Exhausted, Mindy waited for the elevator. She yawned and stretched until both shoulders popped. She had been called out for a patient who'd been scheduled for a C-section in 2 days time but had gone into labor early. For a short while it looked like they might be able to proceed without surgery, but 4 hours in the baby's heart rate dropped and Mindy scrubbed in. Sleep had been particularly elusive lately and working through fatigue was par for the course for a doctor, but really frustrating because she needed to be at the top of her game in an emergency like this. Luckily the years of training and experience kicked in and her mind that had been unquiet for days cleared and she honed in on the task at hand.
Mother and baby were fine. Mindy, though... she didn't know what she was. Tired. In need of a shower. Glad to be home. She'd spent a lot of time at the hospital lately avoiding the rest of her life. She stepped into the elevator and hit the button for her floor, but right before the doors closed a hand shot through and stopped them. Much to Mindy's horror Cliff stepped into the elevator.
"Cliff! What are you doing here? You're not..." she started.
"No," he said tersely. "I'm here for Heather."
"Oh," she looked at him, surprised. Unable to bear the awkward silence she continued. "How are you?"
"I'm fine." He too was clearly uncomfortable in the silence. "Heather and I got back together."
She gave him a small smile. "Good for you."
They stepped out into the hallway at the same time, arms brushing against each other as they moved. They both murmured apologies and looked at each other uncomfortably. Mindy opened her mouth to say something else when she heard Rishi call her name from her doorway.
"I gotta..." Mindy reluctantly gestured toward her apartment.
"Yeah." Cliff managed to look both relieved and disappointed at the same time.
"Can we maybe talk later?"
"Mindy. I don't think that's a good idea."
"I owe you and Heather an apology. Please."
She could see the muscles in his jaw working as he thought about it. "Okay. How about you drop by later?"
She nodded. "Thank you."
When she rounded the corner she saw her little brother looking the worse for wear, slumped against the door to her apartment. "You look awful." She caught a whiff of him as she helped him stand. "Ugh. You smell even worse. What happened?"
"Went to a party in Bed Stuy. Tried to call you last night. Check your messages."
"Why didn't you text? I never check my voicemail." She fumbled her key into the lock. "Come in, I'll put some coffee on."
As she shuffled around the kitchen she listened to her messages. There were two from Rishi. "Rishi, you called like 7 hours ago. Where have you been?"
"Danny picked me up. I stayed at his place. When he left for work I came here."
"Danny?" Her eyebrows raised in surprise. "Why'd you call him?"
"You told me to save his number and try him if I couldn't reach you. You didn't answer. He did." Rishi sprawled tiredly on her sofa.
"Oh." She sniffed the milk delicately to make sure it was okay to use. She wasn't great at keeping up with her grocery shopping. There was a very real chance that Danny had bought this for her, once upon a time when he tried to surprise her with breakfast and she repaid him by hitting him with a candlestick. How long has he been taking care of me like this? She frowned and swallowed an emotion she didn't want to think about right now. "You want milk in your coffee?"
Rishi looked a little green. "No, I don't think so."
"Good call." She poured of cups of black coffee and sat down on the couch with him. "So why are you in New York, Rishi?"
He looked pained. "I...I don't know that I want to be a doctor, Min."
She closed her eyes and tried to stay calm. She was too tired to fight with anyone else this week. "Oh?"
"I came out here to tell Mom and Dad, but I couldn't face them. Then I got on a train to come see you, and ran into a friend who invited me out to this party. I thought a couple of drinks might make it easier to talk to you. My friend took off, and Danny picked me up."
"Okay."
"He made me some French toast and let me sleep on his sofa."
"Did he?" She stared at her cup.
"He says you two are fighting."
"Yeah."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Hey, don't change the subject. Why are you quitting?"
"Mindy, why are you a doctor?" he asked with a lost look.
"I like the challenge. I like helping people." She tilted her head from side to side a bit. "The pay ain't bad." She blew on her coffee. "Why now, Rishi? You must have stuck with it this long for a reason."
"That's what Danny said."
"Did he?" A little frown pulled on her lips. "And?"
"Listen, Danny already talked to me about this. Can I just get a shower so I can go talk to Mom and Dad?"
Against her better judgement, she nodded. "Sure. You left some stuff here last time you visited, so there are clean clothes in my closet, bottom drawer on the left."
