A/N: First, thank you for the reviews, as always I loved each one of them. You guys are so nice. Second, I am sorry about the wait on the update. I have to admit I lost my mojo for a minute. I think I found it though. On a similar note, I want to let you all know this is the second to last chapter. So, you all have one more after this. Oh and there is a little time jump in this chapter. I hope you enjoy…

Chapter Fourteen: You Can Do Better Than Me

I have to face the truth

That no one could ever look at me like you do

Like I'm something worth holding on to

House shrugged on his motorcycle jacket, grabbed his keys and wallet, and was just about to head out the door of his office with a sense of purpose he was feeling more and more these days. If having a spring in his step was remotely possible, House thought he might try it. This whole thing between him and Cuddy (And thing is exactly what House called it, still stubbornly refusing to label it further) had been going on for almost a month now and he had yet to permanently screw it up.

Yeah of course, he was still a miserable bastard but now he was a miserable bastard with something to look forward to. He did not mind the change nearly as much as he thought he might. Cuddy seemed to be fitting into his life quite nicely. They spent their nights together when convenient, which turned out to be most nights. Their chemistry was off the rails and Cuddy had not been lying when she had told him all that time ago that she liked sex. Sure, they both had other obligations that would occasionally get in the way. He had Wilson, Cuddy had the kid, and they both had work but thus far, it had been working out remarkably well between them.

Even the kid wasn't as hard to deal with as he thought she might be. Most of the time he was with Cuddy Rachel was sleeping. When she was not, she was just a rather run of the mill baby gurgling, giggling, and needing to changed, all of which Cuddy efficiently took care of and took pride in. The little munchkin was nothing to be worked up about, and he really did not mind her all that much. The only real annoyances Rachel had brought were House having to spend most of his non work time at Cuddy's instead of his own place, and the occasional set of blue balls when the little set of lungs had planned her wailing at the most inopportune of times. He was sure when she got older more complications would arise, but not big on future planning, he figured he would deal with that then.

Tonight House had a rather perfect evening planned. He was going to go home, have a scotch, play his piano, and catch up on the Prescription Passion he had missed today do to a pesky dying patient. Then when he knew Cuddy would be home and had taken care of all her responsibilities (Rachel), he would call her. Then hop on his bike to her place and let nature take its course. The thought of nature doing just that left House with a rather vivid and entirely pleasant vision of Cuddy's naked body and exactly what he would be doing to it tonight. Quickly followed by an even more pleasant image of what she would be doing to him, if he played his cards right.

"We still on for tonight?" Wilson asked as he made his way into House's office oblivious to House's current headspace.

"What?" House asked, as he was jarred from his dirty Cuddy thoughts still by his desk with his keys in hand.

"Thirsty Thursdays, beer, poker, general debauchery. It is the first Thursday of the month and we have been doing it for years now. Ring any bells?" Wilson asked.

"Oh that…"

"You are not by any chance going to bail on me to hang out with Cuddy are you?" Wilson asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Wilson had purposely come in right as House was leaving to remind him, knowing he had probably forgotten. He was rather looking forward to giving House a little grief about forgetting, after all the times House had gone ape shit about spending time with him when Wilson had a significant other. Now House was the one wrapped up in a new relationship (which is what it was, no matter how many times House half-heartedly protested it wasn't to Wilson.) with Cuddy. Wilson could not be happier for his friend but when House hadn't been bothering him all day about Thirsty Thursdays like he usually did, he saw a perfect opportunity for a little retroactive pay back.

"Well, she does know how to work it." House flippantly replied trying to play off that he had not remembered.

House had honestly completely forgotten about his standing date with Wilson, which was not like him. He remembered everything. It was both a blessing and a curse. He briefly thought maybe he had been right all these years and Cuddy really was a witch and had used her girly parts to somehow hypnotize him. The thought of going to Cuddy's sounded infinitely more appealing to House than drinking and poker with his best friend. Yes, House decided Cuddy had definitely used some kind of black magic on him.

