The next morning Sebastian pressed gentle kisses down Santana's back. Santana gasped harshly as she woke up. "W-What?.."
Sebastian pulled away. "Baby..I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.."
"Bas.." Santana hummed.
"Yes?"
Santana pressed her body against his as she relaxed. Sebastian rubbed her back slowly.
"I want to go home.."
"Are you okay?.."
Santana nodded. "I just want to be home."
Sebastian kissed between her shoulder blades. "Okay, baby.."
When they got home, Santana felt drained. Sebastian could see it in her face. "Maybe you should stay home from school for a couple of days."
Santana nodded. "I think I will."
"Good. You look tired." he said softly.
"I'm going to lie down."
"Okay, baby."
Santana didn't bother changing before crawling into bed. Sebastian couldn't help but feel like something was wrong with his girlfriend. But she was probably just exhausted from the trip. Santana stayed in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom. Sebastian poked his head in the room. "Baby..What do you want for dinner?"
"Not hungry."
"Are you sure? I can cook something special."
"No thank you." She said quietly
"Are you okay?.."
"I think I'm getting sick." She lied.
"Then you should eat some soup."
"Not in the mood."
"Okay.." Sebastian said softly. Santana pulled the covers over her head. Sebastian sighed lightly before closing the door. Maybe he'd leave her alone for a while.
The next day, Santana was still in bed when he came home from school. Sebastian's eyebrows kneaded together as he walked into her room. "Babe..Have you gotten up yet?"
"I made lunch," she lied.
"Okay babe. Well I went to lunch with Blaine and he wants to go out to dinner with us and Kurt."
"Okay."
Sebastian nodded, walking over to kiss her softly.
"How long do I have?"
"Two hours."
"Okay." Santana nodded. Sebastian sat on the edge of the bed and pet her hair slowly.
"How was school?" She asked.
"Long. Boring." Sebastian sighed.
"I'm sorry.."
"Don't be. It's what I signed up for." Sebastian chuckled, feeling her forehead for fever.
"How do I feel?"
"Fine." Sebastian said. "A little warm though."
"Where are we going for dinner?"
"Nowhere too fancy. Just a little Italian place a few blocks from here." He said, grabbing her hand.
"Sounds good." Santana said, giving a small smile. Sebastian ran his thumb over her knuckles before kissing them softly. "Do you care if I just wear my pink sweats?"
"Not at all."
Santana sighed as she sat up."
"Are you okay, love? You don't have to come if you don't feel up to it." Sebastian said softly.
"I'll go."
Sebastian nodded, kissing her forehead.
"I'll get ready." Santana said.
"Alright baby." Sebastian said before standing. "I'll be in the living room studying."
Santana nodded as he walked out. All she could think about is her first time and how abused she felt after. Ever since that night.. She didn't know why. Sebastian made her feel safe. But after seeing him it sent something through her.. Santana sighed as she got dressed for dinner.
When she came out, Sebastian looked up at her from his books. "Gorgeous." He smiled.
"I look like crap in my sweats."
"You look beautiful in anything."
"Thank you."
Sebastian took off his glasses and stood before looking at his watch. "Blaine said they'll be there early so we can head out now."
"Okay." Santana said as she linked her arm with his. They walked to the restaurant and saw Kurt and Blaine sitting in a booth.
"It's sick how cute they are." Santana chuckled.
"It is.." Sebastian giggled.
"Hey.." Santana said as they walked in.
Blaine looked up and grinned. "Hey gorgeous."
Santana slid into the booth. "What's up?"
Blaine looked up and grinned. "Hey gorgeous."
"Long day." Blaine said. "Dance is kicking my ass.." Kurt sighed.
"I bet you're doing great." Santana said to Kurt.
"I'm trying. I get so sore from standing all night at work." Kurt sighed. Santana nodded. She knew the feeling. "How's school been going for you?" Kurt asked her.
"Fine."
"Just fine?" Blaine asked.
"Yeah." She nodded as she leaned against Sebastian.
