Disclaimer: Twilight not mine.

A/N: pokes head out from behind hiding spot Ok you guys, here's Chapter 14. I'm going to go ahead and let you get on with it quickly since you are very eager to know what Edward says. And then I'm going to hide again until the end of the chapter since I got threatened to be beaten/slapped/attacked with a platypus, the Love Sac, the Love Shack, Evil dancing monkeys, and angry townsfolk themselves. I understand though, the cliffy was a bit intense...

I really appreciate all the passion you guys have for this story and I beg you to hang in there! I really am loving the response, you guys make me happy every single day! Thank you! Ok, I'm going to retreat now so you can get on with the show... More A/N at the end before you all start rioting right now! ;)

P.S. This chapter is dedicated to SpiderMonkey313 for being my new fanfic best friend! Thanks for the BF Oscar!

GO!

Chapter 14 - Hello Alone

"We had a really great talk last night, actually. I took her down to the river and I think it's the first time we've been honest with each other in a long time."

Why is he telling me this? He never talks about their relationship to me. We never made that statement out loud, but it just wasn't part of our friendship. Why now? Why is he feeding me details now?

"Well that's good..." I said trying hard to think of ways to change the subject quickly.

I didn't have time though. I didn't have time to change the subject at all. I was still thinking when he said it.

"I think I'm going to marry her Bella."

I stopped breathing. I just stopped.

Probably due to the fact my body forgot how to do anything in that one moment. With that one word. My insides went frantic with ways to convince me I hadn't just heard that, my whole body was trying to refuse it, the knot was pounding in my stomach.

"Tonight?!" I blurted out.

"Certainly not. Not any time soon. Just someday. We sort of discussed it last night." He almost sounded bored.

Sort of discussed it? Did he propose? Did he get down on one knee? I imagined him as type of guy who would do that... Did he give her a ring? Did they kiss and look into each other's eyes and hold each other after it happened? All these images flew through my mind in one horrible slide show and I collapsed into the chair on the patio.

"Is there a date?" I hoped I didn't sound as mortified as I felt. I needed to know though.

"No, nothing like that Bella." He didn't say my name right. "It's just a plan. Not an engagement exactly... I mean, I didn't propose or plan it out. I guess we both just know that someday..." He didn't finish his sentence and he didn't need to. Ring or no ring, date or no date it was final enough to break my heart.

"Oh. Well good, I'm happy for you." I lied straight through my teeth, my voice monotone, my mind still racing around in confusion.

Jake and Sam were inside with Rose and Alice as was usual these days, but none of them saw my silent melt down.

How was I supposed to respond to this? I am supposed to be his best friend. Nothing more, no matter what I had let my imagination get away with this past summer. It was so much easier to fool myself when it was just us, joking about our faux wedding, or laying in our fort, or holding hands in the bowl chair...

"Bella I have to go, dinner's ready." Edward cut into my thoughts. His voice was still entirely wrong. Everything in my world was suddenly entirely wrong.

"Ok, bye. Miss you." I nearly whispered. It was all I could think to do.

There was silence for a moment and I thought he was already gone but I just sat there with the phone still up to my head not able to move or think any further.

He wasn't gone yet though.

"You too." And the warmth was back for those 2 tiny words. Then he was gone.

"Nothing's going to be different. Nothing is going to be different. It doesn't have to be different..."

That's what I kept repeating quietly to myself as I sat outside staring at my phone still in my hand.

After Jacob and Sam left that night I went to bed and lost it. I have never had an episode like this. I'd never had a reason to. Rosalie didn't miss a beat. She came into the room and laid next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders and let me cry. Sob. Scream.

I was really letting loose so Alice of course heard me and came in as well. She sat at my feet and rubbed my legs through the comforter as she looked at me with sad eyes.

I explained to them through my sobs the conversation Edward and I had that evening. They both looked shocked when I told them what he said about marrying Tanya.

