"Ah, I feel it, it has disappeared,
Forever gone love's happiness!
Nevermore will come the hour of bliss
Back to my heart!
See, Tamino, these tears,
Flowing, beloved, for you alone!
If you don't feel the longing of love
Then there will be peace in death!"
Ach, ich fühl¹s
Chapter Thirteen
Fasten your seatbelts...
This chapter is dedicated to TarjaRocksMyWinterStorm for the EPIC computer background she made me. 3
I groaned as I woke. Every limb of my body ached. I felt like a zombie, and the mirror affirmed that I looked like one, too. My face was very pale, and dark circles were beneath my tired-looking eyes. Splashing my face with cold water, I struggled to wake. The reason behind my exhaustion was undoubtedly due to my journeys between two different worlds. Even though Erik's world was not real, my brain was still remaining active while I slept. Every day was beginning to be a fight to keep from collapsing.
I knew without looking at the clock that I would be late again if I did not leave within the next twenty minutes. I stepped into the shower and turned it on as cold as it would go, trying to bathe quickly in spite of my shivering. To distract myself, I started to sing a song Erik had recently taught me.
"Ach, ich fühl's, es ist verschwunden,
Ewig hin der Liebe Glück!"
I couldn't continue after those first two lines, for my own voice horrified me. It sounded ethereal and effortless… not like my voice at all. I hardly recognized it, only… it sounded like my voice when I was dreaming.
Quickly, I turned off the shower and wrapped my freezing frame in my towel. How could my voice be changing? No aspects of my dreams were carried over into reality except for this one remarkable attribute. I didn't sing in this world; music belonged to the night, in my mind.
I looked into the mirror one more time, and I could have sworn that I saw a pair of gold eyes looking back at me. I shook my head and turned away. What was happening to me?
o0o
"Christine, what is wrong?" Erik's anxious voice broke through my trance. I smiled softly. "Nothing is wrong, darling. I'm with you."
He didn't accept that answer. "You look as though you will fall over any moment. Are you sick?" I shook my head, but he felt my forehead anyway. "You feel like ice," he exclaimed, alarmed. "Did you take something again?"
I was too tired to do anything except shake my head again. "No, I didn't. I went home, crawled into bed, and fell asleep." I was tired of this discussion, so I asked, "Isn't it time for me to go to rehearsal?"
His eyes burned. "No, Christine; you aren't rehearsing tonight." He sounded furious, and I didn't understand. Had I done something to offend him? I placed my arm on his sleeve, but he yanked it away. "You… leave, Christine," he ordered, his voice breaking. I tried to move closer, but he stepped away. "LEAVE!" he cried. Before I could say anything, he ran away, and the picture faded. I panicked when I woke. Desperate, I ran for the medicine cabinet to fetch my beloved benadryl, but in my weak state, I tripped. The last thing I knew was an explosion of pain in my head before everything became black.
o0o
Everything hurts. That was my first thought as a regained consciousness. I slightly opened my eyes, expecting the bright lights of my apartment…
A pair of golden eyes greeted me instead. I opened my eyes all the way and found my head resting in Erik's lap. We were in a room I had never seen before: a bedroom. A blanket was covering me. I tried to sit up, but Erik's voice stopped me. "Do not move," he commanded me. The tone of his voice bewildered me. He didn't really sound upset or angry; rather, he sounded defeated.
"I'm alright," I assured him as gently as possible. "I only fell. It could happen to anyone."
"You fell because you were exhausted. And, you were exhausted because you have been coming to me every night."
I frowned. "It's a minor problem. Really, it's not a big deal."
"Yes, it is!" He raised his voice, making me jump. "You hit your head right above your eye. If it had been only a little deeper, it most likely would have killed you." His fingers carefully traced my cheek, barely brushing the spot where I had hit my head. I winced in pain. "You almost died because of me," he whispered.
I adamantly shook my head. "Erik, it's not your fault. I'll just be more careful in the future." Then, a thought struck me. "How am I here right now?"
"You are at the hospital," he replied without looking at me. "They are trying to save you." I tried to sit up again, and this time, he helped me. I leaned into his chest wearily. "Everything is going to be alright. It won't happen again."
"No, it won't happen again." His voice sounded dark and terrible. Startled, I asked nervously, "What do you mean?"
"You cannot come to my world anymore, Christine."
"Erik, I –"
"I told you that I'm not good for you. This is proof." Tears began falling my eyes as I stared at him in horror. He really was serious. "But… don't you leave me?" I asked, my voice weak.
"Christine…" He placed his hands on both sides of my face, stroking away tears with his thumb. "I love you more than anything in this world or yours. I love you more than life itself… and that is why you cannot come here anymore. I will not be the death of you."
"Erik, please," I begged desperately. "I can't live without you; I'll die if you leave me," I swore passionately.
He shook his head. "It will pass," he promised. "One day, you will forget me."
"I will never forget you!" I cried. "Erik, I love you! Are you listening to me?"
He kissed me, forcing me to stop speaking. His kiss was lingering and desperate, and I could taste the salt of tears. When we finally pulled away, he was crying, too. My heart broke. "Erik," I whispered one last time. His eyes darkened. "Wake now, Christine. Forget me." He kissed my forehead and everything disappeared as a sound like a mirror shattering surrounded me. I started screaming. "No, no, no!" Then, I was thrust into cold, unfeeling light.
Posted on February 17, 2011