sneak away early that afternoon to make her way across Tokyo to Toutousai's photography studio.
Kagome was still wearing a fancy kimono, as she had to leave a morning engagement to make it there, but she had been careful to wipe all the geisha makeup off her face, in hopes that without it, she wouldn't be recognized. Her hair was still piled atop her had, with the jade comb Kouga had given her once holding it in place.
She rang the bell in front of the studio, but was puzzled when no one came to answer. Curious, she pushed the door open, glancing in to the empty studio. No one was there, and Toutousai's equipment looked relatively untouched for the day.
Walking in to the studio, she called, "Inuyasha?"
She heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Looking towards the back of the studio, she saw Inuyasha appearing from the bottom of the stairs. Was she mistaken, or did he look really happy. "You came…"
Wondering what it could be that made him look so thrilled, she said cautiously, "Yes, you said you have a surprise for me."
"Yeah, come on up, I've got it up here…You're really going to love this."
Still puzzled, she followed him anyway, asking him a question before she ascended the stairs. "Where's Toutousai-san?"
"He's gone; went to Osaka on a business trip. Anyway," he spoke, opening the door to the little room in the attic, look there."
In the center of his room was a large, flat box, looking as if it had been opened previously. "Inuyasha?" she questioned, as she approached it, wondering what on earth it could be.
"Open it," he urged, and anxious to see what it was, Kagome kneeled down and carefully removed the top half of the box, looking down inside with wide eyes.
"Inuyasha!" she gasped, one hand clasping over her mouth. "Is it really…" Inside the box was something she had never expected to see presented to her; western clothes. Lying in the box was a lovely dress made of a floaty, light pink material that would hug to her skin, with a higher hem, like all western clothes. The box also contained a pair of white gloves, as many women wore in the west, along with a fancy had that would sit upon her head at a jaunty angle, and shoes with a heel that made her wonder how she would walk in it.
Kagome hadn't spoken, and Inuyasha asked nervously, "Do you…like it?"
It took her a few seconds to speak, "I love it…" Nothing else could have complimented her obsession with America in such a way. But she had to wonder…Western clothes were expensive, so how… "Inuyasha, where did you get this?"
She turned, and he could see the gratitude lying within her brown eyes. Blushing ever so slightly, the hanyou folded his arms and said, "Well, you know…the policy is that if the customer doesn't want it, and if the company won't accept returns, I get to keep it. I know it sounds like its second hand, but I thought it—"
"Inuyasha," Kagome lifted up the dress, holding it against herself to see how it would fit, not being able to wait until she wore it for the first time. "Thank you."
He didn't know what to say to that; but he did stop babbling on about the technicalities of how he got it. "Do you…want to try it on?"
She looked a little surprised by his comment, and he finished, "I mean…I was wondering if you wanted to go downtown, and you could wear that, and…"
Kagome couldn't help but feel even happier now. Being able to go around Tokyo, dressed in western clothes, with Inuyasha at her side was like a dream come true. She nodded silently, and, awkwardly, Inuyasha stared for a moment, before leaving the room quickly, shutting the door so she could change.
He had left her so abruptly, that it left her wondering if he was trying to make sure she wouldn't see any implications from his actions. Shaking her head at his behavior, she tried to dress herself in the clothes, finding it odd that she had to step in to the dress as opposed to wrapping it around herself like normal kimonos.
It was an unusual experience, wearing a hem this short and feeling as if her arms and legs were totally exposed. But it couldn't be helped. As she reached up to put the hat upon her head, she didn't notice the jade comb being jostled out of her hair, falling down to land between a crack in the floorboards, unseen. She wouldn't even notice it when it was gone.
The shoes seemed like torture, but after some of her rigid geisha training, including times when her hands bled after hours of playing the shamisen, it was nothing she couldn't handle. The only problem she had with the outfit was the buttons it was fastened with. There were a few she couldn't reach on her back, and, embarrassed, she knew she would have to ask for help.
Taking the hat off her head where it had been resting upon the elegant bun she had still from her geisha outfit, she went over to the door and opened it. "Inuyasha?"
He had been waiting at the door, his back turned as if just staring at it would make him see. He turned to her, and as the door opened, his eyes widened as well, taking it all in. "You look…you look…"
He didn't finish, disappointing Kagome somewhat, but nonetheless, she said, "Inuyasha…I…I need a little help. I can't reach the last buttons.
His face instantly flushed. "Oh…um…" He didn't finish, but walked over to her side, looking at the trail of buttons on her back, the last few undone and revealing the bare skin of her back to him.
