disclaimer: Characters, ship and universe not of my making. Also, the line thingy isn't working, so you get 0's. Sorry.

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Simon paced in his infirmary, still shirtless. It had been almost half an hour since the order to "unstrap" had been given. He was sweating. Where was Mal? What in the heck had happened? Were they safe? He wanted to go out into the ship and ask somebody but he was afraid the captain might come back and he'd miss him. Still, half an hour was a long time to wait for someone.

"Doc?"

Simon spun around. He had been so busy worrying that he hadn't heard Mal step in. "Is River okay?" he asked, always the first thought to mind.

"Yes," Mal said quietly.

"Is everything else okay? The ship, Kaylee, everyone?"

"Yes."

There wasn't much conviction in the captain's voice. "Are you okay, captain?"

"Yes." He had seen Wash die again. How had he gotten to the infirmary? Why was he there, he wasn't injured. Hopefully Kaylee was okay, bein pregnant and all. He shouldn't have made her stay in the engine room. What if she's gotten tossed about and hurt herself? Or lost the baby? He'd never forgive himself for that. Too many people were dying at his expense. He didn't care for it at all.

"Mal?" Simon snapped his fingers, getting the captain's attention. "What happened?"

"Wash's dead."

"Um..."

"For real, I guess. Gone. Chased after the comet himself." He thought he might just cry, and that weren't a good idea right now. Not in front of Simon, anyway. But why else had he come here if not for consolance? "He just took off and got it away so we could get by."

"Wow. That's really brave of him."

"I dunno." And he really didn't. Wash had said it had been his job to protect the ship, but did it mean having to go that far?

"I'm so sorry, Mal."

"Yeah." He looked into Simon's eyes, which were full of genuine regret. "I don't know what's going on anymore," he confessed. "Lost my damn mind."

Simon smiled, then kissed Mal's lips. "I know."

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Jayne ran into the engine room. "Kaylee?"

"Uh huh?" She was swinging in her hammock, happy as you pleased.

"You alright?"

"Sure I am. We didn't jolt too much. Had a tummy ache for a while, but I'm okay now. It passed." Jayne knelt on the floor beside her, hugging her belly. Kaylee stroked his hair. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothin. Just... nothing."

"No, what?"

"If you'd gotten hurt, or something... Just making sure you're alright."

Kaylee smiled lovingly at him. "You were worried about me?"

"Course I was. You're all pregnant and such, what if you'd fallen on your belly? Could hurt yourself, or lil Joss there."

"Joss?"

Jayne nodded. "If that's okay with you, I mean. Was thinking about it, and I kinda like Joss. Not too fancy, but fancy enough, you know?"

"Joss. I like it. Sounds familiar, almost." She smiled, taking in the sound of it. "Joss Cobb. I really like it. Two double letters, make it fun to spell, you know?"

"He's takin my name?"

"Well, yeah. You're his dad. Unless you don't want-"

"No, I want. It's fine." He looked at her belly, which had taken on a pleasant basketall shape. There was a little person in there, who now had a name all his own. He touched her belly gently. "Joss," he confirmed. And Joss kicked his fingertips.

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"Just look at you!"

Inara hugged Kaylee tightly, reaching over her now rather obtrusive belly. "I can't believe it," she gushed. "Just look at you. How far along are you?"

"About six months."

"You look beautiful, Kaylee. Like a mom. You glow."

"I glow?" she blushed.

"Most certainly." Inara stared proudly at Kaylee, who beamed in return. She knew Kaylee would the the first mom on Serenity. Nothing against Zoe, of course, but it just had to be Kaylee. "You look radient."

"I feel gassy," Kaylee confessed. "But I'll take compliment all the same." She hooked her arm around Inara's and walked into the dusty street with her. Jayne fell in step right behind them.

"Congratulations to you too, Jayne," Inara tossed over her shoulder. He grunted some sort of response which Inara respectfully chose to ignore. "So," she asked, directing attention again to Kaylee, "are you two going to marry?"

"Don't think so," she told the companion truthfully. "We never really decided to, an' it seems silly to get married just because we got a baby now. He don't seem the tied down type, does he?"

Inara smiled a secret smile only companions can really accomplish. "Kaylee," she said gently, "that man has been tied to you since the moment he saw you."

"No," Kaylee said immediately, followed by a shy "what makes you say that?"

"A lady can always tell, which is why I'm surprised you didn't already know that."

Kaylee blushed and grinned. She'd been called both beautiful and a lady in the span of two minutes. Today was shaping out wonderfully.