Sebastian kissed her forehead. "She's been kind of sick."
"What's wrong?" Kurt asked.
"Think I might be coming down with something." Santana said softly.
"Hope it isn't much."
"Me too."Santana said.
"I'm glad you came out tonight." Blaine smiled.
"So am I." Sebastian grinned. "I was scared she wouldn't want to."
"Scared?" Santana asked. "Is this important?"
"No. But you've been cooped up in the room since we got home."
Santana shrugged. "I like my room."
"You're just not usually like that."
Santana just shrugged again. Blaine exchanged a look with her, raising an eyebrow. Santana sighed as a waitress came to take their orders. She didn't want to talk about how she felt. "I'll just take a salad." She said to the waitress.
"That's it?" Sebastian asked.
"I ate a big lunch.."
"Okay." He sighed. The rest of them ordered before continuing to talk about their day.
Sebastian watched the two boys across from them. Something was different. "Oh my god." He grinned. "You two finally hooked up."
"Okay." He sighed. The rest of them ordered before continuing to talk about their day.
Blaine blushed deeply. "W-What?"
"You did!" Sebastian chuckled. "Good for you."
Kurt chuckled lightly, winking at Blaine.
"H-How did you know?" Blaine asked.
"You two are more comfortable. You're sitting closer. Touching more. You're not so nervous about what to say or anything." Sebastian said simply. "It's a gift."
Kurt kissed the spot behind Blaine's ear sweetly. "Well he's right.."
"I'm surprised Santana didn't say anything first." Blaine said.
"I didn't think you'd want me to."
"I don't mind too much." Blaine giggled.
"I can tell who topped too." Sebastian laughed.
"Oh god!" Blaine groaned. "How do you do this?!"
"Well. Kurt has his arm around you. You're leaning against him more. Just body language."
"Are you sure you're meant to be a lawyer?" Kurt laughed.
"Well I can tell when people are lying too." Sebastian said softly.
"You sure about that?" Blaine said before he could stop himself. Santana glared at him.
Sebastian just nodded, giving a small sigh.
"Anyways." Kurt said quickly. "How was Lima?"
"Crazy. But great." Sebastian said softly.
"Crazy?" Blaine asked.
"My family was just being stupid."
Blaine nodded. "I'm sorry."
"But Santana's family was amazing." Sebastian smiled, looking at her.
"My Abuela said if I didn't keep him, she would take him." Santana said with a small smile. She missed her family. Sebastian giggled, kissing her cheek.
"Can I ask a very personal question? I-I don't mean anything towards you Santana.." Blaine said carefully.
"Of course." She nodded.
"How are you two handling.. Not being with the same sex? I mean, I know it's different with girls. But I'm sure Sebastian can make you feel those things. How do you deal with not being with a guy?" Blaine asked Sebastian. "I mean you two are amazing together. I'm just saying.. Because San doesn't have.. You know.."
Sebastian took a moment to think. "I never was really attracted to girls..I never really wanted anything to do with them. But Santana and I just had this attraction. A kind of sexual tension since she moved in. When we started having sex, it was different, but amazing. I think her personality is what drew me to her the most..She wasn't like most girls. And sexually she knows just what I need. And we have a few toys to take care of what she doesn't have anatomically. But even when we use that, there's just chemistry. A connection."
"O-Oh.." Blaine blushed as Sebastian mentioned toys. "That makes sense."
Sebastian nodded.
"How do you deal with it San?" Blaine asked.
"Like you said, he can make me feel those things too. He's just more hairy." Santana joked. "I love him."
Sebastian giggled, turning his head to kiss her softly. "You don't wish I had tits?"
"That would be weird." Santana said seriously. "And this way, mine get more attention."
Sebastian bit his lip, looking down at her chest. Santana couldn't help but smile.
"As touching as that is.." Kurt chuckled. "I could use some wine. "
"And our food still isn't here." Sebastian sighed.
Blaine peeked over the booth. "There she is."
When their food arrived, Sebastian ordered a bottle of wine.