They were great friends and they immediately protested it and listed off all the reasons why it was a horrible mistake, and it probably wouldn't end up happening, and all the things you are supposed to say to me in this situation. I nodded at them, not believing anything they said but not having strength to fight back. I should have known this was coming. I should have been more prepared.

It was always her.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

After that night I threw myself into my scene with Jake. Any second I could be Clementine and not Isabella was a blessing.

Jacob was amazing in our scene. He really did take me by surprise every time we rehearsed. His character Joel was timid and shy, but in a very charming way, and Jake was flawless every time we rehearsed.

My character, Clementine, is all over the place. But in a good way. She says what she feels and she goes after what she wants in the moment, and she's eccentric and interesting and bold and beautiful. She is not me. And that's the best thing about her. She is a release for me though. She helps me forget about all the shortcomings of plain old Bella whenever I am her. She is loveable and she is someone's first choice. She isn't stuck being the plain best friend. She isn't heartbroken. She isn't wrongly in love with Edward Cullen. She is not me.

It is now October 1st. Exactly 5 days until the Cullens come back.

I spoke to Edward on the phone once since the night he told me about his "discussion" with Tanya. It was 3 days later, I had called him. It probably sounds ridiculous and I almost didn't even tell Rose and Alice that I called him after my extreme breakdown the other night.

The thing is I started to understand all those dumb movies I never thought were realistic, namely My Best Friend's Wedding. Suddenly I understood it completely. They actually walked in on my crying to it one night and I think that's when the real worry started to set in. I just got it. When you are in love with someone, the truest way to tell is when they have promised themselves to someone else, killing part of you in the process, and they are still the only person in the world you want to talk to. Be with. Love.

Love began to take on a whole new meaning to me.

Hopeless.

This particular conversation I had with Edward was only for about 3 minutes but it was better than the conversation that preceded it because he said nothing of his girlfriend/semi fiance/she-devil...or whatever you want to call her.

And, the warmth was back.

"I finished a song today." He said proudly and randomly.

"Congratulations. Play it for me over the phone." I knew he wouldn't but I asked anyway. He had continued to refuse me this one request the whole time he was home.

"You know I won't so why do you keep asking?" He lightly chuckled.

"Because I am hopeless." I meant it in more ways than one. Just calling him and speaking to him at the moment were proof of that. He didn't know it, but I did.

"You will hear it soon enough, it's not like I will forget how to play it when we return," he assured me.

We said goodbye quickly because his dad wanted to play baseball with him and his brothers that afternoon.

Hearing his voice go back to normal was wonderful. It made the knot in my stomach loosen slightly when we hung up, but it did not make me forget what kept it there.

That day, September 27th, was the last time I spoke to Edward Cullen before October 6th.

He never called again. No texts, nothing. I called him for the first few days and left long humorous messages about my boring days without him like I said I would, but they never got returned. I stopped trying after 3 days.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Alice and Rose were around, and we had just called Emmett for his birthday because it was now October 4th.

2 days before they returned. 1 day before they left Forks. Exactly one full week since I have spoken to Edward. The longest we have ever gone without speaking since the day we met.

Jacob and Sam were over again and we were watching Eternal Sunshine so we could get even more into our scene.

While I had my turn on the phone with Emmett during his birthday call I asked what they were doing to celebrate. I felt a little shameful since I was not asking it because I cared about Emmett enjoying his birthday. I was asking it to get information about Edward.

"Just a family dinner at the house. Well, family and some, um, friends." The way he said "friends" told me what I needed to know. It wasn't his blessed DVD collection. She was there. The happy couple was together.

Then the way he said, "I love you sister, I really can't wait to get back to you guys. We'll start having fun again Bellarina," confirmed that the sadness was apparent in my voice. Emmett was trying to comfort me, no doubt having heard from Rose about mine and Edward's sudden distance, and my reaction to it.