"Every relationship I have ever been in since I have known you I have been subjected to your insanity. Your sabotage, your planning, your plotting. All with one goal in your mind, to make sure we still hang out. Now you have a girl in the picture and look who is ditching out on me. I believe they call this irony." Wilson smugly observed.

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty? You know I don't do that."

"No, I am amusedly pointing out how the tables have turned. You are so whipped. Let me guess quiet night in, and then tomorrow morning a day trip with the missus and the kiddie to Bed Bath and Beyond." Wilson lightly teased.

Oh God. Wilson was right House thought. He was not to far off from becoming that guy. There was no way in hell he could ditch out on Wilson tonight, now it was a matter of his male pride. Sure, he had told Cuddy he would call her tonight but she was just going to have to get over it. The thought never crossed House's mind that he could simply call her and tell her plans had changed.

"Thirsty Thursdays in on. Be at my place with booze and food at seven." House declared.

"House, I just like being able to give you a little shit. Go hang out with Cuddy. I don't care. Though not as catchy of a title we can get drunk any day of the week." Wilson immediately backed down.

Wilson had never seen his friend happier. He was still House of course, and he tried to hide his newfound contentedness any chance he got, but Wilson knew better. House was taking less Vicodin. His fellows had that murderous look in their eyes a lot less. Wilson had even been able to go on a few dates with that clinic nurse without getting any crap about it from House. Cuddy was good for House plain and simple just as Wilson always thought she would be.

The only slightly annoying thing was House's careful watch on Wilson when it came to Cuddy. He swore anytime he had to speak with Cuddy for more than five minutes House would pop up. Or, as Wilson now referred to the little out of nowhere appearances, Crouching Tiger, Hidden House. However, despite the limited time he was alone with Cuddy he could see she was happy too. He really did not want House to screw anything up over something stupid.

"No, be prepared to pass out in your own sick tonight, and get your face magic markered." House promised.

"That does sound delightful but seriously House…" Wilson began.

"Seriously Wilson, bring cash. I am going to bleed you dry with my mad poker skills." House added.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to screw up any plans you had with Cuddy." Wilson's concern practically dripped off him.

"And I don't know how many more ways I can tell you I don't want to talk about this with you. Maybe, that is what I will magic marker on your face tonight." House countered in a voice that let Wilson know there would be no changing his mind.

"Fine, I will be there, but I am hiding all your permanent markers." Wilson conceded.

"Yeah, okay we will see how that works out for you." House quipped.

"House are you sure?" Wilson once again asked.

"I swear to God, Wilson if you don't leave my office and head to the liquor store right now my cane will be a bat and your body the piñata of that I am extremely sure." House threatened.

"Fine, I hope you know what you are doing. See you tonight." Wilson said before leaving House alone.

House was damn drunk and getting more and more bored now that his drinking buddy was incapacitated. It was not a good combination. He looked over at Wilson sprawled on his couch completely passed out. House had just finished giving an unconscious Wilson a very girly tramp stamp with a sharpie that was filled with hearts, flowers, and Wilson's new nickname Mildred. House snickered to himself as he looked at his work again. He was hoping it would be a very long time before Wilson discovered it on himself preferably, when someone else had to point it out to him like that blonde nurse he was sure Wilson was screwing.

House was about to start work on Wilson's face but pulled back before he started. If Wilson came to work tomorrow with a dick on his face, Cuddy wouldn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out who the culprit was. Cuddy was going to be mad enough at him for blowing her off tonight without adding a face tattoo on Wilson to his list of offenses. It was sadly a more careful line House had to walk now. Knowing how to anger her just enough that it turned them both on, but not so much that she denied him permission to her love rug.

Cuddy. Now she would make him a lot less bored. If it was between a slumber party with Wilson, or one with Cuddy, well of course Cuddy won hands down. House stumbled around until he found his cell phone and pressed two on his speed dial anxiously awaiting the voice on the other end.

"Hello…" Cuddy groggily greeted after the fourth ring of her cell phone.

"Cuddy…" House dragged out her name in what he thought was a rather alluring manner.

"Oh god, House." Cuddy grumbled annoyed now that she was more fully alert.

"I could make you say that in a much more pleasant tone if you come pick me up from my place." House proposed.