"Thanks Mindy." Rishi looked relieved as he trotted off to collect his clothes. Before he shut the bathroom door he leaned back out. "Hey Mindy, go easy on him."
"Mind your own business."
Rishi gave her a serious look. "That dude talks about you the way Dad talks about Mom."
She blinked. "What?"
"You know what I mean. With like, reverence."
She looked away and cleared her throat. "Go get cleaned up. I have somewhere to be."
. . . .
As soon as she was reasonably sure Rishi was on the train to Boston Mindy hopped into the shower. She needed to go see Cliff and Heather, and she wanted to be at least clean and dressed like a normal person. She tied her hair back and examined her face in the mirror. She decided to forego make-up because it wasn't really helping anything. She was okay most of the time, but then she'd have a little flash of Danny's lips on her throat, which just made her think of his face when she said making love was a mistake and then she'd start crying again. She just felt hollow all the time. A little eyeliner couldn't hide that.
The hallway between her place and Heather's felt interminably long as she approached the door. Even though they'd spoken about it, Cliff looked a little surprised when he answered. She took a big breath. Here goes nothin'.
The ringing phone woke her. Mindy had spent no longer than 20 minutes at Heather's apartment, but once the smoke cleared and adrenaline retreated she was completely wiped. She collapsed on the bed as soon as she got back to her apartment and was asleep almost immediately.
From the light level in the bedroom she figured she'd been asleep long enough that the sun was now setting. She'd been having another of he dreams, and this time she reached Danny, but he dissolved when she touched him. Her face was tight like she might have been crying in her sleep now. Great.
She stretched and swiped the screen. She took a big breath and answered brightly. "Hi, Mom. Did Rishi get there okay?"
"Rishi's staying with us for a couple of days and flying back to California next Sunday." As always her mom got straight to the point. It was annoying sometimes, like when you just woke up to take a phone call, but it was also really comforting, that kind of honesty and directness that she'd always admired, but never had a talent for.
"He's going back?" Mindy felt around on her bedside table for her glasses and wiped a little schmutz from the lens before putting them on.
"Yes."
"Did you put pressure on him to go?" she asked tentatively.
"No, he said he changed his mind. That someone said he had stayed in medicine for a reason and it made him think about what he wanted. Did you talk sense into him?"
"No. Actually I think we have Danny to thank for that."
"Is this the Danny you work with?" Her mother sounded a little confused.
"Yeah."
"Well thank him for us." Her mother paused. "Why did Rishi talk to Danny and not you?"
"I don't know. Sometimes Dan's just easy to be be with. He's such a sweaty mess when it comes to his own problems, but when you really need him he's just there. He doesn't even try to give you advice or ask a bunch of questions. He just gives you enough space to work things out for yourself. Well, not all the time. He can really get mad if he thinks what you're doing is hurting you. And it's so difficult to argue with him. I get mad really quickly, and he just waits for me to calm down, even if I don't feel like talking. Most of the time, anyway." She didn't know why this had become such a long speech. Her mother didn't even know Danny.
"Oh?"
Mindy closed her eyes, thinking about the last time she'd argued with Danny, a train of thought she'd been avoiding almost successfully for days. "Mom, I gotta go."
"Mindy, I think you should come visit Saturday. We haven't had you and Rishi home at the same time in quite some time," her mother interjected unexpectedly.
"I don't know, I'll have to re-arrange my schedule." Mindy pinched the bridge of her nose. Her eyes were watering a bit and she couldn't tell if it was thinking about Danny again or just fatigue.
"Listen to your mother. Come home. We'll watch the DVD you and Rishi sent for our anniversary."
"About that..."
"I know. Come home. You could use a break. I can tell."
"I'll see what I can do." Mindy sighed and started mentally juggling her schedule, trying to think of a way to make it work.
"Tell Danny thank you for taking care of Rishi," came the reply.
"I will."
"And you."
Mindy felt a lump form in her throat. "I will. Bye, Mom."
Notes: This might be slow going still while I put some time into The M Project, but we're on track to end before Paleyfest. Hope you guys feel like this has been worth it, 'cause committing to such a long piece has been a new, strange experience. The kind feedback really helps and is much appreciated.
Music choice for this piece was London Grammar - Wrecking Ball (Miley Cyrus cover)