Tonight Rose was in Bertha, asleep. Alice was in the bowl chair, curled up with Jasper's hoodie he had on the day he met us that he had left with her. Sam was in one of the chairs at our table, he didn't like the floor. Jake and I were in the Love Sac (which I was very much attached to now, Alice had been right again) and Jake's head was in my lap, my hand subconsciously playing with his hair.

It wasn't a huge ordeal like when Edward would let me touch his hair. Jacob's dark locks were soft and it was a comforting thing for me to do, but it was no match to running my fingers through the amazing bronze strands that had no other equal. It was just a habit that took the place of the finger or foot tapping when we were watching movies.

I had gotten considerably closer to Jacob in a short amount of time through our scene and through my constant need for it's distraction.

I spent all of my spare time with him for the last week because he reminded me of the character I could become to stop being Bella. He made me feel like I didn't have to feel what Bella was feeling, didn't have to worry about what Bella was or wasn't. I don't know if I was using him. I don't think so because I truly enjoyed his company.

And he always gave me hugs in the hallways at school when we were waiting to go into class and I accidentally slipped into memories of Edward and let my face show my pain. He never knew why, but he always comforted me anyway.

The movie ended and Jacob looked up to me and smiled. I smiled back and he said, "Bella we should do something fun tomorrow. We don't have class or rehearsal or anything. Let's get out of Hollywood, you want to?"

"That's a really great idea Jacob!" I was instantly searching my mind for where we should go. "I know! Disneyland!"

The thought struck me like lightening. I love Disneyland! I have only been there once since I moved to LA, way back in 1st semester with a girl that was in my class who loved Disney also.

"I've never been actually," Jake sat up and said to me. "I've always wanted to go though, so it's settled. Disneyland." He stated and made it official.

"Disneyland." I agreed back with a nod.

"Disneyland!" He cheered and hugged me. We laughed at our silliness and then they left with Sam singing "Dippity Do Dah" all the way back to their apartment.

I laid down in bed that night letting misery take over as usual, but then calming down with the thought of my adventure with Jacob tomorrow.

I fell asleep imagining Edward's beautiful smile in front of Sleeping Beauty's castle.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

October 5th. The day the Cullens leave Forks to come back to Hollywood. 1 day before I see them again. One full week and 1 day since I have spoken to Edward. Disneyland Day.

"Jacob, I said no!" I was throwing a slight tantrum as we stood at the ticket window.

"Did you really just stomp your foot?" Jake laughed at me as he ignored me and handed the teller some money.

"Yes! Yes I did! You are not paying for my ticket Jake!" I was really angry. This made no sense to me.

"I told you Bells, it's your late birthday present. I said I was going to do something for you, why not this?" He smiled and me and I glared back. The "A Very Merry Un-Birthday" song from Alice and Wonderland that just happened to come on over the speakers throughout the entrance plaza only seemed to mock me as he stared at me with his sincere face.

"Fine. I'll let you think you are getting away with this, but I will pay you back somehow." I folded my arms and started thinking of ways to pay him back immediately.

"Wow stubborn much?" I heard him chuckle under his breath.

He politely handed me my ticket and I snatched it out of his hand.

"I can tell that this is going to be a really fun day with the awesome way you are reacting to my present." He said sarcastically as he looked at me sideways.

I cracked an apologetic smile and broke down.

"Sorry Jake, I just don't really like people doing things like this for me. It makes me uncomfortable. I really appreciate it though. Thanks." I kind of felt bad now, but I was still going to try to make it up to him somehow.

I managed to leave out the explanation about my emotions going haywire lately at the drop of a pin due to a certain bronze haired "best friend" that I was foolishly in love with who had gone MIA recently and was breaking my heart.

"Good!" He said at my submission to his present. He smiled and it was dropped.

"Ok Jake, are you sure you are ready to experience The Happiest Place on Earth?!" I said excitedly as I linked my arm in his to speed up our walking. I was definitely in a better mood with each step closer to the front gates. You have to love Disneyland.

"If you think I'm ready, I trust you."

"Your life is never going to be the same." I promised him.

