"Before we start, I want to apologize for my behavior the other day. I was concerned for Hotch, but I know that's no excuse, not really. I forgot that something was up with you before you left, and once I thought about that again, I felt terrible for being so upset with you because you must have been so confused," Garcia explained in a rush. Reid hadn't even had the chance to sit down upon entering her office, and it took him a moment to fully comprehend the tech analyst's words. Once he did, he froze, his stomach twisting anxiously. She knew.
Clearing his throat, the Omega twisted his hands nervously. "No, it's fine. I would have reacted the same way if it was one of you. I used the defense that you guys didn't mention Hotch had gone into a drop, but that wasn't fair to you. I should have known something was wrong when you and Morgan showed up at the hotel. I'm sorry for ignoring you." He hesitated as the Beta breathed a sigh of relief and smiled brightly at him. "Uh, what did you mean by how I 'must have been so confused'?"
Garcia have him a pointed look that had him resisting the urge to squirm. "Don't play coy with me, Boy Wonder." Her face and tone softened as she continued, "I saw your expression when you were talking about your weekend with Hotch. You're developing feelings for him, aren't you?"
Reid took a moment to slump into the seat across from Garcia, a quiet sigh passing his lips. "Is it that obvious?"
It was silent as she thought about it, her gaze fixed just to the side of him as she recalled certain memories over the last few days. He waited patiently, even as his stomach twisted into knots. "I don't think so," she finally murmured, brown eyes returning to hazel ones. "I really only noticed it that morning we talked, and neither Derek or Emily have said anything about it."
The Omega hummed softly with a nod. "I would like to keep it that way. I really don't want Hotch knowing about it, and the more people on the team who find out, the higher the chances are of him figuring it out."
Garcia's brows furrowed as she puzzled over his words. "Why wouldn't you want Hotch to know?"
"Because with what we just learned on our last case, there's a possibility that Hotch doesn't actually have feelings for me," Reid murmured, rubbing his thumb and forefinger against the arms of his chair. "Cindi and Ford were bonded, but she didn't have feelings for him. If you want to get technical, neither did Ford, but he was in love with her in his own misconstrued way. Either way, though, the bond shouldn't have existed if Cindi didn't feel any sentiment towards Ford."
Garcia's jaw dropped slightly, and she floundered for words for a few seconds before settling on, "But surely that's a small percentage. I mean, I can't imagine that would be left out of bonding details if it was occurring between a significant amount of couples."
Reid shrugged a shoulder, squeezing the chair arm between his fingers. "I'm not so certain it's that low of a percentage. Most of the information obtained by couples is reliant upon them being honest. Sociopaths and psychopaths are capable of forming bonds with others, but we all know it's rare for them to genuinely care for others in that capacity. They aren't factored in, and it makes sense that they wouldn't be. If that information reached the public, who knows how many people would be constantly questioning their bonds. It fosters distrust, and that typically ruins relationships. No amount of statistics would change that."
The blonde seemed unsure how to respond, so he distracted himself by drawing invisible patterns on the chair arm. "So, what, you're just going to keep this to yourself when it's entirely possible Hotch does feel something for you?" Garcia retorted, obviously upset by the way the situation was playing out.
"JJ and I talked about it, and we came to the conclusion that I should wait until the temporary bond dissolves. She encouraged me to enjoy it for now, and then discuss the situation with Hotch after all the confusing feelings that come with the bond are gone. As you said, it is possible that he does have feelings for me. JJ also pointed out, however, that there's no way of knowing how strong my feelings will grow, and they could fade as quickly as they developed. If Hotch does have feelings for me, how would it be fair to get his hopes up for something that may never come to be?" Reid queried, trying to make her understand he wasn't avoiding the discussion without just cause.
"You're right. What am I saying, of course you're right. I know you worry about him, sometimes more than the rest of us do. I just want you both to be happy, and I really believe that could happen with the two of you together," she admitted, smiling weakly. "I can wait a few more weeks." She reached out and squeezed his hand before asking, "So, what did you guys do this past weekend?"
The Omega knew she'd changed the subject in an effort to move into happier thoughts, but it had the opposite effect, spurring the memory of denying Hotch something they'd both wanted. His chest ached, and he winced before he could catch himself. Garcia's expression fell slightly, and he sighed. "We went to the fair. Everything was going well until we rode the Ferris wheel."
"Oh, honey, you didn't," the Beta whispered, her hand tightening around his.