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Mal and Zoe stepped out onto the terrain, scanning the surroundings as always. They'd gotten message from Inara they she was nearby, and when Zoe informed her of Kaylee's condition she demanded they stop in for a visit. It was a relatively prosperous planet they'd landed on, and like many times before had been clearance to land only because Inara had claimed acquaintenceship with them. Mal was making a mental checklist. Food was always needed, Simon wanted some of his personal doctor things, which was all fine and well. River wanted a goat, which in no way was gonna happen. Forrest asked for a coloring book, which Mal weren't too sure they even made in parts like this anymore but was willing to give it a half-assed try. Jayne wanted ammo, what else was new. Kaylee needed sweet things like cookies and, for some unknown reason, a jar of pickled eggs. Yuck. He felt like he was shopping for a load of children. They'd get what he gave them and that was that.

The streets bustled busily. Simon had opted to come along since Mal knew nothing about nothing of medical supplies and would most likely bring back contraband that wasn't worth the price of a smile. The three (or four, if you counted River who sort of drifted in and out of their path) of them stepped directly and quietly. There was enough chatter in their own heads ot make up for conversation. At one point, Mal leaned in close to Zoe, who nodded instantly.

"How many?" he muttered.

"I see three so far, maybe more, though."

"Know who sent 'em?"

"Badger? They look dirty."

Mal shook his head. "Alliance, my guess. Covered up."

"But... why?"

"Same as always. And we're parading an experiment gone wrong through the streets." He motioned slightly at River, who had caught a butterfly and was trying to converse with it. In its own native tongue, of course.

"What?" Simon interrupted, never liking to be left out.

"Never you mind, doc. Keep your eyes straight. We're being watched, so no stupid stuff, got that?"

"Sir, yes sir," he said softly. By now he knew better than to ask Mal about who was following, or why. Usually it was his fault, and he didn't need to be reminded of how many times he'd put them all at risk. He did, however, take River's arm and gently guide her along more steadily.

"Whoooo," she said to the butterfly as they parted ways.

"They're going to trail us everywhere," Zoe said confidently, as though telling everyone it would rain all weekend. "You suppose we're under arrest yet?"

"Don't rightly know."

"Inara!" River yelled at the top of her lungs. Mal internally cursed something awful. As always, the girl was making a spectacle of herself when she ought to be shutted up.

Inara, just a few yards ahead of them, turned around. "Yes, River?"

"Captain needs a word."

"I do?"

River shot him a look of pure lucidity, the kind of thing she only got once in a while and when she did you had better shut up and focus. "Yes."

"Yes," he agreed readily. "Sure thing."

Inara let them catch up, and the Alliance spies that had been tailing them suddenly seemed to have vanished.

"Huh," Mal said, impressed.

"Probably underdogs," Zoe assured him. "Just scouts low enough in the ranks to take on something best left alone to get some kind of recognition."

"They don't interfere with royal affairs," River said before wandering off again.

"Royal affairs?" Mal asked, confused as ever.

"Inara," the girl called over her shoulder. "Husband is a knight."

"Husband?" Mal said incredulously before smirking like a thief with a heist in his back pocket. "Well how about that?"

Inara, as always, was cool and confident over her flushed interior. "He is not my husband. I've been given an offer which I have not decided to accept yet."

"But you are going to accept it?"

"That hardly concerns you, does it?"

"Didn't know whores were allowed to marry s'all."

Her smooth shoulders tensed for oh but a second. "Some things will never change, apparently. A shame. I was rather hoping you'd become a bit more tactful in my absence."

Mal sniggered. "Nah. No use for it."

"Which explains why Captain Reynolds is still the Lone Captain Reynolds."

"What's that s'posed to mean?" He knew damn well, but liked his banter with Inara. Reminded him of when everything made some kind of sense.

Inara paused at the doorway of a strip mall type line of shops. "I wonder, is it a personal choice for you to remain without a wife, or is it just that no woman could possibly stand you long enough unless she's trying to kill you? Honestly, even Jayne found someone who can tolerate him, and Jayne is not an easy man to like. You at least had a kind of sense of humor to fall back on."

Mal nodded agreeably. "I can tell you right now, it's personal choice. Got no use for a woman in my life as it were."

"True," River agreed airily. "Captain has no use for women."

Simon coughed loudly, breaking up the conversation. His sister smirked. "I'm fine," Simon assured their concerned faces. "Dust." He glared at River who didn't seem to notice.

