Rubbing it in

I own nothing...

Some times I say things, do things, stupid things that I immediately regret. My mouth gets away from me and before I know it, I've got my foot firmly planted in it. I create these situations and then I have no idea how to get out of them. Some times, I confuse myself.

I can't ever just stop and think about it before I start spouting off nonsense. I do it, even though I know I'll hate myself for it later. It's like I just can't help it. It's a curse. Now, I'm kicking myself for it.

I couldn't leave well enough alone, I had to go and offer for Danielle and her new boyfriend to come to Detroit with us. Like fly with us, sitting across the aisle from us on the plane. And I reserved a room for them right across the hall from me and Angela. And they are not only coming to the show, they are going to sit in on the meet and greet, too.

So what's wrong with this? Why do I wish I'd just kept my fucking mouth shut? Because Dani's new boyfriend, this guy she thinks she's madly in love with, is Matt. Angela's ex boyfriend, Matt. The same guy that, just over four months ago, asked Angela to marry him.

Ok, I admit it. When I offered, I was a little bit more than pissed. We were at the Krakow's house for dinner. Not my idea, by the way. And Dani and Matt were there. Apparently, Brian is the one who had introduced Angela to Matt in the first place. Matt is one of Brain's colleagues, they work in the same office or something.

I was already irritated because, to be honest, the last thing I wanted to do was go to dinner at her friend Sharon's house. Then you throw in Brain Krakow and it only gets worse. And much to our surprise, Dani and Matt were there when we got there.

I sat there, all through dinner, with a scowl on my face. Angela kept giving me dirty looks. Sharon ignored me and Matt and Brian talked to each other most of the time. Dani just stared at Matt. Jay and Patrick scarfed down their food and went outside to play.

Once dinner was over, we all went into the den for conversation. It was more like the women were gossiping and Matt and Brian were talking about some convention they were attending in a few weeks. I just sat beside Angela, pretending to listen, nodding every now and then.

After about 20 minutes of torture, I excused myself and went out to the backyard where Jay and Patrick were playing catch. I leaned against the porch rail and watched them throw the ball back and forth, discussing the batting averages for the Phillies players. It kinda reminded me of when I was little, how me and Shane used to play catch. 'Cause Jay does look just like I did at that age, but Patrick was Brian Krakow made over. Curly blond hair and all. Luckily for him, he was a little more athletic than Brian the Brain, he must have got that from Sharon.

With it being warm out, I had worn shorts and sneakers. Mostly because I refused to dress up for an informal dinner that I didn't even want to go to, so I offered to play catch with the boys. We took turns throwing the ball to each other, just talking about baseball and stuff. I even offered to take the boys to see the Phillies play the Pirates in a few weeks. It made them happy.

We stayed in the yard so long that it had started to get dark. Patrick was thirsty so we all headed back inside. Everyone was still in the den talking when I entered the room. Dani, who was sitting beside Matt on the loveseat, was talking about going to see us play in Atlanta. She was telling them about me jumping into the crowd during The Kill.

She said, "I thought the girls were going to attack him. They were pulling on his shirt and grabbing at him. I don't know how Angela kept herself calm. I think it would drive me crazy, to have all those hands all over my boyfriend."

Angela just laughs. "It's not a big deal. I know he's just performing. Those fangirls don't bother me."

Sitting back down beside her on the sofa, I watched Matt as I put my arm around her shoulders and drew her into my side. He didn't look too pleased. Good. "That's just it, they're fans. She knows who I come home to." She knows it means nothing.

"Well, Jordan, when you jumped off the stage and onto the guardrail, I thought you were going to break your neck. And it's crazy how you just walk over the top of the crowd. Do they like hold you up or something?" asks Dani. She seems to be fascinated with the whole rockstar thing.

Chuckling, I say, "I've done it so many times that I don't even think about it. The security guards know when I'm about to do it, so they kinda watch for it. They'll catch me if I fall. And when I tell the crowd to move closer, it's so that when I do go out, there's more than one person holding me up. I'm not really walking over them as much as they're passing me around."

Brian looks at me like I'm crazy. "Jordan, you're nuts. Why would you put yourself at risk like that. Anything could happen. You could get hurt, like break a leg or something. Have you ever hurt one of the fans with that stupid stunt?"

"Not that I know of. But if that were to happen, I'd gladly take care of them. I'm sure all our fans know what to expect by now." Leave it to a doctor to point that out to me.

"Well, I think it's just crazy. You're a 34 year old man. Why would you get up on stage and act like that? Screaming and jumping around. Stage diving. Jumping in the crowd. I don't see the appeal of it. The fans actually like that kind of thing?" Matt says. Asshole.

