Disclaimer: JKR owns everything except what she doesn't.
Chapter 14
Tonks and Rebecca got Harry back to the flat and sat down on the sofa and Tonks got everyone something to drink.
"How did I kill him? I can barely walk right now and I beat him to death." Harry asked.
Rebecca sighed "When I ran my scan I found that your magic was low. You did accidental magic; it seems to have given your body a boost."
"How can I stop it from happening?"
She gave him a long look "You can't, as your growing so is your magic. Your body grows in spurts and so does your magic. It will stabilize when it finishes growing sometime around seventeen years old." She took a breath "I'm sorry Harry; I thought we had some more time before we needed to talk about this. When we brought you here you were using your magic to stay alive and heal, I thought it would be at least two months before you would have an incident."
"So how come I haven't done any accidental magic since between my second and third year?"
"If you use your magic a lot it will keep it in check and for the most part stop it. When you get really emotional, especially with negative emotions like anger, hate and fear, it can still happen but it's rarer."
He stared at his hands "So you're saying that I can't give up magic, I have to keep using it forever?"
"No Harry, once it reaches maturity you won't have to use it, it will be stable enough so that accidental magic won't occur, you'll have to will your magic then. The longer you go without using it, the more will power you'll need to make it work. We just have to find a balance until then."
Harry thought about it for a few minutes. "So if I levitate the plates for dinner and breakfast would that be enough?"
"I honestly don't know, it might be or you could need to do more than that. We just have to experiment until we find out how much will work."
"Am I allowed to have a new wand after the trial?"
Tonks answered "Madam Bones will be able to get you a waiver on it. She should be able to get you one for underage magic too so you won't have to go through that again."
Harry slowly nodded "I think I'll get some sleep now." He got up and slowly walked to the bedroom.
"He hates me now, I killed his plans and he hates me." Rebecca was staring at her own hands.
"No he doesn't, it's just been a bad couple of days and he's tired and sore. He'll be better by morning, you'll see. Tomorrow's the big move, he's been looking forward to it and isn't about to let a little magic stop it."
She gave Tonks a weak smile "Speaking of which, I have a few more things to do before then. I'll see you in the morning."
"Don't beat yourself up over this; he just needs to adjust his plans is all and Harry seems to be good at that. If not I'll give him his disguise back and tell him I'll make it permanent." She finished with a grin.
Rebecca gave a small laugh "Try to make sure he stays in bed tonight, he really does need to rest." She gave Tonks a hug and left.
Tonks checked on Harry and found him sleeping with his legs hanging over the edge of the bed still fully clothed. After getting his shoes off and him on the bed she looked at the clock and saw it wasn't even four yet. She wandered around her small flat for a few minutes before plopping into a chair.
"Great, I don't even know what to do with myself anymore." She mumbled.
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Tonks sat straight up grabbing her wand and pointing it where she had heard the noise.
"Sorry Tonks, I didn't mean to wake you."
She blinked a few times "Harry? What time is it? What are you doing up?"
"Just after midnight, I needed the loo." He limped over to a chair and sat down.
"What happened to your leg?"
"I just stubbed my toe." He was quiet for a moment "I'm sorry about how I treated you and Rebecca last night. I just…I thought I could leave it behind. Is she upset with me?"
She gave a chuckle "You two are perfect for each other, your both worried the other one doesn't want anything to do with you. Harry all relationships take work, parent kid ones are the worst. Parents want certain things for their kids and the kids want other things for themselves. You have to talk about it with each other so that you can understand what each wants and why."
Her eyes went wide "Merlin, that's the same speech my mother gave me when I was thirteen." Her eyes narrowed "I'm going to have to hurt you now Harry. I promised myself I'd never become my mother and your turning me into her. I'll never be able to show my face again."
Her face and hair changed to match Harry's complete with his half grin. "There now I can live with the shame because it's you who's becoming my mother."
It was his turn for the wide eyes "Oi, don't do that. I don't need to see my face on that…" He motioned up and down with his hand towards her "that…that body."
He buried his face in his hands "I think all of my nightmares have been replaced."
"So you're saying my body gives you nightmares?"
"No, no that's not what I meant, they're not nightmares. I mean, you've got a great…you're body's…you…" he put his face back in his hands "I think I'll just die now."
