Tell me, Dean! (Part 14)
Three days have passed since Dean and Castiel showed their love in the Impala, and things were going extremely well for them. The annoying voice in Dean's head disappeared and he was enjoying being with Cas.
Sam was still gone, saving Don's ass, but he called several times letting Dean know he was alright, and actually enjoying the trip. It was amusing how pathetic two ex-soldiers hunting deer, could be. It made Sam feel superior, almost like a god in their pathetic little universes.
For Dean and Cas everything was perfect. Dean was now accepting the fact, that the simple thought of Castiel or the simple hearing of his voice made shivers of the utmost pleasure flow through his veins. He was embracing the situation and loving every second of the time spent with Cas, though nothing actually changed between them. They shared the same profound bond as before – perhaps it was deeper now – they still acted like best friends and avoided chick flicks, but something more was definitely there between them. They kissed every time the urge was strong –and that was quite frequently – and showed their love in the way every normal couple would do. It was new for them, but they would learn to deal with it.
In the perfection of the moments with Castiel, Dean forgot that soon his brother will return and would notice the change in the two of them. I can deal with Sam. And he won't be here this soon, anyway. Dean kept repeating that to himself as days went by, until a week after their share of love in the Impala: Sam arrived.
It was a sunny August morning, therefore Castiel decided to take Dean to a diner. They walked slowly in the warmth of that summer's day, the lovely rays of the sun on their faces, the tranquil warmish breeze in their hair. They didn't walk hand in hand even though they craved each other's touch; they didn't kiss, like the other lovers, in the streets, but not because they were ashamed – they couldn't care less about the people watching them – but they felt too inexperienced to try that in public and feared to ruin the purity of their love. Still, they didn't hide their joy. In the diner they would laugh and gaze at each other – that they knew how to do, they had experience with that. That moment in the diner was for Castiel pure joy: talking with Dean, making Dean laugh, forgetting about the miserable lives they had before. It was a really good day.
They were on their way back to the motel, talking and laughing so hard that they didn't notice the Oldsmobile in the parking lot. They were happy and for the first time in a long time they were talking about unimportant small things that made them laugh. No angel or demon talk, no case, no suffering and destruction, just two normal people chatting about the small things in life that makes it so amazing.
"You're good at swaying, you'll learn fast." Sam could hear Dean's voice in front of the motel room and he stood up smiling. He was happy he was finally together with his brother.
"…and I will teach you how to dance." Dean said laughing and opening the motel door with his left hand allowing Cas to go in first. They were laughing really hard. Cas wasn't really sure Dean even knew how to dance but he was looking forward to it: the touch of their bodies, the friction, the slow swaying.
Sam looked surprised as they entered the room. Was Dean talking about teaching Cas to dance? No, he must be joking. Castiel stopped as he noticed Sam in the room and his smile faded away, shock replacing his happy facial expression. Dean almost stumbled because of Cas and was about to ask him why he stopped, when he noticed what he was starring at. Sammy! Dean's eyes widened and he closed the door with a quick move, like he was hiding something behind that door.
"Sammy…you're back?" Sam wasn't expecting that reaction from his brother so he ignored it.
"Yeah, I just got here." Because no one said anything else Sam sat at the desk and went on, as Dean and Cas sat on the edge of the bed. "I found Don and his friend in the woods. Apparently Don fell off a cliff and hit his head pretty badly. " He said that with certain nonchalance, then he continued his account: Frank, Don's friend, got hurt when attacked by a wild boar and was unable to carry Don out of the forest. Sam found them easily and saved their asses. He also killed some wolves that prowled around their settlement and Frank showed a certain admiration for Sam, that remembered him of the way he looked at Castiel the day he first met him. Sam laughed. It was good to save Don's ass and prove that he was better…at least in that. He still has Amelia to go home to and mend his wounds. Sam dismissed that thought and cleared his throat. "So, what's your story?"
Sam saw the color vanish from Dean's cheeks and got worried. Did something happen? Sam looked at Cas, his eyebrows lifted. Dean noticed the concern in Sam's look so he told him what happened in the past few days, except for his private moments with Cas. He would do that later… Sam just arrived and he deserved to be praised for his actions. After all, Dean was really proud of him.
They arrived in the evening from the diner and Cas went to take a shower. They spent an amazing day together: Smalltalk, a bar, the park. It was a normal day. One of the many to come. That thought made Sam really happy.
Now Sam and Dean were alone in the room. For a few moments there was silence, and then Sam cleared his throat. He noticed, while they were in the diner that night something was clearly going on between Cas and his brother. He couldn't help but see that the way they gazed at each other was more relaxed and frequent than usual. Then there was the way they touched: Dean touched Castiel's shoulder's several times with affection and even at the table they sat very close, their shoulders and arms gently touching.
Sam was sitting at the desk and Dean was on the bed, his back leaned against the headboard. He turned on the chair, his body now facing his brothers'. "What's going on between you and Cas?" Dean straightened his back and pulled his legs to sit on the edge of the bed.
There was an obvious tension in Dean's facial muscles when he answered. "What do you mean? You said it yourself Sammy, Cas and I share a" and imitating Castiel's deep voice "'more profound bond'."
Sam nodded but still continued his thought. "You seemed more profound tonight…"
Dean released a sigh. He wasn't ready to tell Sam what really happened, so he chose his words carefully, leading Sam just halfway in the right direction. "Cas saved my life a week ago Sammy. I told you, I was lying helplessly on the floor and that guy could have killed me, and this time…you know: we can't come back." Sam raised his brow and nodded. Now everything made more sense. But still… No, he won't force him. Dean will talk about it when he'll feel like talking.
Dean felt his brother didn't believe him entirely, but he couldn't talk to him about it. As the minutes passed by they sat in silence, until Sam decided to speak again.
"I slept with Amelia." To formulate that sentence seemed to have consumed a large amount of his energy so Dean didn't ask any further questions about it. He wasn't sure how to react: he hated that his little brother was once again allowed bliss just to be torn away from it moments later. He wished he could say something to make him feel better; to make him understand how sorry he was that Don was around, but he knew there was nothing he could say that would help, so he just nodded.
Dean went at the desk and gripped Sam's shoulder softly. "Love is a weird and unexpected thing, Sammy. We can't control who we fall in love with and certainly we can't turn it off just to please the others." Sam nodded and looked at his brother. He felt Dean's sorrow: not being able to help Sam feel better has always been Dean's trigger to unhappiness, so he smiled. He wanted to make his big brother see that he was alright, even if he wasn't.
That night none of them could sleep. Castiel was worried about whether Dean would tell Sam about their… bonding or not; Sam was thinking about Amelia and the amazing time they had spent together before hitting the road to find Don; and Dean was thinking about it all. He was thinking of a way to make his little brother happy and together with Amelia. Damn, he even thought of pushing that Don guy off a cliff himself. And then there was Cas. He knew he had to tell Sam about him and Cas but he didn't know how and when to do that. Hey Sammy, Cas –ex- fallen angel of the Lord –and I had intercourse on the back seat of the Impala, while the only light we had was from the burning corpse of that werewolf. No, he couldn't think of any proper way to tell him about Cas. Maybe he should say it and then wait for Sam's reaction. That is a little cruel, but still the best idea I have so far so… Maybe he was going to dream the answer again. That is, if he could get any sleep, of course.