"You're drunk." Cuddy stated in a monotone voice.

"You have nice boobs. We done stating the obvious now?" House quickly quipped.

"You are such a jerk. It is the middle of the night. I mean I am not surprised in the least bit, but you are seriously an ass." Cuddy admonished then for the first time she looked down at her cell phone's screen before adding in an even more aggravated tone, "and when exactly did you steal my phone and change you ID to Dr. Love?"

"I changed it this morning while you were feeding tiny." House laughed with his drunkenness making the tone extra annoying. "You weren't thinking I was an ass last night. More like desperately wanting my ass while you eagerly bounced up and down on my …"

"House, you could have had that tonight, but you never called because once again you are a jerk." Cuddy cut him off as she tried to sound stern but it came off rather harmless.

She had actually known where House was most of the night. A guilty Wilson had called her earlier that night drunk from House's bathroom letting her know that he and House were hanging out just in case House had not mentioned it, which of course he had not. The image she had of Wilson secretly calling her was so ridiculous she had a hard time holding in her laughter while on the phone with him.

Cuddy knew what she was getting into when she started dating House and she knew something like him always calling her when he said he would, or being where he said he would be was a complete pipe dream. She was not mad. She had a nice evening with her kid, and made an early night of it for the first time in awhile. However, House drunk dialing her in the middle of the night was a different story that was irritating.

"Blame Wilson, he got all bro's before hoes on me." House tried to pass off the blame.

"Please tell me Wilson is not next you listening to your pathetic attempts at dirty talk…" Cuddy groaned rubbing her temple with her free hand as she spoke.

"Next to me, yes. Listening to my awesome recap of last night, not so much. Passed out in a pile of his own drool, absolutely." House elaborated.

"You paint quite a picture. I am hanging up now." Cuddy warned.

"Great so you will be here in like what fifteen minutes." House hopefully asked.

"Yeah, let me go wake up my peacefully sleeping baby. So I can pick up your drunk ass because what you want sex. That sounds like something I am going to do." Cuddy sarcastically agreed.

"I am happy to see you have your priorities straight. Come on Cuddy come get me. Don't you want a nice warm body in bed next to you giving you the kind of injection only Dr. Love can?" House tried to entice.

"There is no way in hell I am coming to get you. If you are lonely and need a warm body, go cuddle with your bro Wilson." Cuddy suggested.

"You told me to call you…" House started.

"I told you to call me last night. It is now officially the next morning. It is one in the damn morning House and if you think I am coming to get you, you are Gary Busey level crazy." Cuddy scolded.

"Fine, I will drive there myself." House defiantly declared. He wanted Cuddy and he was not going to be deterred.

"If you drive here drunk take me seriously when I say you are never getting sex from me again. If you manage to make it here alive it won't be for long because I will kill you." Cuddy threatened her tone deadly serious.

"I can't win with you. You won't come get me even though I feel like I am showing a great sense of responsibility in calling you to be my designated driver. You threaten to kill me and cut off the nookie if I go with the irresponsibility of driving drunk. You know it is almost as if you don't want me over there."

"It is not almost like it, it is like it. Do not come over. Sleep this off. I will see you in the morning." Cuddy snapped her phone shut. She threw the cell haphazardly on to her nightstand before curling up in her pillow, and trying to go back to sleep. Cuddy knew the whole time that this probably was not the end of her encounters with House for the night but she could hope.

"She hung up on me. Like she can get rid of me that easily." House looked over at a passed out Wilson to say. House then began to punch in another number into his cell phone. "Yes, I need a cab…"

Half an hour later just as Cuddy was finally hitting that precious REM stage of sleep the shrill ring of her cell phone hit her ears and she was once again awake. She knew it would be House again and had no desire to deal with him. She checked the caller ID to be sure, and as soon as she saw stupid Dr. Love light up her LCD screen she hit the ignore button. She made a mental note to change his ID from Dr. Love to Asshat first thing in the morning.

She put her cell phone on silent before turning over and snuggling back into bed. That is when she heard a knock at her front door and immediately knew whether she wanted to or not she was going to have to deal with House. If he had driven himself here, she truly was going to murder him. She got out of the covers scurrying to the door as quickly as possible in her rather skimpy nightwear hoping to get to it before the noise woke her daughter up.

