I do not own Naruto.
I don't own songs.
There are rules about reading my stories, first of all, only review if you aren't planning to hurt my feelings T.T... I'm very... uh, sensitive and I plegde joy, peace, and happiness... uh, okay, nevermind. I just laugh at flames and thank all those people who are nice enough to review.
Okay, I'm going to complete this story... by next year... if I can. I'm planning about... twenty four chapters... I dunno, I like long stories. It's not like anyone wants it to end at five chappies!
Summary:
I SUCK. I get my favourite shirt stuck on a needle in a cave, I get a V.I.P. seat in a huge fight, I get my butt saved by a younger girl, and an s-ranked missing nin wants to add me to his, 'Collection', AND I forgot to feed my cat!!! SasorixOC
More Authors Notes:
Well, I know that my story isn't the best, but I'm trying... yeah. Well, this one's okay in my opinion. I haven't updated in a while, I know. But, I've been thinking of ideas, okay? I was thinking...
And now, I'm full of ideas! My updating's going to go back to it's usual quikness!
ENJOY!
Chapter 14: You Pamper Your Puppets??
Shit... Okay, I woke up from having a dreamless sleep... in a bathtub. The water has sakura peatals floating in it and it smells really pretty. My hair was tied into a ponytail and I was NAKED. Hell, I was going to kill the person who did this, but, it felt so damn RELAXING. Shit, this is awesome!! I let myself relax and the water rippled a little. Where is this, anyway? It's a cave with a stone bathtub in the middle of it. Oh, did I mention how HUGE this is? I can sit down in it, sure, but it was bigger than HOTTUBS. Suddenly. I heard footsteps. I ducked, into the water. I wasn't going to let anyone see me!! I wonder if I'm still in the Akatsuki lair...
"Yokomo." said a familiar voice. I shot out of the water.
"SASORI!! YOU NASTY, NASTY pervert!!" I said. Sasori stood there, still in a black cloak with a hood. He smirked.
"Do you work out or something? Are you on a diet??" he asked, smirking. I flushed.
"I'm on a diet of chocolate and easy mac. Shut up. I don't care about my weight. I'm like, 120 pounds..." I trailed. I really think that I'm too skinny... I'm seventeen! I should be heaveir!! I have tried to gain weight by eating junk food, but, of course, my mom was so proud that I managed to stay fit that she hid all of my chocolate!!
"Hn." said Sasori he sat in the chair next to the tub with a book. I glared at him.
"Are you going to cook me? Feed me to a callibal?" I asked. Like Zetsu... hehe. Salad man.
"No, I'm not. I'm going to recreate you. I'm turning you into the perfect puppet. You will last forever, never to fade. I'm developing a knew way to make perfect puppets. Then, you will look exacly like a human, only immortal." said Sasori in a bored way. I twitched.
"So... you're going to PAMPER me to make me the perfect DOLL??" I demanded. Sasori looked up from his book with a smirk.
"Correct, Yokomo. Congragulations." he said sarcastically. I glared.
"Well, are you going to give me another massage? Cause' I think that I have a knot in my back..." I murmured, trying to reach my back. Sasori rolled his eyes.
"No, I only need to do that once." he said. I pouted.
"Well, what else are you going to do to me?? Are you going to do my nails or something?" I asked. It was only a half joke. Sasori nodded.
"If you want." he said. I grinned. I get to choose? SWEET!
"Ne, Saso-chan? Do you know a little dude named Gaara?" I asked. Sasori looked up with a glare.
"Mm... hmm... Deidara killed him. Gaara was the redhead that you saw die when I first brought you here, remember? When we were in camoflouge?" said Sasori in a bored way. He flipped the page. I gaped, my eyes popping out of my skull. Oh, my god... they killed... Gaara?? Shit, wait. What do I care??? What dream meant nothing! I was just having another random dream! Yep, the dream meant nothing! I have no cousin named Moyan...