"Ah, so my body gives you dreams that aren't nightmares but still keep you awake at night?"
"Tooonks."
She laughed as she changed to her normal look. "All right, I'll stop now." She got up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for the compliment. I think you need to work on them a bit though, they need to be a lot smoother."
"Now let's see if you're looking any better." She flicked her wand and the lights came on.
"Gaaah" his hands went over his eyes.
"Uhm, sorry. The lights are going to come on."
"Thanks." He mumbled as he rubbed his eyes.
"Well you've got some color back. How're you feeling?"
"I feel better, still a little weak but not nearly as tired. I can actually walk more than a few feet without needing to sit down for a rest."
"Good. Now what are we going to do about you're magic?"
"I don't know. I'll get a new wand I guess, learn some housekeeping spells or something. If I have to use it I might as well do something useful with it. Can you teach me some?"
Tonks laughed "I do all my cleaning the muggle way. It's safer for my things that way. My mum's really good with them. Or you could have Hermione teach you, she seems to be pretty good with most things." She watched as Harry cringed slightly.
"Harry, you're going to have to resolve these things with her, Ron, Sirius and Remus if you want to have a peaceful life. They'll keep coming up and making you angry or sad until you do."
He sighed "Well Ron's easy, I don't understand him and I don't think he'll like what I'm doing. I don't want to lose his friendship but I think it might already be gone. I haven't even really thought about him lately."
"I want to at least stay friends with Hermione, but I don't know how to. She thought I did something bad to Ginny without even asking me what was going on and I treated her like crap because of it."
"Write to her; just explain that and then the two of you can figure it all out. The worst thing that can happen is that you find out you can't be friends anymore, but at least you'll both know and can quit tearing yourselves up over it. What about Sirius and Remus?"
Harry stared at his hands "I don't know. Every time I see Remus I get mad. I keep thinking he should have come seen me once, just once while I was growing up. It's like he just forgot I existed and now he wants to tell me what's best for me. How can he say he's worried about the way I'm acting when he doesn't even know how I act normally? What gives him the right to tell me what to do when the only time he's wanted anything to do with me was when it was his job? He had to be paid to even want to see…"
"Harry!" Tonks yelled over him "Calm down, I'm not even supposed to let you out of bed let alone get worked up like this."
He took a few deep breathes "Sorry."
"It's all right; just try to stay a little calmer."
"I don't know what to do about him. He's the only person I know who was friends with my parents that was free and…I don't know."
"Ok, you have a reason to be pissed at him and I'm not sure there's any explanation he could give that you'd accept." She looked at him for a moment trying to judge how he was going to react. "What about Sirius?"
Harry shook his head "Why didn't he write to me? Hermione at least more or less told me she was going to ignore me. She always trusts teachers, if they tell her to do something she'll do it, so I can understand her not writing. Ron never really wrote much to begin with, and Remus; well he never wrote at all.
"But Sirius has written to me since I met him. He risked getting caught so he could be near me during the tournament. Why didn't he write to me just once? Just to tell me he didn't want to write to me anymore or something. At least then I would have known. Instead I had to think he'd been caught and given the kiss. It's the only reason I could think of that he wouldn't write back to me at first.
"Then I knew that couldn't be right, he had the letters; Hedwig always delivered everything I gave her. So every time she came back I knew he was still alive then, but not what happened after that. Why hadn't he sent a letter back with her if he couldn't get to another owl? Was he ashamed of me for what happened in the tournament? Did he think I was too weak to bother with because I needed to talk about Cedric's death? Did he think I failed when I didn't save him? What did I do wrong?"
He took a breath and wiped his eyes "If he was ashamed or thought I was too weak before, what's he think now that I'm quitting? Is he going to tell me how much my Dad would hate what I'm doing? Or just how disappointed in me he would be? Is he going to be mad that I want to be adopted by Rebecca? Would he think I'm dishonoring my Mum because I call her Mum? What about me killing Dumbledore today, what's that going to make him think?
"He didn't let me know anything, just let me think he hated me or thought I was an embarrassment to my Dad. I'm not sure I want to hear him say it to my face. I don't know if I could take that right now. He was the closest thing I had to my father and he completely ignored me, I can't handle if he did it again, and I don't want to give him the chance too.
