The word 'wrong' can be used loosely. It can mean something that is incorrect, like a question on a test. But then again, it can also mean that something isn't moral. wrong,sinful, bad. They all go together. And what does it mean to be the second kind of wrong? And not be able to control the reason why?To be told what you're going to burn in hell for something that you can't even control.

It would suck, wouldn't it?

"Roy..." Ed shivered again. I pulled my hands away from him and shook my head. He came closer, I felt his hands gripping tighter on me. I pushed him away. Looking up, I saw hurt in his eyes.

"Ed, I'm sorry, I can't." I sat down on the creaky bed, refusing to look up at him. He sat down beside me.

"But why? Don't you love me?" Ed pleaded. Those last four words cut into my heart. Turning around to face him, I took both of his hands in mine. I could feel the warmth of his skin contrast with the coolness of the metal of his automail.

"I do, Ed. I love you so much." Ed didn't look like he believed me.

"Then why don't you show it?" He said angrily, getting up and going into the bathroom to collect his clothes.

"Because if people knew-" I began, but Ed cut me off, his voice rising.

"Because you don't want people to know that you're gay!" He yelled. Gay. I felt like I'd been slapped in the face. I knew that it was true, but those three letters just sounded so harsh when they were put together like that. I'd been living in Amestris all my life, and I'd only ever heard that word used as an insult. Kids would yell it at each other from across the street as if it was just another word.

"That's not true!" My voice rising too now. Even as I said it, I knew it was a bunch of crap.

"It is! Because the almighty Colonel Asshole can't stand it if anyone thinks little of him!" He was almost yelling now. He stood in front of me, fully dressed and shaking a little with rage.

"Ed, that's bullshit and you know it! I love you, and I-"

"But that's the thing. You don't. Not really. If you really loved me, then why did you want neither of us to tell another soul about our relationship?" He asked, looking at me with nothing but disappointment in his eyes. I opened my mouth to respond, but no words would come out.

"Goodbye, Roy." Ed said, and walked towards the door.

"Ed, wait!" I called, but he'd already left.

I put my head in my hands. He was right. But what was I supposed to do? He didn't know. He was young. He hadn't seen what they'd done to homosexuals, or how people on the street would look at them. Like they were scum. I didn't even want to think how they would treat me, a gay man in love with a boy nearly half his age. Was I supposed to go prancing down the streets of Amestris waving a rainbow flag?

But how could I give Ed up?

I got up, and headed outside. I needed air. I left the inn and walked through the twisting streets and small alleys. I climbed up a fire escape and sat down on the roof of a building overlooking the streets below.

I looked over the edge and saw a man, who couldn't have been more than five years older than me. He was bent down, talking to a little girl. He held out his hand to her. It looked like he was giving her something, a piece of candy? She was just about to take it when a woman who was clearly her mother came rushing out of a nearby store to pull her away, sheltering the girl with her body as if the man would attack them both at that second. Even from six stories up, I could feel her sharp cold glare hit me. Was that how the world would see me? As... some kind of a monster that they had to protect their children from?

Walking down the street would be hard enough, let alone being führer. It was either that, or give up on Ed. I couldn't bring myself to do either.

Hey, slow it down
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Yeah, I'm afraid
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Whether I gave up on Ed or not, I knew that either I'd hate myself. For not loving him enough, or for loving him too much. I sat down, letting my legs hang over the edge of the building. I heard footsteps and saw someone coming to sit down beside me out of the corer of my eye.

"Hey." It was Ed. I didn't look up. I din't want to see what he thought of me right now. If he hated me for what I couldn't do.

"Hey." I said back.

"Look, I said some things which went a bit too far and-" He began. I looked up at him. He looked sorry enough. But he still hated the fact that I blankly refused to come out of the closet

"Let's not pretend, Ed. I know that coming out of the closet means giving up my dream. As much as I love you, I don't think I can do that." He looked away, jumping to conclusions. "But that doesn't mean I'm giving up."

"What?" Was all Ed could say.

There might have been a time
When I would give myself away
(Ooh) Once upon a time
I didn't give a damn
But now here we are
So whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

"Ed, when I was in the academy, there was a guy in my dorm. He was great, so much fun to be around. Everyone liked him. And then they found out he was..." the next word caught painfully in my throat. "that he was gay. And they took him to the training ground and beat him. In front of everyone. He screamed and begged for mercy, but they didn't stop. And when the creaming finally did stop, they hung the body up where everyone could see it." My voice shook so badly it was barely audible. "I was there, Ed. I saw it."

"But it's not that extreme any more." Ed reasoned.

"Old habits die hard Ed. It's going to be pretty hard for us to change those opinions." I said.

"Since when was that a reason to give up?" Ed smiled. I couldn't help myself. I smiled back.

Just don't give up
I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in
I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

"Ed?" I asked, looking over the edge of the building again

"Yeah?"

"Why do you love me"

Yeah, it's plain to see
That baby you're beautiful
And there's nothing wrong with you
It's me, I'm a freak
But thanks for lovin' me
Cause you're doing it perfectly

"What?"

"Why do you love me? I'm almost twice your age, and I admit I can be a dick at times. So why are you wasting your time?" I asked.

"Roy, I love the side of you that nobody else can see. I love the fact that you're brave and smart and you never go back on your morals. I love everything about you, and I'm not ready to give that up."

"Me either. Ed, I promise that one day, we won't be hated. And then we'll take a walk in the park, hand in hand, without having to give a fuck who sees us."

There might have been a time
When I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try but I think
You could save my life

I am SO very sorry for the long wait, but I had a ton of homework and mental issues to deal with this week. (My depression is starting to come back. Nothing says fun like suicide!*sarcastic cheer*) But it's finally here, so enjoy! The lyrics are from Whataya want from me by Adam Lambert. That guy is my second favourite gay musician ever. Anyways, I'm getting REALLY sidetracked.

Enjoy the story. I love you all. PLEASE REVIEW! CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM PLEASE!