Reid's lips twisted into a bitter smile as he murmured, "Didn't what? Stop him before he could kiss me because I knew it would make things more muddled than they already are?"
"I'm sure he understood. He knows how confusing the situation is," Garcia answered, her tone and expression bleeding sympathy.
Snorting derisively, he nodded. "Oh, he understood. Too well. I didn't want to discuss what happened while we were still riding, and he ensured we didn't have to. The entire weekend he avoided being alone with me." He huffed softly, bitterly, and shook his head. "And if I bring it up now, it's just going to be a mess, and we'll both say or do things we'll regret."
The tech analyst opened her mouth to respond when the door to her office swung open, revealing JJ and Emily. "Thought we might find you down here," the dark-haired female commented with a grin. "What happened to, 'I'll keep it quick,' Garcia? Morgan and I were hoping to slip him a few files before we had to go to round table."
"Hoping to?" JJ questioned. "So I just imagined the two of you dropping a few files on his desk?" The blonde agent grinned as Emily shot her a look before shrugging.
"All right, you caught me," the other Beta rejoined. Her gaze caught Reid's as she added, "Hope you don't mind."
Warmth replaced the ache in his chest as he took in the smiling faces of his fellow team members. "I suppose I don't," he answered truthfully. The delighted grin on Emily's face had him beaming back at her.
Their case was like a whirlwind. The city of Enid, Oklahoma had just gotten rid of Rod Garrett, only to have another serial killer pop up in his place, murdering women cleanly and efficiently only six hours apart from each other and throwing them all for loops every time they thought they'd finally figured him out.
At one point after the fourth murder, Reid looked up from the map as Hotch walked up to him, his gaze almost immediately returning to the geographical profile that made no sense to him. The points weren't currently capable of being triangulated in a way that made sense, and he had been staring at the map far longer than his eyes appreciated. He brought his hand up to rub at them with a sigh, wishing he had something else to focus on. "Any news from Morgan and Emily?" he inquired, looking at the Alpha because he was the only thing that didn't make his vision blurry.
"The unsub doubled back to leave Emily Sisk's body across the street from her place. Prentiss said it was overkill," Hotch answered, his eyes narrowing slightly in the way that meant he was studying someone or something. In their current situation, Reid knew it was him. "You've been staring at these maps for hours. You should give your eyes a break. Did you even eat dinner?"
The Omega couldn't catch himself before he retorted, "Did you?" He did, however, wince after he realized he'd done it. He was shocked when Hotch chuckled and shook his head.
"Dave ensured both JJ and I ate at least half a sandwich," the older profiler answered. "I would appreciate it if you attempted to do the same, or at least took a break for half an hour. You'll hear anything new about the case the moment we find out."
Reid found himself smiling before he teased, "I suppose it would be futile to request you take a break with me." He didn't expect the perplexed expression that formed on Hotch's face, nor the thoughtful consideration as the other man weighed each option. He almost spoke up to say he hadn't been serious, but he stopped before he could. He doubted Hotch had really taken a break yet, even during the time he'd eaten at Rossi's insistence. If he could get Hotch to relax for even a few minutes, that would be an accomplishment. They all tended to have one-track minds during cases, incapable of stopping the details from circling over and over through their brains.
"Thirty minutes," Hotch agreed. "And you'll attempt to sleep."
The additional clause nearly made Reid roll his eyes, but given the Alpha didn't specify when he had to try to sleep, he was going to use that to his advantage. "All right. Where do I find a sandwich?" His lips quirked into a smile as Hotch turned and started to walk away towards the break room. He debated on following but decided it would be easier to wait and instead slid into a seat at one of the small tables set up nearby. He closed his eyes and resisted the urge to rub at them once again, briefly debating on taking out his contacts to give his eyes a better break. They were feeling itchy, but it wasn't to the point that it was intolerable, and he actually preferred his contacts to his glasses. They tended to give him headaches and messed with his depth perception a little. Neither of those were pleasant on a normal basis, but especially not with the imminent possibility of a raid.
Hotch returned while Reid was still arguing with himself, setting a sandwich and a bottle of water down on the table in front of the Omega and taking a seat across from him with a second bottled water in hand. "Thank you," the brunette man murmured, starting to unwrap the cellophane around the sandwich as Hotch hummed almost absently in response. Hazel eyes lifted to catch unfocused brown ones before narrowing. "Taking a break doesn't include thinking about the case, Hotch."
