Author's Notes: Many thanks to PP for this brilliant idea. Please don't forget to review; it makes me really really happy ;-)
Sitting on the curb of an Ankh-Morpork street were two brothers. Their father was up among the rooftops, but boys didn't mind. It was nice, now and then, just to spend a little time with one another. They fought of course, but they really did love each other. The battle was only a game, and, deep down, they were united.
They were, after all, Sto-Helit-Teatimes.
"What about her?" Edward suggested, gesturing to a pretty girl in a rich dress – the sixth lady they had examined that night. "She's obviously very well off."
"Yes, she'd be quite a catch," Johnny agreed.
"Very difficult, too," his twin nodded.
"Nah, I think she'd be easy. The the way she's going up and talking to that man over there? She's even flirting with him."
"It looks to me like they've known one another a long time. What makes you think she'd be easy?"
"If she's so friendly I don't see how it could be hard to get close enough to her."
"But she'll have people watching out for her. A rich father, perhaps. And think of our mother. She's well off, friendly, and is still very, very dangero – " Edward cut himself off. "Oh never mind. She isn't a good example. Mother isn't friendly at all."
"I'll have to concur. Brilliant, wonderful, bold, brave, witty – but terribly crabby."
"I don't think any of us inherited that trait," Edward observed speculatively. "We're all relatively friendly, I'd think."
"A good thing, if you ask me, brother dear. Being polite is oh so important," Johnny grinned charmingly.
"Back to our previous discussion, if you don't mind, Johnny. Look, the man's proposing to her. I told you so."
Johnny frowned, not liking the idea of being wrong.
"I still think she'd be easy. He's rather poor, see? What if her parents are mad at her for that and wouldn't be keeping an eye on her? That would get rid of the problem of – "
"But she's wearing a rich dress, and it's very very new, which would make one think that she has her own money, or is being provided for. If she's being provided for, we can easily assume that someone is watching out for her."
Johnny sighed in defeat.
"I still think I could do it in three seconds flat."
"I say thirty. You'd have to introduce yourself first. It's the polite thing to do."
"You are so very right, Eddy," Jonathan Teatime nodded gravely. "I was being terribly silly. You just have to give your name before you inhume someone!"