AN: I'm not at all satisfied with this chapter, but here it is for all it's worth. I needed to get the kids out of the wilds of upstate New York SOMEHOW so that the real theatre fun could start. Not as funny as past chapters, but it does open a bit of a window into the strange way Christine's mind works (and how well she will eventually fit in with this little band of freaks). And Charlotte gets to do more than sleep and bitch - Meg, unfortunately, is still background noise.

Disclaimer: None of the characters from any incarnation of Phantom of the Opera belong to me. Nor am I affiliated with Facebook. Any musicals, books, plays, movies, people or places referenced by me are the property of their respective owners. I am making no money off the utilization of anything with a copyright.

I'm all alone
All by myself
There is no one here beside me
I'm all alone
Quite, all alone
No one to comfort me or guide me
Why is there no one here with me
On the long and winding road?

-Spamalot

Funnily enough, dressing statues up in people clothes was strangely exciting. Christine honestly thought that the real adrenaline-pumping highlight of the trip was going to be the non-setting off of fireworks, but it was oddly thrilling to just stand defiantly on a sidewalk, tying scarves around the bronzed necks of long-dead womens' rights activists. Especially when families walked by, giving them questioning, 'Is what they're doing allowed?' glances. Because Christine didn't know, and she didn't think anyone else did and it made her feel oddly brazen and devil-may-care to look back at them with a defiant expression of, 'What, we're dressing up statues, what are you gonna do about that, huh? Nothing, you ain't nothing. And what?'

It was clear that she really needed to get out more.

Erik had given them all a brief, rallying speech about their actions on this historic day. Oh yeah, he used the phrase 'historic day' and clambered up to the roof of the van to address them all, like...Caesar or someone important who liked to stand on things to deliver messages. Christine was relieved to find him in such good spirits in the morning, it seemed that he and Ahmed had worked out their little spat after she went to bed, which was awesome, it sucked when friends fought. And it definitely sucked worse when acquaintances you were roadtripping with fought, because it wasn't like you were informed enough to take sides or lend a sympathetic ear. Christine was still wondering what the big deal was, yeah, Erik probably should have been more careful, but she just wanted to laugh after he went all Judy Garland on them, since he was up and joking, so that meant he was okay, didn't it? Sure. Only Ahmed hadn't seen it that way and she didn't feel comfortable enough to ask either of them why. When she broached the subject with Meg and Charlotte in the restroom at the rest stop, both of them just sighed and said there wasn't any point trying to analyze it since Ahmed got annoyed when Erik did stupid things and Erik did stupid things to annoy Ahmed. It was their thing. How they worked, they said and it wasn't like Christine was going to argue the point, especially since everything seemed fine in the morning, Ahmed even gave Erik one of his McDonald's pancakes and McDonald's had the best instant-pancakes ever, so that was just brotherhood right there.

Oh, but yes, back to Erik's speech, which was stirring and dramatic. What they were doing was not defacement, he said, since the clothes, hats and wigs would be removed poste-haste once the pictures were taken. It was like...environmentally conscious temporary vandalism. They were just borrowing the statues for a space of time long enough to properly clothe, enjoy and save for all eternity on a digital camera. What if there was some kind of freak lightening strike that melted the statue to nothing the night after they left Seneca Falls? Then they would have a record of the statue's last moments, as it was...well, its last moments in a cowboy hat and Ronald McDonald wig, but still, the image was captured for all posterity to look at and wonder.

Okay, so remembering it back to herself, it wasn't actually the most heart-rending, inspirational speech ever given, but at the time Erik was declaiming from the top of the van, she had been fairly enthralled. He was just a really persuasive speaker, something about the conviction in his voice and steely glint in his eyes that made her sit up a little straighter and think, Yeah, we're totally performing a service, here. Once the pictures were taken and they moved on to their next victim, naturally, the excitement of the moment dipped a little. They were less avenging warriors with boas and sequins and more...bored teenagers disrespecting history and being really annoying to people just out to enjoy the scenery. It was quite a picturesque little town, really and they were just...momentarily enhancing it. Yeppers. No vigilantes in this crowd. Just stylists.