"Thanks Sebastian. I'll pay for the next bottle." Kurt smiled.
"You must have had a really hard day." Sebastian said.
"You have no idea." Kurt sighed.
"I'll buy." Sebastian said softly.
"Thank you." Kurt smiled.
"Then you go home and let Blaine take care of you."
Kurt chuckled, looking to his boyfriend. "I will."
Blaine leaned in for a kiss. Kurt cupped his cheek and kissed him sweetly. Sebastian wrapped his arm around Santana's waist. "You barely touched your salad."
"I'm sorry. My stomach is bugging me.",
"It's okay. I just want to make sure you're okay.."
"I'm fine." She smiled.
"Would you tell me if you weren't?" Sebastian asked quietly.
Santana looked up at him and sighed. "Yeah. Of course."
Sebastian nodded as he turned back to his food.
"How goes law, Sebastian?"
"Exhausting. But I'm the top of my class."
"That's amazing."
"Thank you." Sebastian smiled.
"He's my smart man." Santana grinned.
"All yours." Sebastian said as he kissed behind her ear. "You have no idea how badly I want to lay you down and worship your body." He whispered so no one else would hear.
Santana bit her lip before clearing her throat. Sebastian chuckled lightly as Kurt poured the last of the wine.
"You might be too tired for me to take care of you after all of that wine." Blaine said, smiling.
"I won't be tired." Kurt said, reaching under the table to squeeze Blaine's thigh. Blaine blushed deeply, giving a nervous chuckle.
Sebastian chuckled as he kissed Santana's cheek. "Do you want to go to a doctor tomorrow? Get some antibiotics?"
"Oh no. I'm fine. Really." She said, sipping her wine.
"Okay.."
Kurt massaged Blaine's thigh under the table and Blaine cleared his throat as the bill arrived. "It's been fun, guys." He said, laying down their half of the bill.
"Thanks for inviting us. Have a good night." Sebastian smiled.
They exchanged hugs before linking arms and leaving. Sebastian rubbed up and down her back slowly as they walked. "Hey. Are you not in the mood?.."
"What do you mean?" Santana asked.
"Well usually when I tell you I want to drag my tongue over every inch of your body I get a stronger response." Sebastian said, giving a light sincere smile.
A shiver ran through Santana. "I-I do.. I do want to. I just.. I'm not feeling that great lately."
Sebastian sighed lightly. "I understand beautiful.."
Santana looked over at him. He looked slightly dissatisfied with her answer. She just pulled herself closer to him and kissed his jaw sweetly. Santana didn't want to make Sebastian unhappy with her. But she couldn't get the memories out of her mind.
"Well. If you don't want to just tell me and we don't have to do anything tonight, love. I want you to be comfortable." Sebastian said, looking over at her.
Santana nodded. "We can.."
Sebastian gave a soft smile as they got to the apartment. Santana wrapped her arms around herself as Sebastian looked at her. Sebastian gently grabbed her hands. "What's wrong?.."
"Nothing.."
"Santana.." Sebastian said, giving her a look.
"What?" Santana asked.
"I know you." He said seriously, looking into her eyes.
"I just feel weird."
"About?" He asked, walking them to the couch and sitting down.
"I just don't feel good." Santana said. "I ate so fucking much when we went to my mom's. I can see a difference. I don't look how I did when we went. And.. Just.. Running into him.."
"San.." Sebastian said standing up. "You are beautiful. And it's more important to me than anything that you feel beautiful..Because that's the only way I see you..And seeing him. I understand that. If I would've seen..My first..I don't think I would've handled it the way you did. I would've gone full panic mode..But I can see you've been withdrawing.."
"You know what it feels like." Santana said, looking at the floor. "I.. I feel used and disgusting again."
Sebastian wrapped his arms around her and the scent of his cologne and the wine on his lips and just his scent as a whole surrounded her.
"I do. I do know how it feels. And I know no amount of 'you're going to be okay's or 'he's gone now's will do anything to help. I can promise you that I'll be here. I'll hold you when you're scared. When you need to cry, or just be held."