They entered the shopping arena (and arena was really the only word to describe such a thing) and looked about, each and every one of them impressed by something. The ceiling was high and grand, and seemed to be changing color every so often. There were shops for everyting one could ever hope for (unless you hoped for stolen black market babies, then you were out of luck).

"River," Simon asked, "are you following me or Mal?"

"Kaylee," she replied, already poking the mechanic's belly and scowling when Joss kicked back.

"Fine," he sighed, knowing Jayne would be close by Kaylee all day and no matter what had happened between them before, Jayne would keep River safe. If only by Kaylee's orders. Simon set off in the northern direction.

"I'll find you," Zoe told Mal, and she stepped seamlessly into the crowd.

Mal reached out to grab her and ask why she was splitting off, but the woman was already gone. Well, he had hired her for stealth, hadn't he? Since Kaylee, Jayne and River had already gone off to wherevere they were going (to see weapons, no doubt), he held out his arm for Inara. "Do royalty need escorts 'round here?"

"No," she said, taking his arm with something similar to disdain, "but the company is appreciated. Tell me, Mal, what have you all being doing?"

"Well, Kaylee got herself pregnant, but you knew that."

"Indeed. When did Jayne happen?"

"Ah... believe it was a new year party some time after we last saw you. They got drunk an' then got messy all over my cargo."

"On the cargo?"

"Shipment of cupcakes."

"Ah." That was all needed saying on that matter. "How about River? Is she... improving?"

"That's hard to say. My thoughts are that she's always been a nuthouse loon, but I guess she's been a lot less loony for a while now. Got her days."

"Of course. And Simon?"
Mal smiled, a smile that Inara did not recognize immediately. When she did, however, she nearly wished she didn't. "Simon, well... I guess he's just the same as when you left him. Still working on his sister's not bein crazy anymore. He left us for a few months, but came back cuz a Kaylee."

"And what about Zoe? How has Zoe been?"

Now here was a tough one. Mal considered skipping the question altogether, but it might be better for her to know before she said something awful. "Zoe, ah... well, she ain't really been the same since Wash died again."

"She seemed to be coping well when I last saw her."

"See, that was the first time. I mean the second time." Inara gave him a puzzled look, and he fidgeted with the can of gravy he'd picked up. "Well, now this here's an interesting story." So he told her all about Wash as they picked out food for the ship, which Inara absently put on her own tab so Mal could stop looking for enough money to pay and explain how a man could die twice. When he had finished about the trailer comet, the woman was close to tears.

"Oh, my. Poor Zoe. I couldn't imagine losing someone twice."

"She ain't taking it well this time around."

"Nor should she be." Inara touched Mal's arm gently. "It seems so unreal, like something from a book I would read as a child."

"Yeah."

"So I suppose you all have been up to a lot since I've been gone."

"Oh, that ain't the half of it. Haven't even told you about Forrest yet."

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Zoe had never kept a journal before. Okay, when she was seven her uncle had given her beautiful stationary and she used it to write letters to herself. But that wasn't really the same. But today she had gone into town and gotten herself a leather bound book and a god ink pen. As soon as dinner had ended (which she had cooked) she disappeared into her room and started writing. This wasn't a journal either, she decided. She was writing more letters, but not to herself. She would write to her husband. There was so much she hadn't said to Wash when he was here (alive? no, but yes). He had died thinking she didn't want him on board anymore. What an awful thing for him to think. Looking back, of course she wanted him to stay. She had a second chance at life with him, the only man she ever really trusted (except for Mal, but that was too platonic to count) and of course she wanted him to stay. Why hadn't she said that right away? It ate at her conscience constantly. So she started writing, starting at something resembling six that night and didn't stop until somewhere near three in the morning.

While Zoe wrote, Inara sat with Kaylee in her bedroom and braided her hair. "So," she said casually, "are you excited?"

"Of course I am. Scared, too, but mostly excited."

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"A boy. We're going to call him Joss."

"Joss? It's beautiful. I like it. It sounds regal."

"Jayne thought of it, actually. All on his own."

"Hmm. So, I hope you don't mind me asking-"

"Why Jayne?"

"Well..."

"I'm not surprised. I ask myself sometimes, too. But he's actually really sweet, when you get to know him. He never stops surprising me."

"As long as you're happy," she said, patting Kaylee's shoulder, "that's all that matters." As she twisted the strands of Kaylee's hair into a perfect french braid, she decided to switch the conversation into what she had been very curious about since that afternoon. "So, how long have Mal and Simon been... together?"

