1Author's Note: I was a little disappointed with the number of reviews for the last chapter, considering that some big stuff happened there. Thanks to all of you who are continuing to follow this story, and to those who are just discovering it. I hope you all enjoy where it goes. Remember, more reviews equals faster updates.

"I'm gonna kick your ass."

Stan blinked. "What?"

"I'm gonna kick your ass," Kenny repeated. His hands balled up into threatening fists.

Stan held up his hands defensively; his palms aimed in Kenny's direction. "Whoa, whoa! Kick my ass for what dude?"

"You know goddamn well what! Now either fight back or I'm really gonna hurt you."

"Kenny I have no clue what's going on," Stan said honestly. "If we're gonna fight I at least wanna know why."

Kenny sighed. He made a mental note to inflict pain first and ask questions later the next time he got into a fight, much like an action movie hero would do. Deciding it was too late now to just haul off and hit his friend, Kenny explained the situation.

"You're taking Bebe to the big dance."

Stan's eyebrows furrowed. "I sure am!" he exclaimed bitterly. "To get back at that asshole Kyle!"

Kenny's fists dropped, his own anger vanishing slightly as brief confusion overcame him. "Huh?"

"Me and Kyle were supposed to go hang out at the dance together all night, right? But then freakin' Wendy asks him out to get revenge on Cartman, and he just agrees to go! He totally ditched me! So now I'm getting revenge on them both for getting their revenge by taking out Bebe. See?"

"...No. All I know is before you got your revenge on them for getting their revenge on Cartman, Bebe was supposed to be my date to the dance. Now I've gotta get revenge on you!"

Stan blinked as the numerous motives for vengeance swirled around and interacted inside his now confused brain.

"...Sooo, wait. You're getting revenge on me for asking out Bebe to get my revenge on Kyle and Wendy for ditching me to go out so they can get revenge on Cartman, right?"

"Yes dude!"

Looking puzzled, Stan's hand scratched his head.

"So does that mean Kyle's gonna have to go to the dance with you now?"

"What?! No! I don't wanna go to the dance with Kyle!" Kenny exclaimed. "I wanted to go with Bebe, but you fucked it up!"

Stan frowned. "Dude I'm sorry okay? How was I supposed to know Bebe was the girl you were trying to ask out? Look, if it means that much to you I'll call off the date."

"Oh no, forget it. I don't want your sloppy seconds."

"My what?"

"Are you fighting me or not?" Kenny reminded him. "Let's go, pussy!"

Stan closed his eyes and shook his head. "Kenny, don't do this. It was an honest mistake."

"Yeah? Then how come when I asked her out, she didn't break off the date with you?"

Stan paused. "I don't know."

"Because she likes you," Kenny assumed. "You stole my piece of ass whether you meant to or not, so now we have to fight."

"Kenny I'm not going to fight you."

"Fine. It's your funeral."

Kenny's hands returned to being balled-up fists of fury. A murderous expression formed on his face. Kenny moved forward, stalking Stan, who backed away out of reflex. Kenny drew his arm back and shifted his body, putting all of his weight behind the upcoming blow. Finally, Kenny's fist flew forward. The hard, brutal punch connected.

Unfortunately for Kenny, Stan managed to see the punch coming and closed the door of his bedroom by the time Kenny threw it. Kenny's fist connected, but it was with Stan's wooden door.

"OW! Son of a bitch!" Kenny said. He clutched at his now sore hand.

Seizing the opportunity, Stan locked the door of his room from the inside. Now safe from harm, Stan walked over to his bed and laid down. From outside, he could hear Kenny growl. The boy began banging on the outside of the door.

"God dammit Stan, open up!"

"No" Stan answered simply.

Kenny banged louder. "I mean it! I want payback!"

Stan rolled over in his bed. "No" he repeated just as calmly.

Back in the hall, Kenny blinked and stopped his pounding on the door. He hadn't foreseen this. He made another mental note. This time, to get into more fights. The only street-fighting rule he was familiar with was to not get into any at school because people would just break them up too soon. Kenny vowed to himself then and there that he'd never again go to a friend's house in order to fight them.

Defeated and pretty embarrassed, Kenny turned away from the bedroom door and began what would feel like a million-mile walk for home. On his way, numerous people entered his mind. He thought about Bebe and how she seemed to like Stan better. He wondered if his recent avoidance of Kyle and Stan in order to get with Bebe was some kind of ironic karma coming back to bite him on the ass. He thought about the school's big dance, and if he even wanted to go now that Bebe would be there with someone else. He thought about how, if he went, he'd stick out like a sore thumb. Everyone in school had a date now. Well, everyone except for Token and Cartman.

It was on that thought that Kenny stopped walking. He paused briefly, then turned and sprinted down a side street.

It was a well-known shortcut to Cartman's house.

Once he arrived at the Cartman house, Kenny's uninjured hand eagerly rang the doorbell. Eric answered it, looking annoyed. He hated when his mother was "out working" at night and couldn't get doors or telephones on his behalf.

"What the hell do you want?" Cartman asked.

"Retribution."

"Why, what'd I do to you?" Cartman asked.

"Not against you."

"Really?" Cartman asked, seeming truly surprised about that news.

"Yeah. Do you have a date to the dance yet?" Ken asked.

"No. Why?"

Kenny smirked.

"If you help me get what I want, I'll make sure you get one."

To Be Continued