A Safe Place to Cry

Ch.14 Forgetting, Forgiving, and Forever

It is all about forgiving mistakes, forgetting them, and looking towards forever with the one you love.

It had been two weeks since the New York trip disaster. Lucas had decided to give Peyton time to think about what had happened between them. He didn't want to push her, and thought that it would be best to give her the space she needed. He figured that the distance would make the heart grow fonder.

Riley had to see Peyton in class everyday, but the two never even spoke about what happened in New York. Riley didn't want to make something her business that was probably not her business. She knew that if Peyton wanted to talk to her she would.

As for Preston he hadn't said much either. He told Riley that his mom was upset but didn't go into very much detail. The kids tried to stay out of the adult drama. This happened to be a good thing.

Riley and Lucas had enjoyed yet another dinner alone. Lucas was becoming quiet the chef. He made a perfect steak and a mean baked potato.

Riley was in her room on the phone, and Lucas was trying to write another chapter for his next book, but he wasn't feeling too inspired.

He heard a knock at the door. Of course part of his heart wanted it to be Peyton, but he knew that it probably wasn't. He was right because it was Haley.

"Hi," she smiled as she entered with a box and some bags in her hands.

"What's all that?" Lucas pointed to the things she was carrying.

"I thought you might be hungry. We had leftovers."

"Haley I cooked dinner for the two of us, but thanks anyways." Lucas smiled. He loved that she always wanted to help them.

"Okay actually I brought this stuff as a decoy. I wanted to know how you were doing." She admitted.

"You could have just called."

"I wanted to see you besides we haven't talked in a long time. I'm worried about you."

They walked into the kitchen, and she sat down all of her bags. "There is nothing to be worried about. I am fine, and so is Riley."

"I know about Peyton."

"So," Lucas shrugged.

"I know that the two of you were a couple, and then you broke up. I want to know the details. I feel so out of the loop lately."

"I screwed it up like I screw up most everything in my life." Lucas told her.

"You were falling for her weren't you?" Haley could tell by the look in his eyes.

"I'm still falling for her. Every single time I think about her Haley I fall harder and harder for her, but it's too late for that."

"It is never too late Lucas Scott. I don't ever want to hear you say that again." She warned him. "If you care about her Lucas the way I think you care about her then you have to go lay it all on the line and make sure that she knows how you feel."

"I'm not good at that kind of stuff Hales. You know that."

"Well I suggest you get good at it because if you don't you could lose her forever." Haley rubbed his shoulder. "It's worth a shot Lucas. I'm your best friend, and I wouldn't lie to you."

"I know," Lucas really did know that she was right, but he was afraid of getting his heart broken. He had always been fearful of that.

…………………

Haley had left, and Lucas was left with his thoughts. Peyton consumed most of them. All he could think about was her skin against his skin, her smile, and her simple touch that sent chills up and down his spine. He missed her like crazy, but he was scared. He was scared of taking that chance. He was scared to spill his heart to her only in return to hear how she really feels about him.

"Dad," Riley walked into the room knocking Lucas out of his trance. "Oh sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

"No baby it is okay. Is something wrong?"

She shook her head, "No, but I was wondering if I could go to the river court."

"It's a little late." He told her.

"It's not that late. All my friends are going. Please," she begged.

Lucas smiled. He remembered how much the river court had meant to him through out his life. "Go ahead and be careful. Oh will Preston be there?"

"Yeah of course, he is my best friend." She smiled and gave him a hug. "Thanks dad….I'll be home before curfew. I promise."

She grabbed her jacket and walked out of the house. Lucas was then left by himself. He knew what he had to do.

About twenty minutes later he found himself standing in front of Peyton's house too afraid to knock. He was too afraid to find the answers that were behind the door. If he didn't knock then he never had to know if it was really over. If what he thought was his one chance at love was really over.

He took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. It only took her a few seconds to open the door. "It's about time," was the only thing she said to him.

"Excuse me?"

"You've been standing outside for a while. I was just about to call the cops and tell them some creeper was stalking my house." She said somewhat coldly. That fact worried Lucas a little.

"Can I come in?"

"I don't know."

Lucas sighed, "I know that you don't want to talk to me, but I need to say what I have to say, or I know I'll regret it one day."

She stepped away from the door and gestured for him to come in. He followed behind her. She crossed her arms and waited for him to speak.

