The Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

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Chapter 14-

When I woke a few hours later it was dark outside. I felt disoriented from the time warp my brain had gone through, the way it always does when I fall asleep before the sun goes down. My brain was still fuzzy, I wanted to go back to sleep.

Edward was sitting on the floor next to the couch, his book open in his lap. He looked up at me and smiled.

"How do you feel?" He handed me a glass of water. Thank God I thought, my mouth was so dry my tongue felt like it had sand paper on it. I drank the entire glass before I could talk.

"I feel funny, maybe I am getting sick." My whole body felt heavy. I sat up slowly.

"What time is it?" A sudden flash of urgency sparked in me, Charlie would be worried.

"It's a little after mid-night. And don't worry, I had Alice call Charlie. She told him you were going to stay the night." Edward had taken care of everything, like always. Part of me remembered that I should be irritated by this, but I couldn't bring myself to care. At the moment I didn't care about anything.

"Why don't we move to the guest room next door, the bed in there is probably more comfortable to sleep in." Edward lifted me effortlessly and carried me to the guest room. I had never been in this room before. It was decorated simply but elegantly. Everything was in earth tones, the large bed stood out in the almost empty room

Edward helped me slip out of my jeans and under the beige sheets. I thought it was funny that there were so many beds in a house where no one slept. I giggled softly.

"What's so funny?" Edward gave me a playful nudge.

"The bed." I giggled again. It only bothered me slightly that I was acting so goofy. I yawned and stretched. I felt better than I had in weeks, I didn't worry about anything for the moment. My head buzzed with static, thoughts would start and then fizzle away.

"What's so funny about the bed?" Edward's voice was deep and sensual. He scooted closer to me. He sat up on an elbow and I could see he was shirtless.

"You're not wearing any clothes Edward." I felt compelled to point out the obvious. A cold sweat broke out between my shoulder blades. This was not something I had thought about. Edward was comfortable being physical with me now, but I was no longer comfortable with him.

"You shouldn't be either." He growled at me as he tugged at my shirt. Alarms went off in my body, but I couldn't stop what was happening. I felt like I was falling. James' name was repeating in my head. Was it possible to feel like you were cheating when you were with your boy friend?

"Is it ok if I take a shower real quick?" I was stalling, trying to think of an excuse to not be with Edward. He looked upset for a moment then smiled again.

"Of course. I'll come with you." Oh God, this was so bad I thought. I followed him into the bathroom and he started the water in the tub. I just stood there watching as Edward stripped off the rest of his clothes.

I wanted to run away and never look back. What could I do? I needed to stop this, but I didn't know how. Edward pulled my shirt up over my head and tugged my underwear off my hips. The fuzzy feeling in my head was keeping me from moving. It felt like I was standing in a fog.

Edward stepped into the tub and then helped me in too. I sat down between his legs and leaned back tensely.

"You don't have to be shy Bella." Edward whispered behind me, his hands were moving across my body, making me squirm with shame. James' hands had been in those same places the same day, but somehow it had felt so different.

The strange painful pulsing that had been in my head the last time Edward and I had made love was beginning to pound again. At first it was just a small stabbing sensation behind my eyes, but it was quickly growing into a loud scream. It vibrated off the walls of my head and I sat up quickly. I was massaging my temples and squeezing my eyes closed trying to block out the light.

"Are you ok?" Edward was rubbing my shoulders. The warm water from the tub was splashing against the sides in an annoying way. I just wanted everything to stop, all the noise and movement was just making things worse. Every part of my body screamed to get out. This was wrong. I had been wrong all along. It wasn't Edward I was meant to be with, it was James.

"Just relax." Edward moved out from behind me and helped me lay back. He put a washcloth over my eyes to help block everything out. I was dimly aware that Edward was gently washing my body, his hands felt cool even in the warm water. The pain in my head was making it impossible to respond.

Once he was done he lifted me out of the tub and wrapped me in a large soft towel. I was back on the bed before I knew what was happening. It was so comfortable in the bed, the sheets smelled fresh and the pillow was so soft. Edward slid in behind me and was humming to me quietly.

The pounding was subsiding now. I took a relieved breath in. Every time Edward got too close to me my brain went into a painful defense to block it out. How was I supposed to explain that to him? I wanted to tell him it was over, that he and I couldn't be together. The words weren't forming though. Thoughts were bouncing off each other in confusion. I had never broken up with someone before, and now I had to do it with the person I had thought was my soul mate at one time. Knowing Edward still loved me made it even worse.

While I was trying to figure things out Edward had unwrapped the towel from around me and was positioning him self between my legs. I let out a small cry and began to tell him to stop, but the pain erupted in my head like a bullet. I was barely able to focus when I looked into his golden eyes. My body contracted in agony from the searing flashes of pain pulsing in brain. I was barely aware of what Edward was doing anymore. It was slow and gentle like last time, Edward was so careful not to hurt me, if only he knew what was happening in my head. I couldn't feel bad for Edward though, all my guilt and shame was reserved for James. My true soul mate.

When it was over I felt so numb, even as Edward cradled me in his arms I couldn't stir any emotion inside myself. It was easier then the disaster of feelings that were fighting in my heart. I was going to have to do something soon. I couldn't keep playing both sides I thought. The static in my head was getting louder now and the over powering need for sleep was taking me away again. Edward's whisper's followed me into the darkness, his promises to love me and to make James leave me alone forever echoed into my dreams.