Rating: PG13
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel
Warnings: MPREG baby, slash, very vague description of sex, possible English mistakes
Spoilers: none.
A/N: So, I think I may have set a new record for most fucking ridiculous update time. Feel free to come at me with pitchforks if my guilt does not bring you proper satisfaction. On the bright side, you won't have to deal with my tardiness much longer. Yes, as sad a I am to say it, I'm afraid this story is coming to a close. I'll probably do one more follow up chapter, but as far as the storyline goes, this is pretty much it. I've already dragged it out much longer than I should have. My original plan was to keep it at ten chapters, but it was so much fun that I decided to drag it out (although looking back in retrospect I really should have stuck with my initial plan).
Thank you all so much for sticking around throughout this story, and all your kind words! I haven't been thanking you enough lately. The stupidly slow update times are certainly no help, especially this time around. I can't even tell you how much I am going to miss this and reading all the wonderful things you guys have said to me, because it means so much, I really just can't properly express!
"Don't you worry, okay? Don't worry about a thing, cause I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, not now, not ever, you understand that?"
The angel nods a bit hesitantly.
"Good," Dean affirms, moving in to kiss him one more time, because he just can't help it.
"Dammit, Cas, I love you so much."
"And I love you as well, Dean," the angel says.
He gives a small smile, but winces slightly when it reaches the cut on his cheek.
The hunter's expression is sympathetic as he looks his angel over.
"Cas, how bad does that hurt?"
Castiel averts his gaze.
"I will heal," he says, managing to successfully avoid the subject when Matthias begins to fuss quietly in his sleep.
The angel is looking at him longingly, much too obvious for Dean not to notice.
"You wanna take him?" he asks, trying to assess whether Cas could do so without hurting himself.
The angel doesn't need to so much as make a gesture, because his answer is in his eyes, and Dean really isn't even sure why he bothered to ask in the first place.
"Yes," Castiel says, shifting carefully to make a small space for Matthias on the bed in front of him, struggling to keep the pain out of his expression as he does so, "I would like to hold him."
Dean nods slightly as he carefully places Matthias so his head is resting in the crook of the angel's arm, brushing his fuzzy hair back as the baby rolls on his side to face Castiel, sighing contently as he curls up and tucks his tiny hands under his chin.
Cas' expression changes several times before landing on a frown and looking a bit tearful.
Dean furrows his eyebrows.
"Hey, what's the matter?"
The angel is quiet for a moment, watching the subtle movements as their baby twitches in his sleep.
"He has gotten bigger," Castiel says quietly, voice trembling and sounding dangerously close to tears, "He got bigger… while I was away…"
"Hey, its okay, Cas," Dean comforts, struggling to keep from setting a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "It's only been a few days; it's not like he's outgrown his clothes or anything… and besides, we're all here now. That's the important thing, right?"
Castiel nods lightly, contemplating the hunter's reasoning.
He seems a little out of it for a moment before he lifts his gaze and opens his mouth to speak.
"Dean, why do you refuse to touch me?" the angel asks out of the blue, wondering if he has suddenly become repulsive since he came back.
Dean notices the mildly hurt look in his eyes and feels guilty.
"I don't wanna hurt you, Cas. You're… you're delicate right now, okay?"
The angel frowns, averting his gaze and looking sad.
"You just need to heal up a bit, then we can, uh… cuddle… or whatever it is you've got in mind."
Cas' sad look suddenly becomes a little peeved.
"I am struggling to retain heat, Dean. Hold me."
The hunter breathes out a long sigh as he gently takes ahold of the angel's hand, wary of the bandages concealing what looks like it might be a broken wrist. He's inwardly smiling though, because Cas is fucking pouting like a little kid, and Dean hasn't seen this childish side of him in a long, long time.
"I'll get you another blanket or something, Cas," he tries to compromise, though not without guilt, "You can barely move without flinching; there's no way I can hold you without hurting you."
The angel's frown deepens.
"I will be more comfortable in your proximity… both physically and mentally," he admits, looking a bit shameful.
