Note: I'll tell you about my wonderful plan of getting this story done with 20 chapters. First, there will be one more chapter centered around Pigwarts and tying up most loose ends. Then there will be one or two chapters mostly about Hermione&Draco, and the last chapters will be dedicated to Harry&Ginny's wedding. Pigwarts is going to be mentioned (almost) in every chapter, but only the next will be all about it. Which means it would be nice if you told me what other aspects of Pigwarts would you like me to write about. :)
Of course, all good plans tend to go awry. :P
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Disclaimer: Just because both Harry Potter and Heptagon start with an H doesn't mean I own it. ;)
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The Founding of Pigwarts II – Cooking Chaos
Chapter 14: How To Lose Forbidden Forest
Ginny was drawing a bee. But not just any bee. Ginny was drawing a Weaselbee. She had already finished Malfly and Hermiowlie, and had still to create a lovely Phottonix. Although she was also toying with the idea of a Squharriel, if only to make him wear Colin on regular bases. And that sounded weird even to herself. Oh well.
She was in the middle of colouring the Weaslebee's wings yellow, when a characteristic thump by her side indicated Daphne's arrival (and she would have recognized it even without the much louder thump, and screaming of people who wanted milk in their tea, not cow).
Ginny continued her masterpiece, though, waiting for the other girl to start talking. The fact that she didn't alerted the Gryffindor of probable trouble. With a grin, she pushed the parchment away. Nothing was better than probable trouble. Especially when it happened to someone else.
"Yes?" she turned to her accomplice. "What's wrong?"
"Oh!" Daphne exclaimed with a smile. "Nothing. I'm fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine…"
All those 'fines'became softer and softer, the one before the last spoken in mere whisper, and the last nothing more than a movement of lips.
"You echo," Ginny stated.
"Oh! Sorry about that, that, that, that, that, that…"
"You still echo. But no worries, it sounds rather cool for now, although it's destined to become hellishly annoying later. So, what happened?"
"Well," Daphne began rather cheerfully. "Something really horrible."
"Yes?" Ginny prompted her curiously.
"I stole the Forbidden Forest!" she announced.
The Gryffindor stared at her for a while, trying to decide whether she should ask for an explanation, or whether it would make her look stupid. In the end she chose not to ask; after all, she could figure it all out by herself.
As it was, people stole things, and Daphne was counted among people (no matter how hard they protested); therefore Daphne stole things. The Forbidden Forest was a thing (a huge thing with lots of trees, Centaurs, spiders, unicorns, and other magical creatures, but still a thing), therefore Daphne could steal it.
The 'how' could be answered very simply, as well – there was this little thing called magic, after all. The 'why' was a bit more tricky, but she hoped the Slytherin would tell her that even without her asking.
"Oh?" the redhead said at last, acting as if things like that happened every day. Recently they did.
"Yes. And that's great. Because now that Grawp can still keep an eye on the forest, he will be happy to join us."
"Oh!"
"But then the horrible terrible just downright awful thing happened!" Daphne explained with a bright smile.
"Yes?"
"I lost the Forbidden Forest."
Ginny tried to apply the same logic, starting with 'people lost things' but decided it was not good to overuse it.
"You lost the Forbidden Forest?" she asked incredulously.
"Yes. Or… if the word 'lost' causes you anxiety and distress, feel free to use the term 'misplaced' instead."
"You misplaced the Forbidden Forest?" she reworded her question.
"Yes."
"Where did you misplace it?"
"Well," Daphne began. "If I knew where I misplaced it, I could go back there and un-misplace it, then go and place it to the right spot. As it is, I don't know where I misplaced it."
"You lost an entire forest without even noticing it?"
Daphne had the grace if not to blush then at least look slightly abashed.
"Yes."
"But it's big," Ginny couldn't help but mention. "I mean, it's a forest. It's big. Huge. Colossal. Great. Enormous. And all that."
"It was big," the Slytherin corrected. "But then I shrunk it."
"You shrunk an entire forest!" the redhead exclaimed in wonder. "All by yourself! That's powerful magic!"
"Not quite all by myself," Daphne admitted, turning to the cow. "Dean helped."
"Moo," said the cow.