"Matt! Jordan is awesome. Obviously you've never seen Residue perform. They put on a great show. And really, does it matter how old he is? He looks like he's 25. You're his age and you look a lot older than him. Besides, the fans love it." Dani was the first one to speak up.

"Brian and I have seen them perform since we were kids. They've always done stuff like that. It's not that bad, Matt." Sharon says. "Jordan's done it so long, he knows what he's doing."

"Jordan is a good singer. He doesn't just get up there and scream. And he plays the guitar and the keyboard, too. He's really a good musician." Brian jumps in. I'm actually a little surprised that they're sticking up for me.

"I guess I'm not a fan of his type of music. Why would I want to go and cram myself up against all those lunatics, jumping around and acting crazy? Just so I could listen to someone scream out the words to songs that I didn't really like? It used to drive me crazy when I would ride with Angela. She always had their music on in the car." Matt sits back on the sofa, crossing his arms. I guess he was trying to needle me or something. It worked.

"Whatever. You don't have to like us. I know that everyone is different. So you like to listen to elevator music or something?" He doesn't have to be an ass on purpose.

"No, but I do like classical music and Jazz. I've never been a fan of Rock N' Roll, so don't take it personal." He continues to stare at me and Angela. "I listened to it when I was with Angela because that's what she wanted. I tried to get her to listen to other stuff, but she wouldn't."

"She's always been one of our biggest fans. And our songs have a deeper meaning for her than most because they're her songs." He's a real dick.

"What do you mean, her songs?" Is he that stupid?

Sharon speaks up. "Jordan writes all their songs. He's been writing songs for Angela since we were in high school."

"I never understood why Angela was so stuck on you like that." Matt smirks, saying, "I'm glad Dani doesn't have a crazy rockstar ex husband who acts half his age."

Everyone in the room picks up on his last comment and it's intention. Dani turns to frown at Matt and he just shrugs. Angela shakes her head, sighing loudly. Brian and Sharon share a strained look.

I can tell they were all waiting for me to say something to him. And I did, just not what they expected.

"Matt, we're playing Detroit on Friday. Why don't you and Dani tag along with us?" What the hell?

Dani lets out a squeal. I can't help but laugh. "Really, Jordan? You guys are so awesome. I was telling Angela yesterday that she should bring me. It's not fair that she gets to go to any show she wants."

"Yeah, I'll get you a room and everything. That way Matt can see exactly what it is that I do." God, why did I do that? "He can see first hand what the appeal is or whatever. Maybe then he'll understand why Angela likes it so much." Shrugging, I pretend that I'm not bothered by it at all.

Not long after, we make our excuses and leave. By the end of the evening, Angela was just as ready to leave as I was. To say that it was getting uncomfortable was putting it lightly.

So, in a nutshell, that's how I came to be sitting in the tour van with Angela, her sister and her ex boyfriend. Matt hadn't said too much since we got to the airport back in Pennsylvania. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at the moment. Dani and Angela are talking and laughing. I'm pretending to be busy on my blackberry.

I have no interest in having any kind of conversation with him. I've never liked him and it's obvious that he still has a thing for Angela. She doesn't see it, though. I hate the thought that he's using Danielle like that. She and I have never been close, but she is like a kid sister to me. I mean, I'd been around her since she was 12 years old.

When we get to the hotel, we all pile out of the van. Grabbing our bags, we head inside. Janet had already checked us in and she was waiting with our room keys. Normally we would have gotten a suite, but there was not a chance in hell that I was staying with Matt, so I reserved two rooms down the hall from Shane and Tommy. After being in his presence for hours, watching him watch Angela when he thought no one else was looking, I just wanted to get away from him.

After we check into our rooms, Janet rushes us back to the van so that we can get to the stadium for the meet and greet. Once again, I'm running a little behind, so when I get there Shane and Tommy are already waiting for me.

As I'm signing for the fans, talking to them, I watch Angela and Danielle try to draw Matt out of his shell. He seems to be miserable. He looks sullen and withdrawn. Almost like he's sulking. Dani's enthusiasm is obviously getting on his nerves, too. I see Angela shrug and turn away from him to talk to Janet. Dani turns her back to him, too.

After a while, some of the fans notice Angela and go over to talk to her. In the beginning this would have bothered her, but she doesn't seem to have a problem with it today. She's laughing with them and she even lets them take a picture with her. For the rest of the meet and greet, Angela talks with the fans. Dani and Matt both sit quietly watching her.

After we wrap up, we immediately head to sound check, leaving Angela and the happy couple behind. The next time I see them is when we're walking out on stage. They're sitting on the side of the stage, just behind the curtain. Angela was sitting between Matt and Danielle. I know something must have happened, but I don't have time to worry about it now. Pushing them from my thoughts, I greet the audience.