"Cas…" the hunter begins to protest, "You shouldn't be moving around, not with wounds like that—"
"We have a bond, Dean," the angel starts, only to stop himself when he notices the look he's receiving from the hunter, "Have I displeased you in some way?"
Dean shakes his head.
"No, it's just - we're talking about your well being here, and going off on some tangent about our 'profound bond' or whatever isn't exactly—"
"It is relevant, Dean," Castiel interrupts sternly, his expression somehow managing to make irritation look endearing… or maybe relief just won't let Dean see him any other way.
"The bond that you and I share is… very strong," he continues, "Not merely profound. Proximity to you and your soul will essentially allow me easier access to my grace as well as guide the transition of energy to my physical form so as—"
"English, Cas, c'mon," Dean urges.
The angel frowns slightly, looking more than a little put out, because he had been quite certain he was sufficiently simplifying his explanation.
"I will be able to heal more easily if we are making physical contact," he clarifies.
The hunter smirks.
"That sounds dirty."
"Dean, I'm being serious," he all but pleads.
The hunter raises his hands in surrender.
"Alright, alright," he gives in, adjusting himself to where he can manoeuvre more easily, "I hear you… This better help, man."
He lets out a concerned sigh as Castiel carefully positions Matthias against his chest before Dean slides a tentative arm under his angel's shoulders.
The hunter makes it successfully around the rather deep knife wound in his upper arm without eliciting more than a repressed look of pain on the angel's face and some slightly laboured breathing, but all is lost when he reaches his back, and Castiel cries out like he's being cut open all over again.
The sound is pained and heartbreaking, and Dean quickly retracts while Matthias wakes up frightened and crying.
Shit," he mutters guiltily as their baby screams and Castiel shakily attempts to soothe him with a weak, unsteady hand brushing through his hair, all the while trying to calm his own rapid breathing.
"Shit, Cas - I'm sorry," Dean pleads, voice panicked and ridden with guilt.
The angel simply shakes his head for the brief moment before he can catch his breath enough to choke out, "Dean, you are not - not at fault—"
The hunter glances between his angel and their son, brow furrowed and heart racing, and he feels a simultaneous sense of panic and calm.
"You sure you're gonna be okay, man?" he asks, completely unconvinced.
Castiel nods weakly, eyes closed.
"I am in no danger of dying, Dean," he assures, voice hushed as he slowly opens his eyes to meet with the hunter's concerned gaze, "I apologise. The injury to my wings has caused my grace to merge slightly with my physical form for extra stability… the area is more… sensitive than I anticipated."
Sam chooses that moment to poke his head in the door, his expression initially looking concerned before embarrassment pervades his features.
Dean takes notice then of just how close he is to Cas' face, hovering over him, practically on top of the guy, and hastily puts several inches between them, sitting up straight and failing to convince himself that he's not blushing.
"Hey there, Sammy," he mutters sheepishly.
Sam nods in acknowledgement to his brother's greeting, clearing his throat awkwardly before addressing the situation, "Well it looks like you guys are okay, so I'll just, uh, leave you to… whatever you were doing…"
"Right," Dean says, "You do that."
Sam retreats to the safety of the unoccupied living room without another word, and there is a moment of silence before Dean fake coughs, as if to clear the awkwardness from the atmosphere.
Matthias has quieted down some, but is still upset. Dean leans over and joins Castiel in his attempt to calm their son.
"Shhh, it's okay, buddy… I'm sorry; I know that was scary, but everything's okay, I promise," he hushes, gently stroking the soft skin on his tiny hand and offering up a finger for Matthias to latch onto.
His little hands are still too small to wrap the whole way around, but Matthias holds on like it's a lifeline, and this mutual contact between holding onto Dean and Castiel brushing through his hair to a steady rythm seems to work wonders as far and calming him down.
Dec. 12
Dean wakes up early. Light is just beginning to penetrate the horizon outside, and it illuminates the room just enough to give him a perfect view of his angel resting quietly against his chest and their son soundly sleeping in his crib directly beside them.
Dean had somehow managed to pull Cas on top of him the night before without causing him to cry out or Matthias to get upset, and apparently it was worth it, because the angel already looks loads better than he did before.
