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Remember, words in italics mean they are speaking the Saxon language.
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Chapter 14
~X~
Fili gave a sigh of relief when he was at last out of the longhouse and away from the judgmental eyes of his mother…and his Uncle. He loved them both, and respected them highly, but sometimes he felt like they expected too much from him. Kili could do whatever he wanted, go wherever he wanted, and no one said a word. But if he stepped out of line even a little bit, he never heard the end of it.
Yes, he was the Jarl's heir, and he was expected to hold to a certain standard, but when was the last time he had ever done anything simply for himself? He honestly couldn't remember! Perhaps that was why he had chosen to buy Kara back…because it was what he wanted. It was something foolish, something that held no solid reason. Fili simply wanted her…enough said.
"Where are we going?" Kara asked, having been pulled along for several minutes in complete silence. She had taken this time to eat the apple Fili had given her, the delicious fruit quieting her grumbling stomach nicely.
"You will see," Fili responded, keeping up a brisk pace.
"To the bath house?" she persisted.
"No," he answered.
"To cut more meat?" Kara sincerely hoped not.
"No! Just be silent and wait," Fili ordered. Did this woman ever shut up?
Kara huffed in annoyance, she disliked not knowing things, and since she was now in a strange land, surrounded by strange people, she hated it even more. Yet, before she could open her mouth to ask Fili more questions, she heard something.
Singing.
And while the voice was pleasant to listen to, it was the tune and the words that had caught Kara's attention. Pulling up short, which was a bit hard when Fili was determined to keep going, she paused to listen to it. Why did it seem to stir a memory for her, something she could not quite explain?
"What is that?" she asked, turning to Fili for the answer.
"The singing?" He looked confused by her question. "It's a song to put children to sleep. It has been sung by women of my land to their babes for more years than I can count."
"It…it is…lovely," Kara whispered, as strange images flashed across her mind, things she had only ever seen in her dreams.
"Yes, I suppose," Fili shrugged, losing interest in this conversation quickly. "Come, we're near to where I want to take you."
Kara's feet began to move, but she couldn't seem to stop thinking about that song, wondering why it had moved her so much. But when Fili led her to one of the tall watchtowers at the edge of the camp, her mind began to whirl once again.
"Are we going up there?" she asked, pointing to the parapet at the top, where a large Viking dressed in warm furs was standing, gazing out over the terrain.
"Yes…I want to show you something," he nodded, pulling her along and pointing to a ladder at the back. "Up you go."
Kara had never liked heights, but she was not about to admit such a weakness to Fili. So, taking a deep breath, up she went, doing her best not to look down…and hoping that Fili was not looking up! When she reached the top, she was surprised to see the Viking man bending down to offer her a hand, helping her stand while Fili came nimbly up the ladder behind her.
"Give us a few minutes, will you Gøtar?" Fili asked the tall man with the long beard. "I'll keep an eye on things for you."
Gøtar nodded, and made his way down the ladder, leaving Fili and Kara alone. The sun was out, and offered some warmth, yet the slight breeze was still cold. When Fili saw her shiver, he moved to her side, placing an arm around her in an effort to warm her. Of course she jumped at his touch, eyeing him suspiciously, yet in the end she realized that he was not likely to try anything untoward out in the open like this…so she relaxed, a bit.
"So…what did you wish to show me?" she questioned, doing her best to ignore the way his warm body was plastered against hers.
"Look as far as you can in that direction…what do you see?" Fili asked, pointing to the south.
"Fields…and then rocks and cliffs," Kara answered.
"And this way?" Fili then turned her around, looking off to the east.
"More fields and then a thick forest," was her response.
"A forest that is so dense and thick you could get lost in minutes," Fili added. "And if you did manage to make it through alive, and not eaten by wild animals, it leads directly to Mirkwood, Jarl Thranduil's domain…and I do not think you would wish to go there." Next he turned her again, pointing north. "What do you see this way?"
"Cliffs…" Kara was beginning to understand his reason for bringing her here.
