14. Best Friends

When Olivia and Nick arrived at The Saloon that night, all the usual crowd was there already. Olivia glanced around, wondering if Elliot would show up, but she didn't see him. She sat down at the bar next to Kathy and Nick got them both a drink. He spotted a friend at the other end of the bar and walked over. Olivia followed him with her eyes. Nick Amaro. He was the sweetest man, and handsome too with his dark hair and dark eyes. It was just about the only thing he had in common with Dean.

When they were kids, they'd gotten into trouble regularly and Nick would always bail her out, or at least try to. When Nick admitted to her on her seventeenth birthday that he'd fallen in love with her, it had been uncomfortable at first. But they had found their groove again after a while. He had always been protective of her and that hadn't changed. She just enjoyed the extra attention he was giving her and hoped he wasn't hurt too much when she hooked up with someone else. They had both dated a few other people over the years but their friendship had always survived. She knew he was a little wary of the cowboy from New York who had shown up one day, and she guessed he knew she had slept with him that weekend. In the end, he had benefitted from that though, in a weird way. A few weeks after Elliot had left, she'd finally given in to Nick.

It wasn't the first time she and Nick had had sex. When they were fifteen and curious to death to find out what all the fuss was about, they'd experimented a little together. It was the safest way to find out how things worked, without having to be afraid to lose face or be gossiped about in school. Trying out condoms had been hilarious and their first time had been rather painful for her. But they'd read about that in books so they knew it would get better. After a few tries Nick managed to give her an orgasm for the first time, and their experiment had ended. They were ready to face the world. They were team Bensaro. Friends for life.

Her mind drifted back to Elliot and she glanced around again. He wasn't here. It had been new with him, and not just because it had been such a long time that she'd been with a man. Elliot was a very strong man and a powerful lover, but there had been something very tender about him. He definitely knew what he was doing but he wasn't rough. Passionate, yes, but not rough. And the look in his eyes when Nick told him that she was taken ... It had been genuine. He was hurt. He'd come all the way out here again to see her and despite telling herself that there was no need, she felt a little guilty. But she hadn't asked him to come. Why would she? She frowned and took a deep breath. He had no right to just assume that she'd still be alone. That she'd be waiting for him to finally come back when they hadn't made any promises to each other. His life was in New York and hers was here.

Kathy nudged her with an elbow and Olivia snapped out of her thoughts.

"You and Nick doing okay Liv?" her friend asked her.

"Sure," she replied. "Why wouldn't we?"

Kathy shrugged.

"I don't know. I just know that look."

"What look?"

Kathy grinned and looked at Nick across the bar before turning back around to face Olivia. Kathy had been her friend just as long as Nick had, and they talked about everything in their lives. Kathy could read her like a book so she knew there was no sense in trying to hide anything from her.

"My cowboy is back in town," she blurted out.

"Oh. Does Nick know?"

Olivia nodded and explained to Kathy how Elliot had shown up at the diner just before Nick.

"Was it awkward?"

Olivia bit her lip. It had been, a little. But why? He wasn't anything to her, was he? Kathy studied her face and nodded in understanding.

"I know why you're with Nick now Liv, don't forget that," Kathy warned before she could come up with a bogus answer.

Of course Kathy knew. They had discussed it at length after her cowboy had gone back to New York. She wasn't about to open up to a stranger again. To someone who wouldn't stay. Nick was safe. He was always there. His life was here, in this town, just like hers. And he loved her. She had never and would never doubt Nick's love for her. He would never hurt her. Not like Dean had.

It still all boiled down to Dean Porter. He had broken her and for a long time, she thought she'd never be whole again. After the accident and losing her baby, she'd been depressed for months. Sharon Marsden had been great to her and had really stepped up as a surrogate mother. In fact, she'd been more of a mother to her than her real mother had ever been. And Sharon knew what betrayal felt like. They had all been shocked to find out that her husband was in fact Olivia's father. Olivia still wondered sometimes if deep down, her own mother really hadn't know. Granted, she didn't look like Joseph Hollister at all. She had her mother's skin and her mother's eyes. It had been very painful for Sharon to learn that her late husband had hit such a low point in one of his depressions that he had raped someone. But DNA didn't lie and she had shown remarkable strength when she decided to take Olivia in after her mother's death.