Okay, I know I do, but... still... it's a bit hard to believe... how could I not know her? Oh, yeah I was probably too busy playing video games or something... Sasori continued to flip the pages of his book as I simply sat in the collosal tub, waiting for the silence to be broken. I can't believe that... my nephew's dead... what will Moyan say when I tell her? Will she be upset? I'm stupid, of course she'll be upset! We're talking about her only son! I ducked my head into the water, again, guilt overwhelming me even though I had nothing to do with it. Damn you, girly man, for killing my nephew! Sasori all of a sudden got up and picked up a towel from the other side of the room with those weird strings. I emerged from the water and the towel was sent flying at my face. He walked out of the room, well, cave area. I stood up, too, the towel wrapped around me. I still felt bad...
"Ne, SASORI!!" I called. I heard his distant reply.
"Hn?" he asked. I stepped out of the tub, my red hair dripping wet. Sasori came back into the cave area with some more supplies.
"Why did girly man kill Gaara?" I asked softly. Sasori gave me a confused look.
"Why do you care?" he asked. I shook my head, small dropplets of water flying around me.
"Nothing..." I murmured. Sasori glared and sat down on the chair next to the tub, again. He just watched me. I looked down.
"What, Yokomo." he said. No, he didn't ask, it was not a question. It was a demand. I didn't look up. Should I tell him? No, he'll think I'm crazy. "I won't think that you're crazy." he said. What?? Are you kidding me? I looked up, wishing that I could sink into the floor.
"Nothing, really. Really." I said.
Sasori glared, "You're lying."
I put on a bright, (Scarily) easy-to-tell-it's-OMG-FAKE smile, "No! I'm okay! Really, Saso-chan!"
Sasori took a step back, eyes closed, his eyebrow twitching, "Mm hm, o-kay..."
I nodded happily, "OKAY! YOSH!"
I tightened the towel around me and trudged beside Sasori, who still had his eyes closed, his eyebrow still twitching.
"Neee... Saso-chan? Saso-chan? Saso-chan? Saso-chan? Saso-chan?" Poke, "Saso-chan?" Poke, "Saso-chan?" Poke, "Saso-chan?" Poke. Wow, this dude had TALENT! It's like he's used to this kind of annoying shit! "SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI! SASORI!"
Oh, no, he is NOT still NOT hearing me! I began poking him harder, saying his name louder, "SASSHOLE!? SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE!? SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE!? SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE!? SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE!? SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE!? SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?! SASSHOLE?!"
Wow, now, I had to go PRO! I took a deep breath, took on last glance at Sasori, whos eyes were closed and his eyebrow was still twitching. I made sure my towel was secure. Okay, there is NO WAY that he's going to survive THIS little charade! I opened my mouth, my hand over my heart. Sasori continued with his twitching thing as I opened my mouth to sing THE most annoying song in the world! THERE IS NO ONE that can handle this song! NO ONE!
"I...!!!!!" I began. Sasori stopped twitching, but kept his eyes shut. FOOL!
"I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves! Everybodys nerves, everybodys nerves! I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves and this is how it goes!; I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves! Everybodys nerves, everybodys nerves! I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves and this is how it goes!; I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves! Everybodys nerves, everybodys nerves! I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves and this is how it goes!; I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves! Everybodys nerves, everybodys nerves! I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves and this is how it goes!; I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves! Everybodys nerves, everybodys nerves! I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves and this is how it goes!" I sang. Damn, no movement! WHAT THE HELL?? Oh, no... will I have to go there? No, no, I don't want to KILL Sasori!
(I was going to sing 'Best Friend', by the way.) I walked over to Sasori and gave him a hug. He twitched.
"If you don't stop hugging me, I'll kill you." he said coldly. I grinned and jumped away, a smile on my face.
"HAHA! I knew that it'd work! AND HELL YEAH, it DID! SHIT, I'm a genuis, hell, I should be the host of freakin' Opera-"
"You know, it's named 'Opera' after the host, Opera?" informed Sasori, glaring. I glared back.
"Screw you, Sasshole." I muttered. He grinned.