"And to the west is only sea," Fili finished. "So…do you honestly believe that you could ever escape? And if you did…how long do you think you would live?" When he saw her shoulders droop and her eyes begin to tear up, he knew he had made his point. "I do not show you this in order to make you angry or to hurt you…I do so to prove the foolishness of trying to leave here. Each exit is heavily guarded, and the walls cannot be scaled or breeched without great effort – something I fear you are not capable of. And with winter coming on, you would not make it far before you froze to death. It would be best if you gave up this futile notion and simply accepted your fate."
"But…I do not want to stay here!" she practically sobbed, feeling as if her life was coming to an end all over again. "I don't want to be a slave…not for you…not for anyone!"
"We rarely get to choose our own path…the gods have our lives already set, the most we can do is live bravely and find happiness where we can," Fili told her, hating to see her looking so broken, yet knowing it was necessary. "Perhaps it was your destiny to come here. Have you ever thought of that?"
"I do not believe in destiny, or that our lives are pre-ordained," she told him fiercely. "I believe we control our fate, and are able to make our own choices…for good or ill."
"And you think this an ill choice?" Fili questioned.
"I did not make this choice…you did!" she growled, shoving at him so that he stumbled back a few steps. "You sailed in and altered my course without my consent! You took away my freedom! You stole my life!" At this, Kara turned and headed for the ladder, making it down several rungs before Fili could halt her.
He moved to follow, yet he saw that she stopped once she reached the bottom, standing there looking left and right, as if unsure where to go. Then with a cry of utter misery, she sunk to the ground and covered her face with her hands…sobbing as if her heart had been broken.
Not sure what he should do, Fili remained above, giving her time to come to terms with what he had said, hoping that she would understand there truly was nowhere for her to go. He had never felt remorse over raiding the Saxon shores, it was simply what they did, but for the first time, Fili experienced shame for his actions. Still, there was no way to change things now, Kara was here, and he could not send her back. He would simply have to make her new life as bearable as possible…hoping that one day she would accept Erebor as her new home.
As Kara wept, she felt as if she had just been captured all over again, her freedom being stripped from her in a whole new way. Up until now, she had held on to the hope that somehow there was a way for her to escape…but Fili was right. She was stuck here, with no place to run, nowhere to hide. She was now a slave, her life no longer her own to command, and though she felt angry and helpless, Kara knew in her heart that giving into despair would do her no good either. If this was to be her lot in life, then she must find a way to make the best of it, until a new chance presented itself. The hope of being able to buy her freedom still teased at the back of her mind, and she would hold on to that idea with both hands…since it was all she had. That of course did not mean she would roll over and play dead, obeying these heathens' every command. But she would cease being so troublesome, figuring that Fili was at least the lesser of two evils, and being owned by him was at the very least tolerable.
Kara still grieved for her lost freedom, for the life she had known before, but ahead of her was a new life…even if it was not one she would have ever chosen for herself. Could she learn to adapt? Could she find peace with herself and accept it? Even if she did not want to, she knew she must. Still…it felt good to cry, to release her pain and sorrow in the only way available to her.
When Fili saw Gøtar return, standing at the base of the ladder and looking at the weeping woman uncomfortably, he signaled for him to come up, thanking the warrior, before heading back down himself.
Reaching the ground, he stood over Kara, waiting for her to finish crying. Part of him wanted to kneel down and comfort her, yet after what he had just said, he doubted she would want such a thing from him. Still, he knew she was strong willed…thus, Fili was certain that in the end, Kara would adjust.
"So…what will happen to me now?" she asked, wiping at her eyes as she sniffled back her tears.
"The same as before. You will work for me…and Kili…and perhaps things will not be as bad as you imagine," he told her. "At the very least, you have my promise that I will hold to my word. I will not force myself upon you until you ask it of me."
"And if I never ask…will you grow tired of waiting and sell me to another who will then violate me? Must I live in constant fear of what is to become of me? What kind of life is that?" she spat.
"Your life," he muttered, tired of arguing with her about this. He was the master, she was the thrall, and he did not need to justify himself to her, or anyone. "If you wish for more security in it, then stop fighting me, learn to be obedient, and do the work assigned to you. And for Odin's sake, stop trying to escape! I do not have the time or patience to keep going after you." Fili then leaned down and put his hands on her forearms and pulled her to her feet. "I must go find my brother now, but I thought perhaps instead of spending the day with my mother, you would like to work with some of the other thralls in the weaving room?"