Without another word, he helped her out, as she stood, frozen. Gently, softly, she could feel his fingertips brush against her bare skin as he fastened the last couple of buttons, a moment that she didn't know was slow torture for him as well. The moment seemed to last into eternity, as Kagome stiffened, feeling his fingers slightly brush against the back of her neck…
And then the last button was done, and both were left to snap out of the moment that had their hearts beating and heads swimming. "Uh, we should get going, to go somewhere before it gets too late…" Inuyasha said quickly, his eyes determinedly looking away from her.
Kagome nodded, still caught up in the moment, before snapping herself out of it, and quickly grabbing her hat and putting it back on her head. "Right…"
She was left to follow him out of the studio, wondering why the moment didn't last any longer, when it clearly could have been so much more.
Downtown Tokyo was as Kagome had never seen it before, as she now had the liberty to walk with Inuyasha wherever they pleased. She passed things she would have never seen in Shinbashi District; bars, dance halls, movie theaters, restaurants…and she fully came to realize how much larger of a place Tokyo was; something she never really noticed while confined within the tight world of the Shinbashi District.
"So, where do you want to go?" Inuyasha asked, but his question was answered as they passed a movie theater and Kagome gasped.
"They have a the new John Gilbert and Clara Bow movie!" she said in amazement. "I didn't think…I was sure it would be out for at least another couple of months!" Kagome smiled widely, and turned her smile upon him. "Inuyasha, can we?"
The hanyou looked up at the movie poster in digest, blowing out a large puff of smoke from the cigarette that had been in his mouth. "Fuck if I'm going to see one of those lovely-dovey movies! How can anyone stand this shit?" Romance movies sounded so fake and cheesy to him, especially ones like this where everything was so clearly acted, it was worse than noh theater.
Kagome was disappointed, but she knew she didn't want to feel guilty later by dragging him to something he didn't want to see. She looked over, and saw the other showing in the theater was for a new Douglas Fairbanks movie, called The Theif of Bagdad. "Do you like Douglas Fairbanks movies?" she asked, pointing to the poster that showed a man floating above a persian city on a magic carpet.
Taking the cigarette out of his mouth, Inuyasha replied, "Well, I guess…Robin Hood wasn't so bad…"
"That was my favorite!" Kagome said in glee, "But this one probably won't be as good—"
"Never know until you see it," Inuyasha piped up, and soon, they found themselves in the dark theater, watching the silent film that recently had the words translated in to Japanese, yet sill holding all the action and suspense that it would have held in the English version.
The story was about a poor thief in the ancient city of Bagdad, who fell in love with the princess, yet they knew their love was forbidden. Kagome couldn't help but wonder if it was a bad idea to bring Inuyasha to a movie like this, another reminder of what they were risking with this relationship.
Thankfully, the number of action scenes that were always promised in Douglas Fairbanks movies were able to make up for that the plot was lacking. Near the end of the movie, Kagome was satisfied, but still a bit unsettled that the romance plot had hit a bit too close to home.
Once the movie was finished and they walked back out in to the sun that seemed blinding, Inuyasha asked, "So, did you like it?"
Deciding to refrain from mentioning the main plot of the movie, she said, "It was all right, but I think I liked Robin Hood better."
"Keh," Inuyasha said with a slight grin. "Yeah, that one was the best."
They talked about that movie for a while, before they decided it was time to eat dinner. Inuyasha took her to a small noodle restaurant, unlike anything she had been to before. The food was surprisingly good, and Kagome couldn't help but savor it as they ate in silence, before Inuyasha tried to spark some conversation. "So…how is the rehearsals for the festival going?"
Her eyes immediately met his. Why did he bring that up? "They're going well."
"Really?"
"Yes…I don't think I've made one mistake at all recently…I know it all by heart."
"Good." There was another silence as Kagome swirled around the noodle soup with her chopsticks for a moment, feeling uncomfortable. The discomfort was made even worse when Inuyasha said, "I wish I could see it."
You'd…really want to see it, Inuyasha"Yes…that would be nice." She hated this, talking about her career, when she knew it was uncomfortable for both of them. They both knew eventually this relationship in the shadows would end, and talking about her career as a geisha only seemed to make that feeling worse. It was horrible for her to think that even though she could escape and get away to his world, he could never go to hers.
They lived two separate lives, and for now, there was no way for them to ever have anything that would last.
Once Kouga comes back, it will be all over. I will have a few special memories shared with Inuyasha, but…not enough. I don't want to go back to Kouga with regrets and thoughts of what could have been, but I…
"It's late," Inuyasha said, as they came back to the studio just as darkness was starting to fall.
"Yes," she said softly, knowing what must come.
"I guess that means…you have to go back." The hanyou turned away for a moment, and was it Kagome's imagination, or did his face look as if he wanted her to stay for once. Yet for some reason, he was holding himself back.
Trying to get his mind off it, Kagome's eyes caught Toutousai's camera. An idea came to her. "Inuyasha…do you know how to work that?"