"Hm, well I have to do a few more things. Follow me." said Sasori. I followed after him, reluctantly. I mean, really, why the hell does Sasori pamper his freaking puppets? This isn't funny. Maybe he's just making me look nice so that he can rape me after he made me a puppet. Ugh, nasty thought, never mind. Ah, well, at least Sasori's hot...
Soon, we were in Sasoris room again. Inside his bedroom was Deidara, glaring at Rika who was in his arms, tugging at his hair. I snorted.
"Yo, man lady. What's up?" I asked. Deidara looked up, glaring.
"Well, if it isn't Sasori-dannas little puppet friend, yeah!" he snarled. He got up and pushed Rika into Sasoris arms. He walked over to me and shoved me onto the bed in a sitting position.
"HEY. No touchie!" I said, flaring my arms out as Deidara walked over with a hairbrush. He glared and sat down behind me, brushing my hair roughly, "OWWW!! SON OF A-"
"Yokomo, shut up. Deidara's going to fix your hair." said Sasori calmly. My eyes popped out of my sockets.
"WHAT?? SINCE WHEN DO PUPPETS GET THEIR HAIR STYLED??? GET ME OUT OF THIS MADHOUSE, SASSHOLE!" I screamed. Rika started crying. Deidara began to braid my hair in a bun. My bangs hung at the sides of my face, framing it. I pouted.
"YOU KNOW, this isn't fair cause' I didn't WANT my hair done by your fag-ass friend, SASSHOLE!" I hissed. Deidara laughed and got off the bed to look at me. He whistled.
"Ya' better watch out for Saso-danna, yeah, Yokomo-baka!" said Deidara. Sasori whacked him on the head with a newspaper.
"Get out, Deidara." he said. Deidara frowned.
"FINE! DON'T say thanks to me, yeah!" he said. With a final huff, he stalked out of the room, muttering a string of colorful vocabulary. I smirked.
"Ne, Saso-teme! I think that he's hot for ya', ne?" I asked. Sasori threw the newspaper at me. I rubbed my head, "Owww...!"
Sasori smirked and adjusted the now sleeping Rika in his arms, "Hn, common, we have to get you clothes."
I glared, "Screw dat! I'd rather walk around in a towel than wear one of your gay-ass ugly cloaks!"
Sasori smirked, "Hn, well that's too bad. Your coming anyway."
Using the arm that wasn't carrying Rika, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me out the door through the hallway. I used my other hand to hold the towel in place. I glared at Sasoris back.
"YA know, Sasshole, I have human rights! Lemme go, ya douche!" I screamed. I was dragged into a large room, filled with beautiful kimonos... no wait... what's wrong with this?
"Holy fucking shitheads of Pluto! They're WEDDING kimonos!" I screeched. Some dude... no, that money dude! Yeah, him! He stepped from behind one of the racks of dresses and glared.
"Yes, they are wedding dresses. It makes me plenty of money, you know." he said. Oh, how typical. I glared.
"I better not be getting married to this shithead here!" I said, gesturing to Sasori with my now free arms. Money bags glared, again.
"No, you're not. But Sasori is paying tripple the price for one dress, so, that's why you're here." he said. He pointed to a stool, "Stand on it. NOW."
I glared and pointed at him, "Yeah, G-Money, I'm sorry, but I can't just let ya stip me! Shit, I don't even KNOW you!"
The man glared, "I'm measuring your size, although I'm sure you're too fat to fit in any of the dresses."
I glared, "Oh, can it, dip shit! I'll fit in your half ass dresses no problem!"
I walked over to the stool and stood on it. There were three full length mirrors in front of it. I could see myself in all different angles. The dude walked over and wrapped the measuring tape around my waist. He looked at the size, blinked twice, and then measured my height. Then, after he was done, he walked over to the dresses rack and pulled out a ruffly, pink dress. I snorted.
"What is this? I'm not a friggin debutante! It's not my coming out party!" I said. I heard Sasori mutter.
"I didn't know groundhogs day was coming early-"
"SHUT UP!" I yelled at Sasori. He smirked and I continued to yap off at Money bags.