The unit chief's lips twitched against a smile as he queried, "What makes you believe I was thinking about the case, Reid?"
It gave the younger man pause, and he took his time chewing the bite of sandwich in his mouth. "Weren't you?" he challenged. There were very few things that held Hotch's focus in such a way, and the only one present was an unpredictable case. It had been a calculated assumption based on what he knew about the older man.
"No." Hotch seemed amused, if not a little smug that he could actually answer negatively. His brown eyes were glowing, causing Reid's breath to catch in his throat. He wasn't sure if he was dealing with Hotch or Hotch's Alpha; the lines were blurred so much more now than they had been before. It was almost impossible to tell them apart because Aaron Hotchner had so many sides to him that Reid had never had experience with prior to their predicament.
The Omega licked his lips to give himself more time to think. He wanted to ask what Hotch had been thinking about, but part of him was afraid of what Hotch would say while the other part was afraid Hotch would refuse to answer. He wasn't quite in the right mindset to deal with a playful Alpha, and that seemed to be where things were headed with his current line of questioning. So he chose not to pursue it. "I've cleared the air with Garcia and Emily, and Morgan's acting like everything's okay."
If Hotch was fazed by the sudden topic change, he didn't show it. "I saw you returning to the bullpen with Garcia, Prentiss, and JJ earlier. You sat down to look over a file while the other three either stood or sat at Prentiss's desk, discussing something. Morgan and I talked about what happened while on our way to the prison. He was never actually angry with you, and he said he would speak to you when he had the chance," Hotch detailed, uncapping his bottle of water and taking a sip.
Reid's eyes caught on the line of the older profiler's throat, and he hastily looked down at his sandwich as he recalled the way the skin of that throat felt beneath his lips, his thoughts tripping over his curiosity of what it would be like to leave his own mark on Hotch's skin. His heart stuttered at the idea, heat curling in his abdomen as he imagined biting high enough for the mark to be seen above Hotch's shirt collar. His mouth went dry at the thought, and he quickly unscrewed the lid of his bottled water, making an effort to not take large gulps of it. He needed to focus on something else before his arousal spiked enough for Hotch to smell it, or there would be some complications. Namely explaining what had sparked it in the first place, and even he wasn't sure where this possessive mentality had come from or why the thought of marking the other man held so much appeal. He would need to look into it.
Thankfully the Alpha saved him from that embarrassment by clearing his throat. Reid's attention snapped back to the other man curiously, and he grew more perplexed when he saw Hotch roll one shoulder in what Reid had learned was a nervous tic. "I've been wondering if you might need some time alone. I know it must be difficult to transition from living by yourself to living with another adult and his child, and you haven't had any solitary moments outside of sleeping hours," Hotch commented, his brown eyes darting away from Reid's for a couple of seconds before returning. "I thought perhaps you might want to spend an evening in your apartment."
The thought that the unit chief was concerned about him needing space sent a burst of warmth through the Omega's chest. It wasn't necessary, but it was nice that the older profiler wanted to ensure he was comfortable and could get a break from everything should he wish to do so. And then the traitorous part of his mind pointed out that it was possible Hotch needed the break. The other man had been living without another adult for several years as well. It had to be an adjustment for him, too. With that thought dampening his spirits, he answered, "I don't mind sharing living quarters with you and Jack. It's been different, but in a good way. I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I have." After pausing to keep himself in check, he added, "But I imagine this must be weird for you, too, so if you need a night to yourselves, I can go back to my apartment."
The dark-haired man frowned as if he were puzzled by Reid's response. The Omega wasn't sure what to make of that reaction and instead took another bite of his sandwich. "Having you live with us hasn't felt weird, Reid. Not for me and certainly not for Jack. He loves having you there, actually; he says you're one of the few grown-ups who treat him like a grown-up," Hotch rejoined, his expression intense. The younger man swallowed thickly to keep from saying anything, and the Alpha's face softened. "He also enjoys the games you come up with because you propose ideas that involve making a mess."
Reid couldn't help but grin at that. "If you aren't making a mess, then you aren't reaching the extent of your fun," he remarked before taking another sip of his water.