There is more vibrancy in his complexion, and the once dark, colourful bruises scattering his body have now faded significantly and already look at least half healed.
Dean let's himself relax and enjoy the moment.
He's about to reach his hand up from where it is protectively stationed on Cas' back to run his fingers through the angel's already tousled hair, but the moment he moves his hand, he notices the feeling of something warm and wet and just the right consistency to make his stomach drop before he even looks and sees the red that has seeped through the bandages and is settling in the creases of his skin.
"Cas," he half whispers, nudging his angel gently and entertaining a small sliver of hope that he will be able to take care of this without waking Matthias.
"Cas," he tries again, nudging a little harder.
The angel stirs slightly, pressing himself a little harder into the warmth of Dean's body, but he doesn't seem to have any intention of waking up."Cas, c'mon, man," the hunter presses, more frantic this time, as he nudges him with a bit more force than he'd meant to.
"Cas, c'mon, man," the hunter presses, more frantic this time, as he nudges him with a bit more force than he'd meant to.
Castiel winces, sucking in a quick breath of air and jolting awake, blinking his eyes open at the sudden pain.
"Dean—"
The hunter doesn't waste time apologising in favour of figuring out how to making his angel stop leaking blood.
"Cas, you're bleeding, man," he blurts lamely.
"I am fine," Castiel insists almost casually, successfully trivialising the situation, except he's making a face like he's in pain, and he very indiscreetly tries to stifle a cough while Dean sends him a suspicious glare.
"No, you're not, Cas. You're bleeding through your bandages," the hunter counters.
Castiel is silent for a moment and lets out a quiet sigh before he speaks again.
"Nothing can be done," he says simply, and suddenly Dean looks ticked.
"The fuck is that supposed to mean? Cas, you need stitches," he argues, sounding angry but trying not to raise his voice.
The angel shakes his head.
"I do not. I am fine, Dean."
The hunter sits up slightly, shifting carefully beneath him. Castiel winces anyway and has to focus to keep his breathing steady.
"Right, you're just fine," Dean agrees sarcastically, "Care to elaborate on that or does 'bleeding out and immobile' fit your definition of pristine health?"
"Dean," Castiel says more firmly, "Nothing can be done. The injury is not a part of my vessel. The… bleeding is a manifestation of the energy my grace is losing to make reparations."
There is a flash of fear in Dean's eyes.
"Losing—? What - it'll come back, right?" Dean asks, masking his panic.
The angel nods, "Yes, Dean. My grace will mend itself. As I've told you, I am in no danger of dying."
The hunter watches him for a long moment, analysing the look in his eyes.
"Yeah?" he finally starts, "Well at least let me check your bandages. At the very least, we need to change them."
The angel nods, complying without protest.
It's a bit of a struggle, but Cas is able to sit up with little help from Dean. He's slow, and he shudders at the shifting of his unhealed wounds, but he bites his lip and doesn't make a sound.
He's leaning forward, holding two pillows pressed against his stomach to aid in supporting his weight as Dean carefully cuts off the dirtied bandages.
"Alright, Cas, I've gotta clean this up," the hunter warns, referring to the blood that is beginning to drip down Castiel's back, seeming to originate from creases of his shoulder blades.
The angel nods.
"I understand, Dean," he says quietly.
"Alright. You're doing good, man. Just try not to wake up Mattie. I'll be real careful, I promise."
"Yes, Dean," Cas says, sounding surprisingly relaxed, and there is a very subtle underlying tone of fondness to his voice, "I trust you… I never doubted that you would act as such."
The hunter watches him amoment before clearing his throat.
"Alright, man, enough of that sappy shit," he mutters, absolutely not blushing, "Just try to stay calm, and… keep the volume down."
Dean reaches forward tentatively and wipes away the blood as gently as he can manage, taking as much care, if not more, as he would have with Sammy when they were kids.
Castiel tenses. He's stiff and locked up and probably biting a hole in his lip… or at least drawing blood from the dried up cut taking residence there.
He keeps quiet though.
His breathing becomes ragged and shallow, and a couple quiet whimpers escape from his lips, but he doesn't cry out like he had the previous night.
