I just want to say thank you to the great amount of response on the last chapter! I'm so glad you all are still hanging by this story, it really means a lot! Without further or do, here is the newest chapter!

I want something that I want

Something that I tell myself I need

Doubt. It's the one word that can act as the catalyst in almost any situation. If a person has major doubts on their wedding day, it's simply called "cold feet" and shrugged off as pre-wedding jitters.

Thing is, one doesn't simply get pre-adoption jitters. It doesn't matter how happy the biological mother is to give her baby a better life, it's the doubt she gets from wondering if this family, practically strangers, that she's chosen will be the right fit. It's not like she can step back in and switch choices after the baby's been handed over.

Erin was having one of these identity crises at the moment as she sat on the floor of Aria's living room along with her and Hanna. The week before they'd visited the agency and set up a profile, and now she had been given the files of couples who were looking to adopt.

"I thought this would be easier," Erin groaned and sat back against the bottom of the sofa. She huffed out a breath and reached for her glass of water she had been drinking.

Aria laughed and nodded. "I thought there would be cooler prospective parents, but all of these seem like complete losers."

"Not all of them are bad." Said Hanna, who was trying hard to stay positive. "What about Megan and Dean Kendrick? They're both doctors, they live in the nice part of Connecticut."

"No," the redhead protested. She reached for the file and held it up, pointing at a specific line she had highlighted. "They have twin daughters. And they're only three."

"And those babies seem like the happiest babies on this planet,

Erin shook her head. "I want my baby to be the only one in the family. I'm sure those couples with kids are amazing with them, but I want my baby to know all the love her parents can give. I grew up with two step siblings and two biological sisters. It was hell to grow up knowing there was a brother or sister I'd always have to compete with."

Aria shrugged. "She makes a good point."

"Ooh! Erin, what about Erica and Mark Perkins?" Hanna asked, shoving another file to the girl. "They take yearly trips out of the country. Your baby would travel everywhere. Think about how worldly she'd be!"

"Uh... I don't know." She replied sheepishly. "They have two German Shepard's."

"So?"

"Again, I want my baby to know all their parents' love. Of course I'd love for the parents to get a dog when she's at least a year old, but not right away."

"I agree," Aria commented. "My dad's girlfriend brought her bloodhounds when they moved in, and last Thanksgiving, I swear I saw her leave loaded plates for them on the back porch."

"Ari, you're not helping. We only have so many prospective profiles." Hanna scolded her friend.

A few minutes later as the women continued studying the Manila folders, the kitchen door opened and Ezra walked in from the garage.

"Honey, I'm home." He called from his position, sorting mail at the breakfast bar.

Aria blushed and giggled. "I love it when he says that!" She got up and walked down the hall to meet her husband.

Hanna rolled her eyes and smirked. "I know you said me and Caleb are adorable, to which I completely agree, but those two are the sweetest couple I've ever met. Next to my friend Spencer and her husband."

Erin smiled and went back to reviewing one of the couples'.

Aria led Ezra back to the living room and they sat on the sofa, her back against his chest and his head nuzzling her ear.

Ezra pulled away and playfully squeezed his wife's hip, making her squeal in surprise.

"Guess what Amy did this morning while I was in that meeting!" He said animatedly.

Amy was Ezra's assistant and secretary. Now that he was a "big time author" as friends teased, he was forced to hire someone to help him organize his work life. When he'd mentioned it to Aria, she had of course been a little uneasy seeing as her father didn't set the best example for what TA's and secretaries could lead to. That being said, he made sure she was highly involved in the hiring process. Eventually after many skanky candidates, one stood out; Amy. Aria knew she could trust her because for one thing, she didn't bat for the same team. So far, she had proved to be a great help to Ezra and in turn a good thing for the newlywed's relationship.

"Wait, she didn't book the tickets?" She replied giddily. He nodded in response. "Oh, my God! That's great news!"

He leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the lips, making sure it stayed PG for their audience.

"Going somewhere?" Hanna asked, teasingly when they pulled apart.

The brunette nodded. "Ezra and I are going to Barcelona for our anniversary next year. It's still in the planning process, since we just celebrated our four year, but it's a start."

"That's amazing!" She replied. "I wish Caleb and I could take a vacation but with his job, we don't want to jeopardize him taking time off while he's still fairly new to the company."

"I think these were the last profiles in the box Mrs. Beacon gave me," Erin said as she stacked the many folders up a few minutes later.

Hanna frowned as she dug through the cardboard filing box. "I guess so."

Aria craned her head above them, checking the floor. "Are you sure this is it? Thirty-six couples and not one stood out?"

Erin nodded solemnly and frowned. "Am I being too picky?"

"No," Hanna was the first to reply.

"I think it's very compassionate of you to care so much about who you're giving your child to. If it were me, and it almost was, I wouldn't want to hand over my baby to some strangers and just hope for the best. I'd want to be sure my decision was for the best."

Aria nodded from her place on the sofa. "Han's right. These things take time and lots of thought. You don't have to even decide until you give birth."

"I know," the young woman whispered, placing a hand on her bump protectively. "It still feels like a ticking time bomb. Always looming over me."

"No, honey." Hanna laughed. "That's the seven pound baby sitting in your uterus, about to pop out like a firecracker in July."

After they'd left the Fitz house, Hanna and Erin made their way to the grocery store to shop for dinner.

The two women walked up and down each aisle, Hanna pushing the cart and Erin walking leisurely at her side.

"I know Aria said I don't have to make a decision until I actually have this baby, but something tells me I need to make up my mind sooner than later." The redhead murmured as the other woman reached for an item on the highest shelf.

Bringing herself back down on two feet, the blonde sighed. "That's not a bad thing. You should get it over with, but it's not that easy."

"What if I never find a couple?"

Hanna rolled her eyes, replying. "Don't worry. I bet the next couple you review will be the one."

"Where am I going to get more profiles? Mrs. Beacon already sent over the last of the files." Erin cried.

"You have to think positively. Tonight, we can sit down and re-review everyone." The older woman suggested. "Have you ever considered an open adoption?"

Erin shook her head vigorously. "Uh uh. It's going to be hard enough handing over my baby, I can't be tempted by pictures. And what if she ends up with a terrible life and wants me to save her?"

Hanna stopped the girl and turned to face her. "You have got to stop thinking so negatively about this. You're going to find the perfect people to give your baby to. I promise."

"You don't know that,"

"Yes, I do. Everything will work out, ok? I'm not finished helping you through this, not until that baby's out and on its way to Happy Familyville."

"Helping me?" Erin challenged. "Is that really what this is, a charity case?"

"No-"

"You have some kind of burden or grudge,right?" She challenged.

Hanna stood silently, awestruck. "But think that helping a stranger in my situation is going to make it disappear!" Erin shifted her weight to one foot and crossed her arms. "And I thought I could trust you."

Hanna struggled to find her words. This outburst was beginning to get outrageous, and it was certainly the last thing Hanna could imagine to come from the eighteen year old. "What the hell?" She cried, not knowing what else to say. "You can trust me! I'm not just helping you, and sure I do see a little of my teenage self in you, but that's not-"

"Please, we're nothing alike!" Erin seethed. "The only thing we have in common is our bastard pregnancies."

This made the older woman flinch. Bastard pregnancies? Bastard? Cooper was a lot of things; wildly smart, compassionate and obedient beyond any parents' wishes, and the cutest child if she did say so herself... But he was no bastard.

"My son is not a bastard child. How dare you? What is going on with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me, other than my dumb choice to let you help me, probably just to be talked about behind my back." The girl said at barely a whisper's volume. Then turning around, she slung her backpack over her shoulder and walked towards the supermarket exit.