Ginny stared at it.
"How can a cow help you shrink a forest? And why in Merlin's pink underwear is he still a cow?"
"Moral support. And your spell did not work."
"Of course my spells work!" Ginny exclaimed indignantly.
"It might work now, but it didn't work then. As you may see."
"Moo," said the cow.
"Are you sure you said it right? And are you sure you really forgave him?" Ginny inquired.
"Yes for both."
"Perhaps you forgave him consciously, but not subconsciously. There is a difference," she said wisely.
"Yeah," the other girl agreed. "Consciously doesn't have a sub in front of it."
"But," Daphne went on, "I really don't see what the big thing is here. I mean, there is really no reason for me to be angry with him, with sub or without it. I'm more than used to getting rejected for being a Slytherin, or for being crazy, or for being a crazy Slytherin. It stopped bothering me a long time ago."
"Ah, but perhaps you only thought it stopped bothering you," Ginny stated with her best Freudish expression, which was a fantastic try from someone who had never seen nor heard anything about Freud ever before.
"Or perhaps it's you who can't forgive him," Daphne countered.
"Me? I have nothing to do with this."
"Oh, sure you do. Didn't you use to date him at one time? Perhaps you're jealous?"
"Jealous! Me!" Ginny exclaimed. "I'm going to marry Harry in less than two weeks."
"So?" Daphne argued. "It didn't stop you from kissing Crabbe on the front page of the Daily Prophet."
Her Gryffindor friend let out a loud gasp.
"Even if I still liked Dean," she growled. "Why should I be jealous? He dumped you."
"You're right, he did," Daphne answered calmly. "But he follows me now, not you."
"That's only because he wants you to change him back."
"Oh, I don't know. I think he rather enjoys being a cow. Less pressure."
Both girls looked simultaneously at the subject of their talk.
"Moo," said the cow.
"Although," Daphne added, "he's still a bit shy about milking."
"Moo!" said the cow.
When they both turned away after a couple of moments, Ginny frowned in thought.
"What were we talking about?"
"About me stealing the Forbidden Forest. And then misplacing it."
"Okay. Well, we just have to find it then. Where did you go between stealing it and noticing you have misplaced it?"
"First there was this meeting of CIA, Crumple-horned International Association. There was Nils Nilsson there, and Per Persson," she spoke with enthusiasm and energetic gestures, the meaning of which, if they had one, Ginny didn't know.
"And what was the point of it?" she asked instead, a bit apprehensive, as if not sure whether she really wanted to know or not.
"It's all about Crumple-horned Snorcacks, and other such things. But that's not the point. The point is that Nils Nilsson is single. And handsome. And tall. And looks like some ancient God. And then of course, Per Persson…" Daphne ended her sentence there, but gave a sigh which said more than hundred words, although the Slytherin wasn't usually one to sigh like that, or let pass an opportunity to rant and rave.
Of course, there was one more thing bothering Ginny.
"How many Nils Nilssons were there?" she inquired. "Is it some kind of a requirement that you can only join CIA when that's your name? I mean, if there was one per person…"
Daphne stared at her for a moment like she was crazy. Then she screwed up her face like she was crazy herself. In the end she burst out laughing, not refuting the idea of her being insane. But that was no news to Ginny, although she wouldn't have minded hearing about the joke so that she could join in.
"No," Daphne spoke at last, breathless. "There was not a Nils Nilsson per person. There was this one guy, rather yummy, called Nils Nilsson, and then there was this other guy, rather delicious as well, called Per Persson. And then there were a bunch of other people, but they were either all female, old, or married. Or all three."
"I'd choose Nils Nilsson if I were you," Ginny advised, "you wouldn't want to be called Mrs. Per Persson after all, do you?"
"You might be right," Daphne added.
"Moo," said the cow, and there was something about its way and tone which told that it didn't think much of both Swedes. No matter how sweet they might have looked.
"So there was the meeting of CIA. Anything else?" Ginny wondered.
"I went to see Charming Terry Boot."
"And were you Charmed?"
"By that porridge-face?" Daphne exclaimed. "He was polite and everything, but you know what they say. Once a porridge-face, always a porridge-face."