"Well, hello, Detroit! How the hell are you?" As the crowd cheers, I glance over toward them again. Angela is frowning at Matt, shaking her head. I can't let them distract me. I'll just have to deal with it after the show. Turning back to the audience, I say, "Let's get this thing started!"

Shane starts to beat out Battle of One and I lose myself in the song. We work our way through the first set, then Shane and Tommy take a break. Grabbing my guitar, I pull a stool up to the mic and sit down. I play a few songs, talk to the crowd and then I signal to Tommy who is standing just off stage. He comes out to sit beside me with his guitar.

I say to the crowd, "We're going to play a new song for you guys tonight. We've never played it on stage before. I wrote this a while back, when things weren't going so well for me. Since that time, things have turned around. I guess you could say that I got back up again."

With Tommy sitting beside me, we start to play Alibi. As I sing the words, I glance over to Angela. She's smiling at me. She mouths "I love you." Smiling back at her, I continue to sing, turning back to the crowd.

After we finish, Shane comes back out and we wrap up the show. "Thank you, Detroit! You guys were awesome. Good night!" Laying my guitar down, I walk toward Angela. When I get to her, she wraps her arms around me, hugging me.

Looking over her shoulder, I see Matt frown. Dani must have seen it to, because she says, "Damn it, Matt. What the hell is your problem? Why did you even bother to come if you're going to act like this the whole time?"

"I didn't want to come. The only reason I did was because you kept on about." Crossing his arms over his chest, Matt says, "I told you I didn't even like Jordan. You thought I actually wanted to come to one of his concerts?"

Angela pulls away and turns back to Matt and Dani. "Matt! God, that was totally uncalled for." I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

"Well, you know I don't like him. I've never liked him. And then you and your sister made me come and sit through this." Matt frowns at Angela. "It's bad enough that you were carrying on with him the whole time we were together, you don't have to rub it in my face that you're with him again."

Danielle grabs his arm to make him look at her. "That's not what she's doing at all. She's not rubbing it in your face. She's happy. You can't get mad at her for that. I thought you were over her anyway."

"What? It's not supposed to bother me that the woman I spent the past three years in love with, the one who was always in love with her ex husband, is now back with him and flaunting it in my face." Matt turns to scowl at me. "If you had just left her alone, she would have gotten over you and she'd be wearing my ring now instead of yours."

"Hold on a minute. We're not flaunting anything in your face. You're with Dani now, right? And Angela and I were together long before you ever came into the picture. We have history together. We have a child together. And we love each other." I know Angela can tell I'm getting pissed because she slips her arm around my waist, kinda putting herself between us.

"Matt, just stop, ok. My sister doesn't deserve this from you." Angela says to him, looking at Dani who looks like she's about to cry.

"It's ok, Angela. I thought maybe after a while he would get over you. I guess I was wrong." Danielle walks off the stage and heads for the dressing room.

Matt doesn't even try to go after her. "Why did you ask me to come here, Jordan? Was it really so that I could see the show? Or were you trying to prove to me that you have her and I never will?"

"I wasn't trying to prove anything. I don't have to. I hate to point it out, but she broke up with you long before we got back together." I seriously want to punch him in the face, but we're still standing on the side of the stage and I really don't want to deal with the fall out if someone takes pictures. "And just for the record, you're a real ass for treating Danielle this way."

Angela puts both of her arms around my waist. I'm guessing she thinks I might charge him or something. "Matt, I think it would be best if you just got your things from the hotel and headed back to Three Rivers. Your return ticket is already taken care of. Just leave Danielle alone, ok?"

"Fine. But your sister is the one who pursued me, not the other way around. I never really liked her that much anyway." Matt turns to go.

Before I can stop myself, I reach out and put my hand on his shoulder. "Matt, leave Angela alone, too. We are back together and nothing is going to come between us."

Matt never turns around, he just pulls away and starts walking down the hall toward the exit door.

"Oh my god. How weird was that?" With a total look of disbelief on her face, Angela lays her head on my shoulder.

"Yeah, well, I saw it coming a mile away. I'm just sorry that Dani had to be the one to get hurt. Maybe we should go check on her." Taking her hand, we walk backstage toward the dressing room.

Shane and Danielle are the only ones in the room when we get there. The first thing I notice is how close they're sitting on the sofa. The second thing? Shane can't seem to stop looking at Dani. What surprises me most is that Dani is laughing and joking around with Shane. She doesn't seem that upset at all.

I gotta say, I'm just glad that we got the whole Matt thing done and over with. Maybe now he'll realize that he never really had a chance with Angela because she's been mine the whole time.

Review please!