"I…I know how to weave," she told him almost eagerly.
"Then you will fit right in," Fili grinned. "Come, it is this way."
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So, Kara found herself sitting at a loom, in a room with several other slaves…including Melind, which made her very happy. Fili had said he would return later to fetch her, but until then, she was left under the watchful eye of a rather plump man with a red beard named Bombur. He had a pronounced limp, probably from a battle wound, and Kara assumed that had contributed to his size, not being able to get around as easily as the other Viking men. Still, he seemed pleasant enough, keeping to himself as he filled his mouth with dried meat and the contents of his mug. Yet, Kara couldn't help but be concerned about his moral character - would he perhaps attempt to accost the women under his supervision?
"Do not worry, Bombur is kinder than most," Melind whispered to her when she saw Kara watching the man warily. "He is married, so he does not try to touch us like some of the others. He is also the brother of Bofur…I think you have met him, have you not?"
"Yes…he was among those who took me captive," Kara told her. "And also the man who called you away from the cutting table yesterday, right?"
"Yes, and I am sorry that he was part of the group that raided your ship," she told Kara with a look of both sadness and guilt. "He is not like the others…really…he is very kind."
"And quite a good kisser too, from what I saw in the alleyway yesterday," Kara added, dropping her voice to a low whisper, though since they were conversing in their native tongue, she figured very few around them would understand anyway.
Melind looked aghast, her eyes growing wide as she stared at Kara in fear.
"Oh! You saw us?" she gasped. "Please, please do not say anything! We could both be in a great deal of trouble if Gier found out!"
"I will not give your secret away, I promise," Kara swore, placing her hand on her arm in reassurance. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Not unless you happen to have the amount I still need to buy back my freedom from Gier," she said with a regretful smile. When Kara lowered her eyes, knowing she had nothing to offer her, Melind laid her hand on her shoulder in understanding. "I was only teasing, dear friend. For this is something Bofur and I must deal with…alone. But I will tell him we need to be more careful when we choose to meet."
"How long have you and Bofur…well, been seeing each other?" Kara asked.
"Gier brought me to Erebor last spring, for he travels from village to village, offering his services as a tanner," Melind explained. "Bofur was one of the first to buy some of his wares, and noticed me right away…or so he tells me. It took me a bit longer to recognize his interest, for I belonged to Gier, and I never dreamed another man would want me, at least not that way."
"Does Gier treat you well?" Kara was almost afraid to ask, already quite certain that the poor girl was forced to share his bed, and for more than just sleeping.
"He is decent enough, I suppose," she said with a shrug. "He does not hurt me simply for the fun of it, and I have seen that many other women have it much worse than me."
"But you do not like him as you do Bofur?" Kara guessed.
"I never thought I could have any feelings for these Northmen," Melind revealed, sounding almost shocked by her own words. "Yet…I honestly love Bofur, and I believe he loves me in return. Why else would he work so hard to get the money to buy me from Gier? I can't explain when my hate turned to acceptance, and then at last to love…but it has. I'm in love with a Viking."
"From what I have seen of him, Bofur is one of the better ones," Kara admitted, wanting to say something positive, and truth be told, he had always treated her kindly.
"And so is Fili," Melind insisted. "I know you do not see it yet, but in time, you will. Do not let your bitterness over your situation cause you to miss out on that fact. You might not want to accept it yet, but the wisest thing you could do right now is make the best of your situation. You will only be harming yourself if you continue to fight against it."
"Fili said something very similar today," Kara told her, looking down at her hands in sorrow. "And since he proved to me that there is no way for me to escape…perhaps you are right."
"I don't mean to sadden you," Melind said, placing her arm around her new friend's shoulders and pulling her into a warm embrace. "I just do not wish for you to suffer needlessly. Who knows, perhaps one day, a man will come to love you and offer to buy you from Fili. And in the meantime…at least he is not hideous looking, nor have I heard that he is a cruel lover." She then pulled back, giving Kara a look of concern. "He isn't…is he?"
Kara was not sure how to respond, on one hand she honestly had no idea what kind of lover Fili was. Yet, she was also quite certain that Fili would not want anyone to know about their little arrangement. Still…from what she had learned of him thus far, she could only assume that his surprisingly tolerant nature would filter over into other aspects of his life. Thus, she answered her friend, giving her the only reply she could.