We walked through the gates to the magic kingdom and I let myself become overtaken with thoughts of fairy tale worlds where love always wins, and where Edward Cullen didn't effect my emotions.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The day I spent with Jake at Disneyland was amazing. I forgot how happy it truly made me to be there. We had gone at least once every time my family visited Riverside as I grew up and it gave me the same feeling now as it did then.

Jake and I spent the day doing anything and everything we could so he could get the full experience. We went on everything from Splash Mountain to Peter Pan. We ate at my favorite restaurant of all time, it's actually inside of the Pirates of the Carribean ride, and we wore the paper pirate hats that the little kids were supposed to wear throughout our entire meal. We took pictures in the funny bug glasses you had to wear for the 3-D Bug's Life show and made the best bug faces we could come up with. He screamed like a girl again on Space Mountain and the picture of that ride was of me literally turned to him and laughing at his screaming. We watched parades and the best show in the park, Fantasmic. And he didn't judge me when I jumped up and down during the Peter Pan scene with the real ship, or when I cheered Mickey on as he defeated the dragon, or even when I got misty eyed at the end as Mickey Mouse stood on the topmost part of the stage and created magic before our very eyes.

"Are you seriously going to cry?" He put his arm around my shoulders and I put my hands up to my face in awe. He was saying it gently, like he was actually curious.

"No... Maybe. It's just so great, you know? Every time I see the show I know it will turn out ok. I know that Mickey will save the world. It's comforting." I looked at him with my moisture filled eyes and smiled and he nodded that he understood, humoring me.

I really appreciated him in that moment. It was nice to share it with someone who was letting me be me. He wasn't telling me to calm down like my mother always did, even when I was a child. I tried extremely hard not to think about who I wished was sharing this moment with me instead, and I leaned into Jake a little more when the knot tightened and I suddenly felt weak.

I fell asleep on the way home from the extreme amount of physical and emotional rides I had gone through. Jacob and I made our way to the apartments sleepily, him walking me to my door before going to his own.

Our door still wasn't ever locked so I opened it and then turned to hug him goodbye. He was closer to me than I realized and I tripped on his foot and fell backwards into the apartment, landing in a sitting position in my door way.

In our sleepy states it was the funniest thing in the world. He fell to the ground next to me in laughter and we cracked up at my complete lack of grace. When we stopped he got up himself then reached his hand out to help me up as well.

"There's got to be something you can do about that," he smiled at me.

"Sure, I'll just go to the equilibrium doctor and see what they can do to fix me up." I retorted sarcastically. Of course there was nothing I could do about it!

"That's all I ask. You are going to put yourself in real danger one of these days. What would I do without you?" He asked that mostly in a joking manner, but it turned a little serious at the end and I blushed.

"I mean, Joel cannot complete his final project without Clementine, she's the whole scene." He said it quickly, covering the near seriousness of the previous moment.

"Please, Clementine cannot possibly remain stable without Joel, so I need you as much as you need me."

That was clearly the wrong thing to say. His face got really serious and I blushed even more. I didn't mean it in anyway other than in reference to our scene partner relationship.

Yes, I had become really close with Jake in the last month. I had spent so much time with him it would have been impossible not to.

But I knew what it felt like to have someone who I actually needed. I knew who it was that could keep me up at night wondering if they really needed me too. I knew who it was that made me nauseous when I started to realize that they didn't...

With that thought I was done for the night. I literally had to shake my head again to try and get those thoughts cleared out. I needed to get to my bed, the place where I could finally let them take me over and not have to constantly fight against them.

"Bells you don't look too good, I think you need some sleep." Jake said as he watched my face change with my thoughts. He still never asked what always changed my mood so suddenly, he just snapped into caretaker mode.

"Yeah, I think you're right." I hugged him and let him support most of my weight for a second. "Thank you again for going with me today Jacob, it was a really great idea to get out of here for a bit."

He murmured his agreement and then let me go. I closed the door and walked to my room, just falling onto my bed in my clothes, not bothering to change.