"I want to be adopted and I like calling Rebecca Mum. It feels good for me to call her that and I really want to keep calling her Mum. I'm not going to bother with Dumbledore any more, he's dead and I can't change that even if I wanted to and I don't, I feel better now that I know he can't get to me."
He looked at Tonks "Am I being selfish or a bad person because right now I don't really give a damn what he thinks or wants?"
"No, I don't think you could be called selfish or bad for it." She patted the sofa next to her "Come here."
He sat next to her and she put her arm around him. "I think you might be lying to yourself a bit though. You seem to care a lot what he thinks, and you don't want to see him in case he thinks badly of you."
She hugged him a little tighter "Would you like me to talk to him see how he feels about everything?"
He shook his head no while saying "Yeah. I don't know. I just want to know what I did wrong for him not to not even answer one letter."
"You didn't do anything wrong, and if he thinks you did then he's just going to have to go on with his life without either of us in it. The only way we'll know though is to ask him. I can go over tomorrow before we get you moved and tell him what's going on to see how he feels about it. Do you want me to tell him about the adoption?"
"Yeah, I think you'd better. That's the thing he needs to accept most if he wants to see me again. I can live with seeing him and knowing that he hates everything else about my life, but if he can't accept that Rebecca's my Mum then I don't even want to hear from him again."
They were silent for a few minutes before he asked "Is it strange that I want her to be my Mum? I mean I've only known her for a couple of weeks and I really want this. Am I rushing it just because I've always wanted a Mum?"
"I don't know. I do know that she really wants you to be her son so if you are rushing into this then it's both of you doing it and you both seem to feel it's the right thing for you. You want it and I know she wants it so I don't see a problem with it. From what she was saying it takes a while for everything to become final, so you'll both have time to figure it out. I don't think that either of you will change your mind even after a few years, but you'll have time to settle into it and find out for sure."
He yawned as he nodded. "Come on let's get you back in bed. I don't want your Mum to skin me for you being worn out tomorrow."
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When Tonks woke the next morning it was to the smell of breakfast being cooked. Smiling she walked into the kitchen only to receive a small shock.
"Mum?"
"Good morning Nymphadora."
"Uhm, not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?"
"I'm here to talk to my daughter about keeping secrets from her mother."
"Uh, what?"
"I had a visit from Amelia Bones last night. She told me that she not only knew that Sirius was innocent but that she had Pettigrew in custody and was going to put him on trial on Tuesday. She told me that you knew about his innocence Nymphadora."
"She has Pettigrew? She never told us that."
"And you never told me my cousin was innocent and you knew where he was." Andromeda set a plate on the table. "Eat."
"Mum, we didn't have any way to prove it and I couldn't tell you where he was, he was under a Fidelus."
"You could have told me he was safe, at least then I could have stopped worrying."
Tonks looked at her mother "You never said you were worried about him. You've never said two words about him to me."
Andromeda sat down. "He's the only one from my family who came to your father and my wedding. He's the only one who didn't ostracize me for marrying him."
Tonks took her mum's hand "I'm going to see him this morning, would you like to come with me? You could be the one who tells him about Pettigrew."
"You can take me inside the charm?"
"Dumbledore was the secret keeper, he's dead now."
"Amelia told us what happened. How's Harry?"
"He's dealing with it, along with everything else. I'm going to see Sirius to tell him about everything that's happened and to find out what he's thinking about Harry."
Rebecca came through the door looking tired and Tonks introduced them.
"How is he?"
"He's fine, he was up around midnight and his coloring was better."
"Was he still upset with me?"
"He was upset about the magic, not you. He's worried you're upset about how he acted." She gave her mother a glare that was spoiled by a small grin. "I gave him that speech about parents and kids relationships that you gave me when I was thirteen."
Harry walked in "Yeah then she gave me all new nightmares." He walked over to Rebecca and hugged her. "I'm sorry about yesterday Mum."
"Mum?" Andromeda asked.
Tonks smiled "Their adopting each other."
"Congratulations, how about some breakfast?"
They discussed the day while eating, when Andromeda told the other two about Peter Harry asked.
"Why didn't she say anything?"
"She mentioned something about you being passed out from blood loss, then everything that happened yesterday making it a little hard to find the right time to tell you."
"Mum's going with me when I see Sirius; she wants to break the news to him."