Wondering what could have gotten in to her head, he nevertheless answered, "Well…sort of…"
"Do you think you could take a picture of me?"
"What?"
She was never more sure of herself as she spoke, "Inuyasha, Toutousai has been taking countless pictures of me before, as a geisha. But…I've been thinking for a while, that I don't want to be remembered in pictures as only a geisha. I want to be remembered for who I am…what I wanted to be…and that is why I want you to take a picture of me as I am now, so that at least I know that not every picture of me will be of the one side of me that most see."
Though he didn't quite understand her motives, he did sympathize with her on her feeling of not wanting to be shown as a geisha through and through when there were so many layers to her personality. "Uh…okay."
While Inuyasha tinkered with the camera, Kagome lay down on the couch, imitating a pose she had seen the famous actress Clara Bow do in a picture in one of her American magazines. While Japanese women were taught to look stoic, Kagome defied that notion by leaning against the arm of the couch in a sensual manner, with her mouth giving a small, sultry smile.
When Inuyasha looked back up at her, his amber eyes were wide as dinner plates for a moment (something that made Kagome internally smirk) before he turned away to press the flash. It was done.
"What do you think Toutousai is going to say when he sees that?" Inuyasha wondered, as Kagome stood up to join him, still smirking.
"I hope he thinks it's so incredible, that he sends it off to those places that have been asking for my photos," Kagome grinned. "You never know, it might end up in a magazine or someone's private collection someday!"
Inuyasha smirked for a minute, but soon, the smirk slid off his face. "It is late…and you still need to get back to your okiya."
Kagome felt her heart sink in her chest, realizing he wasn't going to ask her to stay no matter how hard she tried. "Yes…that would be best."
She went back upstairs to change, fully prepared to dress once more as a geisha and go back to the okiya. Back to the life she loathed, and away from the man she knew she loved.
He was about to leave her alone again, but Kagome remembered, "Wait, Inuyasha…I can't get these buttons…"
Inuyasha stopped in the doorway. "Oh…" He came back to her, pausing a moment before beginning to help her with the buttons she couldn't reach. Once again, the moment was mesmerizing as his fingers gently undid button by button, undressing her with the tender caress of a lover. Inuyasha knew he could hardly control himself, when her skin was so soft, and inviting. She didn't stop him as he dared to venture more, gently bringing his finger down to lightly touch the soft skin of her back. When her breathing became heavier as he neared the nape of her neck, he could stand it no longer.
Face red, he stopped what he was doing and sputtered, "I…I have to leave—"
Kagome knew her chance, she wasn't going to let him get away now. Just as he passed her, she stuck her foot out, tripping him perfectly. The hanyou who was usually so coordinated, but now was too distracted, lost his balance and fell, landing perfectly on his back upon the futon.
Falling on his back hurt, so when Inuyasha finally opened his eyes after recovering from that small burst of pain, he was hit with another shock. Kagome was now hovering over him on all fours, the dress that he had loosened was now slipping down her shoulders, the tops of her breats peeking out through the neckline.
His face flushed faster than she had ever seen it. "K-Kagome…what are you—"
A finger on his lips halted any more protest. "Don't," she whispered, her voice raw with passion. "Don't you say anything…I need this Inuyasha, and don't you dare tell me that you don't need this too."
His silence was all she needed to confirm what she already knew. Yet, he couldn't give in that easily. "Kagome, are you sure…?"
Though her eyes sparkled in desire, they were serious in their words. "I have never been more sure of anything in my life, Inuyasha…I have been with so many others, men who bought me, but I never chose! Please, I don't care if it is just one night, but please, hold me as the one man I want…" Her lips hovered over his as she nearly felt tears in her eyes. The one man I need…
The kiss was met as Inuyasha pulled her closer, meeting her need for passion. Their kiss was that of lovers desperate for their one night. It wasn't long before the need totally spilled over, and they found themselves entwined in the embrace of love that was old as time.
For Kagome, it was a totally new experience. It wasn't a job or duty. It was making love with the man she had wanted. She wasn't the stiff board she usually was when men took their pleasure, she could only respond and feel everything as she was supposed to feel. Inuyasha made her feel like she was loved when he kissed her, touched her, so when she lay in his arms after their passion had been met, and they were exhausted from each other, she knew he had shown her how much he loved her though his actions, not used her as an object of pleasure.
It was as if her geisha life had never happened, and it was her first time with a man of her choosing. As Kagome lay, wrapped in his arms, blissful, and near slumber, she couldn't help but think, This…is heaven. If I had never met you that day, Inuyasha, I would have never known what this was like—to love and feel this love like a normal woman.
Thank you for this feeling, Inuyasha, even if it won't last…