I looked over at the clock. 12:33am.

October 6th. The 9th day in a row Edward and I haven't spoken. The day the Cullens finally return.

I climbed under the covers but I couldn't sleep. Surprisingly enough I didn't break down either. There were too many thoughts running through my mind.

I picked up my phone and dialed. I couldn't stand it anymore.

It only took 2 rings.

"Bellarina!"

This time it did cheer me up, a little.

I was stuck in my stubbornness at this point. If Mr. Marriage didn't want to talk to me then I wouldn't waste my time calling him just to have him not pick up or not have the decency to return his supposed best friend's calls.

"Emmett! I didn't wake you up did I?" I knew he wouldn't care if I did, but I would feel a little bad about it.

"No way sister, I'm just in the back of the jeep hanging out. Jasper's driving. Don't you usually bug Edward about getting back faster than humanly possible?" He chuckled at himself and I smiled at how naive he was. He clearly didn't comprehend how much our situation had changed in the past few days. Well, how much Edward had let everything change.

"I actually haven't spoken to Edward in over a week." I know my tone was littered with annoyance.

"Oh...huh. Well do you want me to put him on the phone real quick?" He asked innocently, apparently not catching on to my tone.

"Actually, yes that would be great."

Try to ignore me now Cullen.

I heard movement and then the murmur of Emmett's voice. Then for the first time in 9 whole days:

"Hello?"

It was icy velvet again and truly a question. Emmett hadn't told him it was me.

"Hello. You are on your way back." It wasn't a question like usual. I was just talking to him for the sake of talking to him now.

"Yes we are. We've been driving since yesterday evening so we will be getting in around 8ish." He stated back to me calmly.

"I'm excited to see you."

I sighed to myself in defeat. I couldn't be mad at him. I couldn't hold on to the anger or the annoyance of him blatantly ignoring me. Anyone else and I would have been strong for days on end. But not with Edward.

He always got everything he would let me give to him.

"Me too Bella. It will be good to get back." I could tell he meant it but his voice didn't change. It was something though.

Everything he said was still void of the warmth. I wish I could see his eyes, see the emotions there. He could never keep things out of his eyes like he could his voice.

"Alright, I think I'm going to try to sleep now so I'm going to give the phone back to Emmett." He did sound tired, that's for sure.

"Ok, have good sleep."

"Thank you. You should probably get some too, it's really late." I agreed and then said goodbye.

At least he seemed concerned about me, like he really did still care. Everything would be better tonight when they got home. He was just tired.

For 9 whole days, Bella? No, you cannot chalk all his odd behavior up to fatigue. I was too tired myself, though, of trying to figure out what was wrong with him so that's what I lied to myself over and over again anyway.

"So you heard we'll be home tonight?" Emmett asked me excitedly but softly.

"Yeah, I can't wait. It's been a long month." I tried to talk normally to him, but I was still fighting the feeling Edward's cold voice had left in me.

"Bella what's wrong?"

He asked with so much concern in his voice. And he called me "Bella". Not "sister" or "Bellarina" like usual. He finally heard the anguish in me.

"Is Edward by you?" I asked.

"Not really. He's in the seat in front of me so I can lay down back here, but he's got his iPod on so he can't hear me. Ed?" Emmett tested his brother, but when he got no response I continued.

"Edward has been...different lately Emmett. He stopped calling me all of a sudden over a week ago and we haven't talked again until just now and I know you didn't tell him it was me on the phone when you gave it to him. You know how we are together Em, we're best friends, that is not like us. It's not like him. Something is wrong and it just makes me sad. I miss him. He actually stopped talking to me pretty much when Tanya came back." I admitted it all to him because Emmett was probably well aware of my feelings for Edward. He'd been teasing me about it since the week we all met, after all.

"Oh sister, it will be ok." He sighed like he wanted to say more but he didn't. He simply continued, "Just give him time. We'll be home tonight and things will go back to normal. You should really sleep now so I'm going to let you go."