Rebecca looked up "You're going to see him today?"
She nodded "I'm going to see how he's taking everything that's happened and to lay down some ground rules for him to follow."
It was Harry's turn to look at her "What rules, I only had one for him?"
"And I came up with a few more after our talk last night, nothing to worry about."
"If you don't mind my asking, what was your rule Harry?" Andromeda asked.
He shrugged "That he accepts my Mum or he stays away. Everything else he can try to talk around but not that."
Rebecca squeezed his hand "Thank you"
They finished breakfast and Harry and Rebecca said they'd do the dishes after she checked him, and then get him packed up while the Tonks ladies were out. Harry gave a letter to Tonks and asked her to owl it while she was gone.
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Remus opened the door to number 12 Grimmauld Place and just stared at Tonks for a moment before Andromeda spoke.
"Usually it doesn't take this long to be either invited in or told to get lost."
He looked at her "Andromeda? What are you doing here?"
"I came to see my cousin if that's all right. I haven't seen him in quite a while and have some news he might want to hear. Can we come in now?"
Remus stepped aside to allow them through "He's in the sitting room. Tonks, can I talk to you for a minute?"
She glared at him "Anything you have to say that you can't say in front of her, I don't want to hear." She turned and followed her mother up the stairs and to the sitting room.
"Sirius? Merlin you look like hell."
He was sitting in a chair with a mostly empty bottle of Firewhiskey in his hand looking like he hadn't bathed in a few days.
"Andi?" he jumped up and stumbled over to her pulling her into a hug.
"He's been like this since I told him what Harry said."
Sirius pulled back and looked at Tonks his eyes narrowed some "What are you doing sleeping with my godson?"
She just stared at him for a moment then turned to glare at Remus "Sit down Lupin, there's some things you need to hear. Now!"
Andromeda grabbed her cousin "She is not sleeping with him. When I got there this morning he was in the bed and she was asleep on the couch. How could you think that?"
"I'll tell you how; someone here thinks that because two people won't tell him every detail of their relationship they have to be sleeping together." She pointed to a chair while still glaring at the werewolf "I said sit down. Either do it or keep your mouth shut because I'm not in the mood to put up with you trying to talk around your foot."
Andromeda meanwhile cast a sobering charm and added a few cleaning ones on Sirius and sat him in another chair.
"Do you want to hear what Harry has to say, or do you want to leave the room?" Tonks asked Remus.
He sat in the chair she was pointing at.
"First, he's royally pissed at you because he feels that the only time you ever gave a damn about him was when you were being paid to. Why is it that the only time you showed up in his life was when you were his teacher?"
He paled "He thinks that I was paid to care about him?"
"Well what the hell is he supposed to think? The first time he meets you is when you're his teacher, the next time he sees you you're trying to force him to do what someone else thinks he needs to do. You're the only person he knows about who was friends with his parents that could have been in his life, and you show up only when you're being paid. Now you keep trying to tell him how to live his life. He wants to know what the hell gives you the right to tell him anything."
He was looking at the floor "I couldn't be part of his life; Dumbledore didn't think it would be a good idea."
She threw her hands up in the air "Oh bloody hell am I the only one besides Harry who doesn't think the sun shone out of his arse? You abandoned your friend's son because that old man said you should? No wonder Harry's so screwed up about what a friendship really is he's had some really idiotic examples to learn from. You abandoned him because someone told you it was a good idea and you wonder why he thinks you have to be paid to care about him."
Remus was standing in front of her "I couldn't be part of his life because I'm a werewolf. I would have put him in danger by being near him." He growled.
"Oh boo hoo, what's the difference now? Is it that the old man decided you wouldn't be so bad now that you're old too or has someone neutered you to make you calmer?"
"You have no idea what could have happened to him…"
"What the bloody hell is different now!? The same damn things could happen now as then so what's the difference between then and now?"
He stared at her for what seemed like an eternity before she spoke again.
"The only difference that I see is that an old man who is dead now told you to do it. How do you think Harry sees it?"
Sirius spoke "Dumbledore's dead? How, he couldn't have been given the kiss."
Tonks sighed "Snape ambushed the Aurors taking him to Azkaban and found us. Harry beat him to death rather than let himself be taken."
Sirius was as pale as the day he had broken out "How is he?"
"He's dealing."
