Better than myself Part 14

(Sequel to As a Man)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm not making any money, and all the wonderful characters belong to the lovely JE. I would borrow Ranger for awhile, though.

Mary Lou's POV

Stephanie hasn't called me back; I know she is holed up in Rangeman trying to avoid reporters and all of the 'Burg gossip. I just wish she would to let me know how she is doing. I might not understand or agree with all of her choices, but she will always be my best friend.

I never thought Joe Morelli deserved her, I don't understand why the entire neighborhood expected them to get married. He was still a Morelli man, with all that entails. He might have talked a good game and filled out a nice pair of jeans, but he still was a lying, cheating Morelli man. I never could figure out why or how she ended up with him. He never treated her well, from the time we were kids. The topper for me was how he fucked her (I know crude, but that is what he did), broadcasted it to the entire world, and then left without a second glance. Leaving her at the very least with a horrible reputation, that she could not shake for the rest of high school. But then when she had the miscarriage, we found out everything he left her with.

Even with his misdeeds, he was charming enough to sweet talk his way back into her bed. I know it is because she never thought that she deserved to be treated with respect and she doesn't have the self confidence to demand it. Her mother had her almost convinced that no other man would ever want her. I don't understand how she believed that, look at her, she is beautiful. Thank God she fell for Ranger; he made her want more, I so hope he can help her see that she is so much better than she thinks she is.

I hear a knock at my back door; I wonder who would be back there? I look out and see Stephanie standing there. I wonder why she is in the back and not the front, I open the door and she rushes in, out of breath. I ask her what is wrong; she puts up one finger and bends over gasping for air. She pants, that she just ran out of a meeting with Tank and Ranger. Literally it seems. She ran and came straight to me; she is starting to look a little frantic.

Good timing, Lenny and the kids are out until dinner time, I have time to talk and maybe calm her down. God knows that could be a full time job. Love her, but sometimes she is just so, so, Stephanie, that I want to grab her and shake her, or maybe slip her something, to mellow her out a little. I grab some lemonade and sit her down. This is not an ice cream situation, but lemonade always seems to have enough sugar to calm her down. (Note to Ranger) She takes a long drink and gets right to the point.

"Tank and Ranger want to me start and run a group home or safe house for kids! To come up with the idea, location, name and find the staff! Everything with Ranger's money. A lot of money! I blow up cars, I can't do anything like that, I can't do anything!"

As she puts her head down on the table, she starts breathing like she is trying to keep from crying. I hate that she thinks so little of herself. If I could have just five minutes alone with Helen Plum, I would tell her what I think of her parenting. She should write a book "How to screw up your kids, for dummies". Because if she was going for the best way to screw up your kids, she would at least win an honorable mention. And don't think that Val is perfect, she looks like she is, but I know the truth. Val thinks all she can be is a wife and a mother. Not that that is a bad thing, but I chose this life, I know there are other things I can do and I don't need to keep having babies to keep myself feeling useful. And poor Steph, because she isn't following the mold, she thinks she is a failure.

"Stephanie Plum, look at me. Okay, don't look, but you need to listen. Ranger is a smart, successful businessman. He obviously isn't hurting for money, people don't get that way for making bad decisions. Do you think he would give you money, put his name on something, just to watch it and you fail?"

She shakes her head, but still doesn't look up. "Don't you have a business degree? Weren't you at the top of your class? Don't you think Ranger knows all this?"

She nods again and her breathing has calmed down. "I bet you have a ton of ideas, if I know you, you have notebooks full of great ideas."

She finally looks up, "I had all of these amazing ideas, when I thought I was just going to help get it started and turn it over to someone else to run. But he wants me to be in charge, the same way he is in charge of Rangeman. I can't be in charge, I am not even in charge of my life."

"Steph, honey, from what I hear, you have been taking control of your life, you stood up to Lula and Connie, you publicly dumped Joe, you walked out on your mother and amazingly you gave up your apartment. By doing all of these things you are taking charge. I think this sounds like a real career for you, something you have talked about since we were kids. And who better to work on it with than the person you love."

"I am taking charge aren't I? I am trying to build my own life. I chose Ranger, regardless of what anyone says. I did go to school because I wanted to do something and this will be something meaningful. Mar, I can do this can't I? It isn't like I would be out there alone, I would have partners for help and advice. I can do this."

She starts smiling, then her expression changes to one of dread. "SHIT! I ran out on Ranger, I said I wouldn't give into the flight part of my fight or flight mode and I did it!"

Banging her head on the table again, as the door bell rings. It's Ranger, I wonder how they do that, she thought of him, the exact time he showed up. It is sweet, in a creepy way. Now, I know I am a happily married woman and he is in love with my best friend, but that man is sex on a stick. He asks if he can come in, I notice that he doesn't ask if she is here. He just knows, Steph says he always knows. He struts over to her (because the man doesn't just walk) and puts his hand on the back of her neck. "Babe"

I can't tell from that one word if he is angry or amused. She looks at him and starts to apologize. He puts a finger on her lips and shakes his head, "Not needed, I know old habits die hard, just try not to do it during meetings anymore." He gives her a set of keys and says that there is a car waiting for her when she is ready to come home. Not demanding that she come with him now, he doesn't look mad or raise his voice. He leaves with a reminder of dinner at 6:30 and that she wouldn't want to miss it, because he is eating carbs today. They both chuckle at what must be a private joke. He kisses her, nods at me and like smoke he is gone. Oh, I know I just thought this, but that man is a walking orgasm.

I sit back down, "Okay, I have you for at least two more hours. Fill me in on what's been going on, I know the stories I have heard, second hand I might add, have been wrong."

We start talking about Lula and her mom and what it felt like to leave her apartment behind. I love this girl; I will miss her every day when she leaves Trenton. She hasn't said, but to have the life and the marriage (you can see in their eyes that they are going to get married one day) that she deserves, they will have to go. No one will ever just let them live here.

A/N: I am at my muse's whim, I am really enjoying this process and I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. A little bit of light before more pain. Always love your reviews and suggestions, keep them coming.