I went into shock. I didn't even see who won the games, but I knew that it wasn't my tributes. It seemed like everything revolved around my stupid tributes. That's the way I knew them as; the one that pretty much killed himself in the bloodbath and the one that did kill herself with berries. Idiots, the two of them.

When I started thinking like that, I had to remind myself about what my mental health teacher taught me. Think of obvious facts about myself to get my brain off of traumatizing subjects.

My name is Johanna Mason. I am twenty years old. My home is district seven. My mother was killed. My sister was killed. My father will not talk to me. I am the Capitols victor. Their lone victor, but of many of course. I'm mental now. I miss Cherry. Daphne-

I stopped thinking. What did I think of Daphne? I was mad, but she wanted to be with her aunt of course. She knew Cherry better than I knew her. It was sad to think that her aunt was probably murdered because of me. I can't stop murdering people. Is that my problem? But I didn't kill Cherry. Did I? Many questions were going to be left unanswered, of course.

Then I got a perfect idea because of my unanswered questions: I was going to make a home-made gallows. That's right, a hanging post. Life would be better if I was to be with my mother, sister and many friends I have lost, or should I say murdered.

It's a good thing I thought of this hanging idea, because without it I would have to spend most of my earnings I got from murdering kids into the psychiatrist help I obviously need.

I stormed down to the now unused training center muttering unnecessary swears under my breath. I passed Cashmere DaMoine on my way down, and my curses got even more audible.

"I won't touch you today, Jo," She said. I yelled the swears now.

"In fact, with your sense of fashion, I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot poll. I'm sorry, Jo." She smirked mockingly. The words "I'm sorry, Jo" triggered multiple unwanted memories.
I tried to flush my mind out the way my teacher told me to.

My name is Johanna Mason ..

"I don't think you heard me. I'm sorry, Jo."

Cashmere was trying to taunt me. It was working.

I slammed my elbow against her windpipe and left her gagging for air.

"NOBODY SAYS THAT EXCEPT FOR DAPHNE!"

Hot, angry tears spilled over my face. Cashmere's face turned blue. I moved my elbow reluctantly, because I would have liked it to stay there that way so she would suffocate in my arms as my angry, ruthless tears spilled over her limp body.

Listen to me. I'm savage. I cannot think without murderous thoughts running through my brain.

I continued on my way to the training center. I was not about to forget about my promise to kill myself. I needed to know what Daphne was sorry for. I needed to. It was not something I never forgot about nor was I going to let it wash away out of my mind. I made it stick there until I could succeed.

The wood I needed was sitting uselessly in a corner. I gladly picked it up and lugged it back to my flat in the training center. Even though the game didn't start up again for while and they ended just a few weeks ago, I was titled to stay there because of my mental problems. Here, the Capitol wants to make sure I'll be sane to mentor next year.

I found some abandoned rope in Daphne's old room. I sat on the bed where she slept and starred at the desk she wrote in.

I noticed a piece of stationary lying untouched on the desk. I looked at it, and to my surprise (and dismay) there was a letter addressed to myself.

Dear Johanna,

I realize we have come so close. I want you to know I was planning on Nightlock to help me out a little. I'm sorry that I couldn't say a lot before I died, but I just wanted them to show it. Show that I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by killing myself; I love you. I just knew that I was going to get killed on way or another, so it best be by me.

I wonder lots of things; if only you could see me! Now I'm almost positive I am in heaven with your sister Ember you scream about in your dreams. And Tylie, who is Finnick's friend. I know more than you think.

Again, I want you to know that I love you. I never wanted it to end this way, but I wanted to make sure that I didn't play by the Capitol's rules, because I know you wouldn't have wanted me to.

I'm sorry for my flaws. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry, Jo.

We will meet again, where Cherry, Tylie, Ember and I wait for your visit.

Always yours,

Daphne

Tears cascaded onto my cheeks. I read the letter out three times before throwing it aside with anger. I wait for your visit, the letter said. Little did she know that my visit was going to be sooner than planned.

I left Daphne's room and headed to my own. I vowed to myself that I would die in my luxurious woods, but that was far from an option here. I will visit my woods, even if in my dreams.

The noose of rope worked nicely with my post. Soon I was ready.

I realized that I needed someone to send me off, but there was not anyone that came to mind, so I tried to do the honors myself, though it did not work.

I thought of Cashmere. I did not want her to be my last thought. She would be happy to pull the rope tighter on my neck, though she was nearly dead herself. I hoped and prayed that a bitch like her went to hell. I didn't really want to meet her in my perfect world surrounded by the people I once loved and now miss.

I really and honestly didn't need the post; I just wanted an excuse to roam around before my last minutes.

I sat comfortably on my bed and pulled the rope tight. I could feel pricks of rough rope stick into my neck and I began to shed blood.