He had rehearsed the speech in his head a thousand times, but as soon as he looked into those beautiful green eyes of hers he lost all of his words. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He decided to speak from the heart.

"I'm not going to stand here and feed you lies about how Brooke was wrong about my past because she wasn't." He shook his head, "I hate who I used to be. I was no where near the man that my mother and my uncle raised. I could sit here and blame it on the fame, but it wasn't the fame. If I wanted too I could have been different. I chose who I was. I made everyone of those decisions because I've always been afraid."

"What are you afraid of, Lucas?" Peyton interrupted.

"My father was not a good man. He left us when I was young. He crushed my mom, and I saw how her heart broke. She loved him, and he abandoned her. I promised myself that I would never be anything like him, but I was the spitting image of him. I was the man that I swore I would never be." Lucas sighed, "I broke my wife's heart, and I destroyed my little girl's idea of what a father should really be. I think I did that because for one I was a jackass, but mainly because I didn't want to be the one that was left broken hearted."

Peyton continued to listen, but she wasn't convinced. "No one wants to get their heart broken Lucas, but that doesn't mean they sleep with every woman they meet."

"I know that Peyton. I know that now. I knew that if I never made a connection with any of the women then I wouldn't get hurt, but I've always been hurting. I've always been alone, and there has always been something missing in my life. I just didn't realize that the thing I was missing was the one thing I ran away from."

He closes his eyes again, and then opens them. "You made me see where my priorities should lie. You showed me that my daughter is the most precious thing that I have."

Peyton doesn't say anything.

"You may not realize this, but you saved me when I didn't even realize that I needed saving. I was my own problem, and because of you I'm different. I'm not the man that your friend Brooke slept with. You didn't get to see that man because you started to change me from the moment you met me."

He walks closer to her, "You changed me for the better. I never want you to see the man that I used to be because I never want to be that man again. I want to prove to you that I am the man that you slept with that night."

He touches her face, "I have never felt this away about anyone. You bring out the best in me, and you make my heart do this crazy thing that no one else has ever been able to do. I want to give you my heart Peyton because I trust you, and I know that you will take care of it."

She has tears running down her face.

"I am so sorry for the man that I have been. I'm sorry for lying to you, and I'm sorry that I didn't come here sooner. You deserve a man that is going to love you, cherish you, and be there for you every second of every day, and I think….I know that I can be that man." Lucas slowly leans in and kisses her. She pulls away at first, and then gives in.

He breaks the kiss, "I love you. I love you so much Peyton Sawyer, and I would do anything for you."

Peyton's tears are uncontrollable. "I know that we haven't known each other that long, but I knew from the moment I looked into those beautiful eyes that my heart would always belong to you."

Peyton held onto him with everything she had. She never wanted to let him go. She had waited her whole life to feel wanted and needed, and she finally did.

Lucas kissed her again more passionately than ever before. The kiss never seemed like it was going to end until his phone started ringing. "Damn it," he was frustrated. "Sorry," he squinted.

"It's okay." Peyton was hoping he wouldn't answer it, but he did.

"Hello, hey, hey slow down. What's wrong?" Lucas' voice dropped. "Oh my God I'm on my way." Lucas hung up the phone.

"Luke," Peyton was worried.

"I'm sorry I've got to go. Riley's been hurt. I've got to get to the hospital."

"I'm going with you."

They both left the house neither one knowing really what to expect.

Ah Cliffhanger. I know it sucks right, but it felt like the right thing to do. I have to say that I am really proud of this chapter because I really focused on the words that came out of Lucas' mouth. I wanted us all to kind feel like we were the one he was speaking those words too if that makes any sense at all.

Okay I want to say that you guys are amazing. I know I say it every chapter, but you guys continue to amaze me, and make a girl feel really good about her writing. All your reviews make me very confident, and that is something I have always lacked with my writing. So thanks so much for that.

I also want to let you guys know that I'm not sure how many more chapters are left. I want to go on forever with this story because it really touches my heart and is so much fun to write, but I don't want to make it go on too long that it isn't interesting or good anymore. So I'm not sure I guess we'll see unless I come up with some more ideas.

I really want to hear what you guys thought about this chapter, and I really hope that I didn't let you guys down with the Peyton and Lucas thing. I know some of you probably wanted Peyton to say something, but it wasn't the right time for me. And I threw the kiss in at last minute. They weren't supposed to kiss, but I felt compelled to write it that way.

So Please Review :)