Hotch chuckled, flashing a hint of teeth as he shook his head. Reid's pulse stuttered before picking up, beating a fast rhythm in his chest and throat. Ever since determining his growing feelings for the older man, he'd been noticing that even the smallest things could garner reactions he didn't expect. The other night at the fair had been increasingly difficult for him, particularly after he'd taken Hotch's hand in his. He hadn't been capable of letting go, and he'd felt a little thrill when the Alpha hadn't pulled away. Ignoring the almost restless way Hotch had played with his hand had proved to be nearly impossible. The gentle caresses had turned his heart over and sent an ache of longing through him. He'd fought desperately against the urge to reciprocate, his fingers twitching occasionally.
The memory was enough to make them twitch and startle Reid from his thoughts. Hotch was watching him with an almost fond expression, and he smiled shyly in response, his face flushing. He heard the hitch in the unit chief's breath before dark brown eyes shifted away from him with purpose, and he wondered if perhaps he'd somehow pushed the older man too far with his request for the Alpha to stay with him while he took a break.
Hotch gently cleared his throat and moved to stand. "I know I only asked for you to finish half, but try to eat the other half before returning to work. And don't forget what I said about some sleep," the dark-haired man reminded, giving him a pointed look. Reid nodded silently, his lips twisting into a wry smile as Hotch took his bottled water and walked away from the table.
"Thanks, Hotch," he finally managed to murmur, only when the older profiler was too far away to hear. He valiantly ignored the part of him that was dismayed about his promised thirty minutes being cut in half.
The lull of sleep was so strong that Reid nearly succumbed to it while sitting up in his desk chair and finishing a case file. He'd almost nodded off four times and was about to do the same a fifth time when he heard the distinct sound of a mug being set on top of his desk and pushed over until it hit his blindly reaching hand. Blinking away his stupor, he managed to lift the mug to his lips and nearly made an indecent noise at the first taste of caffeinated sugar on his tongue. Who would have thought he would miss the coffee supplied by the bureau? Granted, the PD of their recently closed case had probably had the most unpalatable coffee Reid had ever tried, so that may have had something to do with why their coffee suddenly tasted like a delicacy.
It was only after he'd drained the entire mug that he looked up to see Emily biting her lower lip in an effort to stifle her laughter, and his gaze instead shifted to Morgan and JJ, who were both grinning. JJ was currently seated at the desk across from Morgan's old desk, while the male Beta was seated at said old desk since he didn't always enjoy the seclusion of his office. He actually seemed to be in the bullpen more often than his office, but Reid couldn't fault him for that. The Omega was fairly certain he would rather stick to the bullpen even with a luxurious office; the camaraderie and the atmosphere were things he'd grown accustomed to and actually enjoyed.
"Thanks for the coffee," Reid practically croaked, and the three profilers didn't hold back their laughter. "Whichever one of you made it did it correctly," he felt the need to add, looking between them perplexedly.
Morgan was the first to recover, commenting, "You can thank your temporary housemate for that, Pretty Boy."
The genius profiler was speechless, his eyes darting to the closed office door on the left side of the upper landing. Hotch had made him coffee? His confusion must have shown on his face because Prentiss was grinning widely and nodding when he finally looked back at his teammates. "It's true. He came out of his office and went to the break room, and the next thing we knew, you were gulping down your coffee as he walked back to his office," the dark-haired Beta explained. "I wonder how much he's learned about you since you've been living together."
Reid had never even thought about that, but Emily had given him something to consider. There were several things that came to mind that he'd never known about Hotch's routine after years of sharing hotel rooms, so it was impossible for Hotch not to have learned some new details about him, such as how much sugar he put in his coffee. "Probably too much," he murmured in response to Emily's observation, his gaze returning to the case file open on his desk.
The others were quiet, and he wasn't aware Emily and JJ had taken a break until he saw movement in his periphery and looked up to see Morgan standing beside his desk. "We're cool, right? No hard feelings about the other day?" the Beta queried, expression earnest.
Reid smiled and shook his head. "No, Morgan, no hard feelings. I'm sorry I put you and Garcia in that position."
Morgan clapped a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "No worries, man. I doubt any of us were thinking straight." There was a short pause before the other profiler jerked his chin in the direction of Hotch's office. "And if anyone was, it was Hotch. How sad is that? Even going through a drop doesn't affect his sense of judgment." The Beta's tone was tinged with amusement (and possibly a little awe) as he shook his head and retreated back to his old desk.
Hazel eyes settled on Hotch's form through the office window, and Reid couldn't stop the smile that curved his lips. He had to concur with Morgan's unspoken words; his Alpha was definitely awe-inspiring.