"Huh? Well, Simon's been here since you were still on the ship, so that's-"

"No, I mean how long have they been... together."

"Together? You mean like..." It dawned on Kaylee what Inara did mean, and it startled her quite a bit. "You mean Simon and Mal are... sly to one another?"

"You mean you didn't... oh." Inara fiddled with her fingers, something she had been taught many times not to do when she was nervous. "Well, I could be wrong."

"What would make you think that?"

"Just the way he looked when he talked about Simon this afternoon. I've seen that look on Mal's face before."

"When?"

"When-" When he had stolen a few glances at her, when he thought she wasn't looking. When she had still been on Serenity and too scared and stubborn to say that she knew exactly how Mal felt about her, because she felt it too. Kaylee was expecting an answer. "A few times," she said coolly.

"When you were here?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Inara said kindly, although her tone hinted toward a touch of outrage right below the surface.

Kaylee knew better than to try and get into this conversation with Inara. Besides, she had a lot to think about. Mal and Simon... together? She never would have thought of it. Even know, she didn't know if she could believe it. Of course it wasn't impossible, it just seemed real improbable. Not to mention it put a small dent in her ego. "Mal and Simon," she said, perplexed. "I just... wow."

"Wel, maybe I'm wrong. It just seemed obvious to me."

"Yeah..." Maybe it was obvious and she had just missed all the signs. Or maybe, since Inara was trained to deal with emotions and secrecy, she knew how to spot it better.

But it bothered her. It bothered her so much that she even told Jayne when they went to bed, although she knew he wouldn't take it as well as she did. Surprisingly, though, he didn't seem all too concerned. "So?" he grumbled sleepily.

"Don't that seem odd to you?"

"Don't matter to me, much. Long as neither of 'em tries to get into bed with me, think I'm just fine."

"It just bothers me."

"Why?"

"I dunno, just does."

Jayne rolled over, forcing himself to wake up some. "Your shorts are all twisted because you had a thing with Simon an' now he's all sly for men."

"That's not it!"

"No?"

"No," she protested, although he had really hit it right on. Of course it bothered her. Shouldn't it? "Well, maybe a bit. But wouldn't it bother you if I all a sudden started wanting girls?"

Jayne smirked like the devil, for which Kaylee promptly smacked him with a pillow. "Sorry," he chuckled, "I'm a man. Little Kaylee kissing another woman gets a different reaction than Mal kissin the doctor." As Kaylee gave him her patented 'Gimme a break' look, he pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "Love you," he said seriously.

"I know that. Doesn't make you any less a pain in my side."

"Don't be all jealous cuz a Simon, kay?"

"Jealous? What makes you think I'm jealous?" He shrugged and rolled over. "I don't still like Simon. You know that, Jayne, don't you?"

"Mmm."

"Jayne?"

"Yes, I know that."

Kaylee laid beide him, kissed the back of his neck and cuddled in close. "Now you have to believe it, and we'll be all set."

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"Who in the hell is paging to come on board at this hour?" Mal spat, buttoning his shirt. The same shirt he had worn the day before. He stopped griping as soon as he head Inara's voice crackle through.

"Mal?" she called hesitantly.

Zoe and River, the only other people who'd gotten up, looked at Mal expectantly. He wiped the tired off his scruffy face and contemplated. Then he looked at Zoe. "Let her in," he decided, rushing to greet Inara.

She stepped onto Serenity with two large silk suitcases and a hand woven bag on her shoulder. She looked less elegant than Mal had ever seen her. Don't be mistaken, her clothes and hair were well prepared and her posture proud and perfect. It was all in her eyes, though. Mal noticed most every emotion in those beautiful eyes, and right now she looked like a lost child who wanted to come home. She looked so different from normal, in fact, that Mal didn't have the heart to make any snide comments.

"What calls for this?" he asked.

"I was just... I have a business proposition, as it were."

"Business, eh?" He looked her once over, at the bags and her faded smile and sad eyes. "Okay."

"I need to buy passage on your ship."

"To where?"

A tiny tear slid down her smooth cheek. "I don't care."

"Ah... sure, come on board." He took the two suitcases on the floor and walked behind her, giving Zoe a 'I dunno' look. "You can stay in Kaylee's old room."

"Thank you, Captain." She held her head high, shoulders back and small teardrops gliding down her face.

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Kaylee touched Inara's shoulder gently, rubbing it just a bit. She was trying not to cry, but being pregnant (and really, just being Kaylee) was making it hard. "Oh, Inara," she sighed tragically. "That's terrible."