"Is there anything he needs or that I can do for him?"
"Answer a couple of questions. Why didn't you write to him when he needed help? He thought you had been caught and kissed at first. Then he started to think that you just didn't want anything to do with him because he had done something or not done something that made you think he had shamed his dad. Why can you risk being caught to see him during the Tournament but you can't write him a letter afterwards?"
"How could he think he'd shamed his dad? James would be busting with pride over him."
"And how many people out there could tell him that? He knows two and neither of them would answer him. With the decisions he's made and the thing's he's done this summer he's afraid to talk to you because he doesn't want to hear about how disappointed his parents would be."
"What has he done? What decisions?"
"Let's start with beating the wizarding world's idea of the light from the heavens to death. Or maybe how he almost died two days ago because he had a mental battle with the Dark Lord while he was having a piece of that idiots soul ripped out of his head? How about his choice to give up magic and live as a muggle? Do you think that might shame his father? He's afraid it would and doesn't want to hear it."
"He fought Voldemort two days ago? He's going to live as a muggle? Why? What the bloody hell are you talking about?"
"Let's start with the muggle bit first because my Mums news ties in with the rest. He's quitting magic because everyone in the magical world seems bent on either killing him or making him miserable. He wants to try to have a life and so far he's gotten a pretty good start on one. He already has a part time job and is seeing some tutors next week to decide on whom to hire to catch up on his education."
She took a breath "There's one more thing you need to know. He's being adopted."
Sirius and Remus both just stared at her. "He's what?"
"He's being adopted; they're starting the paperwork on Monday."
"What? Who? Why?" Remus and Sirius were speaking over each other. Remus finally let him talk.
"Why doesn't he come live here? He doesn't need someone to adopt him he has a home here with me."
Tonks looked at her mother who shrugged "I don't know all the details so you have to explain it."
She sighed again "All right, the what has already been answered. The who is Rebecca Monroe, Remus you've met her. She's the one who's seeing Ginny during the week."
"The healer? But they only met last week; he doesn't even know her how can he let her do this?
"Remus, it might be better if you didn't speak again. At least don't do it until you get much smaller feet. Outside of class how much time have you spent with him. How often have you just sat with him talking about anything?"
"I haven't seen him that much to talk with him."
"Your fault, not his so don't blame him if he doesn't value your opinion. Rebecca and Harry have spent a lot of time together the last two weeks. They both want this adoption to happen and neither one of you is going to mess it up. Harry has only one condition to you ever seeing him again Sirius, and that's if you accept the fact that he calls her mum and don't in any way object to this. Can you live with that?"
"He calls her Mum already?"
Andromeda spoke "He did when he saw her this morning. The first thing he did after accusing Nymphadora of giving him nightmares was to hug her and call her mum. If I didn't know better I'd say they've known each other for years and the adoption had already happened."
Sirius reached for his bottle only to have it fly away into her hand. "I think you've had enough of this. You do have a bath in this house you know; at least I remember a few of them from when we were kids."
He just sat there just staring at the floor.
Tonks sighed "Well if you can't even accept it without a drink then you don't need to hear what the other condition is for seeing him again. At least I can tell him I tried." She looked at her mum "Why don't you give him your news?"
"Ok. Sirius, Pettigrew was caught two days ago along with some other Death Eaters. He goes on trial Tuesday and Amelia says that he'll prove your innocence. You're going to be a free man."
"They caught him? How did they catch him last we heard he never left Voldemort's side?"
"Sirius, You Know Who is dead." Tonks told him "He was killed two days ago when a whole crap load of Aurors from here and the continent attacked Malfoy Manner while he was in it. At the same time Harry was involved in a ritual to destroy the Horcruxes that he had created. Harry was one, there was a piece of Voldemort inside his scar, and it allowed him to influence Harry's emotions. The goblins were able to coordinate things with Madam Bones so that the attack happened after they were destroyed. It didn't work out right and the attack happened early. Harry fought a mental battle that apparently paralyzed the Dark Lord long enough for her to finish the job. Pettigrew was apparently caught in the battle."
Remus spoke again "You said that Voldemort was influencing Harry's emotions?"