"No, he is not. He has thus far been very kind to me," Kara assured her. And it was strange, for now that she had said it out loud, she realized she actually believed it. Fili had truly been more than kind, leading her to add to her statement in a rather remorseful tone. "Probably more so than I deserve, after all the things I have said and done to him."
"I am glad of it," Melind smiled. "The life of a slave is hard enough without having to worry about those things as well." She then turned back to her loom and eyed the blanket she had been working on. "Now, let's return to work, before Bombur announces the midday meal and we have nothing to show for our time here."
"Thank you, Melind," Kara told her friend, placing her hand on her arm in gratitude. "I'm very glad I have you to speak with."
"As am I," the blonde woman grinned. "Now, hand me that comb, I need to tighten up my threads."
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A few hours after the midday meal, Kara had nearly finished the item she had been told to work on, having found the job almost enjoyable. It made her feel good to see the efforts of her labors before her, telling her that she had created something useful. When Fili came to retrieve her, he actually complimented her on what she had accomplished, which almost made her smile with pride…almost.
"Did you enjoy spending time with Melind?" Fili asked, as he walked her back towards the longhouse.
"Yes, she is very kind," Kara nodded. "We both have much in common."
"You mean you are both sought after by Bofur?" Fili teased, grinning as she rolled her eyes at him in exasperation.
"No. We are both unwilling slaves, being held against our will by insufferable Vikings," she retorted, though there was far less venom in her tone than there had been only days before.
"Insufferable, am I?" Fili asked with a cheeky grin. "I suppose I've been called worse."
"I'm sure you have," she teased further.
"At least you didn't label me a winter-nut this time," Fili chuckled, recalling her first attempt to insult him. "Or a potato skin." He could tell that Kara wanted to respond, and he had been enjoying their friendly banter, but unfortunately they were rather rudely interrupted.
"Out taking your little pet for a walk, are you?" came the sinister voice of Detlef, having approached them from the side, thus startling Kara by his unannounced presence. Fili, however, simply stiffened and turned to stare at him coldly.
"Is there something we can do for you, Detlef?" Fili asked, his tone like ice.
"You can let me have your thrall here, just as you should have done to begin with," he said bitterly. "Word is, you didn't even have the money you bid in the first place. That you had to get your brother to put up the rest to secure her."
Kara, not quite sure what to do or say, hid behind Fili's form, doing her best to block the vile man from her sight. She even found herself placing her hand on his back for comfort, realizing that he not only could protect her…but that he would.
"It matters not where the money came from," Fili continued not at all flustered by the man's accusations. "She is mine…or I suppose I should say mine and Kili's, and that's all you need to know."
"Just because you are the Jarl's nephew and heir does not mean you can do whatever you please and get away with it," Detlef snarled. "The woman will be mine eventually, I guarantee it."
"You need to lay off the ale," Fili laughed, though there was no humor in it. "You are obviously drunk out of your mind if you think your words carry any weight with me. Now, be gone unless you intend to make a formal challenge, of which I would be only too happy to accept."
This seemed to give Detlef pause, probably knowing that a fight with Fili would not turn out very well for him. He was more of a dirty fighter, and he knew he would lose to him in a fair match.
"Just watch your back, Fili Flinnson," the large man warned, giving one final look at the barely visible Kara. "And that goes for your little thrall as well." And off he stormed, not once glancing back.
"What an arse!" Fili spat, his tone revealing his hatred for the man. "I wish he had challenged me. It would have felt good to see him get what's been coming to him for a long time."
"Please don't do anything foolish, Fili," Kara begged, shocked by the worry she suddenly felt over her captor.
"I do not fear him," he huffed, turning to look at her and seeing the fear in her eyes. "And you shouldn't either. He is full of wind and piss. He knows he has no right to claim you." Fili then leaned in and placed an almost reverent kiss on her forehead, pulling back to grace her with a wide smile. "You belong to me, and I protect what is mine, understand?"
Kara was too dazed to respond, having been completely taken aback by Fili's kind words and sweet gesture. All she could do was stare at him, noticing how gentle his blue eyes appeared when he was not being her infuriating Viking captor. Thankfully, she was spared having to speak by the sudden appearance of Kili, racing towards them with a wide smile.