"Ok, thanks Emmett. Love you. See you soon."

"See you soon Bellarina."

I hung up and smiled at my love for Emmett. He said to give Edward time. I scoffed when I realized that I would.

Emmett said things would go back to normal. I had to believe him. But something was pulling at me, causing the knot in my stomach to tighten even more.

I ignored it and rolled over. They would be home tonight. Things could start to go back to normal tonight.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It is 8:07pm on October 6th. 7 minutes past the time we were expecting them home.

"I mean, can they ever be on time for anything?" Alice was ranting as she paced in our living room.

She was being a bit dramatic, Edward had said "8ish" not 8 exactly. But I knew how she felt. I was sitting on the edge of what I now thought of as Sam's chair. My leg was bouncing up and down rapidly, my mind moving even faster.

At 8:09 we all got the same text at the same time. It was from Emmett.

Home!

Alice squealed and led us to the door where we walked as fast as possible with out actually running to the elevator, rode it down, exited, and rushed into the parking garage.

He must have texted a bit early to give us time because the big red jeep was just being turned off.

The driver side door flew open and Emmett bounded out, scooped Rose up and spun her around as he kissed her. Alice had run over to the passenger side of the jeep and I suppose her and Jasper were having their reunion privately over there.

I was so nervous it was beyond ridiculous. I shouldn't be nervous, this is my family, this is Edward, my best friend, the person I have been dying to see for 33 days.

But the knot was the worst it had ever, ever been in all 33 days. I was sort of frozen in place, about 6 feet away from the jeep.

Emmett let Rosalie go and ran over to me next before I could think or move any closer.

I hugged him as tight as I could, knowing I would never match his strong squeeze. It felt so good to be hugging my big brother again.

"Bellarina! We are home!" He was so happy about it, it actually gave me hope and confidence.

"I know you are! It's a good day!" I had a real smile on now and I was feeling real happiness.

He set me down and Jasper was right behind me waiting for his turn. I hugged him tightly too and felt so much happier in that embrace as well. He rubbed my back in a very reassuring manner. The way you would do to someone who just experienced a tragedy. He was comforting me.

When I pulled away from Jasper I noticed Edward had gotten out of the jeep. The sight of him again took my breath away, even though it was just his back.

He was side hugging Alice as she went on and on about a shirt she bought for him.

He was digging around in the back of the jeep trying to pull his bag out. Once it was released he flung it over his shoulder and turned around and faced me. I looked in his eyes for the first time in one month and 3 days.

Something was more than wrong. His eyes were wrong. They were dark and they were distant. His body language was wrong. His shoulders were slumped and his head was held a little lower than usual. And he looked tired in a way.

He was still gorgeous of course. If you hadn't known him before, or hadn't studied and memorized every detail about him as I had, you would have been stunned. I still found things to oggle, but I was overcome with sadness at the amount of things that were just wrong.

"Bella!" He smiled a ghost of my favorite crooked smile and reached his free arm out to me as he walked over.

His walk was wrong.

"Hey," was all I could get out as I sincerely smiled back at him.

He brought me into an embrace, but it was wrong too. It was only half the hug he usually gave me.

I leaned into him to try and fix it. He smelled the same at least. I took in the scent I had been forcing myself to remember every day and realized I had done a poor job recreating it in my memory.

It was the only thing about him that wasn't changed somehow.

He let go and kept walking to the elevator, alone, not even looking back at anyone. Not saying anything more. He just walked away.

I turned back to the others and just stared. All 4 of them stared back silently at me, having watched Edward walk away alone. None of them had any help for me.

I didn't cry and I didn't yell. I didn't do anything. I went completely numb.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I retreated to my apartment alone, just as Edward had. Clearly things were going to remain different from the way he treated me.

The numbness led me through the living room and into the bedroom. I had imagined the reunion so much differently than that. Especially after 9 days of not talking at all. Tanya or no Tanya we should be able to still be friends. We always had before.

