Can you see me
By lostinparadise
Can you see me I wonder if in your conscious Denying, Admitting How can i explain to you I'm sorry but i can't hide anymore But what can i do
right in front of your face
hoping that you'd notice
that your love is what i crave
you have me
knowing that i love you
yet ignore my bliss
crying, and dying
inside is all you feel
but you show me nothing
what i really feel inside
when you don't like me that way
and always there by my side
this pain that sticks with me
it only gets at its worst
I want you to love me.
i can't change your mind
tough love is what you say
I'm going blind.
March 25,2006
Dear Diary,
It's Saturday. Two days until the callbacks and the dance. I got my dress already (courtesy of Sharpay) now all I need is a date but I know I won't have one so what's the point? Sharpay called me over at her house to practice for the callbacks. And she's acting really secretive lately. Something is happening and I'm pretty sure it's going to happen at the callbacks.
Alex
March 25, 2006
Sharpay's House
Alex just arrived at Sharpay's House. She knocks on the door and Ryan opens it.
Ryan: Hey Alex. Come in.
Alex goes inside and follows Ryan upstairs. They go inside a room and Alex sees Sharpay sitting on the piano looking very impatient.
Sharpay: Finally where were you?
Alex: Sharpay I'm 10 minutes early.
Sharpay: (looks at the watch on the wall) Well I guess you are. Well' cmon lets practice (she grabs Alex by the hand and takes her to the piano)
Alex starts playing and Sharpay and Ryan start to sing. After 2 hours of practice the three went outside for a break (though Sharpay strongly disapproved but ended up giving in). They went outside and Sharpay went inside to grab a drink leaving Ryan and Alex on the backyard.
Ryan: So Lex how are you?
Alex: I'm good why?
Ryan: I haven't talked to you for awhile.
Alex: It's okay Ryan your busy with your girlfriend.
Ryan: (sighs) Yeah my girlfriend
Alex: what's wrong?
Ryan: Oh nothing. I better check on Sharpay and see why she's taking so long.
Alex: Ok
While Alex waits for Ryan and Sharpay she walks around the backyard and starts humming. After awhile she goes inside the mansion and sees a guitar. She takes it and take it outside and she starts to strum the guitar and starts playing a song.
Alex: This is the place where I sit Cause you don't see me and you don't need me and you don't love me the way I wish you would, the way I know you could
I dream a world where you understand Cause you don't see me and you don't need me and you don't love me the way I wish you would
This is the place in my heart Cause you don't see me and you don't need me and you don't love me the way I wish you would Cause you don't see me and you don't need me and you don't love me the way I wish you would, the way I know you could
This is the part where I love you too much
Is this as hard as it gets
Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough
I'm here if you want me, I'm yours, you can hold me
I'm empty and aching, and tumbling and breaking
I dream a million sleepless nights
I dream of fire when you're touching my hand, but it twists into smoke when I turn on the lights
I'm speechless and faded, it's too complicated, is this how the book ends, nothing but good friends
This is the place where I'm falling apart
Isn't this just where we met
Is this the last chance I'll ever get
I wish I was lonely, instead of just only crystal and see-through and not enough to you
After singing her song she strums a few chords in the guitar and puts it down as she starts to remember how she and Ryan met.
Flashback
Alex is 11 her hair has blue streaks and she's wearing a t-shirt and baggy pants as she carries her backpack. She looks for somewhere to sit and finds one.. A middle-aged woman comes in and asks them to pay attention.
Woman: Good Morning Class. I believe we have a new student today. Will Alexis Bolton please come here and introduce yourself?
Alex slowly stands up and goes in front of the room while everyone stares at her. She smiles sheepishly and starts to introduce herself.
Alex: Hi I'm Alexis Bolton but you can call me Alex.
A girl raises her hand quickly.
Girl: What kind of name is Alex? Isn't that a boys name?
The girls in the class nod their heads obviously agreeing to what the girl was saying.
Alex: (uncomfortably) Well Alex is just a nickname. You can call me something else if you want.
Girl: (snottily) Yeah whatever.
Alex returns to her seat clearly uncomfortable that everyone is starting at her. After the class Alex quickly runs to her brother Troy who already seemed to be making a lot of friends.
Alex: Troy?
Troy: Oh hey Alex. What's up?
Alex: I was kinda wondering if I could eat with you?
Troy: I'm eating with the guys if you want sure.
Alex stares at the guys talking to her brother.
Alex: No it's fine. I guess.
She quickly leaves the room and bumps into somebody.
Alex: I am so sorry(she turns to face the person and sees a boy wearing a green collared shirt and striking blue eyes).
Wow he's cute Alex thought.
Boy: It's okay I'm Ryan. I saw you talking to Troy Bolton do you know him?
Alex: Yeah he's my brother. I'm Alexis you can call me Alex.
Ryan: How bout Lexie? I've always like the name.
Alex: Sure
Ryan: Do you wanna eat lunch with me and my sister?
Alex: (happily) Sure
Ryan: Great but I gotta warn you my sister isn't really well liked in the school.
Alex: That's okay
The two went to the cafeteria/lunchroom and quickly bought something to eat. A blonde quickly waves Ryan over. Ryan went to her table with Alex following him.
Ryan: Hey Sharpay.
Sharpay: Hey Ryan. And you are?
Alex: I'm Alex.
Sharpay: Isn't that a boy's name?
Alex: It's just a nickname
Ryan: Yeah you can call her Lexie if you want.
Sharpay: I guess. Why is she here?
Ryan: She's a friend
Sharpay: (narrows her eyes at Alex and sighs) Come sit.
Alex sits down.
Sharpay: Let's start over I'm Sharpay (offers her hand to Alex)
Alex: Alexis Bolton
Sharpay: Bolton? Your related to Troy Bolton?
Alex: Yeah he's my brother.
Sharpay: Really he's so cute. I think were going to be best friends Alex.
Ryan smiles at Alex and she returns the smile.
What Alex didn't know was that Sharpay had hear the song she sang.
Sharpay: Alex?
Alex: Hey. Finally what took you so long?
Sharpay: I went to the bathroom. So are you okay?
Alex: Yeah why?
Sharpay: Cause you know the dance and Ryan
Alex: How many times do I have to tell you I'm over Ryan
Sharpay: and how many times do I have to tell you that I don't believe you.
Alex: (sighs) I guess I still like him a lot.
Unknown to Alex, Ryan was coming out of the mansion and heard what Alex said. He stood there for awhile and went back inside.
Alex: (looks at her watch) I gotta go Sharpay. I'll see you on Monday.
Sharpay: Remember the dance and callbacks are on Monday.
Alex: I will. Tell Ryan I said bye.
Alex leaves the mansion and heads over to a her dad's car that was waiting outside. While Sharpay went inside the house to see Ryan sitting on the couch.
Sharpay: So what did you hear?
Ryan: What?
Sharpay: You heard everything didn't you?
Ryan: I don't know what your talking about.
Sharpay: Ryan you're my twin I know you. And now you know how Alex feels about you. And if your smart you'll tell her that you feel the same way.
Ryan: I have a girlfriend .
Sharpay: Yeah but that doesn't mean you actually like Therese. Alex is perfect for you, you just haven't seen that yet.
Sharpay leaves the room and goes upstairs leaving Ryan sighing and laying on the couch.
So here's the new chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it I actually just wrote it right now so sorry if it's a bad. Only 1 or 2 chapters left then this story will be all over. Thanks to the reviewers. You guys rock! Please tell me what you think!