"There you are!" he called, hurrying to catch up with them. "Look what I just bagged!" Here he held up several game birds, each one bosting a bloody hole through its chest, telling Kara that they had been shot with arrows.
"Nice catch!" Fili complimented his brother. "We shall dine well tonight."
"Yes, we shall," Kili grinned, holding the birds out to Kara expectantly. "Here, take them, I need to go clean up or mother won't allow me to set foot inside the longhouse."
"Me? Take…those?" she balked, stepping back in surprise and disgust.
"Sure, you'll need to pluck and gut them, after all," Kili said matter of factly. "We can't eat them raw, can we?"
"You do know how to prepare fowl, don't you?" Fili asked, joining in with his brother. "And if not, I'm sure our mother can teach you."
Kara knew that last part was said as a challenge, for Fili knew just how much she liked spending time with his snippy mother.
"I can manage just fine," she stated firmly, reaching out and grabbing the three dead birds by their feet. She did her best to keep their bodies away from her though, having just washed her apron free of yesterday's blood stains.
"Good, we'll look forward to tasting your efforts tonight," Fili smiled. He then pulled a sharp knife out of some hidden pocket in his leather vest and handed it to Kara. "Watch yourself, it's sharp." He warned. "You can also use the axe and chopping block over there, and a bucket of water to wash them clean after being plucked. And since dinner is not too far away…I suggest you get busy."
Kara glared at Fili, wishing she could set him on fire with only her eyes, but he regretfully did not burst into flames. What happened to the sweet words and kind gesture from a moment ago? It was like he was two different people at times, and she wanted to throw the birds directly in his face. Still, another part of her wanted to show them just how capable she was, for her pride was now at stake.
"Yes, master," she replied, once more her tone dripping with disdain. And turning quickly, she headed off towards the longhouse, eager to get started and be out of the company of the two men. Kara might have resigned herself to living in Erebor and being Fili…and Kili's…servant, but that certainly didn't mean she had to like it, or be overly polite.
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After Kili had bathed, he joined Fili, the two working on a few more ideas Thorin had come up with to strengthen their defenses before Thranduil arrived. The two Jarls had long been at odds, the fact that their territories butted against each other always seemed to cause friction. It was said that at one time Erebor and Mirkwood had been strong allies, but that a rift had come between them in Fili's great-grandfather's day. Some said the Jarl at the time had betrayed Thrór for money, while others claimed they had broken ties over the love of a woman. Either way, for two generations, they remained separate, neither one wishing to breach the gap that had driven them apart.
Yet, in three weeks' time, perhaps things might change. Fili knew that Thorin was reasonable, even if he was hot tempered and more inclined to fight than talk. Still, as the leader of his people, he was willing to listen to what Thranduil had to say. However, if what he proposed was not to his liking, Fili wondered if the Mirkwood Jarl would manage to leave with his head intact.
"That's why Balin and Dwalin will be offered in exchange as hostages when he arrives," Kili reminded his brother when he spoke of his concerns. "Uncle would never do anything to risk their lives. I think it'll be fine, the meeting will go peacefully."
"I wish I had your optimism," Fili smiled, throwing his arm over his brother's shoulder. "I think we have worked long enough today. How about we go see if our thrall had finished fixing our dinner?"
"Sounds good to me, I'm starving!" Kili agreed, the two making their way through the streets.
Well, looks like Fili got his point across...even if it did make Kara cry. You big meanie!
She did get to hang out with Melind again though, so that was nice.
Oh, great, Detlef showed up again...he's like a bad penny!
Hmmm, wonder if Kara CAN cook. Or are those birds going to go to waste?
And Fili can sure blow hot and cold, can't he? One moment, he's making her cry, and the next he's so sweet he's giving her cavities. Men!
Guest Reviews:
abc: Yes, Kara is VERY fortunate she got Fili as her boss, and not someone else...like Detlef! Hmmm, I do wonder WHO Thranduil might have with him when he visits. Guess we will find out (wink wink) I think in every universe, Thorin and Thranduil will have 'issues'. ha ha. Hope you enjoyed Wednesday's chapter! Thanks.