"Don't even go there Lupin. The goblins performed a ritual on both Harry and Ginny to block that influence. That's why they couldn't be close to each other and when you saw them together the other day they didn't spend very long talking. Being in close proximity would break down the block and it couldn't be performed again. Not one thing gives any of us reason to think he's been influenced since then and he certainly isn't now, and she's the one who found the bastard in his head to begin with. This adoption is going to happen whether you like it or not. He's the one who asked her to be his magical and muggle guardian, that's what started this adoption. Accept it or don't I don't care, but your not going to try to stop it."
Andromeda lightly slapped Sirius' face a couple of times "Are you still with us?"
He nodded slowly "You said he almost died from the battle?"
"His scar burst open when the soul piece came out. He almost bled to death and the whole goblin honor thing wouldn't let him have any potions. His nerves acted like he had suffered a prolonged Crucio. We had a schedule for everyone who was there to sit up making sure he was alright that night." She glared at Remus "Rebecca only got an hour's sleep that night and that was after he had woken up and made sure that the adoption was still going to happen. It took me almost another two hours to convince her to get some rest after she knew he was ok."
"All right I get it. He's being adopted no matter what I say. Can you stop being so belligerent towards me now?"
"Probably not, but let's see if you can keep your attitude in check before I commit to that. What both of you need to realize is that he's made up his mind about how he wants to move on with his life. You need to decide whether or not you want to have any part in it at all. He's already given up on one friendship and is trying to see where another one is right now. He won't hesitate to accept the fact that your not part of it."
Andromeda said "I have a question, when did he get a job and what is it? The last time I saw you two neither of you said anything about it."
"He got it this week; he's going to be baking biscuits for a café."
Sirius sputtered "He's baking?"
Tonks smiled "If he opened his own restaurant he'd get rich."
"He really can cook, he cooked dinner when he had Amelia invite Ted and I over and it was excellent."
Sirius stared at them blinking.
"Mum, I've said what I needed to say so I'm going to leave now." She gave her a hug then turned back to Sirius "If you decide you want to be part of his life let me know, I'll tell you the other condition."
"Wait. I want to be a part of his life even if it's just an occasional letter. I've waited too long to for it to let it go. I'll accept whatever conditions he has. I just need to see him again. What's his other condition?"
"It's not his, its mine. You accept everything about his new life without reservation or criticism, not just the adoption. You wait to offer your advice until he asks or you ask before you give it and you never under any circumstances tell him either of his parents would be ashamed, upset, or in any other way not approve of him in any way. If you can live with that condition I'll let you see him, but I'm not letting you hurt him again."
"Tell him that the only way his parents wouldn't approve of what he's doing is if he wasn't happy. They may have wanted him to take a different path, but if he's happy they would have approved. Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, I won't promise to answer it but go ahead."
He thought for a moment "I'm not asking this to criticize or anything, I'm asking because I want to know about his life. Are you and he dating, you seem to be really close to him?"
Tonks smiled "If he was a few years older or I was a few years younger we might be. We're really good friends and I'll protect him with my life if I need to. He and I have spent more time talking than he and Rebecca have, hell I've told him more about my life than any boyfriend I ever had." Her grin grew "As far as us sleeping together, we've only done that once and woke up so sore we haven't tried it again; yet."
"Nymphadora!" he mother yelled as Sirius paled. "You tell him what happened right now young lady. He doesn't need that grief."
She sighed "You can really kill a good prank you know? He woke up screaming from a nightmare his first night at my place. We talked for a while then fell asleep while sitting in a hug. We were both stiff and sore from the position we woke up in and I don't think the fact he had just been healed from his uncle's beating helped him any either. A lot of our talks happen in the middle of the night because of those nightmares."
"Thank you for being there for him. This Rebecca and you seem to be the most important people in his life; could I meet with the two of you before I see him?" He looked at Andromeda "It seems I'll be free by Wednesday and I'd like to get to know her a little bit before I see him."
"I don't see why not, I'll ask her about it and let you know. You do need to know that hurting or insulting her won't be healthy. Ask foot and mouth disease over here what Harry's promise is for that offence. So be nice to her because she is his Mum."
"I heard what he said to Remus," he chuckled lightly "That threat would make Lily proud. I'll be nice; I really want to get to know her too."
"Good, I have to do a couple of other things so I need to go. Mum can you get him into a bath at the very least. Those cleaning charms either weren't very good or he's already over powered them. Bye."