Erik, Freddy and Armand were really the ringleaders of their little troupe, the girls did a lot of handing props and making suggestions, but they seemed to know what they wanted on what lady and they were very focused on the task at hand. So focused that Erik didn't notice when tinny-sounding music began to issue from his back pocket, he didn't stop winding a long strand of fake pearls around the wrist of the statue he was working on. Neither Freddy nor Ahmed seemed aware either.

Mercifully, Charlotte paused from applying sunscreen to her arms to say, "Erik, your butt's ringing."

"Can you answer it?" he asked, eyes trained on the arrangement of shiny white balls.

"Oh fuck no, I'm not going near that."

Sighing as though Charlotte was being unreasonable for refusing to cop a feel while searching for the source of the sound, Erik let go of his costume jewelry and squinted at the touch-screen. "Oh, for gods sake, Maddy," he grumbled, pressing some section of the phone that Christine at first thought was the 'off' button...until he thrust the phone at her. "Here, Christine, talk to my mom," he said absently, going back to what he was doing before his mother decided to call him, of all the inconvenient things a mother could do to her son.

Christine caught the phone awkwardly, staring at it for a minute as though she'd never seen anything quite like it (technically she hadn't – she'd never actually used an iPhone before). How was she supposed to talk into it? Not wanting to look like an idiot, she just sort of held the phone kind of near her mouth and said, hesitantly, "Um...hi?"

Fortunately, Madeline had an unnecessarily loud phone voice, so Christine had no problem understanding what Erik's mom was saying. "Hello? Who is this? Meg?"

"Um, no, hi, I'm Christine. I'm...going to go to school with Erik and...everyone. In the fall." Had Erik ever mentioned her to his mom? She couldn't see why he would. Yeah, okay, she'd mentioned Erik to her dad, but he was really interesting. She was incredibly boring, what would Erik ever have to say about her?

"Oh, Christine! Erik said you were going along and he said you sang just beautifully at your audition!"

Oh. Well. That was unexpected. Nice, but unexpected. "Um. Thanks."

"I'm Madeline, it's nice you talk to you – he does this a lot, don't feel singled out, I talk to his friends on the phone more than I talk to him. He's alright, isn't he? He's eating, right? Ahmed – can you pass me to Ahmed? Only he makes sure Erik eats."

"Uh..." Christine's eyes flickered up to Ahmed who was fastening a large feather boa around Elizabeth Cady Stanton's neck. "Um. Erik's eating. He...Ahmed got him a burger last night. And a milkshake."

"Well, that's new. Good though, he doesn't eat, I've been trying to fix that about him for years. So, Christine, are you having a good time?"

"Uh..." This was starting to get repetitive. Erik's mom was going to think she was an idiot. Or hard of hearing. Or that English was her second language. The last two options, though not entirely desirable, were definitely better than having Erik's mom – Madeline? Christine didn't so much do calling adults by their first names – think she was the Missing Link. "Um yes, I'm having a lot of fun. It's...been a lot of fun. And a lot of driving." Wow. Alert the media. Christine Daee was officially the single most boring, least intelligible person on the planet and now one of her brand new friend's parents was going to know that and they'd just strand her in Schroon Lake with the cannibals.

But Madeline did not demand that they sacrifice her to the hill people. On the contrary, she laughed (an unexpectedly pleasant sound in Christine's anxiety-riddled mind) and said, "Yeah, I can't stand road trips myself, I hate being stuck in a car for so long. If it was possible to fly to the mall and back, I'd do it to cut down on travel time -"

And then Christine could breathe again when Erik plucked the phone from her fingers with a hastily mouthed, 'Thanks.' Turning his back on the group, he set a stray beret on his head and started talking quickly into the phone. "Okay, woman, what is it that you want?"

Meg sidled up next to Christine, giving her a conspiratorial grin. "Maddy will talk your ear off if you let her, it's a good thing that Erik saved you."