"That happened ages ago," Ginny protested. "And it was an accident. You can't dislike him just because he fell asleep at breakfast table one morning and fell into his porridge."
"He did? So that's way Draco was calling him a porridge-face," Daphne realized. "I thought it referred to his unstylish high-and-mighty attitude."
"And he is of course the best person accusing someone for being high-and-mighty," the redhead muttered.
"Not high-and-mighty," Daphne corrected. "Tastelessly high-and-mighty. There is a difference."
"Yes. One has tastelessly in front of it, and the other doesn't," Ginny agreed.
"Moo," said the cow, and it was glaringly obvious it didn't think too highly of Terry Boot either.
"If I didn't know better," the Gryffindor stated, tilting her head towards the black-and-white animal, "I'd say Dean here is jealous."
"Moo!" the cow protested and blushed.
"Aww, that's so sweet!" Daphne smiled at it, making it blush and moo again.
"Cut it out!" Ginny snapped her fingers in front of her accomplice's face to get her attention. "Back to that lost, no, misplaced Forbidden Forest part. Couldn't we just Accio it back, wherever it is?"
"Accio Forbidden Forest?" Daphne tried out the sound of it. "But what if it only accio's the forest and not the glass ball?"
"So?"
"It's only small inside that ball."
"I see what you mean," Ginny nodded, thinking how it would be like if the whole big, huge, colossal, great, enormous forest was flying towards them. "Accio the glass ball that has Forbidden Forest inside it?"
"What if there are more then one of such glass balls?" Daphne was concerned.
"Did you make copies of it?"
"No, but…"
"How about accio the glass ball into which Daphne Dolcetta Greengrass put the Forbidden Forest that grew beside the ruins of Hogwarts to be able to lure Grawp into Malfoy Manor where she and Ginevra Molly Weasley, soon to be Potter, are founding a new Wizarding School called Pigwarts to teach music there once the new Wizarding School called Pigwarts is opened?" Ginny made a pause to breathe.
"Detailed enough?" she asked sarcastically.
"Fine with me," Daphne shrugged, and drew her wand.
"Accio my ass," Ginny muttered to herself, but unfortunately the other girl heard it and considered it worth a try.
What followed was lots of screaming from the Gryffindor, though somewhat muffled since the spell had placed her on the table, her face in Daphne's pancakes, lots of giggles from Daphne, who for some reason found the situation funny, lots of mooing from the cow, who decided to express its opinion about all this, and lots of shuffling from those people, who hadn't managed to escape the café just yet, but now made it their number one priority.
It took a while until everything was back to normal, or at least until Ginny was back in her seat, her face no longer hosting a fair share of her friend's (although the use of that phrase was questionable at the moment) lunch, and had stopped screaming, giving the Slytherin the chance to finally try that Accio.
Accio the glass ball into which Daphne Dolcetta Greengrass put the Forbidden Forest that grew beside the ruins of Hogwarts to be able to lure Grawp into Malfoy Manor where she and Ginevra Molly Weasley, soon to be Potter, are founding a new Wizarding School called Pigwarts to teach music there once the new Wizarding School called Pigwarts is opened, to be precise.
It must have been the moral support Dean was giving her once again, since the moment the misplaced Forbidden Forest came into view, they both realized how powerful her spell must have been to bring it to them.
"Grawp watch the forest," the Giant nodded, his feet sliding over the floor, then over the cow while his head was drawing a furrow into the ceiling, at last coming to a halt before their table.
"Wow," said Ginny.
"Moo," said the cow.
"Holy Anaconda!" said Daphne, staring at the glass ball which was now displaying some rather nifty cracks in it.
"Grab the Giant and Apparate!" she ordered. "It's going to hatch!"
Deciding the instructions were too weird to think about, Ginny did exactly that, and in three and a quarter seconds the loud crack of Apparition took them from the little café in Diagon Alley to the little café now standing in the middle of the Forbidden Forest.
"Erm," Ginny said, letting go of Grawp and peeking outside into the wilderness of the woods.
"Not what I had in mind," Daphne admitted. "Though it's still a fine place for a café. Provides food, drink, and rest to all those who get lost in the forest."
"Not lost," Ginny corrected. "Misplaced."
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