"AND I have a strict rule against all ruffles, pink, frilly, lacy, slutty dresses, got that, G-Money?" I toled him, waving my finger. The dude rolled his eyes and pulled out a green and blue kimono with golden designs. I glared. It's still girly, but I don't see anything else that isn't pink, so.. "FINE!"
The dude rolled his eyes and tossed it to me. Then he pointed to a little cubicle, "Go change in there."
I scowled before truging to the changeroom, opening the door, stepping inside, and closing it behind me again. I checked for cameras and openings before changing. I very quickly took off the towel before pulling on the layers and layers of robes and tying the obi. I was careful not to ruin my hair. Deidara actually did a very good job... which scared me. I walked out, looking to my left and right. If anyone laughs, I swear to KAMI that I'll grab one of those frilly, pink dresses and force them to wear it. I stepped out shyly, even though I really didn't care. I'd get my revenge for this, later. Sasori raised an eyebrow and Kakuzu (I think) rolled his eyes. I glared.
"If I look terrible, I don't wanna hear it from neither of you! Now take me to a happy place before I open a can of whoop ass on yas!" I said. Sasori smirked and carefully freed one of his arms, careful not to wake up MY adopted child. Then, he did that dissapearing act, reappeared beside me, grabbed my arm, and then, we both dissapeared in a puff of smoke, leaving the Kakuzu.
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo
We reappeared in some candle lit room. I mean, there were candles EVERYWHERE. I looked around, as if checking for any evil bad guys. I glared at Sasori, who sat in front of me on a pillow, holding Rika. I glared.
"Yo, where the HELL are we?" I asked. Sasori looked up.
"Here." he said matter-of-factly. I twitched.
"You know, screw you, smartass!" I said. I plopped down on the mat below me, pouting. Sasori grinned.
"Hidan!" he called. Hidan? What? Isn't this the guy who was singing in the living room when I was on MII III? I snickered as he walked in front of me, blocking my veiw of Sasori. He sat down, a pissed look on his face. He looked over his shoulder at Sasori.
"Half ass pissface..!" he hissed at Sasori. He turned to me, glaring.
"Hmph. Close your eyes." he said. I glared.
"I don't like magic tricks, Count Chocola." I snarled. He glared.
"Fucking close your eyes." he said. I stuck my tounge out before closing my eyes. He began muttering some things. I could hear a soft jingling. Hm... very relaxing... very, very relaxing... I like it. I began to let myself relax. Suddenly, Hidan spoke.
"Clear your fucking mind..." he said. I twitched. Okay. Clear my mind... suddenly, this image apeared in my head. What was this? Hidan continued, "Imagine something that's probably downright fucking relaxing."
O-kay was this like some sort of... ugh... 'Find Your Happy Place' thing? I mean, like Yoga? Hm, I've always lied about knowing yoga... I guess now I won't be lying! It's actually relaxing... except for Hidans language, which is worse than mine.
"Relax..." he said. Suddenly, I could almost imagine myself flying. My (Annoyingly) long, red hair fluttering in the breeze. Oh, if you're wondering why I don't cut it, it's because I actually like it long. Anyway, I could feel myself flying. I felt free. It was relaxing! Suddenly, there was a little snapping sound. I opened my eyes to see the Hidan, glaring. I frowned.
"Over already?" I asked. He nodded.
"Get the hell out. I'm already pissed off with the fact that I fucking agreed to do that dip shit!" he snarled. Sasori stood up from behind Hidan and kneeled beside me.
"Let's go." he whispered. He pulled me up with his free arm, and, once again, dragged me out of the room.
I wonder what's going to happen next?
Next Chapter: Why?
Chapter 15 Preview:
Nah, this isn't a depressing chapter. It's more an annoying one, where I ask Sasori "WHY?"
And, I'm not going to stop asking that annoying question until I get an honest ANSWER.
Yeah, I know that it's pretty bad. And I know that I haven't updated in a while, too!
But, I hope this makes up for it! I worked my ass off thinking off ideas! This chapter's pretty long, ne?