"Oh..." Christine started hesitantly, not thinking that it would be great etiquette to insult someone else's mother after a thirty second phone conversation. "Um. She seemed nice."

Snorting, Meg saw right through the other girl's ruse. "Uh, yeah, that's one word you can use to describe her. She's nuts, I mean, she means well, but she's just...crazy. You'll meet her before long, you'll see where Erik gets it -"

"Shut the fuck up please," Erik called over his shoulder. "Okay, yeah, Mom, we're fine. Alive and everything, we'll be home tomorrow. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm sure. Okay. Okay. Yes. No. Fine. We're fine. Yes, Ahmed is making me eat. It's like Iron Jawed Angels up here. Okay. Okay. Yes. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye. Yes, I love you too, Mama. Okay. Bye. Seriously this time." And then he hung up, finding himself face to face with Freddy's wicked grin.

"Aw, Erik loves his mommy!"

Raising one eyebrow sardonically, Erik shot back, "And you don't?"

Feigning a look of utmost horror Freddy replied, "Of course I love your mom! Your mom is fabulous! I want to become your mom someday! When I was in third grade, the teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said Madeline Theroux."

Ahmed snorting and shook his head at that as Charlotte elaborated for Christine's sake, "Yeah, it's funny because it's true. And Erik kicked his chair. And got sent to the principle's office for abusing the furniture."

"I was a rebel without a cause," Erik remarked without irony on his misspent youth. "Okay, kids, one more picture and then I think we should pack up and ship out."

Christine really just wasn't sure what she thought about this bunch. She'd had idle fantasies whilst packing, bonding with people over just silly roadtrip things, like reaching 100,000 miles in the car or whatever and taking pictures of people sitting in the back of the car or getting a flat and...bonding over that. It wasn't that she expected that they would be best of friends...she just sort of hoped they would be. Friends, anyway, and now she didn't really know what had happened. Were they friends? Well...no, Christine didn't think so. But were they acquaintances? She wasn't sure. More than acquaintances, less than friends? That kind of...sucked, to be honest. But the weekend was rapidly ending and Christine didn't feel like she was going to be walking into St Mary's with ready-made friends – and to be perfectly honest, she wasn't sure any of them were actually friends either.

Maybe it was a bad thing that she had a penchant to over analyze everything, but the way they all acted toward one another was not particularly friendly. Actually, they seemed to barely tolerate one another and that was a little nerve-wracking. Christine was never really certain whether or not they were kidding or actually meant all of the...frankly, mean things they said to one another. She didn't act that way with her friends from high school. Granted, she didn't have too many friends in high school and those numbers had dwindled further once the summer started. She would get kind of close with kids she was in shows with, but those were more working relationships than actual friendships. It seemed like everyone she had gone roadtripping with had...something beyond a working relationship, certainly, but it didn't seem like they were overjoyed to be here. Yet they'd all gone, willingly, and aside from Charlotte, no one was complaining very much.

It was weird, she concluded. And they were weird and maybe she was weird in that she had gotten all caught up in Erik's statue speech and then yesterday she'd run off to set off store bought fireworks, but now things were clearing up for her...or not. Things seemed clearer when she was just going with the flow and not stepping back to think about things. At least she'd been participating, now she was just standing on the fringes of their conversation, frowning a bit to herself as she watched Freddy and Erik try to one-up each other with ever more elaborate 'your mom' jokes.

"Okay, this is fucking stupid," Charlotte interrupted, walking between them and dismantling the statues' costumes. "I am officially leading a coup. Christine, Meg, come on, it's time to bring down the sausage-fest regime. Who's with me?"

"I am!" Meg called out gleefully, giving Christine an encouraging nudge on the arm.

"Um..." Christine said for about the seventy-fifth time that day. "Yes! Um." Seventy-six. "Long live...vaginas?"

There was a brief moment of silence before Charlotte dropped the cowboy hat she removed from Amelia Bloomer's head and threw her arms around Christine. "Damn straight!" she cried gleefully. "Oh, honey, I knew you'd turn out to be one of us eventually."