Hanna abandoned her shopping cart and followed Erin toward the doors. "Where do you think you're going?"

She unfortunately got nothing aside from a wave of the special finger in response. Hanna wanted to follow her outside, but she knew how stubborn Erin and every other pregnant woman could be and decided to let the situation air out a little.

"Are you sure that was the best idea? She's got no place to go." Aria's voice came through the Rivers' phone later that night.

Hanna sighed and traced the edge of her wine glass, about an inch of the tasteful liquid left. "I dunno, but she said she has friends here, so I'm sure she's ok."

She could hear her friend sigh frustratedly on the other end. "She's obviously just being stubborn. Think about if it were you, would you want anything to do with you right now?"

"Ari, I don't have time for a breakthrough session right now. That's not why I called you."

She could hear her friend sigh through the phone, growing a little more patient. "I'm just saying, you should give Erin some space. After all if you're expecting a baby from her, you have to show her you respect boundaries."

How again did Aria know about Hanna's idea to adopt the baby? Instead of choosing to argue over the subject, she chose to let it go. "I guess you're right." She replied.

"Always am." Aria reminded her friend teasingly. "I'll talk to you in the morning. And if anything happens and she turns up, just call."

"You too."

And with that, the phone conversation was over. Hanna set her phone down on the coffee table and walked back to the kitchen where she found Caleb, organizing mail and bills at the breakfast bar. She smiled and just stared at him, hunched over on a stool, jotting down notes onto a legal pad as he went through the lengthy stack of papers. He was always so sexy when he wasn't even trying to be, and that's one of the things Hanna loved most about him. His charm was so effortless and so was his handsomeness.

She sighed happily and walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders and kissing him gently above his clavicle. He laughed and sat up slowly so she could untangle her arms from him.

"Hi," she smiled sadly.

He looked at her with his deep green eyes, and she nearly fell to the floor. They sparkled like nothing before, his honesty and love gleaming through. "No word from Erin?"

Hanna shook her head and sat herself on the stool next to his. "Aria's pissed, I can tell. But she hasn't exactly been scouring the town for her either."

Caleb frowned and slipped his hand over hers on the bar. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve this, and neither does Aria."

"Please refrain from trying to tell me it's not my fault, because it really is. I coddled her too much, and I know it was probably me trying to make up for feeling like such a bad person, but I couldn't help it." She sighed and stared into her lap.

"So what if you did drive her away?" He said jokingly. "It's not like you did it out of spite. I'm sure Erin was feeling overwhelmed and wanted to give the both of you a breather."

"I still should have gone after her." It was true. Hanna was beginning to feel the guilt from letting Erin walk. At first, she did want space to think, but at the end of the day it wasn't just about her needs.

"Have you tried calling her?" Caleb asked, sliding his cell phone across the marble top. Hanna nodded. "And she didn't pick up."

"Do you think she's alright?" She asked quietly. The tears of guilt and self-doubt burned in her eyes as he waited for an answer.

"If she wasn't ok, she would call you. It can't be that hard to get over a petty fight when you're in trouble."

Though his statement wasn't as reassuring as Hanna had hoped it would be, it still made her feel better. It was Erin, and she was stubborn and rash. If she needed her or Aria's help, she wouldn't hesitate to call.

The next night, Hanna laid awake in bed. Sleepiness had run out of her system because her mind wasn't letting her conscience settle down. All she could think about was Erin. After another day without hearing from the girl, everything was beginning to go on edge. Aria had stayed over at their house all day so they could be together if anything were to happen. But nothing had.

Hanna was finally half asleep when her phone buzzed in the bedside table. It startled her awake, and she quickly answered.

"Hello?"

"Hanna," Aria half whispered through the receiver. It was obvious that she was trying to be quiet for Ezra's sake.

"What happened?" She replied frantically. The fear in Aria's voice was small, but still there. Hanna braced herself, preparing for the worst.

"Erin is with me and she's in labor."

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Tay x