And Sharon's strength, the love of her best friend Kathy and her other surrogate mother, Dana, had been what had helped her get back on her feet gradually. Sharon had taken care of her after she'd been released from the hospital. She had nurtured her at home. And after a while, Kathy had helped her get out of the house again. To face everyone who knew what had happened to her, as well as those who weren't sure about it. Kathy provided distraction, helping her to just enjoy herself again, while Dana helped her resume working gradually. She wasn't going back to volunteering at the hospital and Dana gave her some more hours once she was up to it.

After a long winter, spring had set in and Olivia had finally started feeling alive again. She went out again, to The Saloon, to dance to her favorite music. She stayed close to Kathy and Nick at first. They were her safety net. She wouldn't dance with anyone but them for a while but she had gotten better, little by little.
Men still noticed her and it had given her a boost of confidence that they didn't treat her differently after what had happened. She laughed again, and enjoyed the simple things in life. Like lemon ice cream and butterflies. She savored the little things now, all the good things in life. They charged her and gave her energy. She was able to think back to her time with Dean without breaking down. It still hurt but it didn't kill her anymore.

"So are you going to meet him this weekend?" Kathy asked.

Olivia shrugged.

"I'll talk to him if I run into him but I'm not hooking up with him again, if that's what you're asking."

"You know that's not what I'm asking," Kathy said, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "But I know the guy managed to get to you. Don't you wanna know why he came back and went straight to the diner?"

If Olivia was honest with herself, she kind of hoped that Elliot would come to The Saloon. Kathy was right. He'd gotten to her a little. She couldn't hide that from her best friend. She had felt something that weekend, that she thought she'd never feel again. And it had terrified her. She had tested Elliot and he'd passed every test. He hadn't tried to kiss her when they went out for ice cream. He had taken her home in stead of to his room. He had been the perfect gentleman, even when she'd stripped down to her underwear at the lake. But when he kissed her behind the waterfall that Saturday, she knew she had failed her own test. She had been able to keep her happy poker face intact but her walls had come down for a minute. She had felt exposed and had moved away from him quickly, jumping into the water again. But after watching the sun set together and realizing he would be gone the next day, she had just given in to her own weakness. She needed more from this man, even if it would only be for one night.

Maybe she shouldn't have. The memories wouldn't fade, not even after almost three months. Not even after sleeping with Nick again. Nick had become a man since their experimenting at age fifteen but he was still no match for her city cowboy. She hated herself for thinking that way but she just couldn't help it. And now he was back.

"I don't think he's gonna show up here tonight," Kathy mused. "He didn't strike me as the kind of guy who would move in on a woman who's taken."

"No, he wouldn't," Olivia agreed right away.

"We could go find him?" Kathy suggested, her piercing blue eyes trained on her browns. "You know you want to."

Olivia looked down at her glass and then back up at Nick. Nick saw her looking at him and lifted his glass, smiling widely. He was so sweet. He'd been nothing but good to her. She didn't want to hurt him.

"I know, I know," Kathy sighed, understanding her friend without words. "I know Nick's a sweet puppy and you want him to be happy. But you have to be honest with yourself too, honey. This guy ... he's not Dean."

Olivia's eyes flicked back to Kathy's at the mention of Dean's name.

"I know that," she snapped. "but he will leave again."

Kathy sighed, shaking her head. Olivia knew Kathy only wanted the best for her. And she knew that she didn't agree with her reasons for being with Nick. She wasn't in love with him. She did love him though, in a different way. And that was something, right?

Nick came back towards them and asked Olivia if she wanted to dance. Just when she hopped off her stool, Kathy put a hand on her arm.

"Liv, you two have fun here, okay? I'm going to check out a few other places. See if I can get some action too. Talk to you tomorrow?"

Olivia pursed her lips. She knew Kathy was going to look for Elliot. And she couldn't stop her, so she just gave her friend a brief nod before following her boyfriend to the dance floor. A few minutes later, Kathy left The Saloon.

...