Santana gave a shaky breath. "Thank you.."
"I'm here for you. I'll protect you..I'll never let anything or anyone hurt you..You're my beautiful girl.." he said, smiling lightly. He pressed his lips to her temple softly and gave a little hum.
Santana wrapped her arms around him tightly.
"I love you.." Sebastian whispered.
"I love you too.."
Sebastian wrapped his arms around her more tightly, holding her head to his chest.
"Will you sleep with me?"
"Of course.." Sebastian said sweetly.
When they climbed into bed, Santana laid against his chest and listened to his heartbeat.
Sebastian pet her hair slowly. "Try to get some sleep beautiful."
Santana concentrated on the soothing rhythm of his breathing as she fell asleep. Sebastian closed his eyes, holding her as he drifted to sleep as well.
A couple of hours later, Sebastian woke up to Santana whimpering and thrashing in her sleep. Sebastian removed his arms from around her, not wanting to hold her down. "Santana..Baby.." he whispered, kissing her forehead and rubbing up and down her side. Santana groaned as she slowly woke up with tears in her eyes.
Sebastian held her face in his hands. "I'm here..I'm here, baby. You're safe."
Santana let her tears fall freely as he held her.
"Shh.." Sebastian soothed. He rocked her slowly before beginning to sing.
"Don't you know that I'll be around to guide you Through your weakest moments to leave them behind you Returning nightmares only shadows We'll cast some light and you'll be alright for now.."
Santana slowly started to calm down.
"Crosses all over, heavy on your shoulders The sirens inside you waiting to step forward Disturbing silence darkens your sight We'll cast some light and you'll be alright for now Crosses all over the boulevard The streets outside your window over flooded People staring they know you've been broken Repeatedly reminded by the looks on their faces Ignore them tonight and you'll be alright We'll cast some light and you'll be alright.." He finished, resting his lips against her temple.
"I-I'm sorry.."
"Don't be..I understand. I've got you, baby."
Santana sighed deeply.
Sebastian rubbed up and down her back. "Are you okay?.."
"Yeah.."
Sebastian nodded, resting his forehead against hers. "What happened?.."
"It was him.."
Sebastian pulled her closer. "You're here with me, baby..We're together."
Santana nodded as she tried to relax.
"Hey..Come on. I'll make you some tea.." he said, sitting up.
"Okay.."
Sebastian picked her up and carried her to the living room.
"You're amazing."
Sebastian shook his head lightly. "I just love you.." he smiled, kissing her as he set her down on the couch.
"I love you too.."
Sebastian smiled as he walked to the kitchen and made her tea.
"Thank you.."
"You're welcome babe.."
Santana curled up on the couch. Sebastian came back with a streaming cup of tea. "Here, baby.."
Santana sipped the liquid slowly Sebastian sat next to her and rubbed her thigh soothingly. Santana offered a weak smile.
"Talk to me." Sebastian said.
"What about?"
"What's on your mind."
"Not being able to get a full night of sleep. How I'm going to keep up with school, cheer and dance of I feel like this."
"What's on your mind."
Sebastian nodded, gently wrapping his arms around her. "Do you want me to sleep with you from now on?.."
"I'd like that."
Sebastian nodded, nuzzling into her hair.
"I just want the thought of him to disappear.." Santana whispered.
"I know..I do too.." Sebastian said just as quietly. Santana sighed heavily as she finished her tea. Sebastian pulled her into his lap and held her in his arms.
"I hope you know that this has nothing to do with you."
"I know..But I feel responsible for keeping you safe and happy."
"You do make me happy. I feel safe. He just brought back those feelings back."
"I understand, babe.." Sebastian nodded.
"Let's go back to bed."
Sebastian nodded, carrying her back to the bedroom.
Santana kissed Sebastian's chest. "Will you wake me up for school?"
"I will.." he smiled.
Santana kissed his chest. "Good night."
"Good night.."