"It's not terrible," she said bravely. "It was immature and it only proves I made the right decision."

"Still," Kaylee protested, "it's so terribly romantic. Like a bad novel by Casey Mantell. A knight falls in love with you, and you turn down his marriage proposal so he sends you away."

"He didn't send me away, I chose to go." She was unpacking her things. Kaylee's room wasn't nearly as elegant as her old living accomodations had been, but she didn't intend to stay long. Did she? "He just decided to make my staying very difficult."

"Did he really say 'get out of here, whore'?"

"Not in so many words."

"Then why-"

"All of my clients suddenly declined my services in the matter of a day. He made it very clear that my remaining here would be a poor decision."

"Oh, Inara... that is tragic."

"Maybe a bit."

Kaylee wiped her eyes. "Where will you go?"

"I haven't decided yet. But I will probably move somewhere closer to The Core."

"Oh." Kaylee never cared much for the Core planets, but then again she wasn't a graceful companion who needed something more sophisticated from life. "It's real nice having you here, Inara. I really missed you. Everyone did."

"I'm sure not everyone."

"Well, Jayne wouldn't say one way or another, but I'm sure he does. Even the Captain, though he wouldn't ever say either."

Inara pursed her lips, but didn't say anything. She had done enough thinking about Malcolm Reynolds for one lifetime. All last night, deep into the early morning light, all the way walking to the ship, the ten minutes it had taken her to call for passage onto the ship. Too much.

"It's a good thing we stayed docked here for the night, isn't it? You might have be stuck here from the sound of the way this guy was treating you. Probably have stopped anyone from giving you a ride anywhere."

"Yes." She hadn't thought of that. That also made the possibility that this man would follow her and try and sabatoge Serenity became very real. It frightened her. This man whom she had thought she'd know, she didn't at all. "I'm famished. Shall we get ourselves to breakfast?"

"Absolutely."

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River Tam walked around the ship, fascinated by all the foliage surrounding her. Her fingertips touched the spry leaves cautiously. Who knew if one of them was a gun, or perhaps a lever she was best not touching? Reaching out to snap a twig from a branch might mean reaching out and snapping Kaylee's arm. But still, they were startlingly white and so interesting.

"River?" Simon called down.

"Can't hear you," she whispered. "Interested."

"River!" he called louder, peering through the cargo trying to see her. He rolled his eyes when he caught her eye peering out at him. "I can see you, beibei."

"Snow White is lost in the forest," she informed him. The bark was scratching her arms. One thing she could credit her craziness, it was damn vivid and detailed. "She is looking for the cottage."

"I doubt you'll find a cottage in there, but you certainly are lost in the woods. Come on out, dinner is almost ready." He turned to go. "Oh, and bring Forrest."

"Forrest?"

The little boy came sprinting at her from far off. "River!" he declared, having found her. "Look at the trees!"

"Trees?" She looked around, trees completely surrounding her. She had been asleep when they'd made the stop to pick up the cargo. Was this an actual forest? It seemed to be. "Why?" she asked the boy.

"Uh... trees for a desert planet. So they can breathe. Ever see so many white trees, River?"

"No," she told him, although she had in her dreams. In those dreams all the trees were white because there were no colors. They had all been medicated out of her.

"I'm hungry."

"Go eat."

"Will you come with me?"

Would she? More importantly, could she? Could Snow White get out of this forest? Wouldn't there be a wicked queen waiting for her? All the whiteness and green leaves were starting to scare her. But beside her was a short little man, one of six? Seven? He was holding out his hand and smiling. He wanted to help her. "I'm lost," she told him, wanting to cry. He couldn't help her. No one had been able to yet.
"Not me," he said confidently. His tiny hand gripped hers tightly. "I know the way!" He started pulling her, weaving in and out of thin birch trees, ducking branches and jumping pots and roots. She was pulled helplessly. Tiny sprigs whiped in her face and tangled in her hair. It hurt, it stung, but she was so ready to get out of this forest and find the clearing that awaited them. The boy said he knew where they were going, so she could only trust him.

She tripped on the bottom stair.

"Watch out," Forrest warned her. "Don't fall down the stairs."

"We're out," she said, amazed.

"Told you I knew how to get out."

"You did." There they were, white and terrifying. But all behind her. "Home," she said, for the first time realizing the weight of her words.

"Yes," Forrest said soberly. "We're home. All of us."

"Not all of us."

"No, not daddy. But you are."

"I am." She smiled, and she understood. "I am."