Time didn't matter any more. Days didn't matter any more. I threw my cell phone on my bed and then myself next to it. Or on top of it. Or whatever. It didn't matter any more.

I had been laying face down on my bed for a while when the door opened and someone came inside.

"Bells?" Rosalie was using her careful voice.

"Hmm?" I just grunted into the pillow.

"Do you want some dinner? We are thinking pizza." She paused and then extra carefully added, "Edward went to the practice space, so it just us and Em and Jasper."

I thought about it for a second. I was hungry. Or at least I should be. Either way...

"Ok, I'm in." I said. I pulled myself up and followed her into the living room.

We put on sweaters and walked to the little pizza place a few blocks down. I didn't have any input in the order. I wouldn't really taste it anyway.

Rose and Alice talked about anything and everything to try to get me to open up. They were trying to get me to tell Emmett and Jasper about my scene with Jake, or Sam's ET impersonation, or the movies we watched while they were away.

I almost felt bad for them. I knew all their efforts were being wasted.

We got back to our apartment and ate as we watched TV.

"I'm going to take a shower." I announced as I realized that it was something I should probably do before bed.

"Bella don't you want some more pizza?" Alice asked with her little careful voice.

"Um, not really. I'm kind of full." I lied.

Well, I knew I wasn't hungry. So I must be full.

"You only took 2 bites Bell," Rose said still being so damn careful. Like their words were going to break me further.

"Oh," is all I said. I just walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

The shower passed and I was in my pajamas. I went out into the living room and sat in the Love Sac just to not be in my room anymore.

No one was home. Excellent.

I sighed and grabbed my book off the table.

I read for a bit and then just let the book drop out of my hands and to the floor when I realized I wasn't really reading at all. I knew the story by heart anyway. Why was I reading something that I already knew? What is wrong with me? Why do I stay interested in things that will not ever change? Why...

But my thoughts were interrupted by Alice walking in the door with Rose.

"Hey Bells! You're still awake!" Alice was speaking in a new voice now, it was excited and careful. How creative.

"Is that an accomplishment?" I asked. I didn't say it mean, I was not mad at anyone. I said it as a joke and I was pleased when they chuckled and I knew it had come out as I intended.

"Well it is 12:30 in the morning." Rosalie replied, releasing a little bit of caution and sounding more like herself.

"Oh. I was reading."

They both glanced from my empty hands to the book that was lying on the floor, out of my reach, and then back at me with sad eyes.

Then they looked at each other and nodded, making some silent agreement right in front of me. They came over and sat on either side of me, the Love Sac providing more than enough room for the 3 of us. Alice turned and faced me.

"Bella, we know you are having a hard time because of how Edward is behaving." She paused after she said his name. She wasn't using her careful voice anymore though, she was using her regular friendly one, but they were both starting at me, waiting for me to physically react to his name or something.

I was too numb for that. They only thing that reacted was the silent contraction of the knot inside of me. On the surface I just stared back at her until I found my voice.

"Yeah I think everyone except Edward knows I'm having a "hard time". Or at least if he knows he doesn't seem to care anymore. I don't know if he's aware of it or why he's making it this way , however, because he won't talk to me about it. Or hardly anything for that matter!" I was breathing faster now. The numbness wasn't gone, I think I just felt it loosening. So I stopped talking.

Then out of nowhere Alice just said it.

"Bella, Edward and Tanya broke up."

Numbness gone.

Ok so I couldn't resist doing it again! But it's better this time right? Are you happier? You have to be.

Oh the surprises I have in store for you guys! We are nowhere near finished here people - hehe

So I don't even know if I will be able to update tomorrow because I will indeed be at comic con stalking and hopefully sexually harassing Robert Pattinson himself! YAY! I may be in jail for a few days because of it, but I've come to terms with that. My friends are already collecting bail ;)

I will try my hardest to update tomorrow sometime if the demand is high enough, I don't want to leave you guys hanging. Or get threatened again haha

Review my friends! I LOVE YOU ALL!