Inheritance Chapter 14: Lily can't see with her eyes closed, a harry potter fanfic

Inheritance
XxMookinexX

Based on the Harry Potter books by J. K. Rowling.

XIV. Lily, 9, can't see with her eyes closed.

She didn't like being left behind. Her mum should have understood that, because she was the youngest and the only girl as well, but she forgot sometimes. She was too caught up in writing for the Prophet, even after all those horrible things the Prophet had printed about her dad when they were younger.

"But that's the point you see," she had tried to explain, pulling Lily onto her lap. "We're better than them."

Lily wished she'd thought to ask "Better than who, exactly?" because in later life it always seemed to her that she wasn't better than anybody.

It should have been impossible, with her family, to be unpopular, and she wasn't unpopular exactly, but she never seemed to come first. Teddy married Vic, which was lovely. She'd wanted to be their bridesmaid for ages, but they got so caught up with their new life that she barely saw them apart from Christmases. James was unbearably popular, with a steady stream of on-and-off girlfriends, and he never seemed to have time to really listen to her when she had a problem. They were in the same house, she thought. He should have found the time, but he was too caught up in the fight to be the centre of attention.

Al listened, but she couldn't find time to talk to him very often without Rose and Scorpius hanging around. She couldn't say much of anything in front of Scorpius. She liked him. So, talking to Rose was out of the question. She knew it was uncharitable, but she cursed Rose for getting there first.

Halfway through her fourth year, Hugo started going out with her best friend, and Lily snapped. Enough was enough. The Quidditch team was made up of her family, who were all better players than her. Everyone important in her life kept prioritising either themselves or one another over her. Why couldn't she have something for herself? She didn't even have a subject she was best at, because by then all of their family had passed through these walls and made their impressions, and collectively achieved the best scores everywhere.

"We're better than them," her mother had said. How? In what way was Lily better than anyone? If that was true, why did she feel so alone?

She was Lily Potter. She should have been remarkable. But instead, she chose to throw herself into a series of empty relationships, each more meaningless than the last. Her family kept trying to interfere, to coach her out of her bad life decisions (even Lorcan), but she wasn't happy. Her unhappiness became a life companion, second only to her continual sense of self-disgust.

Lily was unlovable.

It made her so angry. Angrier than she had any right to be because her life should have been perfect. She had the best family in the world. She had lovely, loyal friends. She was decent all-around in her subjects. She was Gryffindor's seeker. She was pretty. She was the apple of her dad's eye. As the third child, and the only girl, she'd been spoilt rotten as a kid. She could have gotten away with murder if she'd wanted to. Even when she was three, and thought head butting people was a brilliant idea, they'd laughed it off. "She doesn't know her own strength!" they joked. "She's the human cannonball!"

She'd spent all her formative years hanging upside-down from her toy broomstick, dreaming of Hogwarts. She'd been happy. Fully of hope.

What had happened, she wondered, to change that? Where and when did it go wrong?

Scorpius Malfoy might be to blame. She'd met him on the train platform when Albus came home for his first Christmas. Scorpius had formally introduced himself to their parents. He'd been so stiff. So uninteresting! But her parents had fallen over themselves in entering 'reassurance' mode. Her Aunt Hermione's heel had hovered over her Uncle Ron's foot, just waiting for him to say one wrong thing. It was the first time she wondered what someone else's life had been like. The first time she'd compared herself to anyone. She'd known she was lucky. She hadn't known she was naive.

How was it possible, that even though her life was perfect, when she compared them, she still fell short.

She'd never met someone as witty, and clever, and foolish, and focused, and cool as he. She'd craved his attention. Not for affection. She wasn't silly enough to believe he'd pick her over Rose. But she'd do mad things, just to steal a glance from him. Throwing herself off the seventh floor balcony. It was a small thing. Dying her hair every other week. Barely an effort. Talking to him, about anything and everything. As easy and as natural as breathing.

Where and when did her life begin again? Grounded in reality, rather than the castles she'd built in the air.

Scorpius Malfoy might be to blame.

When he looked at her, he saw her for who she was as well as who she wanted to be. For all the anger she had when she stormed around the halls and the smiles she cascaded in his direction. Bright. Beyond her actions. She wasn't trying to be dramatic. She wasn't trying to be a drama queen. She was throwing all her effort into being attention seeking. Some people hated her for it. But she wanted the stares. She wanted the words - the provocation and the praise. She wanted the proof that she was important. Needed to stamp it on the universe in black and white. Red and gold.

She wasn't just a Potter. Scorpius didn't see her as Al's little sister any more than he saw Al as James' little brother. Unlike Rose, who he was constantly aware of as a Weasley, as Uncle Ron's daughter, as the one whose family was most unfavorably inclined towards his.

Lily couldn't understand what he liked about Rose, or why he was with her. He often told Lily he didn't have feelings, and Lily liked to rib him for it, because they both knew he'd be lost without Al. They left it unspoken that they both knew he'd be fine without Rose. That maybe he resented her a little bit for making him predictable, and he hated to be predictable.

Rose didn't get how hard Scorpius worked to get where he was. She just wanted to beat him because it was something she felt she had to do. Like she owed it to her father. But it was more than that to Scorpius. He was trying to lift his family out of the mud, trying to get rid of the mud altogether. He saw a wider picture than Hogwarts. Dreamed larger than Lily had ever dared to as a kid, and that was what was so impressive.

When he looked at Lily Potter, who had a perfect life, with her perfect family, he didn't tell her off for being naïve. He didn't comment on her antics, on her 'death wish' or dramatic outbursts. She didn't know if he understood why she chose to act the way she did. But she knew he wasn't as indifferent as he liked to pretend.

"I'm going to be better than them," he confessed. "That's the goal. I'm going to be the most influential Slytherin that ever lived."

She loved him. Loved him because he'd sacrifice anybody, or anything for his ambition. Even himself. When she talked to him, he made her want to blend into the background. Made her want to support his dreams, at the cost of her own. He was brilliant. Her guiding star. She didn't need to be better than anybody when he was around. She'd never be better than him.

Author Notes – I like this Lily. I know when I refer to her through others she sometimes sounds a bit like Lucy, because she's angry, but they're angry for very different reasons.