There are no wounds when the blood is removed, only smooth, pale skin, and Dean gives in to the urge to press a gentle kiss to the top of his shoulder. Castiel relaxes at the contact.
"Alright, buddy. Just need to wrap you back up now," he assures, already placing a square of cotton down over the angel's shoulder blade.
Castiel straightens himself just enough so Dean can replace his bandages properly.
"Thank you, Dean," he almost whispers, humming at the hunter's gentle touches where his fingers brush against his side as he works.
"Hey, that's what I'm here for," he responds nonchalantly, which earns him a dissatisfied look from his angel.
"Dean, you have much greater purpose than dealing with my injuries. You have already accomplished things far more significant," Castiel reminds.
The hunter just laughs quietly to himself, and he's suddenly unbelievably happy, because he has Cas back, and he hadn't quite realised until then the full extent to which he had missed him. Not to mention, they had somehow, miraculously, managed to keep Matthias asleep through the whole ordeal with his wings, and Dean was just blatantly happy.
When the baby does wake up, it's of his own accord, and he only cries because he's hungry. Dean smiles as he cradles Matthias to his chest before laying him down next to Cas. The angel has the most awed, loving expression on his face as he comfortingly brushes up and down the baby's side. This is how it's supposed be, simple and mundane, and it's perfect.
It's so perfect, and Dean can't believe he almost lost this.
Dec. 16
Matthias is close to two weeks now. He's still so tiny, it's a little hard to believe.
Cas is almost fully healed, physically at least. There are still light, patchy remnants of the worst bruises, and he still favours one leg slightly when he walks, but the limp is hardly noticeable, the scars are fading, and he's able to move around on his own.
His grace is still fried for the most part, but he says the injuries are healing, slowly but surely. Dean can see that it hurts him, but Cas never complains. He doesn't try to hide it, but neither does he bring the issue to light.
He's sitting on the couch now, staring at Matthias, who is watching him back intently. Dean laughs quietly to himself as he enters the room from the kitchen, carrying a mug of chai in one hand and plain black coffee in the other.
"Make faces at him," the hunter encourages, setting the drinks on the coffee table taking a seat beside his angel and their son.
Castiel shifts his attention to Dean, unmasked confusion gracing his features.
"How do I do that?" he asks as though his lack of knowledge in genuinely concerning.
The hunter shrugs.
"Just make a funny face. Like a chipmunk," he suggests, squishing his cheeks and scrunching his face in demonstration.
Castiel just stares at him for a moment.
"Dean, that is upsetting."
The hunter takes his hands off his face and laughs genuinely at the angel's expression.
"Well I dunno then, Cas. Do a fish face or something, puff up your cheeks."
Castiel furrows his eyebrows, looking contemplative for a moment before turning back to Matthias and doing as Dean suggested, puffing out his cheeks and pursing his lips, even using his hands to imitate gills.
Dean laughs again, harder this time, because Cas makes the gesture so awkward in the most adorable way.
Matthias gurgles and reaches his arms up towards his father, waving his tiny limbs excitedly and cracking a crooked half smile.
Dean wants to capture this moment and frame it, play it over and over until every detail is memorised.
He also wants to capture the devious look in Cas' eyes after they lay Matthias down to sleep, the look that says he's tired of waiting to get better, and he wants it now. He wants to capture the desperate, needy noises that escape his lips and the pink flush in his cheeks.
Dean doesn't even care that when Sam comes over for dinner, he will inevitably notice that Cas isn't just walking funny because of healing injuries. Honestly, he's almost looking forward to it.
I know it wasn't very exciting (honestly, I feel it was lame and anticlimactic, and I'm more than a little disappointed with myself to say the least), but really I hope I didn't bore you all. D:
Would you guys like it if I continued to update with various little chapters about Dean and Cas caring for/raising Matthias? Or I could make a separate story for that for those who are interested? You'll have to let me know if you'd want that though. Review or message me, tumblr, whatever, just let me know. I hope you all were able to enjoy this last legitimate chapter (at least to some degree)! Thanks so much for reading and sticking through this whole time!