"Please tell me you didn't drive here House." Cuddy tensely asked as she opened her front door.

"Nope, Duncan took me." House answered a drunken grin on his face.

"Who's Duncan?"

"The cool Scottish cab driver who sounded like the lucky charms guy who came and picked me up because you are mean and evil and wouldn't." House further explained with an exaggerated pout on his face.

"You should probably go ahead and call Duncan back because this mean and evil woman has no desire to let your drunken jerky ass in her home." Cuddy mumbled as she rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes.

"But Cuddy, I am cold." House returned exaggeratedly shivering, his voice a few octaves higher than Cuddy wanted it to be.

"Fine, you can come in if you promise to shut up. Between the knocking and your loud voice, I am surprised Rachel isn't howling." Cuddy relented mostly for the sake of her daughter getting a good nights rest.

She knew House and knew if she did not let him inside, he would make a scene of epic proportions. Cuddy opened the door wider and allowed House to pass through before closing the door behind him. They made their way into her living room before they started an unintentional staring contest. House looked Cuddy up and down admiring her in her silky tank and matching form-fitting boy shorts so happy he was here and trying to assess the best way to get her naked.

Meanwhile, Cuddy was checking him out as well, but with a completely different goal in mind. She was trying to determine how drunk he really was and how much was for show knowing House could handle his liquor. His bloodshot eyes, unintentional goofy grin, and the extra gait in his step told her all she needed to know. House was plastered. She watched as House placed his cane on her couch before he reached out to her, took both of his hands and rubbed them lightly up and down the sides of her torso.

"You make the best pajama choices. You're beautiful." House lowly growled the alcohol making the compliment come easy to him.

"You just called me beautiful without mentioning my ass, chest, or naked body. You are so drunk." Cuddy laughed her amusement clear.

Suddenly, any anger Cuddy had with him for waking her up in the middle of the night was gone, replaced by a weird sense of affection for the man in front of her. House was a stubborn dumb ass, but now he was her stubborn dumb ass. In addition, Cuddy figured out a long time ago that being angry with or trying to argue with anyone this drunk was futile, especially House.

House continued his gentle caresses along her body as he spoke, "I like to keep you on your toes."

"Come on." Cuddy said as she reached out for his hand. "Let's go to bed."

"Let's," House lecherously returned as he happily followed her to her room too drunk to question her change in mood.

They made it to her room without fuss and Cuddy slid under the covers and turned on her side to go to sleep hoping House would do the same. Getting his clothes off was a bit more of a chore than normal, but eventually he stripped down to his boxers. He slid under the covers into Cuddy's bed and made a beeline for her body.

"House it is late, go to sleep." Cuddy mumbled as she felt House press himself against her back. Instead of listening to her request, his hand found her nipple from the outside of her tank and he began lightly playing with the bud until it rose to attention.

"Come on, Cuddy…" House said his voice almost pleading as his hand went down further to give the same attention to her other breast.

"You're drunk." Cuddy lightly protested. "And I am still mad at the multiple wake up calls."

House might be drunk, but he could tell by Cuddy's husky tone that he had her. Her protesting was completely for show.

"So, take advantage of me." House requested as his hand left her breast and slowly slipped down her body past the elastic band of her shorts.

"What the hell, I am up. Plus, you owe me for tonight." Cuddy quickly turned over to face him, House's ministrations having left her feeling frisky.

"That is the spirit." House agreed as their lips hungrily connected. House turned on to his back pulling Cuddy on top of him as he went.

"You taste like scotch." Cuddy whispered into his lips as she stretched her body on top of his. "I am not doing this for you, and if you pull another stunt like this…"

"I love it when you threaten me. Now shut up and let me repay you." House interrupted before going back at her mouth kissing her senseless while simultaneously tugging off her bottoms. No more words were needed that night as House made it up to her, twice.

Song Credit: You Can Do Better Than Me, Death Cab for Cutie

Next Up: The End… If you read it, please review it. =)